I Called In Sick Today

[loogie 115]

I love my stepdad but sometimes he is so dense. I just got an email from him which is so clearly a hoax, it says if you forward it to more than 8 people that Sony Ericsson will send you a free laptop. He sent it to dozens of people. It seemed obvious to me that it's a fake, but I googled anyway and confirmed that it's been running round the internet for years. How does he fall for these kind of things? At some point he's going to get some awful spyware or malware on his computer from one of these scam emails.

There should be an internet penalty box for anyone who forwards any kind of chain letter.

[gobears 0]

So we had a visit from Animal Services last night. One of our neighbors complained about our Dog's howling in the backyard. We keep him indoors at night but we leave him outside during the day when my wife has stuff to do. He must howl during the day in the yard. Unless it was during those couple of weeks when I was away on business when he was left outside at night. Guess I won't know since we didn't hear directly from the neighbor.Of course as I'm walking him last night, I hear other dogs barking all over the neighborhood in their backyards.....As a first time dog owner, I was also unaware that:1. I need to purchase an annual dog license from the city2. That there is an 82 page city ordinance on pets and that it is illegal to tie a dog up (such as on a long leash/chain which we did) to anything such as a tree. So I'm in the market now for a dog run/kennel since we can't leave him running around in the backyard as he would jump the fence like he's done twice already.

[brvheart 1,752]

So we had a visit from Animal Services last night. One of our neighbors complained about our Dog's howling in the backyard. We keep him indoors at night but we leave him outside during the day when my wife has stuff to do. He must howl during the day in the yard. Unless it was during those couple of weeks when I was away on business when he was left outside at night. Guess I won't know since we didn't hear directly from the neighbor.Of course as I'm walking him last night, I hear other dogs barking all over the neighborhood in their backyards.....As a first time dog owner, I was also unaware that:1. I need to purchase an annual dog license from the city2. That there is an 82 page city ordinance on pets and that it is illegal to tie a dog up (such as on a long leash/chain which we did) to anything such as a tree. So I'm in the market now for a dog run/kennel since we can't leave him running around in the backyard as he would jump the fence like he's done twice already.

Liberals.

[mrdannyg 274]

So we had a visit from Animal Services last night. One of our neighbors complained about our Dog's howling in the backyard. We keep him indoors at night but we leave him outside during the day when my wife has stuff to do. He must howl during the day in the yard. Unless it was during those couple of weeks when I was away on business when he was left outside at night. Guess I won't know since we didn't hear directly from the neighbor.Of course as I'm walking him last night, I hear other dogs barking all over the neighborhood in their backyards.....As a first time dog owner, I was also unaware that:1. I need to purchase an annual dog license from the city2. That there is an 82 page city ordinance on pets and that it is illegal to tie a dog up (such as on a long leash/chain which we did) to anything such as a tree. So I'm in the market now for a dog run/kennel since we can't leave him running around in the backyard as he would jump the fence like he's done twice already.

You can't tie up a dog? That's crap.Our city council is currently debating "urban chickens" and in the process of drafting a similar, ridiculously long, ordinance governing them. Some people keep them as pets, some people just want a couple fresh eggs in the mornin. Really fresh, apparently.

[Randy Reed 0]

It's illegal to harm a chicken in Key West. They roam around everywhere. We were eating in a little cantina and a bunch of chicks and dna came wandering in.

[loogie 115]

2. That there is an 82 page city ordinance on pets and that it is illegal to tie a dog up (such as on a long leash/chain which we did) to anything such as a tree.

You can't tie up a dog? That's crap.

Vonteego's gonna choke a (human) bitch.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I get paid a base salary and a commission that starts when we have an occupancy rate at 80%. We are at 78%. I miss those checks last year when we were at 94%.

sounds to me like it's not really about $10 and maybe your boss is better at his job than you think he is.

[Randy Reed 0]

60 mph winds here today. I feel like Mary fuckin' Poppins.

[SBriand 4]

sounds to me like it's not really about $10 and maybe your boss is better at his job than you think he is.

How do you figure...oops, I had a long statement ready about the math of it all then I got what you meant.Dammit.

