speedz99 145 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 really? I would think would a funny guy like you would surround himself with people who would understand that joke and not get offended. no, I haven't moved yet.I would think that guy who lives in the middle of nowhere like you would surround himself with people who would misunderstand that joke, take it seriously, and pat you on the back for it. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Ha!Well work never ceases to be interesting. Trying hard to rent apartments in this turbulent time. Took two eager people interested in our complex on a tour of our various apartments and while walking past H building I hear what sounds like water running. That is odd and I turn to look and see a comcast employee peeing on H building. Really? Adam was very sorry, the two people were not so eager. They were older and I think probably thought it was a common occurrence. Oh well. Luckily for Adam they were there or I would have went off. I did just leave a message with our Comcast Rep asking him to let his people know that peeing on our buildings will no longer be acceptable.oh lord. that's so awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I would think that guy who lives in the middle of nowhere like you would surround himself with people who would misunderstand that joke, take it seriously, and pat you on the back for it.definitely not out of the realm of possibility.edit: hi bizzle! I'm home now in case you were worried. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 This hermaphrodite runner poses many intriguing quandaries that I can barely even begin to wrap my head around. The first thing is, I feel really bad for her. Even if she and her coaches did this knowingly, I don't know if I can blame her. She is only a teenage. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Wow, Fox News lady just checked in.There was the inevitable WHY NO FOX stuff, then she complained at length about the fact that we take a security deposit and charge $100 per set of lost keys. "So that $100 deposit is not going to be available on my credit card?"Yes. If you're $100 from your c/c limit, consider not going on vacation."And if I lose a key, you're going to charge me $100?"Yes. We have to rekey the unit, get new keys cut, we have to pay the building manager for the keys, etc. It's not cheap."But I've never lost keys before?!?!"Mmmm, ok?"So if I lose these ones, it's going to be because some horrible accident has happened [ed. note: like, say, 9/11 part two: True North?] and you're going to want me to pay on top of this horrible thing that has happened?"Yes. "But that would make me REALLY REALLY unhappy!"Well, if we didn't charge the person who lost the keys, we'd have to charge the members (ie: YOU) through your maintenance fees. How would you like to pay for someone else's healthcare lost keys?"Well, I think you should take into account who loses them. You should get insurance."..."I don't think this is fair. I don't want to pay for my lost keys."So don't lose any? You never have before..."So do I have to pay in advance?"You do have to provide a security deposit, yes."You people are filthy hippie communists. Hitler would be proud!"Have a nice day.* the last two lines have been adjusted for dramatic intent, to fit your screen, or for running time. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 [ed. note: like, say, 9/11 part two: True North?]one time someone walked in on me while I was in the bathroom... it felt like pearl harbor part two Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Wow, Fox News lady just checked in.There was the inevitable WHY NO FOX stuff, then she complained at length about the fact that we take a security deposit and charge $100 per set of lost keys. "So that $100 deposit is not going to be available on my credit card?"Yes. If you're $100 from your c/c limit, consider not going on vacation."And if I lose a key, you're going to charge me $100?"Yes. We have to rekey the unit, get new keys cut, we have to pay the building manager for the keys, etc. It's not cheap."But I've never lost keys before?!?!"Mmmm, ok?"So if I lose these ones, it's going to be because some horrible accident has happened [ed. note: like, say, 9/11 part two: True North?] and you're going to want me to pay on top of this horrible thing that has happened?"Yes. "But that would make me REALLY REALLY unhappy!"Well, if we didn't charge the person who lost the keys, we'd have to charge the members (ie: YOU) through your maintenance fees. How would you like to pay for someone else's healthcare lost keys?"Well, I think you should take into account who loses them. You should get insurance."..."I don't think this is fair. I don't want to pay for my lost keys."So don't lose any? You never have before..."So do I have to pay in advance?"You do have to provide a security deposit, yes."You people are filthy hippie communists. Hitler would be proud!"Have a nice day.* the last two lines have been adjusted for dramatic intent, to fit your screen, or for running time.awesomegod i hate peoplecosts us $150 if someone loses their building entrance door key. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 awesomegod i hate peoplecosts us $150 if someone loses their building entrance door key.personally i want to know what kind of insurance she thinks we should buy. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 awesomegod i hate peoplecosts us $150 if someone loses their building entrance door key.You should charge the other tenants for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I flicked on Kevin Nealon's standup on Showtime, and its much better than he's been on Weeds. The repeating himself is mildly annoying, but its decent content. Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 personally i want to know what kind of insurance she thinks we should buy.I would think Canada has some kind of "Stupid American" insurance. