How To Drive

[speedz99 145]

You want to have fun on the road?

When I was a jackass high school kid, I used to borrow my parents' fairly fast car and play my friends' verson of "chicken". On a fairly busy 2 lane street, I'd drive very slow, maybe 20 under the limit, straddling the lane and the shoulder. Then, when the person behind me would inevitably get impatient and try to pass, I'd slam on the gas right when they were alongside me. Thankfully, I eventually did that to a car that had a cop car right behind it, and got pulled over. I pretended that I was going so slowly on the right because I thought I might have a flat tire, and didn't know what to do when the other car started passing me. The cop had me get out to check for a flat."How will I know if it's flat?""It'll be flat.""Oh, right."I got off without even a warning, but I never played chicken again. At least I was capable of learning lessons.

I've heard tell of someone having a sleeping passenger and pulling up behind a semi (the cab) being towed backwards, hitting the brakes, and screaming.

That's amazing. One time, on the way home from a weekend camping trip (a complete shitshow), my buddies and I were all asleep in the car as the poor driver was trying to get us all home. The guy in the middle of the back sat straight up all of a sudden and screamed, "LOOK OUT!!!" He immediately slumped back in his seat and continued whatever dream he had been having, while the rest of us all hyperventilated for a few minutes and made sure we weren't having heart attacks before relaxing again.

[brvheart 1,753]

I've heard tell of someone having a sleeping passenger and pulling up behind a semi (the cab) being towed backwards, hitting the brakes, and screaming.

This was a popular Funniest Home Video like 15 years ago.

[K_dense 3]

I probably drive more miles per week than anyone posting on this thread, unless you are a professional truck driver. Speaking of truck drivers.... they are the worst and the best. I run the left lane most all the time. I see two trucks ahead in the right lane , say 1/4 mile (402.33600 meters). It seems like 9 out of nine times that rat bastard will let me get close and then pull into the passing lane to pass the truck in front. That would be okay if it could be done in less than two minutes. Sometimes the silly bastard will try, then back off and get back to where he started. I used to flip em off as i pass. After awhile that just didnt satisfy me. I got on my printer and came up with several 8x11 laminated posters. I now get to pick the one that is most fitting and hold it up to the passenger window as I pull even with them. I am a safe driver and always anticipate but can not stand stooopid. If you block the box, I will curse you. If your car is already in the box and your light turns red, pls go. If I see you coming up behind I will get over. If I start to get over but that is not quick enough for you. piss off, i tried. as long as i tried thats all that countsBHO ummm ummm ummm

[Pot Odds RAC 23]

Had that happen yesterday actually. Exactly like the picture. Far right lane veered off to 696 but he wanted to stay on I-75. Stopped in the middle of the ramp and waiting till someone would let him in. Lots of horns and fingers shooting out the windows.

Like the guy who misses his exit, then stops and backs up on the freeway a couple yards back to his exit.When you make a mistake while driving, always remember to do something even stupider and more dangerous to remedy it instead of just continuing on to the next opportunity to safely recover from your first mistake.

[qyayqi 11]

i hate when you are driving along minding your own businessfollowing a car that is also minding his own businessEXCEPT he has decided to move to the right & turn right at the next intersectionONLY HE DOESN'T GET ALL THE WAY OVER AND BOXES YOU OUT!!

[wsox8 10]

I love the art and that shit that happens all the time. Whether it's getting left or right lots of people have a lot of trouble with this. Also I'm waiting for them to put two left turn lanes in here. The left turn lane is always so backed up (because the turn lane is so short) that when you're in the lane going straight next to the turn lane you're always stuck.

[vbnautilus 48]

Awesome, Q.

[CaneBrain 95]

I just got snaked on I-95 by a guy in a mini-cooper. Sigh.

[FCP Bob 1,320]

Awesome, Q.

[speedz99 145]

ONLY HE DOESN'T GET ALL THE WAY OVER AND BOXES YOU OUT!!

Just go back in time to the point right before he got to that stretch of the road, so you can do something annoying to him.

[Dread Aidan 8]

Kwik-E-Mart!

[runthemover 39]

it must suck to pull out of that garage there

[qyayqi 11]

it must suck to pull out of that garage there

sonofa

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i

tch

[sandwedge 30]

One of the beauties of driving a car with over 400,000 miles is I really don't give a shit. Therefore, I flourish in situations like the Snag. If you want to play a game of chicken with me, I'll happily oblige. I'm sure you care more about that pretty little beamer than I do about my p.o.s... Hell,if you give me a little bump, you might knock something back into place and help my car to run a little better.cliffs: Snaggers never win against me.

[brvheart 1,753]

I just got snaked

you pussy.

[BaseJester 1]

Just go back in time to the point right before he got to that stretch of the road, so you can do something annoying to him.

I love this post.

