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About TheIceman05

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    Poker Forum Veteran

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    Cards, Sports, Booze, Women (3/4 are interested in me)
  1. I forgot my MightyLouse password ("Your account has been locked due to excessive password guessing and shiiit and will be unlocked blah blah in 12 minutes!") but I successfully guessed this one before the evil board admin got me.He wanted me to tell everyone he is ok on the off chance anyone was worried. (That seems like a lie. He knew people were worried.) He asked me mention some guys who contacted him but when it became obvious I was acting as his secretary hejust said to say "**** that they know who they are." He is alive and healthy and when I last spoke with him he mentioned how much h
  2. I wanted to make sure I got as many votes in as I could.
  3. I didn't even quote the entire text of the email. I'm very nonfunctional today. Hey D,I was tooling around today and tried to check your blog and instead wound up at that profile you have online at that poker place. I read this:(insert mean thing I said)(insert rest of body of email)
  4. I can't believe I care, or that I'm defending myself:Text of email received from ex:I am assuming that no other girl friends of yours that happen to be exes have hung out with Jeter, and that you must have been referring to me. I really thought that you were my friend, and considered me to be one of yours, however I can't imagine ever describing someone that I care about as "not being a very terrible person." I'm assuming that since you wrote this in reference to me you really don't give a shit how it made me feel, but I just wanted to let you know that it really hurt and confused me to read t
  5. I bet none of you know who MY joke account is.
  6. Not to mention the racial slurs....Did I mention that he's a violent racist? Just terrible. You should hear him talk about anyone darker-skinned than Powder, not to mention anyone foreign. Seriously, it's gotten pretty bad. He's inventing new racial slurs just to keep up with the sickening amount of venom in his heart. A while back I heard him call a Jewish deli owner an "alfalfa-hoarding sturgeon-lover." I mean, that doesn't even make sense. Then he called Jacques Chirac "Pierre Turgeon's Gay Lover."Intervention time?Ice
  7. I don't think you read the bolded part in the OP. We could chalk this up to a number of things, but based on your decision not to swear ("cock, balls"), I'm going to just assume it's "combination learning disorder and legal blindness."But don't worry. Derek's got a mild learning disorder, and he even lives by himself, now! Back on topic, please?Ice
  8. Seriously. He told me he's decided on "Todd" or "McKenzie."Anybody else have anything mean to say about Derek? It doesn't even have to be true. Example:Once, Derek called me all excited and declared, "A while back I fucked a steer; I tell ya it weren't half bad!"I happen to know he's at the bar (it's 6PM on a Friday), so he won't see this until later tonight, when he comes home splotchy drunk. With a skuuuuzz.Ice
  9. TheIceman05

    A Fifth

    Dude, you're such a Darryl. Do you really brag about how much booze you drink on a poker forum? And LIE about it? I'd lay 3-1 you drank 3/4 of a fifth by midnight, threw up, and had 3 natural lights before passing out. I bet that Gorilla Skuzz Bucket I saw you with on MySpace can drink you under the table.... and then have her hairy freakishly-high-volume way with you. Ice
  10. If that was supposed to be some kinda pun, I'm not happy.Derek can take it, he's a big boy. In classic "Derek List Form" here are a few other things about him that blowa) he talks about his facial hair obsessively. seriously, you don't have to mention that you have a beard every other sentence. congratulations on your shitty mustache. here. eat your cookie in the corner and shut up.B) he hasn't answered his cell phone in like 3 years. if he sees a number he doesn't recognize, he'll never answer because there's like a 90% chance he's drunk, and he's worried some skuzzy girl from last week
  11. These are my favorite...Wang: "Yeah, I dropped a bit of the caish last night. I took a few terrible beats. I got all my money in and had a straight, but he caught a runner-runner boat."What really happened? He called a huge overbet preflop all-in with JJ for some dumbass reason or another when the tightest player at the table moved in from UTG+2, and got buzzed by AA.The flop came down KQT. He spiked the bad third of his six outer on the turn when an Ace slid off, but the board paired on the river, so Wang's hand didn't hold up."Yeah, terrible beat. Ass. You got all your money in bad, hit
  12. "Wait wait wait... people actually listen to Shimmering Wang's poker advice?"Local Monkey sees Lexington Steeele vidclip for first time
  13. I was there. I like how he neglects to point out we were with 2 football players, and Graham Brown was with 3 douchebags, and he STILL almost managed to get his head pounded in by one of the randoms. He was so drunk he couldn't keep his fucking filthy mouth shut, and just kept making the situation worse while the real men (not me) handled the situation. You should have heard him tell the story later that week..."So I grabbed Graham by the collar and I says, I says, you listen up, Graham... if you ever touch her again, I'll make you wish you'd never been born. You hear me? Punk??! Yeah...
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