I Called In Sick Today

[speedz99 145]

Since the 'simple woman question' thread is turning into an AD quotefest (which is fine by me), I'd like to point out the fact that I think my prediction will turn out to be completely accurate.

[zimmer4141 0]

Like I said Rocket, THEY'RE NOT DONE!!!!

[rocketpoker828 0]

PLZMAKEMEEATMYWORDSDETROIT!

[speedz99 145]

In the past two nights I've had these two dreams:-I was hanging out in my house when all of a sudden I realized my ballsac was tearing. I looked down and there was a big slit on one side, and my right ball fell out...it was pretty big, which is strange because it is actually the smaller of the two in real life. Anyways, I caught is before it could hit the floor. It was really slippery and hard to hold on to, so I couldn't figure out how to call for help without dropping it. The last thing I remember is my ball squirting out of my hand and hitting the floor.-As part of a longer adventure dream, the bad guy was literally ripping the nuts off of other guys in the dream. He would just reach down, grab their sac, and pull the whole thing off...I was terrified that he would do it to me, but the dream never got that far.I blame this on my recent sexual drought. Two weeks until I move to a college campus...

[rocketpoker828 0]

Good crosscheck at the end their by the Ducks...gfg.

[kers2 0]

I just got back from Spiderman 3 followed by sex on a golf course... guess which one was better?

[speedz99 145]

I just got back from Spiderman 3 followed by sex on a golf course... guess which one was better?

It depends which hole it was in.

[zimmer4141 0]

It depends which hole it was in.

19th hole?Oh, and **** that series, GL Ottawa.

[speedz99 145]

Cheerleader Update:Her father is my dentist, since he's a friend of the family and give us a discount (doesn't charge us above what our insurance will pay). This was our conversation the other day when he came in the room to check my teeth.Him: Hey Matthew.Me: Hey father-of-girl-that-wants-to-do-me-partly-because-her-mother-and-your-wife-is-obsessed-with-me.Him: So I heard you're trying to get into vet schools.Me: Yeah, we'll see how that goes.Him: You know, those are the same classes you need to take for dental schools. You could always do that...you'll have a practice to take over, and it comes with a girlfriend.*awkward pause*Me: I'll keep that in mind.Him: Open wide and face me.Me: I've heard that one before.Ok, the last two lines never happened...but you can imagine how funny it would have been if they did...right? Right? Eh, comrades?

[ThaBallSackRipper 0]

In the past two nights I've had these two dreams:-I was hanging out in my house when all of a sudden I realized my ballsac was tearing. I looked down and there was a big slit on one side, and my right ball fell out...it was pretty big, which is strange because it is actually the smaller of the two in real life. Anyways, I caught is before it could hit the floor. It was really slippery and hard to hold on to, so I couldn't figure out how to call for help without dropping it. The last thing I remember is my ball squirting out of my hand and hitting the floor.-As part of a longer adventure dream, the bad guy was literally ripping the nuts off of other guys in the dream. He would just reach down, grab their sac, and pull the whole thing off...I was terrified that he would do it to me, but the dream never got that far.I blame this on my recent sexual drought. Two weeks until I move to a college campus...

If you think I can't get to your hairy little coinpurse, well you're sadly mistaken. I'll see you soon.

[speedz99 145]

If you think I can't get to your hairy little coinpurse, well you're sadly mistaken. I'll see you soon.

I giggled at this, but maybe only because I'm a little buzzed.

[zimmer4141 0]

I giggled at this, but maybe only because I'm a little buzzed.

I'll admit it, I laughed way more than I should have.

[silkyjonson 1]

Cheerleader Update:Her father is my dentist, since he's a friend of the family and give us a discount (doesn't charge us above what our insurance will pay). This was our conversation the other day when he came in the room to check my teeth.Him: Hey Matthew.Me: Hey father-of-girl-that-wants-to-do-me-partly-because-her-mother-and-your-wife-is-obsessed-with-me.Him: So I heard you're trying to get into vet schools.Me: Yeah, we'll see how that goes.Him: You know, those are the same classes you need to take for dental schools. You could always do that...you'll have a practice to take over, and it comes with a girlfriend.*awkward pause*Me: I dont see the connection there Dental school is notoriously hard and your daughter is notoriously eaaaaaa ...........hey how's my molars looking?Him: Open wide and face me.Me: I've heard that one before.Ok, the last two lines never happened...but you can imagine how funny it would have been if they did...right? Right? Eh, comrades?

