I Called In Sick Today

[leftygolfer 7]

I live my life a quarter mile at a time Strat

What are you a horse?

The whole SNL episode was pretty solid. Also, Sal. Kelly Pickler ABC at 8et.

I think Ellen wishes she was wearing a strap on the way she hugged her.

Its like a sal roast in here todayHey, theres an idea...An off topic roast of a different member each month, starting with the army thread, of course. Sexual humor is the best

Beans as Foster Brooks ...TBear - good thing it wasn't the final table of the WSOP.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I think I'm in love.

It's a little interesting that this seems to be the normal reaction to this video clip, but if it was a guy doing that he would be getting lambasted all over the internets. I say just a "little" interesting because the reason is pretty obvious. Also, the BYU chick started it by throwing a wimpy elbow.

MDG- I've responded at length in the Phil Ivey/Contrarianism thread. I have some Steven Levitt for your black ass.

Ooh, I can't wait to go read this.

SAL, CBS AT 9PM. GREAT MMA CARDALSO, FREE CARD NEXT SATURDAY ON SPIKE, UFC 105

Sally, Kelly Pickler is co-hosting Extreme home Makeover tomorrow night on some station. ABC, maybe? It's another one of the more common stations.

The Sick Thread: Sal's Personal TV Guide

But that was the worst story ever told, or perhaps the worst telling of any decent story. How about a little effort next time.

I know, right?

and speedz, when have I ever told a long detailed story about something?

But he makes a good point, speedz. He still hasn't told his hot tub threesome story.

An off topic roast of a different member each month, starting with the army thread, of course. Sexual humor is the best

Count me in.

[loogie 115]

I'm sick...the swine, the french swine...something has got me. Last night, I was feeling feverish, and I actually wished I had a thermometer, so I could tell if I was at brain damage level. So, I take it back, LG. Thermometers hold purpose, after all.I went to bed at 8:30 last night and attempted to sweat it out with some heavy blankets. I finally fell out of bed at 9:30 this morning dripping wet. My eyeballs are sore and my beard hurts and I'm hoping that Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are a remedy, because that's all I have the energy to eat.This was typed from my empty bathtub.

[speedz99 145]

oh, and speedz: it really is pretty ridiculous. think I got obsessed with scrubs like this too. maybe it's the not having any other tv to desensitize me during the breaks in my viewings. somebody wanna pay for my cable to help me be less weird?

I'll ship you $1 on stars or bodog to get you on your way if you TELL A DAMN STORY.

Hand 1: He raises to 3x coming in, and I look down at KK. I 3-bet, he ships, I call. He has AA and I fail to improve.Hand 2: I find QQ, and raise to 2.5x. He ships. He has AA and I fail to improve.Hand 3: I'm now an 80-20 dog in chips. He brings it in with a jambo. I call with AQ. He turns over QQ and I fail to improve.

I know we don't really talk poker around here, and I barely pay attention to what's going on in the pro circuit...but did anyone see the beats being put down by that Moon guy at the final table? I read a synopsis, and the dude is running hotter than a something on something. Maybe right now he's the luckiest man alive.

[speedz99 145]

I'm sick...the swine, the french swine...something has got me. Last night, I was feeling feverish, and I actually wished I had a thermometer, so I could tell if I was at brain damage level. So, I take it back, LG. Thermometers hold purpose, after all.I went to bed at 8:30 last night and attempted to sweat it out with some heavy blankets. I finally fell out of bed at 9:30 this morning dripping wet. My eyeballs are sore and my beard hurts and I'm hoping that Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are a remedy, because that's all I have the energy to eat.This was typed from my empty bathtub.

Sorry buddy...at least you made me laugh with your beard comment. Right? Doesn't that make you feel better? Now go get some gatorade, stat.So I got a B on my anatomy exam, which means that there's a good chance I won't fail out of school. Next up in one week is the hardest exam I've ever taken and perhaps ever will take (aside from the boards)...it's in a class that I've already had three exams for.Exam 1: 73%Exam 2: 68%Exam 3: 67%The final exam is worth 40% of the grade, so basically I need to get a 72 for a C or a 62 to pass with a mid-D. This isn't at all in the bag, considering the fact that it's worth 40% because it's on almost twice as much material as any of the first three exams. The next week of my life is going to be awful. Just thought you all should know.No, being an idiot in this class doesn't mean I'll be a bad vet. It's physiological chemistry...most vet schools don't even have it. SO DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO BE A BAD VET, OK?

[JoeyJoJo 18]

No, being an idiot in this class doesn't mean I'll be a bad vet. It's physiological chemistry...most vet schools don't even have it. SO DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO BE A BAD VET, OK?

Someday you'll get a dog brought to you, a dog that's been to countless vets throughout the country, and nobody can figure out what's wrong with him because it's some sort of, um, physiologically chemical, um, problem, but you'll know what to do because you spent just a few more hours studying and you'll save that dog and that dog will love you.p.s. Don't take away from FCP time with those extra study hours. Remove something trivial, like eating or sleeping.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I'll ship you $1 on stars or bodog to get you on your way if you TELL A DAMN STORY.

I thought I have been telling stories. I must be pretty bad at it huh.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

SO DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO BE A BAD VET, OK?

I'm pretty sure that was never a worry, since as you know, we're all sure you're going to do fine.

