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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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hey beans, I just want to comment here that just because people don't very often respond to your posts doesn't mean that people don't like them. quite the contrary actually. beans' stories are still my favorite part of the thread, it's just, I mean how do you comment on an exploding arrow story?and wang is kinda like dennis. I'd say more psycho though.

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Game. Match the random, unprompted text I received today to the sender.1) 515PM "You are a Jew."2) 9AM "Hey you are probably still asleep but call me when you get up. I want to bet on the Rangers today."3) 7PM "Was it you who told me the story about how you lost all that money betting on the actor who played the Grandfather in 'Problem Child?'" 701PM "If so, that's really funny. If not, I've got a really funny story for you."4) 3PM "I think I've asked you before, but I don't remember. How do you feel about dirty talk and racy text messages?"5) 11PM "Hey who was it that blasted Willie Roaf's wife and got her pregnant? It was Joe Horn right?"6) 1PM "I figured it out by the way. It's that guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dennis I think. You remind me of a less psycho Dennis."
1) Kissyface2) Kayla3) Dad4) Brett Favre5) Maggie6) Kayla
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I will never complain about having a bad week again in my life.One of my best friends, who I podcast with, has a sister-in-law whose week I don't envy.She is a new mother and nurse. They live in Oklahoma City in a nice neighborhood, but have been planning for months to move to San Diego this coming Monday.This last Monday she was leaving the house to run errands, and a man entered her garage, while she was holding her baby. He stabbed her in the stomach with a screwdriver, causing her to drop her baby, and tried to steal her car. A passing motorist heard her screams and stopped. The man then ran away. She left the screwdriver in her stomach until the ambulance came.Yesterday, just a few seconds after her husband left for work, the same man broke into their house and raped her while saying "you shouldn'tof told on me".Last Friday she lost her job, with a doctor, for giving a patient the wrong medication, which caused an allergic reaction, killing the patient.

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Wang, give me a few hours to guess before you give us the answers...I'm studying with people, can't take the time to sit and think about it at the moment, but I want to see how I do...at least see if I can do better than everyone else.

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be careful using google like that. the "clowns will eat me" line, I was led astray by a band that had made a song with a slightly different title that was trumping the actual quote. one of the worst days of my life.

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be careful using google like that. the "clowns will eat me" line, I was led astray by a band that had made a song with a slightly different title that was trumping the actual quote. one of the worst days of my life.
As it should be. But I did say preliminary. By the way, your typing expertise is requested in the facebook thread.
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Is that true about Willie Roaf and Joe Horn? I don't remember hearing anything about that.Edit: Preliminary indications point toward yes.2zf0ldh.jpg2nd Edit: I never know when to use "toward" or "towards," so I always use toward. It's a funny word when you say it a lot.
Yeah it's true. It's why he left the Saints. It's also one of my favorite things ever.
Wang, give me a few hours to guess before you give us the answers...I'm studying with people, can't take the time to sit and think about it at the moment, but I want to see how I do...at least see if I can do better than everyone else.
sure thing. I won't give answers until tomorrow afternoon.
be careful using google like that. the "clowns will eat me" line, I was led astray by a band that had made a song with a slightly different title that was trumping the actual quote. one of the worst days of my life.
You might not believe me, but I had, almost exactly, the exact same experience. My blood pressure went up by 10% for 3 hours.
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Yeah it's true. It's why he left the Saints. It's also one of my favorite things ever.
There's going to be a movie made about those Yankee pitchers who basically traded families, possibly the directorial debut for Matt Damon. I saw this tidbit while googling about that movie:Over the course of his career, Matt Damon has worked with the Coens, Steven Soderbergh, Clint Eastwood, Paul Greengrass, Martin Scorsese, Terry Gilliam, Gus Van Sant, and Steven Spielberg.That's quite a list.
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Game. Match the random, unprompted text I received today to the sender.1) 515PM "You are a Jew."2) 9AM "Hey you are probably still asleep but call me when you get up. I want to bet on the Rangers today."3) 7PM "Was it you who told me the story about how you lost all that money betting on the actor who played the Grandfather in 'Problem Child?'" 701PM "If so, that's really funny. If not, I've got a really funny story for you."4) 3PM "I think I've asked you before, but I don't remember. How do you feel about dirty talk and racy text messages?"5) 11PM "Hey who was it that blasted Willie Roaf's wife and got her pregnant? It was Joe Horn right?"6) 1PM "I figured it out by the way. It's that guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dennis I think. You remind me of a less psycho Dennis."DadJennyKaylaKissyfaceMaggie
1. Kayla2. Kissyface3. Dad4. Maggie5. Kayla6. Jenny
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There's going to be a movie made about those Yankee pitchers who basically traded families, possibly the directorial debut for Matt Damon. I saw this tidbit while googling about that movie:Over the course of his career, Matt Damon has worked with the Coens, Steven Soderbergh, Clint Eastwood, Paul Greengrass, Martin Scorsese, Terry Gilliam, Gus Van Sant, and Steven Spielberg.That's quite a list.
que?
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My son is very accurate when drawing pictures of his teacher.Photo_10.jpg
haha, She's a brunette that got a little to close to the popcorn machine and has little boobs.
I will never complain about having a bad week again in my life.One of my best friends, who I podcast with, has a sister-in-law whose week I don't envy.She is a new mother and nurse. They live in Oklahoma City in a nice neighborhood, but have been planning for months to move to San Diego this coming Monday.This last Monday she was leaving the house to run errands, and a man entered her garage, while she was holding her baby. He stabbed her in the stomach with a screwdriver, causing her to drop her baby, and tried to steal her car. A passing motorist heard her screams and stopped. The man then ran away. She left the screwdriver in her stomach until the ambulance came.Yesterday, just a few seconds after her husband left for work, the same man broke into their house and raped her while saying "you shouldn'tof told on me".Last Friday she lost her job, with a doctor, for giving a patient the wrong medication, which caused an allergic reaction, killing the patient.
Yikes, that's pretty rough. She really needs to focus on the bright side of life. Not sure what that is other than San Diego having nice weather though. Beach? Meh, maybe she should just hunt down the rapist and shoot him with a flaming arrow and sell the movie rights.1.SH2.Sh3.P4.IM75.L6.R
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I think Jenny for number 4 is too obvious.
Yeah, I know, but I don't really know much about her personality, so I didn't know where else to throw her. Plus, even though it's obvious, it's still interesting.
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1. Maggie 2. Dad 3. Maggie 4. Jenny 5. Kissyface 6. Kayla
1) Kayla. (This one would have been a gimme if you knew her)2) Jenny. (A guy she knows wanted to make a bet, and she mentioned that her boyfriend is a bookie. I think she's kind of proud.)3) Dad. (Yes. It was me who lost a week's salary betting on the grandfather from Problem Child. I was just so sure)4) Maggie. (She and Boom Herron are apparently dealing with the distance this way.)5) Kissy Face. (I get one of these a day.)6) Jenny. (She loves me.)
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