I Called In Sick Today

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I picture the mother (who would obviously win) raising her arms in the air with a big, "HA!" The daughter would make a poutey face and try that much harder during the actual intercourse.

I can see that. And yes, the mother would definitely win.

I'm pretty sure the oral sex comes AFTER the spanking.

Well, I'm sure we can all agree that some spanking and cuffing is in order. Ya?

Winners.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

google rules at keeping me from looking like an uncultured boob.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

google rules at keeping me from looking like an uncultured boob.

I almost clicked on your second link without thinking. Almost.

[CaneBrain 95]

Then I thought, oh, it's probably your wife's brother, which is why you said brother in law instead of sister because there was no sister involved and it would be too cumbersome to say my wife's brother's wife.

bingo.Tiger Woods is officially hilarious. A Perkins waitress? Really? God, this guy has Clinton's 'whatever is availabile' disease.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Attention sbriand: http://goodaftermornings.blogspot.com/You're welcome.

[Randy Reed 0]

I am officially an uncle today.My brother in law named his little girl Delaney. Thoughts? I know he did it because of a Jimmy Buffet song he loves.

SIAMAPR8

Attention sbriand: http://goodaftermornings.blogspot.com/You're welcome.

dog damn, that's awesome.Who knew Sal had a blog??

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

this may be my favourite entry so far:The Boss has been absent from the office for two weeks now, and I have been very busy, although in a very productive, on-top-of-it, getting-shit-done kind of a way. Mostly, anyway. But upon her return everything has been gone through with the fine toothed comb, so to speak, and this is actually slightly more painful and intrusive than a very bad experience in Customs, or maybe even jail.To set the scene, The Boss is staring at her screen, which is some distance from me and at the wrong angle for me to be able to see anyway, and is randomly interrogating me based upon two weeks of e-mails. I've had to condense this considerably, because it basically lasted for eight hours. Dark days indeed, this office is steadily turning into some Village of the Damned type scene. I'm expecting a thick mist to come rolling under the door any moment now.The Boss : "Did you do this one?"Here's me : "What one?"The Boss : "Denmark."Here's me : "I did a lot of Denmark. Which Denmark?"The Boss : "Have you done all of these then?"Here's me : "Well I think so, but I mean, can you be specific?"The Boss : "Did you do all the Denmark or not?"Here's me : "Er... " oh **** it "Yes."The Boss : "Did you do this one?"Here's me : "What one?"The Boss : "Mombasa."Here's me : "Yes.The Boss : "Finland?"Here's me : "What Finland?"The Boss : "Norway."Here's me : "I did a Norway."The Boss : "But Finland?"Here's me : "What Finland?"The Boss : "Any Finland."Here's me : "I don't think so."The Boss : "So you didn't do it?"Here's me : "What? Wait. I didn't think there was a Finland job..?"The Boss : "So you didn't do Finland. You can't just leave things lying, you know."Here's me : "Was there a Finland job?"The Boss : "Did you do all these to Galveston."Here's me : "Yes. What Finland?"The Boss : "Never mind. Did you do those invoices for Frances?"Here's me : "Yes. What Finland job was that, again?"The Boss : "All of them?"Here's me : "Yes."The Boss : "Did you do this one?"Here's me : "WHAT one?"The Boss : "Do you have a problem with me asking you questions?"Here's me : "No. Seriously. I just can't answer them if I don't know what the hell you're talking about."The Boss : "Did you do Galveston?"Here's me, staring at the ceiling and speaking in a kind of a whimper : "You asked me that about thirty seconds ago."The Boss, dangerously : "Do you think I'm giving you a hard time?"Here's me, carefully : "No. I am... " think goddamit think "..just, sometimes, not sure of exactly what it is that you're asking."The Boss : "That's because you never listen. You need to learn. Did you do Norway?"Here's me : "Yes. You've already asked me that."The Boss : "No I didn't. I asked you about Finland."Here's me : "No you oh what's the point right ok."The Boss : "So you didn't do Norway?"Here's me : "No, I did."The Boss : "You said you didn't do it."Here's me : "No, I said I didn't do Finland."The Boss, angry, triumphant, insane : "Ah, so you didn't do Finland! You just ignored the Finland job!"Here's me, talking to a fixed point in the middle distance : "Truthfully, no, I did not do the Finland job, but there was no Finland job so I think it's fairly excusable."The Boss, dripping some sort of odious malice : "Well Iiiiii see a Finland."I bound over quickly and brightly.Here's me : "Really my goodness I must have made a terrible mistake where is the Finland I have failed to do please??"The Boss, actually, for real - this'll blow your ****ing minds, kids - puts her hand flat over the screen, attempting to mask the email which is open upon it, and glares at me with raw, naked contempt.Here's me, smiling like The Joker : "Which Finland please?"The Boss : "Never mind."Here's me, all eyeballs and teeth : "I need to learn."The Boss, sullenly and aggressively, drops her hand from the screen.Here's me, in the flat dead tones of the new murderer : "That", I state, indicating the screen with a pointing finger that barely shows a tremble despite the hell that is flowing through my veins, "is Norway."The Boss folds her arms and regards me with her 'orrible little beady eyes for a moment, and I can almost see the wheels of whatever diabolical instrument drives her mind turning, then slowly intones, with an air of utter disgust :"Did you do anything while I was away?"

