I Called In Sick Today

[brvheart 1,752]

100% on my Entrepreneurship 474 final on Friday. (My 50 page business plan was to open a Dairy Queen. The prof thought that it was excellent and that I should consider actually opening a DQ.)Summer classes over.4.0TWO (and a half) MORE SEMESTERS TO GO!

[Theraflu 1,035]

100% on my Entrepreneurship 474 final on Friday. (My 50 page business plan was to open a Dairy Queen. The prof thought that it was excellent and that I should consider actually opening a DQ.)Summer classes over.4.0TWO (and a half) MORE SEMESTERS TO GO!

Way to challenge yourself.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

11 User(s) are reading this topic (9 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)2 Members: RhinestoneCowboy, Tactical BearI am going to be that guy. Did you hedge?

[El Guapo 8]

Speedz. You will be happy to know if the midst of 4 hours of preparing personal financial statements to get over to my Mortgage Broker and almost having 3 full breakdowns (Jubi can confirm this) your story put a smile on my face. This is saying something, because I was on the verge of tears about 30 minutes ago. <--- not exaggerating.

[speedz99 145]

Glad to be of service.

[Southern Buddhist 1]

So I know I would be pounded into atoms, but I really wanna walk up to this guy, gesture casually at the tattoo, and say, "So, is that the dick you swallowed?"Yeah, I'm alive, barely. My summer session is first-year grad, and a "boot camp" in learning how to teach first-year comp to freshpeople. Tons of reading, and one forgets how strangely exhausting academia is (especially academia in Florida in July).[Edit: nothing against him, just a silly tat for a guy]

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

Which one? It sounded familiar when I read it, but I couldn't place it and I guess I'm not good enough at googling to figure it out.

Boston Med.

I have my limit. And that limit, apparently, is rape.

I liked that.

[Tactical Bear 3]

so I gave her about fifteen seconds to pass out, did the arm test (three times lifting it and letting go to make sure she was out cold), and headed back downstairs to continue drinking. Thankfully, while downstairs I was informed that this story didn't really surprise any of her friends, as she has a history of trying to hook up with guys but passing out instead. At least it wasn't just me.

Wonderful. So I just got blown off by Jo. Again. I think.

[Sickinfo2 291]

(fifteen minutes after landing at NLV)(phone rings)"Yeah?""Hey... how bout driving a thirty two roadster to LA for me?""Uh...""Its got a blown LS... dynoed at nine fifty""OK"So after spending a couple days relaxing at the twenty one tables, the bag and I headed across the desert this morning around nine. After a quick four hour stop at Primm, where the dice are still butter in ole Beans hands, I have a new life experience to add to the memoirs...Heres a few observations for those of you seriously pondering the same trip in the future...A roadster without a top works well in its intended environment. One hundred and twelve degree climates is not one of themThe info bastards at the "produce" border stop should all rot in hell. Well, making them sit in a melting interior with a wife who is griping at a sustained sixty miles per hour with gusts up to ninety at the very leastThe shock of leaving those adverse conditions to todays LA temps of sixty three or so in a short few minutes can make you sick. Of living. I can loan the aforementioned wife as evidence for those of you in doubtEating an In-n-Out burger at my favorite location....LAX for those of you taking notes.... while freezing in shorts and a t-shirt just isnt as much fun as it sounds like. Refer back to the above for the reason. I did spy an A three eighty, though. At least I think it was.... I couldnt really tell due to the shivering and gripe gustsIn other news, Shane and I will be jumping off the Stratosphere tower sometime late week....I may refuse the harness

[CardWarfare 4]

Putting on what seemed like was her sexiest face, she muttered, "I didn't wash my hands," and promptly did a swan dive onto the bed.

I wonder, even in a wasted mind, what is that supposed to mean? "I might have some piss on my hand, wanna smell?""My hand was just relatively close to my vagina in a way that would make most men uncomfortable/disgusted" ?"I'm dirty. Not in bed, but in regards to my personal hygiene."?"I don't trust water"?"I didn't wash my hands which means I don't live by society's rules"?

[LadyGrey 6]

So I just got blown off by Jo. Again. I think.

Don't be a tease, tell the story.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

So I just got blown off by Jo.

In the good way, or the bad way.

[brvheart 1,752]

Way to challenge yourself.

I have 5 kids and go to school full time. I have enough challenges, thank you very much. (Plus, I didn't write a plan before I bought my store, so it wasn't like sitting in the drawer or something.)

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I hope Joey doesn't see this. If so, I smell another list!

That sort of list is beyond my capabilities.

You've got to bring her to a church social. You know, out-god her.

Heh.

I guess I'll just tell the story.

Good story. Congrats/sorry.

