I Called In Sick Today

[Napa_Don 688]

Hey Dawson,My audit professor, who's actually just a lecturer since she doesn't have her phd, is very attractive for a professor. I'd rate her like a 7-8 in the wild, but shes like a 20 when it comes to girls in accounting. Shes 25-26 and likes to go to the bars and shit. I have zero chance of stuffing, so I think you should convince your office to go to our career fair in a few weeks and while here you can offer me an internship as well as stuff her and then convince her to give me an A in the course. Win/Win/Win imo.

[ajs510 122]

It's light. Handle's adjustable for easy carrying, good for righties and lefties. Breaks down into four parts, undetectable by x-ray, ideal for quick, discreet interventions. A word on firepower. Titanium recharger, three thousand round clip with bursts of three to three hundred, and with the Replay button - another Zorg invention - it's even easier.

[speedz99 145]

My buddy brought out a girl that was a total beast, and after a good hour of throwing out possibilities and giggling like schoolgirls, the rest of us (ok, the two dorkiest of us) realized that she looked like those guys.

[Dawson Leery 12]

Hey Dawson,My audit professor, who's actually just a lecturer since she doesn't have her phd, is very attractive for a professor. I'd rate her like a 7-8 in the wild, but shes like a 20 when it comes to girls in accounting. Shes 25-26 and likes to go to the bars and shit. I have zero chance of stuffing, so I think you should convince your office to go to our career fair in a few weeks and while here you can offer me an internship as well as stuff her and then convince her to give me an A in the course. Win/Win/Win imo.

Ask her if she wants somebody from a big 4 to come present about TS. What days do you have classes? If it's MWF...I'll tell my company a professor at ISU that I know wants a presentation on TS for their Friday class. I'll go, we'll get bombed Thursday night, I'll give a half assed presentation on Friday, stay the weekend and stuff the hell out of your teacher, get you an A, etc. etc. Make this happen.

[Napa_Don 688]

Ask her if she wants somebody from a big 4 to come present about TS. What days do you have classes? If it's MWF...I'll tell my company a professor at ISU that I know wants a presentation on TS for their Friday class. I'll go, we'll get bombed Thursday night, I'll give a half assed presentation on Friday, stay the weekend and stuff the hell out of your teacher, get you an A, etc. etc. Make this happen.

My audit class is on MW which is dumb as hell.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

To celebrate, I may drink and drive. My one year anniversary of my arrest is also coming up. It was Saturday the 26th rolling into Sunday the 27th. I may have a cake

Eat the cake while listening to our theme song from the days when we were actually somebody around here....Anyone ever figure out who this guy was? Loogie perhaps?Verse #1Welcome to a place called F-C-PWhere storytime with Beans is al-ways free.We got all kind o’ peeps, Caleb, Derek, Terry.But all ask the same, “Hey Daniel, where’s Jerry?”We got the best site, not four or any othaWe ain’t all family, but Theresa’s our muthaSome may say that she’s hot, some maybe notBut I know she got nothing on the army hoes in leather.Koop loves goin deep, but it’s not watcha think.We got Custom 36 for that type of thing.Whoops, I take it back, cause Custom is the law.Just tryin to say that Koop is a deep stack gawd.Chorus x3Everybody knows Gen. Poker rots away…and Everybody knows OT is where we playEverybody knows tritz can see flops right away…and Everybody knows Ron Mexico is gayVerse #2Now I’mma slow it down, but just for a sec.Cause FCP gets serious, and I haven’t yet.People get banned, and it ain’t always funnyLike when USC pissed off the great Digital Monkey.Drawing in DM had a friend as his avCourse 10-8 was an ***, and said some **** badWell it turned out DD’s friend had just died in a crashSo ten got E-raped, just like it was smash.Except for that ****, it’s mostly fun and gamesTo see who can post the most sickening flamesPlease don’t be the ***** who complains and criesFor those that do, please go back to pocket fivesChorus x2Verse #3Those two were weak, I won’t even frontI was just focusing on smoking this bluntNow that I’m warm, I’m gonna break through the curseI’m gonna spit hot fire while I tear up this verse.But not right yet, cause I’m doin some crackAnd I still gotta wait until the beat changes back.There it is, and now my rhymes are so crazy and sickOh, by the way Dirty dutch can suck on my dirty ****he thinks he’s tight cause he wrote a couple of ***** linesfor that flow, I’d have to give him multiple big finesI don’t know you all, and you don’t know who I amI’ll just say that I’m not cu in 4 years danIf I had the time, I would end the song with something largeIt’s just too bad for you that these are my last few barsTo PartyPokerSux, good luck to you before, I goJust think of us when you make millions when you turn proRemember nothing’s more tight than nameless, and I’m not bluffing…….nothing.Chorus x3