[El Guapo 8]

Random thoughts of the day:Is there any reason to eat a sandwich not warm or toasted, assuming warming or toasted does not ruin it?Why do people who have 50 items in their cart, holding a coffee in one hand and cell phone in the other, go through the self checkout line?I find unique women to be hotter than what most people consider to be hot women. A quirky looking girl, hot body in a business suit, but sorta naughty looking walked by me in the store and I got a little hot in the pants for her. Definitely not the type to marry, but bang over a desk? Yes.It's cold and my nipples are hard. (could also be related to the above thought)

[brvheart 1,752]

It's cold and my nipples are hard. (could also be related to the above thought)

Sounds like you could use an ENCLOSED PORCH.

[LadyGrey 6]

Random thoughts of the day:Is there any reason to eat a sandwich not warm or toasted, assuming warming or toasted does not ruin it? Laziness.Why do people who have 50 items in their cart, holding a coffee in one hand and cell phone in the other, go through the self checkout line? They don't want to seem rude by ignoring the cashier.I find unique women to be hotter than what most people consider to be hot women. A quirky looking girl, hot body in a business suit, but sorta naughty looking walked by me in the store and I got a little hot in the pants for her. Definitely not the type to marry, but bang over a desk? Yes. Every guy says this, therefore these "quirky looking girls" are "what most people consider to be hot women".It's cold and my nipples are hard. (could also be related to the above thought) Put lipstick on them. Anyone else seen Steve Martin's film 'Pennies from Heaven'? It wasn't very successful.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

They don't want to seem rude by ignoring the cashier.

I pick the line that has the hottest cashier, unless there is more than two extra people in that particular line.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I pick the line that has the hottest cashier, unless there is more than two extra people in that particular line.

I pick the line that has the hottest girl waiting last in it. She stays close a lot longer it seems.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I pick the line that has the hottest girl waiting last in it. She stays close a lot longer it seems.

Well, sure, if there is a line that has a hot girl waiting last, then yeah, but unless you shop at VB's grocery store, that doesn't happen nearly as often, comma comma.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Well, sure, if there is a line that has a hot girl waiting last, then yeah, but unless you shop at VB's grocery store, that doesn't happen nearly as often, comma comma.

dont forget the line with the hot cashier AND the hot chick waiting last. i find when they meet at the till it's practically child's play to get them to make out a little bit.

[vbnautilus 48]

Random thoughts of the day:Is there any reason to eat a sandwich not warm or toasted,

well sometimes heating it up ru-

assuming warming or toasted does not ruin it?

...

Why do people who have 50 items in their cart, holding a coffee in one hand and cell phone in the other, go through the self checkout line?

Those people obviously like to get their hands on things.

I find unique women to be hotter than what most people consider to be hot women. A quirky looking girl, hot body in a business suit, but sorta naughty looking walked by me in the store and I got a little hot in the pants for her. Definitely not the type to marry, but bang over a desk? Yes.

I guarantee you're not the only one she evoked that reaction from.

Well, sure, if there is a line that has a hot girl waiting last, then yeah, but unless you shop at VB's grocery store, that doesn't happen nearly as often, comma comma.

You just have to use my map system to time your checkout properly.

[LadyGrey 6]

I pick the line that has the hottest girl waiting last in it. She stays close a lot longer it seems.

Yes, that's my strategy: pick the line where I'll be standing behind an attractive girl, then edge closer and closer to her back until she feels my breath on the back of her neck. When she turns around or looks over her shoulder at me I mouth the word "Hello".

[speedz99 145]

Yes, that's my strategy: pick the line where I'll be standing behind an attractive girl, then edge closer and closer to her back until she feels my breath on the back of her neck. When she turns around or looks over her shoulder at me I mouth the word "Hello".

Hello? Amateur.

[LadyGrey 6]

Hello? Amateur.

It's simple, sure, but then I follow it up with "I watch you all the time".

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

"Hello. Professional?"

FYP

It's simple, sure, but then I follow it up with "I watch you all the time".

oh wow, that's just awesome.

[LadyGrey 6]

What the hell, facebook just said this to me:"Block! You are engaging in behaviour that may be considered annoying or abusive by other users.You have been blocked from searching because you repeatedly misused this feature."All I did was try to find someone with a common name by searching for them in a couple of different locations (their hometown, both colleges they've attended, and the town they live in at the moment). I really don't think that was annoying or abusive or deserving of blockage. If I can't facebook-stalk people then I might as well just delete my account, that's the only enjoyable part of it.

