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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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You're not gonna bulk huge unless you're lifting like 2 hours a day and taking tons of supps and eating nothing but protein for 18 months.

 

But, that doesn't matter if you hate lifting and never do it. I like lifting and I still have trouble getting to the gym to lift.

 

Also, shouts out to Essay for the entourage ref. been so long since I've seen that show. We used to get drunk and come home and watch it while raiding the leftover fridge. Ahh, college.

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Also, shouts out to Essay for the entourage ref. been so long since I've seen that show. We used to get drunk and come home and watch it while raiding the leftover fridge. Ahh, college.

 

i've seen it so many times i can can reference it without even thinking about it. that was a subconscious reference. val kilmer killed it in that episode as the sherpa.

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i had heard something about that promotion and i'd like to tell you that i'll fight the good fight, and mcdonalds will let me be, but my eating habits are no fairy tale world.

 

two big macs might put me in a coma though, so i need to try harder than usual to fight the demons off.

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I was gonna make the never drunk joke as well. Something about floating a keg

 

You like Alton? His voice or campy delivery puts me off for some reason. I watch The Next Iron Chef with him as host. Meh

 

 

 

She can come over and I'm show her how I whip up a batch of jizz. Huh?

 

I just really enjoyed good eats. The approach was great for someone who doesn't like to follow recipes verbatim because the show gave you the why's and wherefore's of cooking a dish.

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cousin just gave me some deer meat (the one that he called me about on saturday morning). pretty excited about that. tasted a piece when I was over there this evening and it was daaaamn good. got two hind quarters I'll make jerky out of, a roast I'll probably do some kind of stew with, and a whole damn tenderloin that will go directly on the grill.

 

 

or maybe I'll cook it all over a campfire and pretend I'm hiding from zombies. that would be AWESOME.

 

 

 

 

strat you need to lift weights. hell at least do some push ups.

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That's a good call actually. The push-ups I mean. The rest proves why you're a lonely hillbilly. I enjoyed it though, if that helps.

 

 

Strat, set up a workout of push-ups, sit-ups, and body weight squats. You do enough of those in a properly regimented workout and you'll be good as gold.

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Man, Shake, you got me wanting to go kill my first deer. A bunch of my friends have been posting their latest kills on facebook and that also has me wanting to kill a deer. So much good meat. Problem is I don't have anywhere to store it, or the patience to scope out spots and then sit in a tree forever. Or anywhere really near here to hunt. Unless you count the open lot across the street. Tons of deer there. A good looking buck, too. Damn.

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I don't get hunting. It should, be called Ambushing.

 

I get that people hunt for food. Well, some do. I get that I'm a sissy liberal puss. I get the hypocrisy of eating meat and chicken yet still judging Ambushers. I'm gonna run with Ambushers. No more hunters, if you're sitting in a tree waiting for a hungry or thirsty animal to cross your path in THEIR natural habitat to take a shot, you don't deserve to be called a hunter. Call me when you win the game they played in the classic Ice-T movie Surviving the Game. That's hunting. Also, give the hunted a weapon. Then I'll give you your due.

 

Again, I realize I'm the pansy in this situation. I just fail to see the sport in it.

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The sport is that you have to spend hours and hours and nights and nights scouting locations and gametrails and shit. You can't just arbitrarily pick a tree and expect a deer to walk by at some point. My roommate does a lot of waterfowl hunting and he's been out every night for an hour or two looking over ponds, scouting where the ducks/geese sleep at night, figuring out how they usually approach the water, and then he'll take his boat out at midnight and sleep on the lake. That parts more to be the first at the pond, but still. Would you prefer that deer are raised on a leash or in a cage their entire life as opposed to letting them run free in their natural habitat and taking them down with one quick shot? (admittedly that can vary). Seems a lot more humane than keeping chickens in a crowded pen or cows in a shitty feed lot to me. Not that I have a problem doing that either. Besides, hunting deer plays a huge role in controlling the herd sizes so they're not running amock and into peoples cars with more frequency than they already do here. Saw somebody on the way to work almost get blindsided by a deer and my commute is 100% through residential areas.

 

Not to mention, you can do all that scouting and preparing and still come away empty handed. It takes a ton of time and effort to deer hunt effectively, which is why I don't do it.

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So, he's trying to find where they sleep so he can blow their heads off?

 

You do make a solid point about the population control. And I did say that I'm a hypocrite for eating cows and chickens. The time spent, I couldn't care less. If that's their hobby, then spend the time. Not all hunters do that though, I don't think.

 

I just couldn't kill something and find it fun. You were raised around a farm with animals as food, not pets. I've only seen animals as pets. I get creeped out when a 3 inch lizard jumped on me the other day when I opened the back yard gate. I'm a sissy.

 

But I would also never tell anyone not to do it, if its legal and in season. I just wouldn't want to do it. I seriously could probably muster up the energy to shoot people that are awful (not if they were begging for their life, that might make me soften up) but people that abuse animals horribly, like the things you'll hear on the news about local teens cutting off the paws of a cat or dumping s bag full of puppies out of a moving car. Those people I could put a bullet right in their head, go have a nice meal and sleep like a baby. I really believe that. Whether that's true, I don't know, but that type of shit enrages me. Much easier than killing some deer that is just living. For me.

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No, finds where they sleep so he can have an idea of where they migrate to. They don't always stay in the same spot. And tbh, I don't know if it's legal to shoot them while they are on water. Think they might have to be in the air. And of course, not all hunters do that, some "hunters" drive around in their trucks waiting to see one from the road and point a gun out their cab, but that's not the norm.

