I Called In Sick Today

[El Guapo 8]

In other news, I feel like someone just handed me $6,500.00!Home Tax Credit Extension

[Tactical Bear 3]

Maybe what the issue here is defined by the perception of "cool".

Cool in the original, classic sense of the word. Not "this guy is good at something I like" (see: Gaiman, Neil; Yorke, Thom) or "this guy is somebody that is very rich and successful."If the President wishes to step in and overrule me here -- or help to clarify a bit -- he should, but cool is some combination of the following things:- Socially grace; effortless smoothness- Charisma- Skill- Composure- Ability to inspire envy- Physically attractiveness- Sex appeal- Power- Total Fucking AwesomenessThere are some intangibles in there, too, but coolness is a kind of "maaaaaan, I wanna be him or be around him, and pretty much everyone else does, too."Look, Peyton Manning is a great Quarterback, and he's good under pressure, but he's kind of a fucking dork. Tom Brady is a worse Quarterback, but he's incredibly good looking, well-dressed, and he exudes an aura of comfortable elegance and style that Peyton Manning will never, ever have. If we took away "good quarterback" from Manning and Brady, only the latter would have a chance of being totally awesome. Jack Nicholson has been doing whatever the **** he wants in Hollywood for 4 decades. He's incredibly talented, iconographic, and has been ****ing hot bitches for 40-fucking-years. He has courtside seats to Lakers games, and sometimes goes onto the floor to argue. There are prop bets at legitimate sports-betting sites regarding whether or not he will be assessed a technical foul during Lakers playoff series. Studios have to schedule around Lakers homestands, because he will not skip a game to work. He is utterly, without-a-doubt, one of the coolest men on the planet. Mark Cuban is powerful and rich and smart. I wish I were Mark Cuban. But he's a dork. I'd trade places with him in a millisecond, because I think he is awesome. But he is NOT cool. He is loud and obnoxious and sloppy and all sorts of other things that are the antithesis of cool. Many people think I am funny and fun to hang out with. I have some charisma. When I clean up, I'm not a bad looking guy. But I'm nowhere NEAR THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF COOL. I am too awkward and goofy and harsh and self-conscious and all sorts of other things that mean I am, and will never be, cool.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

If the President wishes to step in and overrule me here -- or help to clarify a bit -- he should, but cool is some combination of the following things:- Socially grace; effortless smoothness- Charisma- Skill- Composure- Ability to inspire envy- Physically attractiveness- Sex appeal- Power- Total Fucking AwesomenessThere are some intangibles in there, too, but coolness is a kind of "maaaaaan, I wanna be him or be around him, and pretty much everyone else does, too."

I approve this message.

[Tiltinagain 973]

I was looking for a pic with which to nominate Kid Rock and, while this one probably isn'tthe best choice for a coolness contest, it did make me chuckle.

[SBriand 4]

I don't even know what to say to people who question Jack.

sorry, what I was saying was that I haven't seen Jack around much lately. I have no issue with him ending up the winner of this thing to be quite honest as I love almost all of Jacks work. I was just merely asking if he was still cool in the sense that , well he might be old and completely losing it. Though in retrospect, he probably would still be cool with Alzheimers.

[El Guapo 8]

I approve this message.

I think you are supposed to sign it into law. Or something.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

He looks kinda gross here, but still, you know...

[Tactical Bear 3]

I'd also like to add something that is going to be semi-controversial, but is meant with no disrespect at all:Masculinity is almost a requirement for coolness. Generally, femininity is uncool, even in women. There may be some homosexual men who are epicly sweet and cool, but they've got to overcome some the "I am effeminate" thing. Coolness is just a masculine quality.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Masculinity is almost a requirement for coolness. Generally, femininity is uncool, even in women.

Right, the women who are considered cool are the ones that do guy things.

[Tiltinagain 973]

I'd also like to add something that is going to be semi-controversial, but is meant with no disrespect at all:Masculinity is almost a requirement for coolness. Generally, femininity is uncool, even in women. There may be some homosexual men who are epicly sweet and cool, but they've got to overcome some the "I am effeminate" thing. Coolness is just a masculine quality.