[SBriand 4]

this may be my favourite entry so far:The Boss has been absent from the office for two weeks now, and I have been very busy, although in a very productive, on-top-of-it, getting-shit-done kind of a way. Mostly, anyway. But upon her return everything has been gone through with the fine toothed comb, so to speak, and this is actually slightly more painful and intrusive than a very bad experience in Customs, or maybe even jail.To set the scene, The Boss is staring at her screen, which is some distance from me and at the wrong angle for me to be able to see anyway, and is randomly interrogating me based upon two weeks of e-mails. I've had to condense this considerably, because it basically lasted for eight hours. Dark days indeed, this office is steadily turning into some Village of the Damned type scene. I'm expecting a thick mist to come rolling under the door any moment now.The Boss : "Did you do this one?"Here's me : "What one?"The Boss : "Denmark."Here's me : "I did a lot of Denmark. Which Denmark?"The Boss : "Have you done all of these then?"Here's me : "Well I think so, but I mean, can you be specific?"The Boss : "Did you do all the Denmark or not?"Here's me : "Er... " oh **** it "Yes."The Boss : "Did you do this one?"Here's me : "What one?"The Boss : "Mombasa."Here's me : "Yes.The Boss : "Finland?"Here's me : "What Finland?"The Boss : "Norway."Here's me : "I did a Norway."The Boss : "But Finland?"Here's me : "What Finland?"The Boss : "Any Finland."Here's me : "I don't think so."The Boss : "So you didn't do it?"Here's me : "What? Wait. I didn't think there was a Finland job..?"The Boss : "So you didn't do Finland. You can't just leave things lying, you know."Here's me : "Was there a Finland job?"The Boss : "Did you do all these to Galveston."Here's me : "Yes. What Finland?"The Boss : "Never mind. Did you do those invoices for Frances?"Here's me : "Yes. What Finland job was that, again?"The Boss : "All of them?"Here's me : "Yes."The Boss : "Did you do this one?"Here's me : "WHAT one?"The Boss : "Do you have a problem with me asking you questions?"Here's me : "No. Seriously. I just can't answer them if I don't know what the hell you're talking about."The Boss : "Did you do Galveston?"Here's me, staring at the ceiling and speaking in a kind of a whimper : "You asked me that about thirty seconds ago."The Boss, dangerously : "Do you think I'm giving you a hard time?"Here's me, carefully : "No. I am... " think goddamit think "..just, sometimes, not sure of exactly what it is that you're asking."The Boss : "That's because you never listen. You need to learn. Did you do Norway?"Here's me : "Yes. You've already asked me that."The Boss : "No I didn't. I asked you about Finland."Here's me : "No you oh what's the point right ok."The Boss : "So you didn't do Norway?"Here's me : "No, I did."The Boss : "You said you didn't do it."Here's me : "No, I said I didn't do Finland."The Boss, angry, triumphant, insane : "Ah, so you didn't do Finland! You just ignored the Finland job!"Here's me, talking to a fixed point in the middle distance : "Truthfully, no, I did not do the Finland job, but there was no Finland job so I think it's fairly excusable."The Boss, dripping some sort of odious malice : "Well Iiiiii see a Finland."I bound over quickly and brightly.Here's me : "Really my goodness I must have made a terrible mistake where is the Finland I have failed to do please??"The Boss, actually, for real - this'll blow your ****ing minds, kids - puts her hand flat over the screen, attempting to mask the email which is open upon it, and glares at me with raw, naked contempt.Here's me, smiling like The Joker : "Which Finland please?"The Boss : "Never mind."Here's me, all eyeballs and teeth : "I need to learn."The Boss, sullenly and aggressively, drops her hand from the screen.Here's me, in the flat dead tones of the new murderer : "That", I state, indicating the screen with a pointing finger that barely shows a tremble despite the hell that is flowing through my veins, "is Norway."The Boss folds her arms and regards me with her 'orrible little beady eyes for a moment, and I can almost see the wheels of whatever diabolical instrument drives her mind turning, then slowly intones, with an air of utter disgust :"Did you do anything while I was away?"

