I Called In Sick Today

[strategy 4]

For some reason, I thought you were Shake for a minute.

we are more and more the same person lately, it seems.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Another computer lab girl? Can I get a google map of that magical group of machines where attractive women enjoy talking to guys like us?As always, I feel you. I typically wait until the last possible moment to ask a girl out...right before she's completely written me off as either gay or close enough to it not to be worth spending any more time with. The scary thing is that I feel like some girls would say no if I got aggressive too early, but after realizing that I may not be interested all of a sudden can't wait for me to make a move.Whatever. I just end up getting sick of them after a few hours of alone-time anyways.

Yeah, for some reason the computer lab is like the bar for me: girls are desperate and looking to score. I'm probably more comfortable in a relaxed, academic setting -- where no woman expects a pickup line -- than a relaxed, social setting -- where women are, you know, judging me and shit. I like no expectations. Or, better yet, supremely low expectations. Or, best: blind.

I less than three you too, Derek.However, for this, I less than six you, Derek.Yeah, yeah, fix my punctuation.

I don't understand any of these comments, except the last

[Painter567 0]

I just got back from the grocery store. when I sat down, a little gust from the window blew one of the plastic bags along the floor and into my view. scared me shitless... I was thinking the kittens were back!

First thing that popped into my head.http://youtube.com/watch?v=UDXjnW3nIWg

[Painter567 0]

YOu probably shouldn't watch this then.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDXjnW3nIWg...feature=related

Goddamnit-turdfergusonYa, I'm old like you.

[silkyjonson 1]

So was she actually from Idaho or was it more of a statement of her promiscuity?

[speedz99 145]

I have something that's 60% downloaded on utorrent...is there a way to get it to start playing? I've tried hitting the green play button on the top of the utorrent window...nothing's happening. This is why I hate torrents.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

I have something that's 60% downloaded on utorrent...is there a way to get it to start playing? I've tried hitting the green play button on the top of the utorrent window...nothing's happening. This is why I hate torrents.

Can't watch the porn until its fully downloaded...

[mln_falcon 0]

Screw the magic bullet...https://www.buykinoki.com/ver2/index.asp?di...amp;refcode=GEN

Is it wrong that I wanted to order now?

I hate people, too, JJJ; I think we are very similar in our regard/disregard for humanity. My hatred of people, when I was much younger, used to make me unhappy, until I came to a stunning conclusion:I would be much more unhappy if I liked people. Much of my happiness is derived from stepping back from my own life, and simply examining the behavior of other people and myself. Most people do horrible things all the time, and are retarded. I am often retarded. But, for me, that's part of the joy of life. People do the most irrational, horrible, ridiculous things, and keeping that in mind gives me ample opportunity to, you know, just not give a fuck about nothin'.My life would be very unenjoyable if everyone behaved in a way that made my life easiest. Where would the entertainment come from? My attitude on life -- "I don't care about anything, including how bad these puns and jokes are" -- works as a screening process. If somebody doesn't enjoy the things my friends and I enjoy about life -- making fun of ourselves and others, taking ourselves none-too-seriously, finding joy in misery -- then I hate that person 95+% of the time. And, therefore, there is no reason to care.Wang

"profound"

Check out the punctuation on this guy!I almost don't want to leave for golf...the thread today seems like it may be a-rockin'. And yet, here I go (again on my own).

I kinda want to play golf now. And go horse riding, I've wanted to go horse riding for ages.

Cliff Notes for all the Americans

Bugger

Your heart is as something as a something.Thanks for stealing my thunder.:stanleynickelevenifIdon'tfullyunderstandit:

How was golfing?

hump

Awesome word, needs to be used more.

is this your way of coming out?DAMN IT! nope, mower still broke. still gonna be broke for a while. but my cousin is gonna mow my grass for me one time in the meantime because he's a nice guy, but mainly I think its because he just got a Dixie Chopper and I think he wants to try it out on my field. I don't have a problem with it.

Wait you have a field? How do you not have a house?

So why is it so crazy that I don't know someone's real life name?

Even I know, that's pretty weak.I'm now officially a dole bludger, it's great. Dole is Australian for welfare or whatever. Youtube vids for cat lovershttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONmhQJy1ViA...feature=related

random youtubes from a friendhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOvIot-i6rY...feature=related%20" target="_blank">

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikmd-0Is0dM...feature=related%20" target="_blank"> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikmd-0Is0dM...feature=related

[speedz99 145]

How was golfing?

Strange. In nine holes, I parred the three toughest on the course and triple bogeyed the easiest two. But it was beautiful out, so all was good.

[mln_falcon 0]

This is a related link but deserved a post of its ownhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs&NR=1%20" target="_blank">

[KDawgCometh 2]

Speaking of bringing back memories you repressed, you DID defend Cindy and her contention that she was somehow a victim in all of that.