[strategy 4]

should have goddamn known the last mgmt class I have to take for the foreseeable future would be of the most excruciating variety. frequent group projects with tards, oh joy.guapo, if this current business of yours doesn't work out, maybe you could become a sports agent.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Hey Dawson,My audit professor, who's actually just a lecturer since she doesn't have her phd, is very attractive for a professor. I'd rate her like a 7-8 in the wild, but shes like a 20 when it comes to girls in accounting. Shes 25-26 and likes to go to the bars and shit. I have zero chance of stuffing, so I think you should convince your office to go to our career fair in a few weeks and while here you can offer me an internship as well as stuff her and then convince her to give me an A in the course. Win/Win/Win imo.

See, now you're thinking outside the box, er, rather, about the box. Either way, you've got potential kid.

Eat the cake while listening to our theme song from the days when we were actually somebody around here....Anyone ever figure out who this guy was? Loogie perhaps?

No idea who it was but yeah, that was...weird? Amusing? Flattering? I'm not sure of the correct adjective, but it was...yeah. No cake. In fact, I have to buy a carrot cake for a co-workers birthday tomorrow, of which I can't eat. Yippee. Scale better be kind to me on Saturday morning. If not, it's going through the window.

should have goddamn known the last mgmt class I have to take for the foreseeable future would be of the most excruciating variety. frequent group projects with tards, oh joy.

See, I woulda figured group projects with random classmates is right up your alley.Color me wrong.

[strategy 4]

See, I woulda figured group projects with random classmates is right up your alley.Color me wrong.

sarcasm noted, but seriously, the big selling point for me on this degree was the lack of creative/research-style writing and presentations. I do fine in those areas, but it's tedious and boring as hell. give me a bubble sheet and a #2 pencil, dickfags.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

No idea who it was but yeah, that was...weird? Amusing? Flattering? I'm not sure of the correct adjective, but it was...yeah. No cake. In fact, I have to buy a carrot cake for a co-workers birthday tomorrowSee, I woulda figured group projects with random classmates is right up your alley.Color me wrong.

That thing hit my mind while driving to a fabric store this morning....I was going for manly reasons like auto upholstery, but it seemed overly gay at the time, thus the recollection Please tell me that youll at least cut off a piece about the size of a postage stamp in front of everyone and exclaim "Im watchin my figure this week gals!" and scamper off giggling....Im just as shocked as you are about that one

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

sarcasm noted, but seriously, the big selling point for me on this degree was the lack of creative/research-style writing and presentations. I do fine in those areas, but it's tedious and boring as hell. give me a bubble sheet and a #2 pencil, dickfags.

Surprisingly, or not, I like giving presentations. Gives me a chance to perform in front of a crowd, make jokes, do what it is that Ron_Mexico does best.In training classes for work (when we have them) my group always makes me give the presentation. In group therapy, the teacher thanked me for being amusing and speaking up in class probably 4 out of my 10 classes. And I shit you not, but at least 3 different times, someone would tell me that I should do stand up comedy. I have probably heard that 50 times in the last three years. I guess it doesn't account for the other 90% who wish I would shut the hell up. But yeah, I never miss a chance to make a group laugh, even at the peril of my career, a la being a wise ass at a company event in front of the whole company. I'm an attention whore I guess. This post is evidence. Sorry if you read it all.

