***official fcp poker limerick contest rules***

[TobyOrNotToBe 0]

Pretty little lady in pink, come and make my fingers ........

[Hobbes 1]

When the villain sucks outthere's no reason to poutFor the donkeys aboundand there's fish all aroundBut that's what poker's aboutSo to the fish you'll smileand hang around for awhile'Cause you'll play your gameand they'll know your nameWhen all their chips go into your pile

[KowboyKoop 0]

Who is judging a winner in this thing????? When will the winner be announced?? I think I am clearly in the lead so far on this one.

[yergan 0]

A poster who could see the flopBut it was all done in photoshopHe said he would leaveWe didn’t believeOh will the lies ever stop?

[zimmer4141 0]

Their names were alf and pupsta they said,the all in got in pup's head,the problem alf fixes,as he shows quad sixes,and Pup wishes alf could be dead.Not bad for 2 minutes of thought I think.

[llou 0]

My first attempt ...There once was a real estate brokerwho spent too much time playing poker.To his girlfriend's dismayhe played night and daywhen he should have been trying to "poke her."

[Tritz 0]

My first attempt ...There once was a real estate brokerwho liked to play no limit poker.To his girlfriend's dismayhe played night and daywhen he should have been trying to "poke her."

That's a true story isn't it.

[zimmer4141 0]

There once was a 16 year old,who never knew how to fold,as he improved his tourney game,to final tables he came,and turned his bankroll to gold.

[llou 0]

You know what would be really neat?A lim'rick about a bad beat.I must be myopic,I can't find the topic;Can anyone tackle this feat?

Attempt #2I imagine the looks on their facessitting at home in their places.They smirk with delightat my miserable plightas their sooted 2 3 cracks my aces.

[PA32R 0]

Neither a limerick nor poker related, but I have kids and am therefore partial to nursury rhymes:Per the Dice Man:Old Mother Hubberdwent to her cupboardto fetch her dog a bonewhen she bent overrover took over  and she got a bone of her own.Just sounds like something that would happen in Mexico's house!

Not my favorite dice man nursery rhyme. That would be:Hickory Dickory DockSome chick was sucking my ****The clock struck twoI shot my gooAnd dumped the beyotch on the next block

[llou 0]

My first attempt ...There once was a real estate brokerwho liked to play no limit poker.To his girlfriend's dismayhe played night and daywhen he should have been trying to "poke her."

That's a true story isn't it.

Probably

[econ_tim 0]

There once was an arrogant bloke,Who thought cash game play'rs he would smoke.They took all his mobney.When the hand was done heSaid "donkeys on draws, what a jopke!"

[alf13 0]

Their names were alf and pupsta they said,the all in got in pup's head,the problem alf fixes,as he shows quad sixes,and Pup wishes alf could be dead.Not bad for 2 minutes of thought I think.

hehehe....I am going to do one as an ode to Chucksty...gotta work on it now...

[alf13 0]

Alf raises first in,But Chuck with a grin,Re-raises his pair in a second.As Alf surely declares,With a dissmissive glare,Allin with his Ace Queen he reckoned.As Chuck calls with Kings,What will the flop bring,The turn of a card beckons.As an Ace flops,Chucksty's heart stops,I got outdrawn I reckon!.OH NO! what a beat,this horrible feat,Too bad for poor ole' Chucky.What Chuck doesn't say,Is that it must be this way,For the Shark to feed on the Guppy.

[Red_foot_soldier 0]

Here's my attemptThere once was a girl named Yvette, Who had a rather nice set. She said with a shiver, When she filled up on the river: "My hand is so good that I'm wet!"

[DunkinDonuts 0]

Here's my attemptThere once was a girl named Yvette, Who had a rather nice set. She said with a shiver, When she filled up on the river: "My hand is so good that I'm wet!"

I hoped that you might be the jokerWhose lim'ricks were less mediocre.But when I was throughI simply said "Eww,This crap's unrelated to poker.

[Smiddywap 0]

A poster who could see the flopBut it was all done in photoshopHe said he would leaveWe didn’t believeOh will the lies ever stop?

I heard from a forum vetYou ain't seen nothing yetThere once was a foolWho said 'let's change the rulemy two pair should beat your set.'

[Jelly-Filled Ace 1]

Head down, alone on a stoopmuttering "I play like poop"his mommy consoledlearn how to foldmy little Kowboy Koop

[turd ferguson 1]

Here's my attemptThere once was a girl named Yvette, Who had a rather nice set. She said with a shiver, When she filled up on the river: "My hand is so good that I'm wet!"

I hoped that you might be the jokerWhose lim'ricks were less mediocre.But when I was throughI simply said "Eww,This crap's unrelated to poker.

Classic. You're probably my new favorite poster. I love you're grammar police posts too. Keep it up. By the way, could you hook me up with a discount on your iced coffees?

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

andy milinokis is like wesley willis on crack

I thought wesley willis on crack was wesley willis...Nir vaaaaaaaaaaaa naaaaaa

[Pupsta 0]

Their names were alf and pupsta they said,the all in got in pup's head,the problem alf fixes,as he shows quad sixes,and Pup wishes alf could be dead.Not bad for 2 minutes of thought I think.

that'd be hilarious if it said chuck instead of alf, but whatever :Phere's mine:zimmer4141 was his namefulltilt froze his account, what a shame!he finally got it backstarted talking some smackpup reports him as 17, no more game:P j/k man, i <3 you

[KowboyKoop 0]

Head down, alone on a stoopmuttering "I play like poop"his mommy consoledlearn how to foldmy little Kowboy Koop

how am I alone on a stoop if my mommy is there consoling me??? Ha, what a moron.Also, you can't win the money in the pot if you fold your cards, you f*ckin newb. HAHAHAHHA, OH MAN, YOU IDIOT!!!

[Spademan 94]

Head down, alone on a stoopmuttering "I play like poop"his mommy consoledlearn how to foldmy little Kowboy Koop

how am I alone on a stoop if my mommy is there consoling me??? Ha, what a moron.Also, you can't win the money in the pot if you fold your cards, you f*ckin newb. HAHAHAHHA, OH MAN, YOU IDIOT!!!

*crickets chirping**tumbleweeds tumbling**wind whistling**KowboyKoop chuckling to himself**KowboyKoop switching his 3 level lamp from level 2 to off**sound of deliberate KowboyKoop keystrokes typing www.michaeljackson/littleboys.com**KowboyKoops computer working at pulling up the web page**KowboyKoops sweatpants elastic being stretched below his balls**bubble of pre-cum forming at the tip of KowboyKoops nonfunctional, flaccid member**futile stretching and pulling of his member**basement door of KowboyKoops mother opening**pitter patter of KowboyKoops mother meandering down the steps**frantic mouse movement of KowboyKoop attempting to minimize the disgusting screen**rapid barefoot movement back up the stairs**obvious "I saw what you were looking at" basement door closing**faint sobbing of KowboyKoops mother from behind the door**KowboyKoop snickering**KowboyKoop typing www.fullcontactpoker.com**KowboyKoop typing a response to a thread**KowboyKoop chuckling**God weeping*

[Fluffdog87 2]

ahaahaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhaaaaaahahaa :evil: :!: :wink: :roll: :twisted:

[Jelly-Filled Ace 1]

:clap: Gold, Spade, pure gold.