I didn't really defend cindy, I just said that Alan did things a bit wrong, there is a difference. Mike did go back and retract what he said about me when he actually bothered to read what I wrote

[Ouch-8s 4]

crap, i see i didn't quote anything. great catchup. wangbear, our relationship grows more incestous by the minute.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

[KDawgCometh 2]

When he looked at me I gave him the finger. I didn't plan it, and really have no idea where that reaction came from (I hate kids, but I'm typically not that ridiculous). Needless to say, my family was slightly more mortified than amused.

i read this as him giving you the finger the first time I read it, after rereading it, it's a whole lot funnier

Story:There's a girl in one of my classes, and everyone from said class was up on campus today doing last minute prep for a group project. During this class, I am loud and obnoxious, and generally combative towards the teacher and women who babble too much. Anyway, I was in a good mood, so I saw this reasonably attractive girl in the computer lab. We chatted, she laughed in the right spots, and I thought nothing of it.During class, she sat next to me, instead of 8 seats down like usual. She passed me 3 notes, asked me for one of my mints, and engaged me most of the time. After class, as I was walking out, she caught up to me, and we walked out together. We engaged in conversation about where I work, and she mentioned that she might stop by sometime, until our paths were to part. Wang: "Okay, then, doll. I'll see you next week?"Girl: "Oh. Hmm. Next week?"Wang: "We have an exam next week, right?"Girl: (frowning) "Well... yeah. We have that final next Monday, sure."Wang: "So I'll see you next week?"Girl: (shrugs) "Oh, I was just... (looks put off and confused) I guess so."Wang: "What's wrong?"Girl: "Nothing. Goodbye, then."Will you believe it took me until at least an hour later to figure out that I was supposed to ask her out? I'm attracted to her, too. While we were having that conversation, I was actively thinking to myself, "I wonder when a good time to ask this girl out would be?" My conclusion, obviously reached far too quickly and cemented too firmly, was: "Next week would be a good time to ask this girl out." If the future of the human race depended upon my attempts to procreate... well, then women would probably just jump me because, holy crap the human race! But it'd be rough otherwise.Wang

this is how I constantly fuck up too. Along with overthinking basically everything and then coming to teh conclusion that she isn't into me anyway

crap, i see i didn't quote anything. great catchup. wangbear, our relationship grows more incestous by the minute.

wasn't it incestuous to begin with

[El Guapo 8]

Why is she black?

[socalpoker_j 1]

The aluminum siding for the shirt is a great touch Beans.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

Why is she black?

Supposed to be tanned...I couldnt get a better skin tone match and didnt want to spend more than a few minutes on itI really want to make a doberman joke here but probably shouldnt...

[beans-n-icewater 18]

The aluminum siding for the shirt is a great touch Beans.

Thank you, sir...I almost drew a hydrant sticking out of it

[El Guapo 8]

Supposed to be tanned...I couldnt get a better skin tone match and didnt want to spend more than a few minutes on itI really want to make a doberman joke here but probably shouldnt...

I thought that might be it, I am amazed at how close you got the teeth. Have you considered going into dentistry? Or possibly becoming an oral surgeon?

[beans-n-icewater 18]

Have you considered going into dentistry?

Ive often thought of going into another trade....But Id have to take a big pay cut-Balloon guyBadoom-Ching!

[KDawgCometh 2]

yea, I had to save this pic, it's just too good

[ShakeZuma 585]

Guess who got his first tooth today?Guess who also got the SPAM PM? Is online poker legal for 7 month olds?Guess whose dad is locked out of his account and can't celebrate this thrashing properly?Guess who LOVES to watch hockey?

your grammar and punctuation is even better than your fathers!

Lately I don't really have the motivation to type out full stories. I'll just say that I recently was around a small child...I think he's a good deal older than booboo, about 22 months. Anyways, we were at a big family dinner and he was making faces, screaming, etc., and everyone though it was hilarious. Whenever he looked at someone they would make faces at him and have a grand old time playing along with him. When he looked at me I gave him the finger. I didn't plan it, and really have no idea where that reaction came from (I hate kids, but I'm typically not that ridiculous). Needless to say, my family was slightly more mortified than amused.

I'm so disappointed in you speedz. you know you should have kicked him. nobody makes a face at speedz!.

we are more and more the same person lately, it seems.

IT HAS BEEN AMUSING, NO?

Yeah, for some reason the computer lab is like the bar for me: girls are desperate and looking to score. I'm probably more comfortable in a relaxed, academic setting -- where no woman expects a pickup line -- than a relaxed, social setting -- where women are, you know, judging me and shit. I like no expectations. Or, better yet, supremely low expectations. Or, best: blind.I don't understand any of these comments, except the last

first off: for a guy who doesn't have a computer lab, where should one go to meet these types of women? keep in mind, women will not talk to one at bars, restaurants, clubs, grocery stores, libraries, sidewalks, gas stations, and dicks sporting goods. where else?also, you don't know what less than three means? OMG LOSER.

Wait you have a field? How do you not have a house?

oh I have a field and a house, just not a roof. but a whole lot of grass.

crap, i see i didn't quote anything. great catchup. wangbear, our relationship grows more incestous by the minute.

your son was posting! it was crazy!

[ShakeZuma 585]

ok I can't wait for somebody else to post to put a break between my posts: I'm fucking sick and I hate being sick. I'd stopped taking vitamin c and zinc, but I will definitely be going back after this shit.

[leftygolfer 7]

Be sure to wipe Shake.

[speedz99 145]

you win.

Be sure to wipe Shake.

Don't worry, I won't.