Please tell me that youll at least cut off a piece about the size of a postage stamp in front of everyone and exclaim "Im watchin my figure this week gals!" and scamper off giggling....Im just as shocked as you are about that one

I usually break out my best gay voice and go with "if I don't watch my figure, nobody else will" then put my index finger in my mouth shyly and giggle. Yeah, I'm pretty much a douche.I may just piss off about the cake, give her the card and buy that tubby preggo slut some chinese food for lunch.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

And I shit you not, but at least 3 different times, someone would tell me that I should do stand up comedy. I have probably heard that 50 times in the last three years. I guess it doesn't account for the other 90% who wish I would shut the hell up.

Id certainly go see your performance, that is unless it was at one of those uber classy two drink minimum joints.......then Id need a comp to go

[mln_falcon 0]

I was doubtful it would happen because I was having so much passport difficulties, but thats all sorted so...I'm going to Thailand next week bitches.

[speedz99 145]

I was doubtful it would happen because I was having so much passport difficulties, but thats all sorted so...I'm going to Thailand next week bitches.

If you see a 5'5" fat guy kissing a 6'4" skinny guy, say hi for me. One of them is a doctor I work with.

[strategy 4]

Surprisingly, or not, I like giving presentations. Gives me a chance to perform in front of a crowd, make jokes, do what it is that Ron_Mexico does best.In training classes for work (when we have them) my group always makes me give the presentation. In group therapy, the teacher thanked me for being amusing and speaking up in class probably 4 out of my 10 classes. And I shit you not, but at least 3 different times, someone would tell me that I should do stand up comedy. I have probably heard that 50 times in the last three years. I guess it doesn't account for the other 90% who wish I would shut the hell up. But yeah, I never miss a chance to make a group laugh, even at the peril of my career, a la being a wise ass at a company event in front of the whole company. I'm an attention whore I guess. This post is evidence. Sorry if you read it all.

LOL. I could probably do sales for a living, really. anyone who has ever discussed a potential technology purchase with me understands how shill-tastic I can be. "what will it take for me to get you into an iphone today?" a la randy reed. it's just that the atmosphere in those classes is so bad... possibly worse than the group therapy, since no one feels the need to even pretend to be attending for intrinsic reasons.

[speedz99 145]

LOL. I could probably do sales for a living, really.

This is surprising to me for some reason.

[runthemover 39]

If you see a 5'5" fat guy kissing a 6'4" skinny guy, say hi for me. One of them is a doctor I work with.

a black sher...I mean a gay doctor? keep the male animals away from that one!

[loogie 115]

Eat the cake while listening to our theme song from the days when we were actually somebody around here....Anyone ever figure out who this guy was? Loogie perhaps?Verse #1Welcome to a place called F-C-PWhere storytime with Beans is al-ways free.We got all kind o’ peeps, Caleb, Derek, Terry.But all ask the same, “Hey Daniel, where’s Jerry?”We got the best site, not four or any othaWe ain’t all family, but Theresa’s our muthaSome may say that she’s hot, some maybe notBut I know she got nothing on the army hoes in leather.Koop loves goin deep, but it’s not watcha think.We got Custom 36 for that type of thing.Whoops, I take it back, cause Custom is the law.Just tryin to say that Koop is a deep stack gawd.Chorus x3Everybody knows Gen. Poker rots away…and Everybody knows OT is where we playEverybody knows tritz can see flops right away…and Everybody knows Ron Mexico is gayVerse #2Now I’mma slow it down, but just for a sec.Cause FCP gets serious, and I haven’t yet.People get banned, and it ain’t always funnyLike when USC pissed off the great Digital Monkey.Drawing in DM had a friend as his avCourse 10-8 was an ***, and said some **** badWell it turned out DD’s friend had just died in a crashSo ten got E-raped, just like it was smash.Except for that ****, it’s mostly fun and gamesTo see who can post the most sickening flamesPlease don’t be the ***** who complains and criesFor those that do, please go back to pocket fivesChorus x2Verse #3Those two were weak, I won’t even frontI was just focusing on smoking this bluntNow that I’m warm, I’m gonna break through the curseI’m gonna spit hot fire while I tear up this verse.But not right yet, cause I’m doin some crackAnd I still gotta wait until the beat changes back.There it is, and now my rhymes are so crazy and sickOh, by the way Dirty dutch can suck on my dirty ****he thinks he’s tight cause he wrote a couple of ***** linesfor that flow, I’d have to give him multiple big finesI don’t know you all, and you don’t know who I amI’ll just say that I’m not cu in 4 years danIf I had the time, I would end the song with something largeIt’s just too bad for you that these are my last few barsTo PartyPokerSux, good luck to you before, I goJust think of us when you make millions when you turn proRemember nothing’s more tight than nameless, and I’m not bluffing…….nothing.Chorus x3