FYP

[gobears 0]

Dentist Dad of GF

Reminds me of the movie Marathon Man - this could end badly

[Ouch-8s 4]

It's way to early to take that shit from your kid. Punch your wife in the stomach where you assume the baby's mouth is positioned.

This guy knows what he's talking about.

It's moments like these that make me think this may still be worth saving.

He looks a lot like that except only one of his eyes has a patch of black fur over it...the other is completely white. Because of this flaw, he wasn't able to be a show dog and that's why he was put up for adoption. My mother finds this funny and even gave him a nickname because of it......wait for it...she calls him 'The One-Eyed Monster'. I live in constant fear of her googling this cute nickname she created to see if anyone else calls their dog that.

He's heating up!

In the past two nights I've had these two dreams:-I was hanging out in my house when all of a sudden I realized my ballsac was tearing. I looked down and there was a big slit on one side, and my right ball fell out...it was pretty big, which is strange because it is actually the smaller of the two in real life. Anyways, I caught is before it could hit the floor. It was really slippery and hard to hold on to, so I couldn't figure out how to call for help without dropping it. The last thing I remember is my ball squirting out of my hand and hitting the floor.-As part of a longer adventure dream, the bad guy was literally ripping the nuts off of other guys in the dream. He would just reach down, grab their sac, and pull the whole thing off...I was terrified that he would do it to me, but the dream never got that far.I blame this on my recent sexual drought. Two weeks until I move to a college campus...

(maybe he should put away some of those alters for a bit...)

Cheerleader Update:Her father is my dentist, since he's a friend of the family and give us a discount (doesn't charge us above what our insurance will pay). This was our conversation the other day when he came in the room to check my teeth.Him: Hey Matthew.Me: Hey father-of-girl-that-wants-to-do-me-partly-because-her-mother-and-your-wife-is-obsessed-with-me.Him: So I heard you're trying to get into vet schools.Me: Yeah, we'll see how that goes.Him: You know, those are the same classes you need to take for dental schools. You could always do that...you'll have a practice to take over, and it comes with a girlfriend.*awkward pause*Me: I'll keep that in mind.Him: Open wide and face me.Me: I've heard that one before.Ok, the last two lines never happened...but you can imagine how funny it would have been if they did...right? Right? Eh, comrades?

EN FUEGO!!!!!

[rocketpoker828 0]

I just got back from Spiderman 3 followed by sex on a golf course... guess which one was better?

I don't think I could ever have sex outside. Maybe I should just focus on having sex first and then work from there.

[Ouch-8s 4]

I don't think I could ever have sex outside. Maybe I should just focus on having sex first and then work from there.

baby steps, bob.

[ShakeZuma 585]

It's way to early to take that shit from your kid. Punch your wife in the stomach where you assume the baby's mouth is positioned.

This guy knows what he's talking about.

Yes, yes you are.I'm sorry, is your name also Jesus?No? I didn't think so.FACE!

Matt Damon

well. I should have known there'd be a ballsack ripping story coming.

[leftygolfer 7]

Congrats Big Yang, sounds like it'll be a good time.

Where's the bachelor party?

In the past two nights I've had two dreams:

Mine were usually either wet. Like my martini's

I just got back from Spiderman 3 followed by sex on a golf course.

Golf clap.

Mister B -Baltusrol is still on my calendar. I have you as a back up in case my 2 friends back out. JS.RM - Your WOMD are shipping Friday.Ouch - Congrats. Hopefully a lefty kicker. I hear the NFL MLB pays big money. I think we need a little Ouch naming contest.Speaking of kickers...what time does drinking commence today Keith. I like Liverpool.

