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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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LOL. I just saw that. Nice. Does anybody catch the reference in my signature? If not, I can post a link. Funny, funny stuff.
Yeah, as soon as I saw it I said "Signature!"... yours looks familiar, but I can't place it
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LOL. I just saw that. Nice. Does anybody catch the reference in my signature? If not, I can post a link. Funny, funny stuff.
It's from the dear penis song. And it goes a little something like this:Dear Penis, I don't think I like you anymore.You used to watch me shave,Now all you do is stare at the floor.Oh dear Penis, I don't like you anymore.It used to be you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine.That's all we needed to get by.Now it seems things have changed, and I think that you're the one to blame.Dear Penis, I don't like you anymore(He sings)Dear Rodney, I don't think I like you anymore.'Cause when you get to drinkin',You put me places I've never been before.Dear Rodney, I don't like you anymore.Why can't we just get a gripOn our man-to-hand relationshipAnd come to terms with truly how we feel?If we put our heads together,We'd just stay home forever.Dear Penis, I think I like you afterall.Oh and Rodney, while you're shaving, shave my balls.
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Mayor of money city? I don't get it, and I probably should.Habs: Apparently I need to make my way up to Canadia sometime to visit this place. It sounds interesting.

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Edit: I was a page behindShake you are still the manHabs: fox in the box? I'm pretty sure I was in the back room in what seemed like a little booth. Is that what you are referring to?Also on that trip, my friend went to one of those jackoff booths where the girl can jerk you off with some sort of mechanical arm like the Nintendo Power Glove. Just Serious

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Mayor of money city? I don't get it, and I probably should.Habs: Apparently I need to make my way up to Canadia sometime to visit this place. It sounds interesting.
There's nothing to get. It's an inside joke amongst my friends and me. I don't expect anybody on the forum to understand, but it makes me laugh so ****ing you all.
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There's nothing to get. It's an inside joke amongst my friends and me. I don't expect anybody on the forum to understand, but it makes me laugh so ****ing you all.
wait, you have friends? whaaaa??? juuust kiddingand kers, a mechanical arm? is it wrong that I want to know more?
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Edit: I was a page behindHabs: fox in the box? I'm pretty sure I was in the back room in what seemed like a little booth. Is that what you are referring to?Also on that trip, my friend went to one of those jackoff booths where the girl can jerk you off with some sort of mechanical arm like the Nintendo Power Glove. Just Serious
Yeah, that's the fox in the box.We have massage parlors with happy endings too. Covered by insurance!Never heard of the power glove love, but i'm not surprised.
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I got up at 1.30pm. It's now 4.39 pm, and I'm debating whether or not I should have a shower. This is how every day goes for me. I have no direction in my life, and won't for at least another 5 months. Worship me.I watch Diagnosis Murder with **** Van Dyke.
You can't type **** Van Dyke?!?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!Too funny!
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wait, you have friends? whaaaa??? juuust kiddingand kers, a mechanical arm? is it wrong that I want to know more?
We were walking around (it was New Years... fantastic in Montreal) looking for hookers actually. This guy says "come in here" and we go upstairs and at this place you could go into a booth and look at a girl behind the glass. She could jerk you off after but she was still behind the booth and couldnt actually touch you so they had this mechanical arm coming out of the glass for her to use. One of my friends did it and we still call him the mechanical bull to this day.Montreal is the greatest place on earth
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the arm sounds nasty do they use a rubber disposable glove or what.. we need info on this. btw i was asking for a friend.. lol

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the arm sounds nasty do they use a rubber disposable glove or what.. we need info on this. btw i was asking for a friend.. lol
lolI never actually saw the booth/arm, so I'm just going by how my friend described it. I'm not sure if it was a glove that she put her hand in then she did it, or if it was like a prothstetic arm that she controlled like a crane. Either way its hilarious
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I know that this is something that I now must do.a quest, if you willMontreal, here I come!
for some foolish reason i have the same feeling about going to montreal.. other than this i never wanted to go there before.. wow this is strange.
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I know that this is something that I now must do.a quest, if you willMontreal, here I come!
BACHELOR PARTY!Nobody's getting married, but who gives a ****ing?You can have the couch. Just don't ****ing my dog.
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My ****ing girlfriend is calling me right now. She calls me about three times every day when she's on break from work, but she NEVER HAS ANY****INGTHING TO SAY! She just calls and sits on the phone waiting for me to entertain her or something. Then she gets pissed when I want to get off the phone. God damnit!

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My ****ing girlfriend is calling me right now. She calls me about three times every day when she's on break from work, but she NEVER HAS ANY****INGTHING TO SAY! She just calls and sits on the phone waiting for me to entertain her or something. Then she gets pissed when I want to get off the phone. God damnit!
That sucks. You should dump her, and just have anonymous sex with strangers.
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