Not me. I have no idea who wrote it, but I do know that he severely undervalues my substantial contributions to this hell hole.

[speedz99 145]

Not me. I have no idea who wrote it, but I do know that he severely undervalues my substantial contributions to this hell hole.

Had to be someone in the Army. I always gave it an A for effort but wasn't a huge fan. Maybe because it wasn't all about me.

[mln_falcon 0]

If you see a 5'5" fat guy kissing a 6'4" skinny guy, say hi for me. One of them is a doctor I work with.

I'm afraid I might absent mindly go up to said couple now and say Speedz says hi, and even if their the right couple they still won't know what I'm talking about.

[speedz99 145]

I'm afraid I might absent mindly go up to said couple now and say Speedz says hi, and even if their the right couple they still won't know what I'm talking about.

Don't be afraid. Just let it happen.

[jeff_536 3]

Had to be someone in the Army. I always gave it an A for effort but wasn't a huge fan. Maybe because it wasn't all about me.

I can absolutely guarantee no one in the army did it. I know all their voices and it doesn't match. Plus they're a bunch of slackers.

[brvheart 1,752]

Of course I did. He can't get away with that kind of shit. Drunks everywhere should not be let off the hook that easily.Look it up or knew it? Yeah, and?

I've been married to the same girl for 11 years as of Jan 31st, and she likes movies.Also, I've always assumed that 'Nameliss' was someone that is well liked, but now embarrassed that he did that... so he'll never reveal himself. Someone like Joey or Rod or Spade.

[Sal Paradise 57]

sarcasm noted, but seriously, the big selling point for me on this degree was the lack of creative/research-style writing and presentations. I do fine in those areas, but it's tedious and boring as hell. give me a bubble sheet and a #2 pencil, dickfags.

I think we're more similar than meets the eye. or ear. or actually eye. whatever. I hate people, which is why I did economics. probably the reason I'm so bitter with where my current job ended up. fuck I hate people.

In training classes for work (when we have them) my group always makes me give the presentation. In group therapy, the teacher thanked me for being amusing and speaking up in class probably 4 out of my 10 classes. And I shit you not, but at least 3 different times, someone would tell me that I should do stand up comedy. I have probably heard that 50 times in the last three years. I guess it doesn't account for the other 90% who wish I would shut the hell up. But yeah, I never miss a chance to make a group laugh, even at the peril of my career, a la being a wise ass at a company event in front of the whole company. I'm an attention whore I guess. This post is evidence. Sorry if you read it all.

but I'm also good with people in groups much like our decreasingly tubby friend here. when I was in my training classes when I was in insurance, I'd always be the one making jokes and what not. my first trainer actually pulled me aside a few times and thanked me for helping make the class lighter. not that it ever did me any good or anything, but whatever.this doesn't belong in here, but jesus I love Cat Power. how's THAT for gay?

[leftygolfer 7]

you're one weird motherfucker.

Eat the cake while listening to our theme song from the days when we were actually somebody around here....

I am sure a mod could narrow it down. Kdawg to the sick thread. Where you been?

I was doubtful it would happen because I was having so much passport difficulties, but thats all sorted so...I'm going to Thailand next week bitches.

A buddy was there for 6 months. Keep it covered.

This is surprising to me for some reason.

I concur.

Don't be afraid. Just let it happen.

What is, what Speedz said to the last woman/man he had sex with, for $600, Alex.