***official fcp poker limerick contest rules***

[goose 0]

poker is luck,what the ****

[VegasBone 0]

Phil Hellmuth owns a fancy carWith all the mobney he got being a poker starHe cries when he gets sucked outBut I say to him with no doubtP. O. K. E. R.

[nell789 0]

Damn, Vegasbone, you're the king of limericks

[Spademan 94]

I once played a game with a mute.His girl was there too, very cute.He luckboxed my cash,So I grabbed her ass,And beat him to death with my root.Overkill? I guess it may seem.Hopefully, with this, I redeem:I did it because"I is what I does",And mutes are unable to scream.

[turd ferguson 1]

I once played a game with a mute.His girl was there too, very cute.He luckboxed my cash,So I grabbed her ass,And beat him to death with my root.Overkill?  I guess it may seem.Hopefully, with this, I redeem:I did it because"I is what I does",And mutes are unable to scream.

Well done! POTD.

[nhlfan 0]

Here we go.....I was playing No-Limit at TrumpWhen I got it all in with some drunkHe showed me 3's andfilled up by the endnow my whole f-ing bankroll is sunk

[TheMathProf 0]

There once was a pro named NegreanuWhose limericks, they ended at line two...---OK, but seriously...There once was a pro from NantucketWho with suited connectors said, "Fuck it,I'd make my straight,You nines over eights,"And threw his cards to the center to muck it.---Or how about...One day, all the players were hushedTwo strong hands where one of 'em was crushedSo they raised and they raisedAnd they raised and they raisedWhere quads, they ended up straight flushedNow quads guy was out of his bankrollAnd started calling the other guy an asshole,When to his great surprise,The other guy replies,"You idiot! PokerStars is rigged!"

[troyomac 0]

i started today with 3 billsplayed out of my roll for some thrillslost every matchi just couldn't catchnow i'm going to swallow some pillstrue story

[Spademan 94]

I started today with 3 bills...Played out of my roll for some thrills.Then lost every match,I just couldn't catch,So I'm off to swallow some pills.true story

I like it, so I FYM.

[troyomac 0]

I started today with 3 bills...Played out of my roll for some thrills.Then lost every match,I just couldn't catch,So I'm off to swallow some pills.true story

I like it, so I FYM.

fucked my mom?and econ tim i'm not sending you 10 bucks

[chipinchair 0]

I played for a while on FulLTilt,And a nice little bankroll I built,I crushed the 5/10Again and againMoved up and watched my roll lilt

[chipinchair 0]

I had a Bankroll on Party,it was built up to be quite hearty,They were all on a draw,can't believe what I saw,Now all my bills are all tardy.

[troyomac 0]

what does "lilt" mean?

[chipinchair 0]

I put all my money on Stars,Sure didn't go very far,Got out-kicked on every hand,Lost more money than i can stand,Now I am drinking in bars.

[KowboyKoop 0]

Think you have the best poker limerick?Prove it!Just post it as a reply and send $10 to econ_tim on PStars.I'll talk with my business team to develop a fabulous prize pool.

You must be pretty drunk. That or your mother was pretty drunk when she was pregnant with you.

what the hell are YOU talking about?. of all people, the best part about u is running down your mothers leg.and thats a fact.whammy!

I am talking about that sending 10 dollars to someone for a limerick contest is something a drunk person would come up with. Also, ooh, close, that isn't the BEST thing about me, though it is pretty high up there. I'd say the best thing about me is my hair, the ladies really love it. As you may know, I BANG HOT CHICKS REGULARLY!!

Ok, i see where this is going. I'l just save us the trouble.Royal_Tour : "hot chicks?, define hot chicks"Kowboykoop: "like, smokin hot models man, with big guns"Royal_Tour: "Really?, i find that hard to believe, u have any pics?"KowboyKoop : "I will soon man, seriously, this one hot chick i been talkin to online all day is gonna send me a sweet pic"Royal_Tour : "soo, you havent actually physically met them yet?"KowboyKoop : "Well no, but man, they want me so bad, we do role play and chitz, i usually put on my robe and wizard hat and warp to level 5"Royal_Tour: "good luck with all that"and scene.

A. why would I want to band chicks with "big guns?"B. The one hot chick I have been talking to is Jenny McCarthy, she sent me a picture already, so....FACE!!!!C. What a moron. Everyone knows that you don't have the ability to warp until you have gained enough experience and adventure points, and that CAN'T happen until level 8, so...AHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHA. MAN, YOU IDIOT!!D. I bang lots of hot chicks on a regular basis.

[abuubro2 0]

All the pros, I feel I can lynchIts no problem, In fact a cinchAll their minds will have a scarWhen I flip the magic KrablarWhile screaming madly "Pinch Pinch"

[DunkinDonuts 0]

You know what would be really neat?A lim'rick about a bad beat.I must be myopic,I can't find the topic;Can anyone tackle this feat?Another big stick up my kiltIs the dearth of verse about tilt.I just can't seem to findAny poems of this kind;My hard-on's beginning to wilt.

[longdistance 0]

Being a solid player is rough,Cuz all those bad beats are tough.You get it in as a 77% fave,He hits his 3-outer to rise from the graveAnd my bankroll is reduced to fluff

[DunkinDonuts 0]

'Tis a blatant lyrical crimeTo marry two words 'cause they rhyme.If the coupling is forcedThen keep them divorced,And finish your epic in mime.Forgive me for being direct,But I simply must interject.I can't bear to watchThe rest of you botchThe language I work to protect.Love,Grammer Officer DunkinDonuts

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

There once was a man named Ron MexicoWhile on FCP, he tried to bang every hoHe liked jokes about poop and teabagging kowboy koopIf he took anymore valtrex his dick would glow.

[Royal_Tour 0]

There once was a man named Ron MexicoWhile on FCP, he tried to bang every hoHe liked jokes about poop and teabagging kowboy koopIf he took anymore valtrex his dick would glow.

stick to funny, it works better for you.whaaammieeeeeee

[alf13 0]

I am the poker King Kong,With an oversized Schlong,and for those that think long,about an appropriate song,it has to be Life's been good,cuz talking bout myself gives me wood,I am really this good...this opportunity to tell you I can't pass,If you don't agree, you can kiss my azz.

[Fat Tye 0]

Neither a limerick nor poker related, but I have kids and am therefore partial to nursury rhymes:Per the Dice Man:Old Mother Hubberdwent to her cupboardto fetch her dog a bonewhen she bent overrover took over and she got a bone of her own.Just sounds like something that would happen in Mexico's house!

[MikePatrick 0]

I once played a game with a mute.His girl was there too, very cute.He luckboxed my cash,So I grabbed her ass,And beat him to death with my root.Overkill?  I guess it may seem.Hopefully, with this, I redeem:I did it because"I is what I does",And mutes are unable to scream.

OMFG!!!Can I go back and change my player of the year vote? That's friggin outstanding!!!!!!

[Tritz 0]

I want to see more of these.