So you prefer masculine women? One of the things that makes a woman sexy to me is her femininity. That combined with confidence = cool.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

So you prefer masculine women? One of the things that makes a woman sexy to me is her femininity. That combined with confidence = cool.

Sexy and cool aren't the same thing. I have no problem saying that confidence is sexy. Who is an example of a cool woman to you?

[Tactical Bear 3]

So you prefer masculine women? One of the things that makes a woman sexy to me is her femininity. That combined with confidence = cool.

I do not prefer masculine women. I prefer:A woman who is a 1/1 on my attractiveness scale.A woman who is a 1/1 on my intelligence scale.A woman who is a 1/1 on my sanity scale.A woman who is a 1/1 on my "thinks Shimmering Wang is funny" scale.A woman who is a 1/1 on my "thinks Shimmering Wang is dateable" scale. (Also known as: the insecurity/desperation scale.)A woman who many some of the same things I do -- loyalty, honesty, etc.A woman who is a interesting. I have dated some beautiful women, and I tend to be attracted to some very feminine qualities in women. I usually don't like aggression, and extreme levels of confidence tend to bother me if expressed in certain ways. I have dated some very beautiful, smart, fascinating women, but they are NOT cool. Having them on my arm makes me appear waaaaay cooler, but "pretty and smart and confident" is just "sexy," or "attractive." It is not "cool."The bolded portion just makes her someone you want to date. We're trying to define the word "cool" as narrowly as we can, here (and even so, it's very subjective and vague), and I think the traits we tend to associate with "cool" are masculine, even if we can agree it is silly to get caught up in "machoness" and all that. I'm uncool, in large part, because I'm not exactly the most masculine guy in the world. I'm okay with that. It's who I am, and it doesn't bother me, but I am... uncool.Beans. Now Beans is fucking cool. He's the coolest member of the Sick Thread, and I don't think there would be any arguments on that point at all.

[LadyGrey 6]

Who is an example of a cool woman to you?

Ahem.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Ahem.

Well, that would be a point in my favor I think. Because you can come in here with a bunch of guys and trade barbs with the best of them. That's more of a guy thing.I don't think people would characterize your love of kittens as what makes you cool (except speedz).

[Nikki_N 17]

Cool in the original, classic sense of the word. Not "this guy is good at something I like" (see: Gaiman, Neil; Yorke, Thom) or "this guy is somebody that is very rich and successful."If the President wishes to step in and overrule me here -- or help to clarify a bit -- he should, but cool is some combination of the following things:- Socially grace; effortless smoothness- Charisma- Skill- Composure- Ability to inspire envy- Physically attractiveness- Sex appeal- Power- Total Fucking AwesomenessThere are some intangibles in there, too, but coolness is a kind of "maaaaaan, I wanna be him or be around him, and pretty much everyone else does, too."Look, Peyton Manning is a great Quarterback, and he's good under pressure, but he's kind of a fucking dork. Tom Brady is a worse Quarterback, but he's incredibly good looking, well-dressed, and he exudes an aura of comfortable elegance and style that Peyton Manning will never, ever have. If we took away "good quarterback" from Manning and Brady, only the latter would have a chance of being totally awesome. Jack Nicholson has been doing whatever the **** he wants in Hollywood for 4 decades. He's incredibly talented, iconographic, and has been ****ing hot bitches for 40-fucking-years. He has courtside seats to Lakers games, and sometimes goes onto the floor to argue. There are prop bets at legitimate sports-betting sites regarding whether or not he will be assessed a technical foul during Lakers playoff series. Studios have to schedule around Lakers homestands, because he will not skip a game to work. He is utterly, without-a-doubt, one of the coolest men on the planet. Mark Cuban is powerful and rich and smart. I wish I were Mark Cuban. But he's a dork. I'd trade places with him in a millisecond, because I think he is awesome. But he is NOT cool. He is loud and obnoxious and sloppy and all sorts of other things that are the antithesis of cool. Many people think I am funny and fun to hang out with. I have some charisma. When I clean up, I'm not a bad looking guy. But I'm nowhere NEAR THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF COOL. I am too awkward and goofy and harsh and self-conscious and all sorts of other things that mean I am, and will never be, cool.