[Dread Aidan 8]

From Cracked (Gladstone):#3. People In A Hurry To Be SlowThis applies equally to cars and pedestrians. The path or road is crowded; everyone's got somewhere to go; you're busting a move, but someone else is busting more. Maybe they're in a bigger rush. Maybe they're late for some emergency. So they pull up in front of you and you think, "OK. Well played, good sir. You earned that location." And then suddenly, they wilt. They lose all determination. They creep back down to a crawl or putter along under the speed limit.It turns out they were only in a hurry to be in front of you. Pretty infuriating. You want to scream, "Hey, if you hadn't jumped in front of me, I'd be 50 yards in front of you by now. You'd be doing the same thing you're doing now except I wouldn't be stuck behind you." Of course, you can't actually say that without sounding like a crazy person so the more obvious solution is to murder them.

[Roll the Bones 74]

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=dI don't know how to do fancy pics and maps but here is a link to the area I will talk about that drives me nuts.As I am getting of the exit ramp from I-75 south (or any exit ramp) onto the (I 275) or any expressway I plan to merge over to the middle land as soon as possible but often there is traffic in front of me that is merging over to exit the expressway at the same time. Invariably the car behind me upon seeing the traffic speeds up and cuts you off preventing you from merging (passing on my left). In other words, rather than be patient and wait for you to have an opportunity to merge they floor it and cut you off leaving you stuck in the exit lane or inside lane.It is also true that these idiots upon speeding and driving recklessly to get to that middle lane will then slow down and drive below the speed limit. I commute over a hundred miles a day, don't get me started.

[vbnautilus 48]

From Cracked (Gladstone):#3. People In A Hurry To Be SlowThis applies equally to cars and pedestrians. The path or road is crowded; everyone's got somewhere to go; you're busting a move, but someone else is busting more. Maybe they're in a bigger rush. Maybe they're late for some emergency. So they pull up in front of you and you think, "OK. Well played, good sir. You earned that location." And then suddenly, they wilt. They lose all determination. They creep back down to a crawl or putter along under the speed limit.It turns out they were only in a hurry to be in front of you. Pretty infuriating. You want to scream, "Hey, if you hadn't jumped in front of me, I'd be 50 yards in front of you by now. You'd be doing the same thing you're doing now except I wouldn't be stuck behind you." Of course, you can't actually say that without sounding like a crazy person so the more obvious solution is to murder them.

That is a good one.

[Dread Aidan 8]

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=dI don't know how to do fancy pics and maps but here is a link to the area I will talk about that drives me nuts.

I know something else you don't know how to do.

[vbnautilus 48]

The BlockerI'm writing this up as a guy blocking entrance to a left turn lane but there are many variations on The Blocker. Sometimes its a right turn he doesn't want you to make. The scenario: Cars are stopped at a red light when you approach the intersection. Everyone leaves a reasonable amount of distance between their car and the one in front of them -- except the guy who is right in front of you and blocking your entrance to the left turn lane. For some reason this guy needs a nice cushion of two whole car lengths. It seems like he notices you and your flashing turn signal in his rear view as well, and just does not want you to get into your turn lane. You watch as the green turn arrow comes and goes, and only when his own light turns green are you allowed to move into the turn lane, having already missed an entire cycle. Road rage level:7 (out of 10)Solution: I am generally not an advocate of honking, but this is a situation that calls for the double-beep.

[wsox8 10]

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=dI commute over a hundred miles a day, don't get me started.

I AGREE. This area does suck!

[RakeMyBlind 0]

You have a 5-lane road where the middle lane acts as a right/left turning lane and someone pulls out turning left into the turning lane. They continue to ride in the turning lane until it's clear blocking you from moving into the turning lane to make your left hand turn. The road is just like the one pictured except with more stores/traffic making the situation much more dangerous. As for the riding in the left lane on the interstate, I usually ride in the left lane going about 10 over the speed limit. When I see someone approaching I let them by unless of course I'm in the process of passing someone myself. While I'm in the process of passing the slower cars if you decide to tailgate, high-beam or weave back and forth I usually counter this by slowing down to piss you off. Unless of course there are people behind you, in that case I wait till we clear the traffic and you pull to the right to pass and I speed up taking the whole line with me pitting you behind the next set of slower cars.

[Dubey 1,035]

As for the riding in the left lane on the interstate, I usually ride in the left lane going about 10 over the speed limit. When I see someone approaching I let them by unless of course I'm in the process of passing someone myself.

this is douchey. If you are in the fast lane, it is your responsibility to yield to a faster car coming behind you, regardless of whether you are passing somebody or not. This involves not getting yourself in a position where you are blocking the left lane while passing a slower vehicle in the right. This means either slowing down in the right lane and waiting for a better oppurtunity to pass, or speeding up to pass, so as not to clog up the left lane.

[brvheart 1,753]

this is douchey.

Yes. I hate people that do that, as described earlier.