[brvheart 1,752]

Well. I sold my DQ today. I'm pretty sad about it. This place has been my home for a lot of hours over the last several years. It's almost like losing a child... except that someone paid me 4x what I bought him for. DQ: Dad, don't leave me! DQ: Before you bought me I was a drain on my owners and now I'm making money and being a good boy.brv: I'll never leave you son, I love you.Guy enters stage left...Guy: I'll buy your DQ from you for way more than you paid.brv: [glances at son]Chin up, buddy, you'll be fine. [Exits stage left with money bags][Tobias voice]aaaaand scene[/Tobias]

[vbnautilus 48]

Well. I sold my DQ today. I'm pretty sad about it. This place has been my home for a lot of hours over the last several years. It's almost like losing a child... except that someone paid me 4x what I bought him for. DQ: Dad, don't leave me! DQ: Before you bought me I was a drain on my owners and now I'm making money and being a good boy.brv: I'll never leave you son, I love you.Guy enters stage left...Guy: I'll buy your DQ from you for way more than you paid.brv: [glances at son]Chin up, buddy, you'll be fine. [Exits stage left with money bags][Tobias voice]aaaaand scene[/Tobias]

Truly the end of an era. What are you going to do with the money, buy 4 Dairy Queens?

[Tactical Bear 3]

More Poker FunSo I'd just finished with that tournament -- I've got a few stakehorses, so I like to check up on them from time to time -- and I had about 900 burning a hole in my pocket. There was a 1/2 game going with some really deep stacks, including a few players I know to be good, who also know I am not horrible. I asked the floor what the max buy was, and he said he was letting people buy in for 250BB, so I buy in for 500I post my big, and have to fold because my phone rings.I post my small, and a bad deep player opens for 15 UTG. One random call, and a good player with about 300 in front of him calls, then immediately realizes his mistake ("Oh, dammit I shouldn't have done that"), since the guy in late position is pretty good and is almost always going to squeeze there with a playable hand. Sure enough, he 3-bets from the cutoff to 70 with at least 500 behind. Button folds.I look down at the Ah and ship for 500.Sometimes I love playing poker.

[brvheart 1,752]

Truly the end of an era. What are you going to do with the money, buy 4 Dairy Queens?

As soon as I finalize the sale of a couple duplexes I have in Des Moines, we'll probably start our moving/job hunting process in the Chicago area. I'm going to Iowa State in the Spring, but we will probably move out there in May.

[LadyGrey 6]

This isn't directed at anyone in particular, but gosh I hate when people talk poker in this thread.

[loogie 115]

I want to own things and sell them.

[LadyGrey 6]

I want to own things and sell them.

I'll give you $11 for this toothpick:It has to be that exact one. I will test it.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

$12!

[Sal Paradise 57]

$8!

[brvheart 1,752]

You guys are doing it wrong.

[loogie 115]

It has to be that exact one. I will test it.

Litmus? I think I could sneak a fake one past a litmus test.

[LadyGrey 6]

Litmus? I think I could sneak a fake one past a litmus test.

First there would be a DNA test to ascertain that the toothpick had been used by you. Then, to ensure it is the exact same one from the picture I would interrogate the toothpick, alternating between 'good cop' and 'bad cop' whilst analysing the results of a polygraph test to ensure it's confessions are veracious.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I put this in the baseball thread, but it deserves to be here... Sammy Sosa.. WTF?~!?!?

wow, he looks so much smarter!

:guiltylaughface:

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I've changed my mind about the loogie toothpick.However, if someone had in their possession a mint condition Dusty Baker toothpick that they are willing to sell, I might be interested.

[El Guapo 8]

I've changed my mind about the loogie toothpick.However, if someone had in their possession a mint condition Dusty Baker toothpick that they are willing to sell, I might be interested.

Mint condition, or one conditioned with mint. I just want to be clear before I start digging through my drawer of toothpicks.

[speedz99 145]

Someday you'll get a dog brought to you, a dog that's been to countless vets throughout the country, and nobody can figure out what's wrong with him because it's some sort of, um, physiologically chemical, um, problem, but you'll know what to do because you spent just a few more hours studying and you'll save that dog and that dog will love you

That's what I tell myself. I was studying for my developmental anatomy exam last night while there were a few episodes of House on in the background, and all of a sudden I heard them mention a disease I happened to be studying at that moment, which apparently was the big solution to the medical mystery (after they'd ruled out amyloidosis and lupos). You'd think that would be kind of cool, but it was more depressing since I can't get away from studying even when watching tv.

p.s. Don't take away from FCP time with those extra study hours. Remove something trivial, like eating or sleeping.

Done. I've gotten 4-6 most days of the last month.

I thought I have been telling stories. I must be pretty bad at it huh.

You don't tell stories, you tell us things that happened to you.

I'm pretty sure that was never a worry, since as you know, we're all sure you're going to do fine.

Sir, I have no idea who you are or how you know me, but thank you.

Well. I sold my DQ today. I'm pretty sad about it. This place has been my home for a lot of hours over the last several years. It's almost like losing a child... except that someone paid me 4x what I bought him for.

Congrats.

:guiltylaughface:

That's faaaaaaantastic.

[Randy Reed 0]

Funny stuff catching up. I don't have much to add and lost my quotes which weren't funny or adding anything anyway.I always feel that once i've started a reply I ought to be able to come up with something though and the only thing somewhat interesting going on is the fact I bought a $125 pair of brown leather shoes with toes.