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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I agree with your last page rants. All good stuff. But I also agree with Shake that you are gonna get worse once you start living alone, in the sense of being a hermit. Hope you don't.

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You have no idea what you are talking about. This girl only calls when she is drunk to talk about herself or some guy she likes. Wants me to mow her lawn and pick her up when she needs a ride but won't text me before that night began to come out? That ain't friendship. I just quit being pathetic enough to do it.

 

My roommate goes out all the time and doesn't ask me to go. So I'm supposed to drop down and thank brvy I was invited to hang out at the pool right next to my apartment because I walked by when they were out there already. Where was my text saying come down or where you at or whatever. It was up their asses is where.

 

Nah man they aren't my friends so they can eat a dick.

I mean really though. Calling someone for a ride when drunk is the height of doucheness if you would never invite them to begin the night. I I stopped taking that drunken call or responding to that drunk text and guess what, we never saw each other, because we aren't friends.

 

And another thing, a more serious thing. She knew the whole time that the bitch wasn't ever really interested in me and that she fvcked some guy while we were studying for the bar exam. Where's my goddamn warning? Wheres my heads up? No where because she wasn't my friend then or now. So fvck her, fvck that bitch for leading me on and fvck them all for being the whiny cocksucking faggotous cvnts they are.

 

I'm tired of being understanding. I told her that her boyfriend wasn't going to propose. I told her he told me that because I thought she was my friend and deserved to know and the whole time she knows things I should know about that bitch leading me on and doesn't tell me. Fvck that shit, she can get bent.

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as a misogynistic, misanthropic, semi-hermit, i have one strong word of advice:

 

get a pet, preferably a mammal. if not a mammal, a reptile. if not a reptile, a fish. if you can't be bothered with something from the animal kingdom at least get a plant. but if you do get a plant, make it something that requires some attention to thrive, no cheating and getting a fucking cactus.

 

point is, you need something alive in your place besides you. if you don't have that you will quickly become homicidal/suicidal, for realz.

 

i mean, even shake has his pet black widows.

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I agree with SA on this one. Recently we were at a baseball game with a bunch of kids from our league. Later in the game when people cleared out my boy saw some friends from school a few rows back and asked if he could go sit with them. Of course I let him. About 15 minutes later he comes back and he's fighting back tears. I ask him if he wants to talk, he says "no". So I let it go for a bit, finally when he's sucked it up, he lets me know that his two "friends" told him he's not in the special club and can't sit with them. They were playing some iPhone game and weren't even watching the baseball game.

 

I told him basically what Austin just said. **** them, they are not your friends if they treat you that way. There are 20 other kids here that like you, spend time with them not those assholes.

 

I would spank my kids for an hour if they ever treated anyone like that. I hate those kids' parents way worse than the kids.

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Do you believe that you can now and always will be able to control how your kids act? Like, you firmly believe that none of your twelve kids will ever try drugs, cavort with the opposite sex, misbehave or just be "preacher's kids" in general?

 

 

Also, you spank your kids? Isn't that frowned upon these days?

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I would spank my kids for an hour if they ever treated anyone like that. I hate those kids' parents way worse than the kids.

 

Who spanks you when you treat people like that?

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hank you need to get out more.

 

why? my twice annual outings are quite enough for me thanks. furthermore, you can begin to advise me on social matters the day after your sexual conquest count cannot be counted on one hand.

 

You didn't post in this thread in 2009.

 

so we do want a repeat of 2009?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

just hackin' on ya is all. don't shoot me suited.

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hank i'm going to shoot you.

 

edit: damn, didn't see that white text. i guess i can't shoot you.

 

as an "attorney" you should know, it's all about the fine print. or lemon juice as the case may be.

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