[MisterB 2]

Mister B -Baltusrol is still on my calendar. I have you as a back up in case my 2 friends back out. JS.

I will definitely take 3rd alternate. I highly doubt that they will back out, but if you give me their names and addresses I can better my chances. In all seriousness, you could call me that morning and I would make it out there. It's only a 2 hour drive and I'm weird like that.And the game today starts at 2:30 on the deuce. I would love to see Liverpool win, but Milan have this innate ability to expose the English long-ball.

[Randy Reed 0]

I JUST FELT A KICK!

Aww, did anyone say OUCH?

It's way to early to take that shit from your kid. Punch your wife in the stomach where you assume the baby's mouth is positioned.

bwaaahhhh

If you think I can't get to your hairy little coinpurse, well you're sadly mistaken. I'll see you soon.

double bwaaahhhahaha

[Randy Reed 0]

More wedding updates. We haven't told anyone we've set a date yet. You all get it first of course.Okay, since this is each of ours 3rd marraige we are obviously keeping it small. We are getting married at our house and only having immediate family and a couple friends with a quick simple ceremony. Afterwards we are going with a Jimmy Buffett theme for the guests with Margeritas and shrimp, etc. This is kind of a throwing it at the "man" kinda thing as well since that's when I got my DUI last year, coupled with the fact we are going to Key West the following morning.So, since no is coming to the wedding perhaps I should have a sickie bachelor party, probably at Argosy casino in Indiana.I'm quickly coming up with a list of things I'll need. Feel free to help me out here.Mr. B wants a virgin but i'm thinking of getting him a middle aged slovekian broad to spew on.Oh geez, I need an updated list of virginity around here so I know how many virgins to get.zimmy, MDG, etc. though I might just zimmy a penis.speedz- clingy college coed with socialpathical issues.Ron- Blow up male dollLefty- Golf balls?Ouch- probably some sleep around now.Lolli- too easy. Bag a coke.Kdawg, and the others will have to just make requests or i'll follow you're suggestions here.Turd- a personality.Can we hunt down Hobbes, timdog, AJ and the rest for this?Oh yeah, and obviously my son is invited to the wedding, the little chink bastar.d.

[renaedawn 1]

More wedding updates. We haven't told anyone we've set a date yet. You all get it first of course.Okay, since this is each of ours 3rd marraige we are obviously keeping it small. We are getting married at our house and only having immediate family and a couple friends with a quick simple ceremony. Afterwards we are going with a Jimmy Buffett theme for the guests with Margeritas and shrimp, etc. This is kind of a throwing it at the "man" kinda thing as well since that's when I got my DUI last year, coupled with the fact we are going to Key West the following morning.So, since no is coming to the wedding perhaps I should have a sickie bachelor party, probably at Argosy casino in Indiana.I'm quickly coming up with a list of things I'll need. Feel free to help me out here.Mr. B wants a virgin but i'm thinking of getting him a middle aged slovekian broad to spew on.Oh geez, I need an updated list of virginity around here so I know how many virgins to get.zimmy, MDG, etc. though I might just zimmy a penis.speedz- clingy college coed with socialpathical issues.Ron- Blow up male dollLefty- Golf balls?Ouch- probably some sleep around now.Lolli- too easy. Bag a coke.Kdawg, and the others will have to just make requests or i'll follow you're suggestions here.Turd- a personality.Can we hunt down Hobbes, timdog, AJ and the rest for this?Oh yeah, and obviously my son is invited to the wedding, the little chink bastar.d.

Best thing I've read all week.

[Randy Reed 0]

Ha, I was just thinking of you. I guess I should get you Nikki?

[MisterB 2]

Mr. B wants a virgin but i'm thinking of getting him a middle aged slovekian broad to spew on.

This I would definitely take!Awww I was kind of hoping we could all get together and go to the Olive Garden. Watching you throw a $20 at a waitress would be worth the price of a plane ticket. If it's in Indiana I have to check and see if my warrant has expired, which I think it has, then I will definitely be there. I'm in for just about anything sir. I need something to look forward to.