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I would think Canada has some kind of "Stupid American" insurance.We did, but the premiums got to be a bit high when we kept filing a claim every few hours. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Just got back from the Dr.Anyone ever had a hernia? Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Just got back from the Dr.Anyone ever had a hernia?Lots of old people I know. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 I just watched The Outsiders for the first time. What a steaming pile that was. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 I just watched The Outsiders for the first time. What a steaming pile that was.I recommend the Seinfeld-Curb preview on HBO. It's not on demand, but that's not my problem. It's pretty funny. Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 I just watched The Outsiders for the first time. What a steaming pile that was.stay gold loogie boy, stay gold. Link to post Share on other sites
Randy Reed 0 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Just got back from the Dr.Anyone ever had a hernia?No but I love going so the Doctor can play with my balls. *cough*JLL- sounds like a fun weekend in store. Are you going to make up flyers for the nude breakfast featuringGay Canadian speakers and free hashish samples under her door? Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Swine Flu update:Strikes Cornell! Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 I, for one, wasn't even aware that Fox News is the "top rated" news channel in the US.CABLE NEWS RACETHURSDAY NITE, SEPT 10FOXNEWS O'REILLY 3,609,000FOXNEWS BECK 3,340,000FOXNEWS HANNITY 2,986,000FOXNEWS GRETA 2,522,000FOXNEWS BAIER 2,362,000FOXNEWS SHEP 2,040,000MSNBC OLBERMANN 1,573,000MSNBC MADDOW 1,164,000CNN KING 965,000MSNBC HARDBALL 882,000MSNBC SCHULTZ 734,000CNN COOPER 691,000 Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 I like rachel maddow. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Swine Flu update:Strikes Cornell! I appreciate your consistency with these updates. Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 You know what, I really don't care for those "minute of silence" things everyone doesThe kid told me during a moment of silence in school this morning someone farted really loud and everyone the boys burst out laughing....Yeah, it was him.... but everyone already knew that, right?BOOBS!Beans boob story o-tha-day....Today several of my friends and I hauled some equipment over to a neighboring county to clear a field that was littered with ice storm debris from last winter. The people dont have any money so it was a charity event, and that means drinking, and lots of it. Sorta like an old time barn raising. Anyway, its out in the middle of absolutely nowhere.... think sals to Wal-Mart from civilization and youll get the idea. We surfaced there around ten this morning with a backhoe, two tractors with brush hogs, and a landscape loader with a bale spear on the front. I know, nobody knows what those are.... just using up space and time to build suspense. Anyway, the four of us worked pretty steadily for two or three hours and was taking a break under a shade tree when their neighbor showed up...The mini van pulled up the driveway and a woman got out, looked around for a minute, and started walking toward us....Rick (Call Rick For Help story character): "Whos this gal?"Jim: "I dunno.... got a big ole set of tits, aintshe?"Beans: "Those cant be tits"Dale: "Gimme another beer"Rick: "Me too"Jim: "Maybe she'll show em"Beans: "Im not sure I want to see"Dale: "This beer was empty, Jim"Jim: "You drank that already?"Rick: "He damn sure did"Dale: "Holy mother of....."BTG: "Howdy fellers!"(five long seconds of silence)Rick: "Howdy there.... how are you doin today?"BTG: "Jus fine.... Iwasa jus lookin round at what you fellers wasa doin up here..... lookin much better, aint it?"Dale: "....God!"BTG: "..."She stayed around for a few more minutes before scurrying back to the safety of the Dodge and leaving a plume of dust back down the road. Im not sure if it was the stares of astonishment or the group burst of schoolboy laughter triggered by Dales completed statement that spooked her, but it was one of them for sure. Now Ive seen some pretty big racks in my time, but these honkers were Guinness material if Ive ever seen any. Im not even sure that Ripley would have believed them. I cant even find words to describe just how large they actually were, so Ill quote Dales last statement and leave it at that...."All I saw was a pair of tits coming and a few seconds later a woman walked up behind them" They have a framed picture of my father-in-law standing in front of the towers while they are smoking.At least they wasnt drinking... shit I didn't even realize it was 9/11 until I checked this forumI didnt until the kid told the fart story around five oclock...I am alot like beans in that i have an addictive personality.Is a good thing I never took up drugs, although Ive always been a little jealous that the pot smokers are able to grow their habit for virtually pennies per buzz...If they ever come up with a plant that sprouts beer my garden would show up on GoogleEarth.....as a statelost keysFor my birthday a few years back someone got me a fob for my keys that sounded a tone when you clapped your hands....It made finding the keys much easier but the constant beeping during sex was quite annoying**I briefly considered adding "But the strobing light from the similarly operated lamp made everything look in slow motion, which was pretty cool", but adding material to an already lame joke never seems to make it any better Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Russell Brand on Jimmy Fallon was definitely worth the watch. (He's the English rocker from Forgetting Sarah Marshall) Very funny. Also, somehow, Jimmy Fallon is getting better. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 kaitlin olson was on Jimmy tonight. when she came out, the roots played Day Man.AWESOME. Link to post Share on other sites
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