I guess I have to agree on the criteria. I totally agree on Jack. I just hate Tom Brady.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Sexy and cool aren't the same thing. I have no problem saying that confidence is sexy. Who is an example of a cool woman to you?

I want an answer to this question from everyone. I've got a few ideas, but I'd just as soon not share them yet. What am I again? Speaker of the House? I just think Joey and I should work in the same branch of the government. If not, I should be a Supreme Court justice, because I'm probably best know for:- "Writing"- Long-winded analysis- Arguing- Being able to disappear for months at a time, come back, and nobody can do anything about it because I'm basically on the bench for life and all of you know it and fuck you.I will hire you to clerk for me if you want, CaneBrain.

[Nikki_N 17]

Beans. Now Beans is fucking cool. He's the coolest member of the Sick Thread, and I don't think there would be any arguments on that point at all.

Amen to that. I'm biased though, because I'm a big ole dork when it comes to Beans.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I guess I have to agree on the criteria. I totally agree on Jack. I just hate Tom Brady.

I might kind of hate Johnny Depp, but he was one of my submissions. He's just... so cool. I think we can all be trusted to be objective about this, and leave personal biases aside for the most part. Like, LLY agreed, despite his (and my) enduring and permanent love for Radiohead, they don't really get to be on the list, because, you know, they are dorks. I love the works of Neil Gaiman, George RR Martin, and Stephen King, but any of those guys cool? Nope.Hunter S. Thompson. Now he is fucking cool.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I want an answer to this question from everyone. I've got a few ideas, but I'd just as soon not share them yet.

If we were playing that game where you just have to say the first thing that comes to mind, I'd say Sarah Silverman. I'm not totally convinced that's the right answer.

- Being able to disappear for months at a time, come back, and nobody can do anything about it because I'm basically on the bench for life and all of you know it and fuck you.

Ha.

Hunter S. Thompson. Now he is fucking cool.

And dead too. He is dead, right? I crossed him off the list already.

[CaneBrain 95]

I want an answer to this question from everyone. I've got a few ideas, but I'd just as soon not share them yet. What am I again? Speaker of the House? I just think Joey and I should work in the same branch of the government. If not, I should be a Supreme Court justice, because I'm probably best know for:- "Writing"- Long-winded analysis- Arguing- Being able to disappear for months at a time, come back, and nobody can do anything about it because I'm basically on the bench for life and all of you know it and fuck you.I will hire you to clerk for me if you want, CaneBrain.

I'm the AG! Get SuitedAces to clerk for you, he is in law school.LG is almost too cool. I don't like my women to be that cool.

[Tiltinagain 973]

Sexy and cool aren't the same thing. I have no problem saying that confidence is sexy. Who is an example of a cool woman to you?

[JoeyJoJo 18]

If we were playing that game where you just have to say the first thing that comes to mind, I'd say Sarah Silverman. I'm not totally convinced that's the right answer.

There's probably some woman lead guitar player in some rock band that I don't know about. She's probably pretty cool.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

There's probably some woman lead guitar player in some rock band that I don't know about. She's probably pretty cool.

Sean Yseult?

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Sean Yseult?

You're posting a lot for somebody who is totally uninformed.

[Nikki_N 17]

I might kind of hate Johnny Depp, but he was one of my submissions. He's just... so cool. I think we can all be trusted to be objective about this, and leave personal biases aside for the most part. Like, LLY agreed, despite his (and my) enduring and permanent love for Radiohead, they don't really get to be on the list, because, you know, they are dorks. I love the works of Neil Gaiman, George RR Martin, and Stephen King, but any of those guys cool? Nope.Hunter S. Thompson. Now he is fucking cool.

Fair enough.