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I used to do push-ups and sit-ups at the outset of this thing. just kind of quit over time. it feels pretty great to randomly do push-ups so I do it from time to time. not sure what a reasonable sesh would be.

 

hundredpushups.com

 

I posted this for you before, but you ignored it like a real piece of work.

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So, he's trying to find where they sleep so he can blow their heads off?

 

You do make a solid point about the population control. And I did say that I'm a hypocrite for eating cows and chickens. The time spent, I couldn't care less. If that's their hobby, then spend the time. Not all hunters do that though, I don't think.

 

I just couldn't kill something and find it fun. You were raised around a farm with animals as food, not pets. I've only seen animals as pets. I get creeped out when a 3 inch lizard jumped on me the other day when I opened the back yard gate. I'm a sissy.

 

But I would also never tell anyone not to do it, if its legal and in season. I just wouldn't want to do it. I seriously could probably muster up the energy to shoot people that are awful (not if they were begging for their life, that might make me soften up) but people that abuse animals horribly, like the things you'll hear on the news about local teens cutting off the paws of a cat or dumping s bag full of puppies out of a moving car. Those people I could put a bullet right in their head, go have a nice meal and sleep like a baby. I really believe that. Whether that's true, I don't know, but that type of shit enrages me. Much easier than killing some deer that is just living. For me.

 

Here are my unsolicited views on hunting. If it's a true game animal, meaning primarily in the norm of edible animals (deer, ducks, quail etc), have at it. Just be smart about and don't rejoice when you make a shitty shot that causes the animal to suffer for a prolonged period before you final kill it. If you make a shot like that you should feel appropriately ashamed and show some respect. If you're hunting just for trophy, especially an animal that isn't exactly thriving in the wild (elephant, some species of bears etc) then you're just an ******* that is overcompensating for something.

 

No, finds where they sleep so he can have an idea of where they migrate to. They don't always stay in the same spot. And tbh, I don't know if it's legal to shoot them while they are on water. Think they might have to be in the air. And of course, not all hunters do that, some "hunters" drive around in their trucks waiting to see one from the road and point a gun out their cab, but that's not the norm.

 

Last I remember, can only shoot birds on the wing. Shooting on the ground or out of a vehicle is poaching.

 

Well, maybe I'll go someday. I do look FANTASTIC in orange.

 

I have a mental image of you in an orange safety fest, hot pink polo, plaid shorts, ray bans, and an elmer fudd type hat that is too warm for, also there are a plethora of empty beer cans at your feet. don't quite know where that came from.

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I don't get hunting. It should, be called Ambushing.

 

I get that people hunt for food. Well, some do. I get that I'm a sissy liberal puss. I get the hypocrisy of eating meat and chicken yet still judging Ambushers. I'm gonna run with Ambushers. No more hunters, if you're sitting in a tree waiting for a hungry or thirsty animal to cross your path in THEIR natural habitat to take a shot, you don't deserve to be called a hunter. Call me when you win the game they played in the classic Ice-T movie Surviving the Game. That's hunting. Also, give the hunted a weapon. Then I'll give you your due.

 

Again, I realize I'm the pansy in this situation. I just fail to see the sport in it.

 

No offense but really, spoken like someone that's never hunted before.

 

Well, maybe I'll go someday. I do look FANTASTIC in orange.

 

How about camo?

 

 

Last I remember, can only shoot birds on the wing.

 

I can't speak for every state but the 3 I've hunted in ducks sitting on the water are fair game, though most hunters will whistle or something to flush them first.

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I have a mental image of you in an orange safety fest, hot pink polo, plaid shorts, ray bans, and an elmer fudd type hat that is too warm for, also there are a plethora of empty beer cans at your feet. don't quite know where that came from.

 

I never drink from cans. Silly goose

 

I'm like everything you wrote about hunting. I'm fine with that

 

 

 

No offense but really, spoken like someone that's never hunted before.

 

 

 

How about camo?

 

Why would I be offended? I made it clear that I've never hunted. That being said, it doesn't make me wrong. I'm talking about me, my opinions and my feelings. Never once did I suggest that it become illegal.

 

Camo is for closeted fags overcompensating.

 

 

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hundredpushups.com

 

I posted this for you before, but you ignored it like a real piece of work.

I tried it. my progression was so slow, got crazy sore... I think you have to be on a normal diet for that to work. I don't know. I might try it again.

 

my house sits on 16 acres with some woods and a creek in the back. we welcome any hunters that want to set up on our property. there's even a guy that sets up a feeding station like a huge cheater. no one cares, the deer eat flowers and destroy cars and are no longer threatened population-wise. it's many kinds of win.

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cousin just gave me some deer meat (the one that he called me about on saturday morning). pretty excited about that. tasted a piece when I was over there this evening and it was daaaamn good. got two hind quarters I'll make jerky out of, a roast I'll probably do some kind of stew with, and a whole damn tenderloin that will go directly on the grill.

 

 

or maybe I'll cook it all over a campfire and pretend I'm hiding from zombies. that would be AWESOME.

 

 

 

 

Cut it up in two bite pieces, dip it in fresh bacon grease....olive oil at least, roll it in flour, and fry it up in a cast iron skillet....

 

 

 

 

.....if you're sitting in a tree waiting for a hungry or thirsty animal to cross your path in THEIR natural habitat to take a shot, you don't deserve to be called a hunter.

 

 

I just fail to see the sport in it.

 

 

 

 

So youre saying that we should shoot them inside a zoo after feeding time?

 

 

 

 

Camo is for closeted fags overcompensating.

 

 

 

 

(glances down at my camo shorts)

 

 

 

You still love me?

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