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I Called In Sick Today


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ok, now 40772231S&G, one table, micro $3
In.I've never played eight or better in my life. This should be fun.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Just watched a funny exchange on King of the Hill.Hank: I hope you don't get cooties.Joseph: What's cooties?Hank: In my day, that's what we called the germs you get from girls.Bobby: You mean like chlamydia?
Love that show. Dale is the best.
Oh man, who was it that described themselves as shaped like an ostrich? I think it was Caleb..That was some of the funniest shit Ive ever read.
Yeah, that was me. It's all true too.
What's up bitches?I put some money on Full Tilt last night so I could start playing poker again. When I signed on it still had my old buddy list and I found Zimmer playing in a tournament. I decided it would be fun to rail him for a few minutes, and then maybe watch him play some poker afterwords.
I don't know much.....but I know I love you.
Changing diapers. Maybe Turd should invite him over to help with the skidmark issue.
I have since showered and changed my underpants thank you very much.
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I played a little 3/6 at Greektown yesterday. I played for 16 hours, and won 8 dollars. I bought a pack of cigarettes for 7 dollars. I bought two stickers in a gas station for 1 dollar.Time well spent.
I played 1/2 NL 300 max for 4 hours and won $11. i proceeded to lose $40 at blackjack because i refuse to go home even. also, for turd, Trill is also a clipse song, along with Wamp Wamp. if you want to be "in" with the kids, i suggest you download them, and learn to love the 'slang'. or 'nigger talk' as you call it. all my stripper bitches like dirty money, dirty money.
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What's up LG, how's England?

Love that show. Dale is the best.Yeah, that was me. It's all true too. I don't know much.....but I know I love you. I have since showered and changed my underpants thank you very much.
True.True.Hart you.What did you do with them? You didn't wash them yet did you?
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try complimenting him on his chiseled abs.
i think you're confusing me and lori. i have some really gay pictures of myself i want to post. not tyfgine gay, but there's one in a pink jacket that encouraged me to finally open a imageshack account.
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also, for turd, Trill is also a clipse song, along with Wamp Wamp. if you want to be "in" with the kids, i suggest you download them, and learn to love the 'slang'. or 'nigger talk' as you call it.
Fact: My favorite shirt is a Trill Entertainment shirt.Jebus, I just remembered why I stopped playing poker.
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Calebs Ostrich story made its way into my inbox, and it is definitely worth repeating. Everytime I read this, I laugh so hard I cry.

