Week One Challenge

[AmScray 355]

I'm entering, I'm competing.My Story: "Welcome To South Shore; It's Like Hawaii". I'll write it later tonight (or maybe not, depends on what mood I'm in)

[mrdannyg 274]

Or, it will have the opposite effect. I believe that was category countercounterargument 3.2.4 from LG.

[vvganeshavv 4]

It's Memorial Day weekend 2004, and in keeping with tradition myself and7 friends head to the Tiki Bar in the Florida Keys.Background:Tiki Bar is a cheap hotel down at the keys (think of a place you'd havea weeklong coke binge at). Other than that minor detail, this hotel hasa great pool with a bar. There is also a sandbar about 1/3 of a mileinto the Ocean. About 50 - 60 boats anchor out there and it's an allout party, alcohol, naked girls, midgets, what more can you ask for?Back to Story:So we're hanging out at the pool and one of my friends, we'll call himJohn for now, meets a chick. He puts in a 1/2 day's worth time and effortinto fucking this chick and his hard work paid off. Though, by the looks of the girl I'mnot sure paid off is the correct term, but that's neither here nor there.He goes back to her room while we all went to smoke a couple of blunts.Being the amazing friends that we are we decided to climb up the outsideof the hotel and take a peek at the action. Luckily for us there was acrack in the curtain giving us a perfect view of what was going oninside.John is standing there a la Capt Morgan (picture it, picture it, ok back to story) getting a blow job from thischick. We watch for a while, make some jokes, but eventually we get bored and head back to thepool. John comes down, sans girl, with a look of awe on his face. Weasked him what was up and all he can say was suitcase.WTF??? Suitcase???Apparently, before John sealed the deal, suitcase (random chick's new name) told himhe had to wait a minute. She laid on the bed and began to pull bags outof her girlie part.1.- pack of 10 Xanis2.- gram of coke3.- gram of potSo during the act John let it slip and called her suitcase. Not exactlysure where he got the name from but apparently she didn't care and theycontinued on.Fast Foward to the following day...Suitcase kept coming around trying to hang out with us (probably the endlesssupply of pot and alcohol we had) but John basically ignored her and told her he didn't want anything to do withher. At one point, another friend actually pushed the girl out of ourdoorway almost flipping her over the railing and told her to leave us alone.They found her dead in her room the next day, she committed suicide, orso we think. There was no note left.Which when you come to think of it, it's a bit selfish....I mean we were left wondering if John's lack of interest afterwards or friend # 2's violent attack had caused her to OD (she probably had issues way beyond anything we brought upon her) But still, the world, even more importantly, we will never know!!

[brvheart 1,752]

Fast Foward to the following day...Suitcase kept coming around trying to hang out with us (probably the endlesssupply of pot and alcohol we had) but John basically ignored her and told her he didn't want anything to do withher. At one point, another friend actually pushed the girl out of ourdoorway almost flipping her over the railing and told her to leave us alone.They found her dead in her room the next day, she committed suicide, orso we think. There was no note left.Which when you come to think of it, it's a bit selfish....I mean we were left wondering if John's lack of interest afterwards or friend # 2's violent attack had caused her to OD (she probably had issues way beyond anything we brought upon her) But still, the world, even more importantly, we will never know!!

HILARIOUS!!! Just the kind of situation Beans is always getting in!

[dolfan 0]

Well, these stories are certainly starting to run the gamut. I did not picture suicide popping up anywhere.

[brvheart 1,752]

Well, these stories are certainly starting to run the gamut. I did not picture suicide popping up anywhere.

Actually, it sounded more like 2nd degree murder to me.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

expressing her joy vocally (not quite verbatim---'oh, yes! that feels exquisite!)

Great story.

[dolfan 0]

Actually, it sounded more like 2nd degree murder to me.

Potato/tomato.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

They found her dead in her room the next day, she committed suicide, orso we think. There was no note left.

The same thing always happens to me. Every time I get some new luggage, it breaks after a day or two of use.

[SBriand 4]

The same thing always happens to me. Every time I get some new luggage, it breaks after a day or two of use.

http://www.ilovewavs.com/Effects/Music/Sou...-%20Rimshot.wav

[Sal Paradise 57]

HILARIOUS!!! Just the kind of situation Beans is always getting in!

let's not forget "call rick for help." not all beans stories are puppies and lollipops.

[speedz99 145]

Samsonite would've been better.

