The Conspriacy Theorist

[AAsnake88 0]

I'm sitting at a $100nl table on FCP tonight, and was entertained for some 2 hours by this guy who went on and on about how rigged online poker is. I was going to put it in the fish thread, but it really deserves it's own. I've edited it down to just the table chat and spaced it out to make it easy on the eyes (I also deleted the name of the conspriacy website he was blabbing about), and as you will see, he was completely unprovoked by any of the players. He felt the need to let us all know how he felt about online poker, both when he was in the game and after he left and was observing. It starts off about 5-10 minutes after I sat in, just after one of the players rivered a straight:YouShouldFld:wow that *** cant miss YouShouldFld:fookin house player YouShouldFld:lol *** is up with those two seats YouShouldFld:lol here it comes YouShouldFld:lol YouShouldFld:right YouShouldFld:this table is looking scammier by the minute YouShouldFld:wow man these poker programs can really stick it to you YouShouldFld:especially when you are playing versus ring of *** YouShouldFld:ring of th*i*e*v*e*s YouShouldFld:i love how on your first day, first game played i get a straight flush YouShouldFld:then beg for cards thereafterYouShouldFld:meanwhile, any *** is good as long he deposits big and raises alot with junk YouShouldFld:lol YouShouldFld:kiddin me right YouShouldFld:oh this is ridiculous how come baddawg and snake get aa like candy YouShouldFld:and everytime these same three seats get down they get reloaded? YouShouldFld:that, sounds like a *** YouShouldFld:but then again most online poker is a $cam anyways DaveCrusher:who gets to win YouShouldFld:xxxxxxxxxxxx dot come #248883444:YouShouldFld wins ($20.70) Two pairs. Kings and QueensYouShouldFld:im back in my kq draw cycle again, netting nearly nothing or losing my entire stack, fortunately these paint heavy programs dont impress me much YouShouldFld:guess they ran out of jack 3 havent seen one in at least 3 hands YouShouldFld:ridiculous YouShouldFld:notice how the 4 biggest stacks get incredible hands YouShouldFld:and *** the same money back and forth to each other ad nauseum YouShouldFld:only a program is that keen round after round after round YouShouldFld:wow, i rest my case YouShouldFld:EIGHT HIGH TAKES IT HOME YouShouldFld:thats about as rigged as it gets YouShouldFld:baddawg is worst player ive ever seen yet is reloaded constantly YouShouldFld:with absolutely nothing, not even hitting a draw just programmed to win period YouShouldFld:luckily with sites like xxxxxxxxxxxx.com YouShouldFld:we can know the *** is alive and well all over th internet YouShouldFld:lol these editing programs for chat are made by f*ing i*d*i*o*ts YouShouldFld:yup back in the same old jack 6 cycle again over and over and over, usually suited so they can su*ck*er you in, nearly every single one is suited YouShouldFld:yup same a22 flops here we go cycle back again YouShouldFld:meanwhile, 910 suited guy is giving away chips like no tomorrow YouShouldFld:and every single time im multiways with draw cards i hit bottom pair to big raises by the same cant lose seats YouShouldFld:how does that work where u know what is going to happen in a given flop YouShouldFld:unless this is all a program YouShouldFld:and skill is secondary to reading the program YouShouldFld:gee, you think my ace 9 is good? no way YouShouldFld:oh and heres the 38 suited following up again, hey, call these *** f*U*c*k*ZS and tell em dealing the same cards for 10 rounds aint poker YouShouldFld:why is it when i get free cards after blind thy are ALWAYS sh*******it YouShouldFld:yet this dumfuq cant miss even with KING FIVE YouShouldFld:see 99 dollars to 184 dollars for worst player on table? YouShouldFld:lol YouShouldFld:lol baddawg34:easy YouShouldFld:hey you fuqing bot kizz my *** YouShouldFld:and no way someone as *** fishy as you hits that many golden huge pots YouShouldFld:no, YouShouldFld:fuqing YouShouldFld:way YouShouldFld:meanwhile those of us who have a clue, are totally cardless for ten rounds? YouShouldFld:righto YouShouldFld:lol YouShouldFld:too bad cause its ppl like these that ruin poker by not letting the fish get eaten alive YouShouldFld:entrails and all YouShouldFld:look at that YouShouldFld:man how many ways can i say "rigged" YouShouldFld:lol YouShouldFld:all