Things are pretty boring and slow around here so I guess I'll tell about my drunken homo escapades this weekend. Here's the setup. My girlfriend and I get to a friend's house at around 8:00 on Saturday night for a BBQ. Most of the people I regularly hang out with are there, but for the most part it's a weiner fest. The only girls are my girlfriend Jennifer and my buddy's wife. The other six people are guys. Anyway, we get to drinking, and after dinner we start a game of beer pong. By this time I've already had about three beers and five shots of tequila. My friend Paul and I win the first round by two cups, but I'm starting to get ****ed up. After the game I have two more shots, and now my throws are getting sloppy. Paul and I get destroyed in the second game, and I puke a little in the last cup after finishing it. I decide not to tell anyone this, and just casually dump it out in the sink. Smooth move right? I had to sit on the sidelines for the next game, and about half way through I let the players know that one of the cups was puke laced. It was like vomit Russian Roulette. They were not pleased. After the beer pong matches and another shot we decide it's time to go swimming. This guy has a crappy doughboy pool and hot tub in his back yard. Paul and I didn't bring our bathing suits so we choose to go in our boxers. Turns out that they're pretty much see through as soon as they get wet so everyone got a free show. Everyone got in the hot tub after the pool, and Paul and I got a few people with The Brain when we got in. What a bunch of homos. I can't believe they looked. Anyway, we pack all six guys in the hot tub with the girls sitting on the sidelines, and the homoerotica is off the charts. Here's where things get good and embarrassing for ol' Caleb. I have to take a piss so I stand up to get out of the hot tub. Before I describe the events soon to follow let me paint a little picture for you. I'm a ridiculously awkward white person. Very tall and lanky, but with a mild beer gut and a huge ***. Picture an ostrich without the feathers and a little less coordinated and you've got me. Anyhow, I stand up, take one step over the edge of the tub, and fall flat on my face onto the pavement. This wasn't an ordinary little spill either. I'm a big guy, and I fell pretty ****ing hard. The ground was wet so as soon as my foot hit it my legs went straight up in the air and my chin/chest went straight down. Even more embarrassing was the process of trying to get up. Picture a fish flopping around on the deck of a boat. I'm trying to keep my junk inside my shorts, and I really have to piss so I'm trying to be quick about things. My friends are laughing their asses off the whole time. Not one of my best moments. We eventually get out of the hot tub and end up on the front lawn in our towels. Paul and I get to talking and I offer him $20 to run naked down the street ringing doorbells. We haggled a little bit over how many houses he had to go up to, and we decided on five. The kicker was that one of the houses had a party going on. As soon as he drops his shorts and starts running one of the other guys decides to join in on the spur of the moment so they take off down the street tag teaming these houses with their junk flapping in the wind. Things go off without a hitch until they hit the party house. The second they make it to the front lawn we hear some yelling and Mexicans start coming out of that house like bees out of a nest. My friends turn and start hauling *** back to our house with two big *** Mexicans right on their tails. Things could have gotten a little messy, but we knew one of them from high school. He used to be fat and we called him "Lunchbox." Crisis averted and the night was pretty much over. That's the end of my story I guess.
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This will probably sound a little gay but there is no reason for you to still be a virgin. You are a pretty good looking dude, stick in one of your roommate's friends already.
Not nearly enough so.Why don't you go into more detail about HOW he should be getting laid, if you were the lay-er. It's ok, it's just hypothetical. Don't be so closed minded.
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I have since showered and changed my underpants thank you very much.
loserI think american idol sucked last night. good people sucked. bad people sucked. and CW, I wouldn't expect another Kelly vs. Kellie debate as there is none other that can compare to Miss Pickler. she's one of a kind.so whats the story with timdog? why'd mex make him leave? I don't know these things.oh, and I finally updated my personal photo for everyone.
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To be honest, the line is getting blurrier and blurrier. I have a bad feeling in a few months I'll find myself making out with a guy I don't know, alone in his room, and find myself thinking, "Dude, this is so hilarious. You think he thinks I'm REALLY gay?!"Wang
Classic catchup last night. Just fantastic by all. However, the above wins.
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I think I've got it if you still want it.
I realize you don't catch up, but yes, ship the Paris Hilton Sex tape.
yeah I'm watching American Idol. so what.
As did I. Painfully cruel. I enjoyed it, and we all know what a fag I am.Crack baby, haha. She looked it. She was 16 going on 37.
Why would they lead with that? Just depressing. Although Apollo Creed is hilarious. Why can't I stop watching this?
I found it very amusing. I came late so I didn't see where they did the montage on her life, I just saw her sing badly and get told no. They weren't horribly cruel but honest. She wasn't good and she was a mental wreck. Don't feel too badly for her, she's probably made plenty of guys uncomfortable in her life after they've banged her and gave her a wrong phone number. She seems like a future bunny boiler. Obvious daddy issues and a need to be loved. That girl, if she was in better shape would be a sex worker already. I'm sure she's a peach though. The producers took a risk with that because it seems like alot of people feel bad for her, but the heartbreaking angle is pretty smart. People can't look away from a car wreck and thats exactly what she was.
I'm about to go out on a limb here, so bear with me............maybe they locked that door on purpose to make people look stupid. Just maybe.
bingo. People storming out and running into a locked door is always funny. I would've done a pratfall. They probably wanted it locked to they could close the angle off on the people coming out of the room, and found it funny.
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1 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)1 Members: LolliOne lonely Beastie I beAll by myself - without nobody...I slept like shit and Im cranky. I need a hug.

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1 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)1 Members: JSHammI slept like shit and Im cranky. I need a bj.
Youre in luck....4 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)4 Members: Lolli, speedz99, mk, dms26
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