Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

well beans, I of course went against your advice and used that silicone tape to seal up the hole in my water line. so far it's holding up without any leak at all. I'm sure you're right and it won't last long at all, but hell, a lazy negro can dream can't he?hopefully it'll hold up long enough for me to somehow be able to afford paying somebody to dig it up and replace it, cause I mean, it would be a lot of work and I just don't want to do it. we shall see.or maybe all I really have to do is wait for strategy to get fired from the bank and we can move into an apartment in raleigh together. and live webcam it! wackyness!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

Let's just say that I'm drinker than who shit in the ditch
I'll be using that one.
since I broke my what do you call it... uh...my promise?
Love it.
here's the much anticipated remarks I had on this strategy post!it's right here:ok, so this doesn't really sound that bad actually.
Heh.Went to a show last night, saw The National. I've got to say, I'm kind of against a lot of things that hipsters represent, but some of their bands are pretty impressive. One of the best performances I've seen.Edit: I have Chipotle in my house. Sometimes I'll grab a burrito bowl to go and a tortilla (un-heated, otherwise it gets stale), and whenever I'm ready I'll mix it up, microwave it, microwave the tortilla under plastic wrap, and put it together myself. It works out really well, especially if it's on a night when I want to have a few drinks before eating, and usually you get a bigger burrito that way. The more you know.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Not trying to sound suspicious or confrontational or anything but... who are you and how do you know so much about Parliament?
Loads of people work on the Parliamentary Estate every weekday. From Millbank offices to Norman Shaw buildings to Canon Row, to Parliament St to Portcullis House to Derby Gate. And that's before the Palace itself....It's not that exclusive a club really. I used to work there for several years. I don't any more....
Link to post
Share on other sites
Went to a show last night, saw The National. I've got to say, I'm kind of against a lot of things that hipsters represent, but some of their bands are pretty impressive. One of the best performances I've seen.
I was JUST listening to them while cutting grass a few minutes ago! craaaazy!but now that you mention chipotle, I'm not sure what I'm going to do for dinner. been cutting grass so I'm already 3 beers deep (that's 12 beers to you beans) so I'm hesitant to go out to get something, but I think that's the most logical choice. basically what I'm saying is, is that I wish we had a fucking chipotle in my town. hell I'd be ecstatic for a taco bell right now. yes, we don't even have a taco bell in my town. fuck off.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes I would choose making my own tacos over the fast food options anyway. The 'do it yourself' boxes from Ortego, Old El Paso, etc., are really pretty easy. One of those, ground beef, lettuce, tomatos, sour cream, and cheese. Easy shopping trip, easy to cook, fun to devour. I'm too full, that was a huge burrito.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I had hamburger helper. It made quite the great meal.
I dunno why they call it hamburger helper...Does just fine by itselfBoy was I drunk last night. Not much less so this morning when I woke up on the basement floorI hope it works at least through the winter, sal... Nothings worse than chiseling frozen dirtI wish I'd prayed to the plumbing gods last night while projectile vomiting in the general direction of the toiletNot that it would have worked... I woke up alive after allAll is good now though.... I just need to piece together how the stoplight ended up in the shop. Hopefully I bought it or someone gave it to meI'm too scared to look see if the boom truck has been used
Link to post
Share on other sites

Since I have a few minutes to spare before block sanding fresh primer, Ill share a quick story about an on/off employee Ive had over the years...Lets call him Bruce. Thats his name, anywayA few moons back, Bruce called me collect after being missing in action for eight days..."Hey there, Beans""Hey there....where ya been?""Ah... damn cops threw me an dad in jail over in Huntsville""What for?""Ah....said we were a grown pot in the national forest""Were you?""Absolutely not....didnt even know it was there""That sucks""Yeah... I was wonderin...could you come over tomorrow and talk to these guys with me?""Sounds like you need a lawyer to assist with that""I got me one and hes gonna be there too....I just need somebody around to...you know.... maybe put in a good word or somethin"After his time was up, I called over to the courthouse and spoke with the sheriff, who at the time was a notorious scoundrel that just so happened to be a hunting buddy of mine. He agreed to let me sit in and observe matters...(Prosecutor sitting behind desk)"Now Bruce.... did you have any knowledge of the marijuana growing on the land behind your property?""No, sir...no idea at all"(man reaches in desk and pulls out a photograph)"Is this you?"(shows pic of Bruce standing on hillside looking over several acres of pot)"....looks sorta like me... but if I did see it....I didnt know what the stuff was""Ok.... have you ever cultivated, watered, or taken care of any marijuana on the property behind yours?""Absolutely not.... I wouldnt even begin to know how to"(Man reaches into desk and pulls out photos of Bruce using a tiller and weeding plants with a hoe)"Uh... that was the day that me an some friends were a making a deer plot for huntin season""Alright... have you ever harvested, dried, and processed marijuana from the property behind yours?""No, si....."(Beans pipes up)"Hey Bruce...you know hes about to pull out another picture of you doing it....you'd better quit the bullshit before he pulls one out of you screwing a goat or something"(laughs)He went away for five years for that one. Decent guy, though...at the moment hes baling hay down by the river...Good worker, tooNot only can he grow tomatoes the size of cantaloupes, but he now has such a keen eye that he can spot a surveillance camera a mile away...Five will get you ten that he finds the fake one screwed to the tree that I placed next to the field yesterday

Link to post
Share on other sites

I came up to the Ames this weekend and the plan was to tailgate and then go to a bar with my friend because we didn't have tickets and didn't want to spen $70 for crappy hillside tickets. But then my buddy who screwed me by not telling ms when he was getting season tickets had an extra ticket since another friend cancelled and so I ditched my friend and went to the game instead. Pretty solid tickets in the south endzone bleachers. The bars were craz last night and most of the Iowa contingent went home, which was nice. Also, you're not helping to disprove the most heard remark yesterday after the game "yeah, well, ISU girls are still ugly"

Link to post
Share on other sites
I wonder what Zimmer had. And if he ever got laid. Or, wait, did he? Maybe he did.
he did, and he made a bunch of money at poker and I think has a career in financial advising now that you can't play online anymore.whenever I get sad, I look at this mildly nsfw album arthope you guys had a great 9/11, I know I did
Link to post
Share on other sites
Yeah, he didnt have a clue about how to properly install it. I did it for him. He left here drunk as a skunk and the stairs were perfect....he lost at least a hundred in the game
god damn it I love beans more than pizza
whenever I get sad, I look at this mildly nsfw album art
Not clicking that link has in no way diminished my enjoyment of this post.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Not clicking that link has in no way diminished my enjoyment of this post.
FYI, it's not even close to NSFW. The "worst" part is two fully clothed pregnant women.
Link to post
Share on other sites
FYI, it's not even close to NSFW. The "worst" part is two fully clothed pregnant women.
like, if my boss saw that on my screen, I think he'd have some words for me. true, there's no female nudity, but NSFW isn't so strictly defined.boy, now I've reminded myself of the
...
Link to post
Share on other sites
like, if my boss saw that on my screen, I think he'd have some words for me. true, there's no female nudity, but NSFW isn't so strictly defined.
I definitely wasn't talking to you. I appreciated your specific warning. I just wanted to let DA know that he probably didn't need to wait until he got home. Also: being a teller isn't great, start putting in apps. (My guy left his job, but I could still help you get on somewhere else in the finance/insurance business)
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...