My. God.

[Randy Reed 0]

My. God.

Damn, I need to do some of these conversations with my boss. That's nothing.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

this may be my favourite entry so far:

Yeah, that's pretty much how I envision Sal's job.

[Sal Paradise 57]

god damn, that is actually scarily like the way my boss talks to me. I really didn't even like reading that.so yeah, I guess that's a lot like my job, except for the fact that I'm constantly doing multiple things while getting yelled at for other things, running back and forth across the building, and stopping only occasionally when the chest pains get bad (yes, I've started getting chest pains throughout the day the past couple of weeks).I almost quit again this morning. didn't go through with it. I'm to the point now where I just wish I would have the imminent heart attack so I can have an excuse to leave.

[SBriand 4]

I like my boss so I don't usually have issues with our conversations but one I had with him yesterday had me scratching my head. I could be wrong but I don't think so but I am sure someone here will correct me if I am wrong.We have 11 buildings here with 132 apartments. Out of those 132 apartments we have 8, in one building, that do not have dishwashers installed.I asked about this some 5 years ago when I started and was told that that building was the first one built and they designed it plumbing wise and some other-wise I can't recall at the moment that made it difficult to put in dishwashers. Odd to me since I thought dishwashers just hooked up to the sink somehow. I am no plumber so I let it go, what do I care if it has a dishwasher or not. I rarely have had one of these 8 apartments empty. Now I have an empty one and this guy wants it out of the other 9 one bed apartments I have available which are are exactly the same except unlike this one, they all have dishwashers. He told me he doesn't need a dishwasher but asked if I could go to the boss and get a $10 reduction in rent since it didn't have what the other apartments had. Fair enough. I don't care if he doesn't want a dishwasher and it doesn't hurt me if his rent goes from $670 to $660.So I ask my boss and he freaks out.Him: What? Why are there no dishwashers in L building?Me: Ummmm, there never was, you told me that on the first walkthrough even before I took the job. Something about plumbing issues and some cabinet issue or whatever. I don't remember but this isn't some crazy time warp moment where suddenly we lost 8 dishwashers.Him: He wants how much off? $10?Me: Yup.Him: No, we will install a dishwasher.Me: Really? How?Him: Just cut the cabinet out and put one in, hook it up to the sink plumbing and be done with it.Me: Who is going to cut the cabinet?Him: Call whatshisface that did the cabinets in G1.Me: He was pretty expensive.Him: So, I am not reducing some guys rent over a dishwasher.Me: Ummm, the dishwasher is $229, whatshisface will be another $200+ right?Him: yeah, so.Me: You are spending more money than you will lose if he moves in at a $10 discount.Him: how do you figure?Me: So you want to spend say $500 this week to add a dishwasher instead of reduce the guys rent $120 this year. Seems you are wasting $380. I mean sure, if he stays or we keep it rented out for a little over 4 years you will get your money back but with all the talk lately how we are broke, seems more cost effective to just give him the $10/mo off his rent. Him: the rent is $670 so I want $670. Me: Fine.But not 5 days ago I was explaining to him that we have an issue because we are over $120 or more than any other apartment complex in a 20 mile radius of us. He told me to ask people what price they would like to pay and we would negotiate with them because we desperately need people. If he won't haggle over $10 and is willing to blow $500+ to get that $10 then I see this as being a no win situation.In the last 2 months we have had: 1 move in1 death1 guy got cancer and moved to hospice care1 woman evicted for non payment of rent of more than 5 months1 woman evicted because of cops visiting for domestic disputes more than 6 times1 woman lost job moved to Alabama1 guy lost job moved to Tennessee1 woman lost job moved to Virgina1 man went bankrupt and couldn't afford his rent anymore1 woman got married and moved to a houseWe have another woman who is 90, lived her 20+ years. Her daughter wants her rent to be $830 instead of $865. My boss said $840. She said no, he told her to feel free to move. The going rate for her apartment for anyone moving in? $830. So he is willing to take $0/ month instead of $830/month because of $10 again. I get paid a base salary and a commission that starts when we have an occupancy rate at 80%. We are at 78%. I miss those checks last year when we were at 94%.My wife got a job though this week though so that is good news. *sigh*

[speedz99 145]

Him:

Ohmygodwhatdidhesaywhatdidhesay????Edit: Hmm. Too late. This won't make sense to anyone. Oh well.