[Randy Reed 0]

Sounds like you could use an ENCLOSED PORCH.

hahahahaMy boss just left and I don't have long to post but whatever.He usually starts drinking beer about 4 or 5. He's pretty much a professional at it. He doesn't pound like me or Mex would, more of a sipperbut he'll stay until well after I leave at at 7 or 8 at night playing Euchre on the computer and getting sloshed. I'm sure he goes homeand hits his keg for a few more as well. He probably starts about 2 most Sundays and drinks all day. You get the picture. He's early 50's,married, never had kids and a has a temper like a pitbull.After the first year I pretty much layed down the law about the temper thing and he's gotten alot better. He bites his tongue alot now ratherthan throw and smash things. It's all really childish as hell. If he has to actually do some work during the day, like bookwork or something, he'spretty miserable. I know most of this is because of his hangover, or the foggy haze he lives in till he gets the evening beer going again. I can hear him let out all kinds of exasperated noises as he's trying to make it through simple tasks like he just finished running a mile, "whew".He also tends to mumble alot. Sometimes he'll start talking to me but I don't realize it. It is the same monotone that he uses to talk on the phoneor to other people in the office and then all of a sudden I'll hear, "Are you ****in' listening to me?"I look up startled and give him the ol' (**) look.So anyway, I'll always be calm and logical and generally know what the problem is or how to fix it but lately he's been a little nuttier than usual.He'll ask incomplete questions, "What's the guy gonna drive?""Umm, what guy?""The guy that's coming"Now in the past this could go on for a while but i've taken a new more rational approach lately. I hold up an emptyenvelope to my forehead like Carnac from Johnny Carson and look blankly at him and say something like "Ford?"Boss- "No, the ****ing guy that's coming to pick up the BMW this evening"M- :thinking hard face:B-"The goddam foreigner"M- "Hmm, OH! You mean the transport driver that's coming to pick up the 05- X5 that I sold to the Russian a few weeks back"Boss- "Yeah, what's he going to be driving?"Now I realize what the hell he's talking about, but it isn't easy. I talked to the guy who purchased the car and is shipping it overseasa few days back. He is sending a transport driver to pick it up and take it to Florida for export. They all drive transport trucks, 18 wheelersthat hold about 8 cars. I didn't actually know the guy was coming that day since HE actually talked to the truck driver on the phone. I still haveno clue why he wants to know what "kind" of truck the guy is driving though and how in the world he would expect me to know though.Luckily last night when this happened I was privy to how to answer this now.M-"Finland?"B-"I don't know where in the fuck it's going!, but what the hell is he going to be driving?"M- "Sweden?"B-"No the kind of ****in' truck!"Tired of the game already I move on."Boss, I didn't know that a driver was coming to pick up the BMW tonight. Obviously you talked to the driver on the phonebut didn't let me know. Now if I didn't know he was coming or talk to the guy I would have no idea of the type of truck he is driving other than it would likely be a normal transport truck that holds 8 cars. I'm guessing you didn't ask him but is therea reason it's important?"B-"Well, the joint next door (Animal Rescue Bingo) has something going on and the he won't be able to get in so I don't knowwhere the **** he's going to park or how he thinks he's going to pick it up!" :evil looking mad crazy face:Me- To self- Oh geez, it's the foreigner thing again. Anyone that doesn't speak English is some kind of terrorist or weird freak again.Geez, he's more racist than my great-grandfather. I guess he's trying to think of ways to fuck with the poor truck driver, ugh.Maybe I should let him yell at me more so that he doesn't take all his frustration out on vendors or anyone he thinks he can do it and get away with....Me-"I'll call him and tell him to park on the road instead of pulling in the lot though it will probably be obvious when he sees there's no room, that's howmost of them do it anyway."Boss-"How are you going to get his number if you've never talked to him, huh, HUH??"Me as I am finishing scrolling through caller ID, "Hey when you get here just park on the road out front okay? Yeah, no problem we'll be here till 7. Thanks."Boss- pissed off and heading back to garage to get another beer.It's endless like this.

[LadyGrey 6]

Randy, what's up with your weird line breaks lately? It's like you're inserting them unnecessarily or copying your text from a website with different formatting. Either way this nitpicker has noticed and beseeches an explanation of you.

[Napa_Don 688]

Anybody here (cough LG cough) familiar with philosophical arguments? I'm trying to prep for my philosophy final (given five questions, three will be on test, choose two to answer) and want to run some ideas by somebody who is good with this kind of stuff. I'm not looking for help writing the essays per say, but more wanting to make sure how I'm structuring my argument is sound. Please and thanks.