[sandwedge 30]

It was pre 9-11, back in the day when you could have a little fun at the airport without worrying about going to jail or being placed on a top secret government watchlist. My old college friend, Steve, needed a ride to the airport and since I had nothing better to do than drink a couple of beers and do some people watching, I volunteered.After hitting the airport bar, we made it to his gate with time to spare. It turned out that his flight was “slightly delayed” due to some scheduling problems with Air-Tran’s crews. As the time passed by, it became obvious that several of that carrier’s flights were having the same problem.After about an hour, and several announcements about there being a slight delay, a small group of disgruntled passengers began to form in front of the gate’s podium. It was time to play one of our favorite games – Incite the crowd and get a free freak show. The key to this game is to quietly lead from behind. Don’t make a scene yourself, just entice those around you to show their true nature.It had worked about a year earlier. After a similar delay, a cocky, very youthful appearing pilot had finally shown up for the flight. Steve mumbled something about how young the pilot looked, and before long an angry mob was demanding to see the pilot’s ID to prove that he was old enough to fly the plane.Without a word of planning, Steve and I took up different positions in the group, and quietly mumbled things to get the crowd going. “Lies… they’re telling lies”, he would say. From several feet away, I would add, “Somebody should do something about this.” My favorite line was, “I can’t believe they’re doing this to us”, since I wasn’t even on the flight.To our dismay, we just couldn’t work the group into a frenzy. After several minutes, Steve took a seat next to a disgruntled looking middle aged man. I waited a couple of minutes and took the other open seat next to the guy. This poor guy had no idea that he was about to get a healthy dose of manipulation. “Why do they keep lying to us?” Steve would say from the guy’s left. “I might have to give them a piece of my mind”, I would reply from the guy’s right. Several more minutes passed, and while the guy was fuming and we seemed to be pushing the correct buttons, we just couldn’t get him to act.Steve finally announced that, since the wait was going to continue, he was heading to the bathroom. That just left me and the guy. I was out of material, so I just sat quietly, occasionally acting frustrated and shaking my head.Without any warning whatsoever, the guy stood up and marched over to the podium. I watched the poor gate attendant’s eyes widen as the guy unleashed a stream of obscenities torward her. The show was enhanced by his beet-red face and arms flailing wildly from his body. I turned around to look for Steve, but he was nowhere to be seen. I sat, astonished, as the guy finished his tirade and walked back to his seat. We didn’t speak.A couple of minutes passed, and Steve returned, completely unaware that he had missed watching the fruits of our labor. Steve resumed his position on the other side of the guy. “I can’t believe all of these lies”, he mumbled, “Somebody really needs to let them have it.” I avoided eye contact with both of them, for fear that I would fall in the floor laughing.

[vvganeshavv 4]

Samsonite would've been better.

yeah it would have!!!But my friend smokes a lot of pot, and well, you can't expect much from him in the witty department!

[AmScray 355]

Coming Soon...

[LadyGrey 6]

Coming Soon...

Good to see you're really stepping out of your box for the contest, Scram. Did you post your story for week one yet? I don't remember seeing it.

[Theraflu 1,035]

Good to see you're really stepping out of your box for the contest, Scram. Did you post your story for week one yet? I don't remember seeing it.

My guess is that's what "coming soon" meant.

[LadyGrey 6]

My guess is that's what "coming soon" meant.

I thought he was referring to the cartoon he posted, meaning he was working on the cartoon for week 3. ~*~My mistake~*~

[Balloon guy 158]

Coming Soon...

You know Todd Bridges?I didn't know we could name drop...

[Randy Reed 0]

Geez, I have not had time to write my entry. I'm pretty stymied on which one to even type, not that any of them would be winners but the choices are down to having sperm cell races in a motel room with twins (while doing acid) or bringing a Puerto Rican home for a souvenier.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

All I can say is..WOW! Y'all is in da groove! LOL! Earlier today while campaigning for the contest, I ran into a group of folks from Italy who heard about it all the way over there! LOL! What are the odds? All I can say is that my manager is doing a tremendous job. Doin it for the homey. Word. Huh. I'm so excited I could shit. WHOOPS! LOL!Y'all out there in internet land who ain't got around to posting a story yet better get around to it real soon, cause the deadline is just around the corner. LOL! I can't reinforce enough how important it is to submit your entry before the deadline. They dont call it a deadline fer nuthin! LOL! Frankly, lets be honest here for a minute. I want to make sure y'all have the chance to be my protege. I mean, frankly, who in their right mind would not want to be??? LOL!Right now I feel like the Bandit driving the black TransAm from Georgia to Texarkana. Wind blowin' my hairs from forward to backward thru t-tops powered by a four hundred cubic inch small block! LOL! BREAKER ONE! BREAKER ONE! THIS IS THE BANDIT IS THE SNOWMAN OUT THERE? LOL! I GOT ME A MESS A FOLKS ON MY TAIL AND ONLY ONE CAN BE MY PROTEGE! LOL! Frankly, I've been cranking up the rad toon "East Bound and Down" downloaded in my IPod to get in the groove for the next segment of the protege contest. I just feel so invincible! Whew, I think I just came or something! LOL!Currently, Im chillin here in the suite waiting on the fried pork chops and t-bones I ordered from room service a few minutes ago. Luckily, here in the Orient, they actually have food that I can eat instead of that rabbit food that most places I go to have. I bet Shane seventeen million bucks that they wouldn't get here in two minutes and he booked it. What a fool. LOL! And that's on top of the ninety million prop bet on the outcome of the protege contest! LOL! Its just so sick.I gotta get goin now since tomorrow is the big day and all. I ordered my biz team to wake me up bright and early around noon so I could start combing my hair for the press that sure to break down my door for the results! LOL! Frankly, I'm getting plumb exhausted just thinking about it!Peace