[Voldemort 0]

Wang: "I will punch you in the mouth."

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=125_1278523511

[CaneBrain 95]

Speedz, you get a D- for managing your hook-up's alcohol intake. Take control and dont let her get too drunk! She will respect your forcefulness and your desire to look out for her well-being.

[Voldemort 0]

Just got back from a wedding weekend. Hooked up with the maid of honor, which allows me to cross something off my lifetime "to do list", but only sort of, since there was no actual sex. I guess I'll just tell the story.So the maid of honor, we'll call her "Mary", was around my age and seemed like a good prospect from the beginning. Great body, acceptable-to-cute face, and no personality whatsoever. It was like talking to a wall, if walls were capable of nodding and giving blank stares. The good and bad news for the weekend was that she seems to have a poorly hidden alcohol problem. Friday night was the rehearsal dinner, after which all of the friends adjourned to the hotel bar. Mary was obviously very drunk before leaving the dinner venue, to the point of slightly slurred speech and the occasional stumble. Perfect. Unfortunately, she continued to drink heavily at the hotel bar, and by around 1am was, well, sleeping with her head on the bar. By sleeping I mean stone cold passed out. And by the bar, I actually mean the bar...she didn't even bother to put her arms down to shield her face from the spilled yuengling and pretzel crumbs. Less than perfect. At some point I took a quick walk to find a friend, and while I was gone she apparently jerked back to life, lifted her head, looked around, and asked (nobody in particular), "Where'd he go?" Then she stumbled to the elevator and went to bed. I decided that it was better that way, since it's better to fail to satisfy a woman on the second of your two nights together. I didn't need the wedding to be too awkward.Saturday was fairly normal...nice wedding, fun party, etcetera. For the last half hour of the party I was dancing with Mary, or at least holding her up while she attempted to sway from side to side. At this point everyone was aware of what was going on between myself and Mary, so I was getting a lot of interested (and interesting) looks from the many friends of my parents who were in the crowd. The men were proud, the women were amused. On our way out, the bride asked me to bring a few centerpieces back to the hotel for the next day's brunch, so for the next phase of our story I was holding two vases with a dozen purple flowers.We got back to the hotel, and Mary whispered to me, "Let's go up to my room so I can change." Oh, I should mention that, in reading any of Mary's quotes, you need to do it in heavily slurred speech. So I'm getting excited, and we hop on the elevator. When we entered her room, I was very surprised to see 35-ish woman who has obviously just changed into her pajamas and was ready to get in bed. Mary stopped short, and I could see the wheels turning. "Oh, yeah, this is...my roommate, she went to law school with [the bride] and is my roommate tonight. I'll... ... ...just go to the bathroom." So now I'm standing in a hotel room, flowers in each hand, with a person I've never met, who obviously knows what's happening in front of her face. Speedz: You're a lawyer?Roommate: Yeah.Speedz: What kind of law do you practice?Roommate: I'm out of work.Speedz: Ah.Roommate: ...Speedz: You can tell Mary that I'll meet her at the elevators.So Mary and I went back downstairs. We sat down with some friends, and after a few minutes I asked her if she wanted to go up to my room, which she did. We get to the same cursed elevators again, and I realize that a group of about eight of my parents' friends is sitting in the lobby, staring at us. I hit the button, the door opened, and I did the "slowly back away" move, keeping strong eye contact with the group as the doors closed in front of us. I'm looking forward to my mother's comments on the affair. Oh, I forgot to mention that, at the very end of the reception (at around midnight), Mary was trying her best to get me naked...first taking off my vest, then unbuttoning my shirt, until I stopped her and said that we should hold off for a few more minutes. Yes, the parents' friends saw that as well.Finally, finally, we got up to my room. She fell onto the bed, and in the 35 seconds it took me to find and situate the "Do Not Disturb" sign outside the door, passed out. I got out of my tux, got in bed, and gently (as possible), woke her up. We did some stuff for a while, but the whole time I was forced to keep her awake by utilizing various methods which do not need mentioning. As her eyes continued to roll back into her head, I stopped, shook her a bit, and asked her if she was going to be ok or just wanted to go to sleep. I have my limit. And that limit, apparently, is rape. She excused herself to the bathroom.When she returned, she stopped in front of the bed and swayed a bit. Putting on what seemed like was her sexiest face, she muttered, "I didn't wash my hands," and promptly did a swan dive onto the bed. Sadly, it was very dark in the room, and she overestimated the dimensions of the bed. She landed about halfway on me and the bed, and immediately careened off towards the floor. Using my catlike reflexes, I shot my arm out to try and shield her from serious injury...but all I was able to do was get my hand under her face. So there I was, holding her torso up by the face, with her legs having just crashed to the floor. I reached down with my other arm to grab her, and tossed her back onto the bed. At this point sexual relations were out of the question, so I gave her about fifteen seconds to pass out, did the arm test (three times lifting it and letting go to make sure she was out cold), and headed back downstairs to continue drinking. Thankfully, while downstairs I was informed that this story didn't really surprise any of her friends, as she has a history of trying to hook up with guys but passing out instead. At least it wasn't just me.The EndGo to the zoo.