[jhnyblz 0]

San Diego area, anyone??

[SBriand 4]

Ohmygodwhatdidhesaywhatdidhesay????Edit: Hmm. Too late. This won't make sense to anyone. Oh well.

lolsorry, I noticed it too late. I was trying to think of something clever to just put there but come on we know that would not work out to well.

[speedz99 145]

San Diego area, anyone??

...

[JoeyJoJo 18]

...

I'm kind of curious as to what the follow up would be if someone answered yes.

[strategy 4]

.

[El Guapo 8]

So since every radio and tv station is reporting 100% on Tiger Woods right now, I have a question.If your wife or husband (must be married, if your not make an assumption that you are for this exercise) cheated on you, would you take them back? (This question does not apply to Voldemort)Some things to consider in your answerIf it was a one night stand or a relationshipIf it was one time or multiple transgressionsIf you have children or notI always said if my wife cheated, I would be done with her no questions asked. Depending on the above, if it were a one night stand and because I have children I would now consider trying to make it work. I am not sure if I could, but I would at least entertain the possibility at this point. If I did not have kids, there would be no way i would take her back, and if they were older I would probably lean toward leaving her.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I got a call from an HR department today telling me they wanted me on their team. It ended up being a wrong number.

That was opportunity knocking. Too bad you didn't seize the bull by the horns or something like that.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

It is 76 degrees and sunny here today.suck it, all of you.

Well, not all of us

And Tiger's a manwhore, the Steelers are losers and Ron Mex has a girlfriend. The world is ending obviously.

Tell me about it

Hey, did we..and when I say we I mean the sick thread...used to like Royal Tour?

during the hijacking of general, we had some fun and liked him, but he never progressed. Devolved actually, and no, he comes off as a moderately retarded know it all.

Edit: We did have some good times with the whole e-gay thing back at the beginning of it all.

true

I almost quit again this morning. didn't go through with it. I'm to the point now where I just wish I would have the imminent heart attack so I can have an excuse to leave.

Well, two (out of 6) of our regional managers just quit and our quarterly meeting for January was canceled, not to mention our stock being .86 a share and us having a CD campaign to raise $25 million, I'm sure my job is completely safe and my company isn't going out of business. Noooooo

San Diego area, anyone??

Nope, sorry. Socal is from around there. Check the local churches and Jujitsu studios for him.

[jhnyblz 0]

...

I'm kind of curious as to what the follow up would be if someone answered yes.

for you two; blowjobs obv. I'd probably message you though, had you said yes, to ask a question.

[jhnyblz 0]

Nope, sorry. Socal is from around there. Check the local churches and Jujitsu studios for him.

thanks sexy. was seeing if anyone could help with this medicinal shit out in this lovely state. best of luck with that 'slightly' lofty campaign there.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

So since every radio and tv station is reporting 100% on Tiger Woods right now, I have a question.If your wife or husband (must be married, if your not make an assumption that you are for this exercise) cheated on you, would you take them back? (This question does not apply to Voldemort)Some things to consider in your answerIf it was a one night stand or a relationshipIf it was one time or multiple transgressionsIf you have children or notI always said if my wife cheated, I would be done with her no questions asked. Depending on the above, if it were a one night stand and because I have children I would now consider trying to make it work. I am not sure if I could, but I would at least entertain the possibility at this point. If I did not have kids, there would be no way i would take her back, and if they were older I would probably lean toward leaving her.

I'm pretty liberal, sexually speaking, so I suppose a one night indiscretion wouldn't devastate me, but an ongoing relationship would bother me. I look at it like, if I screwed up one drunken night, I would still want my wife. But then again, men have an easier time detaching and just wanting sex and it having nothing to do with the love of their wife, it's just about cumming on a new girl. It's sad, but true. I never cheated when married. But like the saying goes, it's easy not to cheat when nobody wants to fck you. Try being Tiger, or a rock star, or insanely rich and popular and having hot girls basically throw it at you every day. That takes a special man to turn all that down.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

thanks sexy. was seeing if anyone could help with this medicinal shit out in this lovely state. best of luck with that 'slightly' lofty campaign there.

Just say NOgood luck with your quest