[qyayqi 11]

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[leftygolfer 7]

I have met BG.He has more teeth hair

[vbnautilus 48]

The Adventures of Mr. BussyIt was 1998. I was living on the Venice boardwalk with two friends, Dane and Steve. This period in the Nautilus household was like the 1960s of our lives: we were doing lots of psychedelics, playing music on the boardwalk, painting a lot, etc. In fact, we kind of took the sixties thing literally. One day it was decided that we needed to have a Volkswagen Bus to carry us through our various adventures. The very next day Steve noticed a little brown microbus parked in the lot across from our balcony, with a sign: For Sale. We considered it a sign. Not the For Sale sign – well, that was a sign – but this bus clearly wanted to be ours and appeared at just the right time. We wandered down to the parking lot and found the owner, an old scruffy 49er type with a beard. “Hey… how much for the bus?”(makes motion with hands)“Uh… yeah…how much for the bus man?”(makes another motion with his hands)At this point Dane is motioning back at him in some kind of dance. I think Dane’s acid from the night before hadn’t quite worn off yet and he was trying to resonate with the guy on a physical plane. “Dane, I believe this gentleman is deaf.”(49er nods happily and ruffles through the bus for pen and paper while Dane continues his dance)We learned on paper that the bus was a 1972 model and had spent its entire life in California, the price was cheap, and it seemed to have all of its parts – well, most of them -- so the only thing left was to make sure it ran. We climbed in the back and the 49er took the wheel. The engine sputtered but started, and as he pulled out on to the main street without looking, three cars swerved out of the way to avoid us, horns blazing. Steve, looking white-faced, madly searching for a seat-belt (there weren’t any): “Is this guy deaf or blind?!”Dane: “SHhhhhH!”Steve: "WATCH THE -- ITS A RED LIGHT!!"VB: “…""He can’t hear us. Or the sound that engine is making right now. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea…”But the appearance of the bus right on our doorstep was too serendipitous to ignore. We pulled back into the parking lot hearts racing, and a few minutes later the title had been transferred. Mr. Bussy was ours. <to be continued>

[vbnautilus 48]

The first order of business was to give Mr. Bussy a makeover. We painted him bright orange, added some shag carpeting, and re-covered the seats. As for the engine, it did makes lots of unusual noises, but none of us had any idea about engines, and we were just proud that it had two carburetors – two sounds better than one!Now that Mr. Bussy was looking great, where else would he take us first but San Francisco? We put on our best vertically striped pants and piled in to the bus. He put in a heroic effort hauling us up north, creaking up the grapevine in the right lane at speeds exceeding 45 mph. At one point the crosswinds were so strong that Dane had trouble holding us on the road, so we opened the windows to let the breeze come through. Our friends lived at the top of a hill in Twin Peaks, and we made it all the way up, even though this required everyone to lean forward for certain stretches. We were so proud of Mr. Bussy for making this journey. The weekend was your typical San Francisco weekend. There were at least two transsexuals staying in the house, and no one knows exactly what happened during those two days but we are sure we had a great time and were soon on our way back home to Venice. An hour or so into the trip, right in the middle of the second repetition of Lucy in The Sky With Diamonds, “There’s something wrong.” “Why?”“I…uh…. don’t think Mr. Bussy wants to go any further”Dane pulled over to the side of the road in the middle of a big stretch of absolutely nothing. While he and I stared into the engine compartment, studying the mess of wires and grease, and discussing which ones might be in the wrong places, Steve was elsewhere. We figured if one carburetor went out, the other one should have kicked in. Steve: “I think I have found the problem.”“What is it?!”“I’m pretty sure that wheel is supposed to be connected to the bus.”“…”Sure enough, the front left wheel was completely disconnected from the axle, hanging off the side of the bus. There we were, stranded in Los Baños, California, with only three wheels.