Great story.

[Voldemort 0]

This is fantastic!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9MnF3BMCmYI like to picture this as a young JJJ.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I like to picture this as a young JJJ.

???

[Voldemort 0]

???

Suave/DapperJust how I see you IRL.

[speedz99 145]

I wonder, even in a wasted mind, what is that supposed to mean?

I'm still not sure, and I didn't have a chance to ponder it in context at the time because before the line could be processed I was already dealing with her bed mishap.

Speedz, you get a D- for managing your hook-up's alcohol intake. Take control and dont let her get too drunk! She will respect your forcefulness and your desire to look out for her well-being.

1. I wasn't going to follow her around during the wedding reception to pull drinks out of her hand.2. I'm not in the business of decreasing a woman's alcohol intake if I'm going to try and hook up with her for the first time that night. If I was in that line of business, I'd still be a virgin. What?

[JoeyJoJo 18]

2. I'm not in the business of decreasing a woman's alcohol intake if I'm going to try and hook up with her for the first time that night. If I was in that line of business, I'd still be a virgin. What?

Certainly you don't want to decrease alcohol intake, you just want to make sure it doesn't tip.Something like this:

[Tactical Bear 3]

Certainly you don't want to decrease alcohol intake, you just want to make sure it doesn't tip.Something like this:

I have been thinking about this for almost an hour now. I believe you need to make a few changes:1) The vertical axis has to be renamed. Not everyone draws the line where Speedz does. 2) In my experience, the marginal impact of the first drink is significantly higher than that of any other drink consumed during the course of the night. For many women, especially those who don't have a perfectly healthy relationship with sex, the perception of intoxication is liberating. Just the act of having a drink frees many women from the judgment -- their own as well as their peers' -- that lurks in the shadows of semi-anonymous sex. 3) There is a plateau effect. The difference between "perfectly drunk" and "not quite perfectly drunk" isn't as large and severe a gap as your graph implies. There's really not that much difference, I don't think, between (and I'm making numbers up here, as I don't know how much women can drink, my perceptions muddled by my history as a guy who used to drink a pint of vodka for breakfast, as well as a lack of understanding of female tolerance levels in general) 7 drinks and 9.5 drinks.You know what I should really do for a living? Teach. I think I'd be a good teacher. Can anybody see that? Or am I retarded?

[Tactical Bear 3]

Don't be a tease, tell the story.

Okay. I need your input as well, because you are female. On Saturday night, I got her number and we made, very quickly, plans for Monday night. Dinner, drinks, whatever. I'll call you Monday afternoon.Here:Wang (via text at 3AM, about an hour after getting her number): Hey Jo. This is Wang. You're probably asleep -- if so: whoops -- but I figured you should have my number, just in case you want to screen your calls, Monday. Jo (via text, Sunday afternoon at 130 PM): good afternoon! so i forgot that i am going to grand rapids tonight and not coming back till tomorrow night. i have a bunch of stuff at my friends apt. so i am moving everything to my house and i dont know what time i will be back. it escaped my mind last night. i probably cant go out tomorrow night but i hope we can rescheduleThoughts?

[JoeyJoJo 18]

2) In my experience, the marginal impact of the first drink is significantly higher than that of any other drink consumed during the course of the night. For many women, especially those who don't have a perfectly healthy relationship with sex, the perception of intoxication is liberating. Just the act of having a drink frees many women from the judgment -- their own as well as their peers' -- that lurks in the shadows of semi-anonymous sex. 3) There is a plateau effect. The difference between "perfectly drunk" and "not quite perfectly drunk" isn't as large and severe a gap as your graph implies. There's really not that much difference, I don't think, between (and I'm making numbers up here, as I don't know how much women can drink, my perceptions muddled by my history as a guy who used to drink a pint of vodka for breakfast, as well as a lack of understanding of female tolerance levels in general) 7 drinks and 9.5 drinks.

I almost didn't post it because I didn't want my inexperience in getting women drunk and then having sex with them to be too apparent. But...my limited experience would make me agree with 3, but unsure about 2. There should be a plateau, but I do think the drop-off is severe, which was the main point of the graph. The women I was thinking about in regards to 2 was more of someone who...well, someone who isn't unfamiliar with drinking.

Thoughts?

I don't think there's a hidden meaning.