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who's hotter part two


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Shakira. Dated a girl once who had a fragile ego, and whenever she asked, "Would have you sex with _________?" we had an unwritten agreement that I'd just say, "What? Sheesh, of course not. She's hideous" and then point out some feature that my girlfriend had that was better.Penultimate conversation with GF:(sitting on couch, mesmerized by Shakira 'Whenever, Wherever' video)GF: "Would you have sex with Shakira?"Iceman: "Come on, honey. I love you."GF: "I know, but I wanna know. I don't care. Would you have sex with Shakira?"Iceman: "Honey, don't be so insecure. I will never cheat on you. I love you so much."GF: "Yeah, but what if you wouldn't get caught? Or what if you could immediately go back in time and make it so it never happened?"Iceman: "That second part there doesn't make any sense, but, honey, you're wonderful. Don't worry, beautiful."(pause... glorious, pause, meaning the conversation might be over, and she's probably thinking about shoes, or how she hates her hips or something)Iceman: "Besides, she'd never fuck a dude like me..."Final conversation with (now ex) GF:(ex)GF: "I want my fucking CDs back and my goddamned scented candles! I hate you you fucking asshole!"Iceman: "Not only would I make Shakira squeal like a stuck big, I'd pound each and every woman you ever asked that question about until their vaginas looked like roast-beef sanwiches after a meat-mallet had been taken to them. Also, you're a whore and I porked your best friend."So, uh....Shakira. Definitely Shakira.Ice

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Shakira.  Dated a girl once who had a fragile ego, and whenever she asked, "Would have you sex with _________?" we had an unwritten agreement that I'd just say, "What?  Sheesh, of course not.  She's hideous" and then  point out some feature that my girlfriend had that was better.Penultimate conversation with GF:(sitting on couch, mesmerized by Shakira 'Whenever, Wherever' video)GF: "Would you have sex with Shakira?"Iceman: "Come on, honey.  I love you."GF: "I know, but I wanna know.  I don't care.  Would you have sex with Shakira?"Iceman: "Honey, don't be so insecure.  I will never cheat on you.  I love you so much."GF: "Yeah, but what if you wouldn't get caught?  Or what if you could immediately go back in time and make it so it never happened?"Iceman: "That second part there doesn't make any sense, but, honey, you're wonderful.  Don't worry, beautiful."(pause... glorious, pause, meaning the conversation might be over, and she's probably thinking about shoes, or how she hates her hips or something)Iceman: "Besides, she'd never fuck a dude like me..."Final conversation with (now ex) GF:(ex)GF: "I want my fucking CDs back and my goddamned scented candles!  I hate you you censored asshole!"Iceman: "Not only would I make Shakira squeal like a stuck big, I'd pound each and every woman you ever asked that question about until their vaginas looked like roast-beef sanwiches after a meat-mallet had been taken to them.  Also, you're a whore and I porked your best friend."So, uh....Shakira.  Definitely Shakira.Ice
Ty, roflmao.
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Shakira bothers me due to the whole 'no-talent assclown, but hot, therefore famous' thing, but Fergie looks like a fucking drag queen 30% of the time.Non-drag queen Fergie >>>>> Shakira.Drag queen Fergie << Shakira.

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fergie... she has a look that I just want to fuck the brains out of
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Shakira bothers me due to the whole 'no-talent assclown, but hot, therefore famous' thing, but Fergie looks like a fucking drag queen 30% of the time.Non-drag queen Fergie >>>>> Shakira.Drag queen Fergie << Shakira.
Amen
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Shakira. Dated a girl once who had a fragile ego, and whenever she asked, "Would have you sex with _________?" we had an unwritten agreement that I'd just say, "What? Sheesh, of course not. She's hideous" and then point out some feature that my girlfriend had that was better.Penultimate conversation with GF:(sitting on couch, mesmerized by Shakira 'Whenever, Wherever' video)GF: "Would you have sex with Shakira?"Iceman: "Come on, honey. I love you."GF: "I know, but I wanna know. I don't care. Would you have sex with Shakira?"Iceman: "Honey, don't be so insecure. I will never cheat on you. I love you so much."GF: "Yeah, but what if you wouldn't get caught? Or what if you could immediately go back in time and make it so it never happened?"Iceman: "That second part there doesn't make any sense, but, honey, you're wonderful. Don't worry, beautiful."(pause... glorious, pause, meaning the conversation might be over, and she's probably thinking about shoes, or how she hates her hips or something)Iceman: "Besides, she'd never fuck a dude like me..."Final conversation with (now ex) GF:(ex)GF: "I want my fucking CDs back and my goddamned scented candles! I hate you you censored asshole!"Iceman: "Not only would I make Shakira squeal like a stuck big, I'd pound each and every woman you ever asked that question about until their vaginas looked like roast-beef sanwiches after a meat-mallet had been taken to them. Also, you're a whore and I porked your best friend."So, uh....Shakira. Definitely Shakira.Ice
Best breakup story ever.
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