thes free hands, close to 60 of them i get absolutely nothing YouShouldFld, 15 seconds left.YouShouldFld:jack three YouShouldFld:jack *** three YouShouldFld:baddawg calls k5 utg and two pairs river for huge pot YouShouldFld:oh great now comes all the convenient disconnects for the house players YouShouldFld:now i get a straight flush YouShouldFld:*** *** house player gbpokerfan:ok YouShouldFld:house player lol YouShouldFld:i had 49 lol YouShouldFld:lol YouShouldFld:wow this *** guy cannot miss YouShouldFld:rest my case YouShouldFld:house player YouShouldFld:never misses YouShouldFld:ever YouShouldFld:e1 else lucky to catch a pair even with go in cards YouShouldFld:how does that work again YouShouldFld:oh yeah cause its programmed that way YouShouldFld:its the donk protection plan YouShouldFld:see? how many hands has he won? YouShouldFld:what, 20? YouShouldFld:how many pps have i got? none, not one YouShouldFld:but man i get the draws like a *** YouShouldFld:there is no way that is real he would be busted to railbird in real cards in 20 minutes YouShouldFld:the house aint *** YouShouldFld:they protect ppl who move chips i.e. rake makers YouShouldFld:i could do the same it would ruin my game YouShouldFld:but i start raising big the rng (cough cough) starts dumping hands my way i know the gig YouShouldFld:i bet if i raise up 11 dollars preflop with nothing YouShouldFld:the cars will magically start appearing YouShouldFld:see like this hand a perfectly good limp in hand, 56 clubs i nail straight for grand total of 2 dollars and forty cents? YouShouldFld:oh well, thse a$$holes are ruining poker with these lame programs YouShouldFld:but the good thing is, donks come from here to real casino, with real odds and get STOMPED YouShouldFld:lol YouShouldFld:omfg ru serious YouShouldFld:i had ace 8 he gets ace 9 they flop ace YouShouldFld:see? i recommend every player except those four sitout YouShouldFld:AASNAKE, BADDAWG, DAVE, AND GBPOKER, THE CANT LOSE TEAM YouShouldFld:HOW DOES THAT WORK AGAIN, FOUR PLAYERS GET 99% OF THE HANDS, AND ALL JUST HAPPENED TO BE BIG RAISERS WITH NOTHING? YouShouldFld:HOW DOES THAT WORK NOW? YouShouldFld:IS THAT POKER? YouShouldFld:NO YouShouldFld:ITS JUST A *** MACHINE AND THE HOUSE WINS AT *** THE LAST I HEARD YouShouldFld:HEY DEALER I GOT YOUR CLEAN TABLE CHAT HANGING YouShouldFld:SEE THAT? YouShouldFld:THERE YA GO IM TELLIN U GUYS SITOUT CAUSE THESE FOUR ARE THE WINNERS YouShouldFld:EVEN IF THEY ARE BRAIN DEAD AND U THINK, OH, THATS A DOUBLE UP FOR SURE YouShouldFld:IT WONT HAPPEN YouShouldFld:WATCH THE FLOW BADDAWG WINS THEN DAVE WINS THEN GB WINS THEN FINALLY AASNAKE WINS YouShouldFld:OOPS DID I JUST LAY THAT OUT? YouShouldFld:AND IT HAPPENED? YouShouldFld:OOPS YouShouldFld:I GUESS ONLINE POKER REALLY IS RIGGED YouShouldFld:SEE WHO IS IN HAND, SAME THREE AGAIN YouShouldFld:SEE WHO WON? EXACTLY SO FAR THE ORDER I SAID YouShouldFld:I SHOULD BE PSYCHIC, OR, THIS IS ALL RIGGED YouShouldFld:HMMMMMMMMM YouShouldFld:WHICH ONE YouShouldFld:THERE YA GO YouShouldFld:TIME FOR SNAKE TO GET A HAND YouShouldFld:OR IS IT DAVE THIS TIME YouShouldFld:NO THIS IS THE TRANSFER FROM BADDAWG TO CRUSHER HAND YouShouldFld:NOW SNAKE GETS HIS DUE, MEANWHILE, 6 OTHER PLAYERS ARE WONDERING WHY THEY ARENT SO LUCKY YouShouldFld:WELL, ITS SIMPLE, DEPOSIT 500 DOLLARS AND YOU GET IN SPECIAL CLUB YouShouldFld:WHAT, DID, I JUST SAY YouShouldFld:TOLD U EVEN BEFORE FLOP HIT YouShouldFld:HOW DO I KNOW SO MUCH YouShouldFld:I GO TO CASINO, I TRY AND MAN, I GET IT WRONG EVERYTIME YouShouldFld:HERE, ITS SO EASY YouShouldFld:WHY? ITS SUPPOSED TO BE WORLD *** 2 BILLION RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR BLAH BLAH BLAH YouShouldFld:LIAR LYARS LYARS YouShouldFld:LOL YouShouldFld:LOL YouShouldFld:DONT WORRY TORTUGA, ONLY FOUR WINNING SEATS ON THIS TABLE, AND U AINT ONE OF EM, THEY ARE. THEY ARE UNBEATABLE 100% UNTOUCHABLE JUST LIKE NORMAL POKER YouShouldFld:SEE THERES BAD DAWG WITH ANOTHER *** CALL UTG YouShouldFld:HEY CRAZY RECOMMEND YOU VAMOOSE YouShouldFld:CAUSE U GOT SOME BADDDDDDDD PLAYERS HERE, BUT THEY GET CARDS ALMOST EVERY HAND YouShouldFld:I'LL TELL YOU WHICH FOUR YouShouldFld:COUNT THE BIG STACKS, EENIE MEENIE MINEY MO YouShouldFld:REST4 YouShouldFld:MY CASE YouShouldFld:THATS LIKE AT LEAST 3 BIG PP'S HE GOT YouShouldFld:THIS ONE TRIPS YouShouldFld:MEANWHILE, IF U HIT A PAIR ON FLOP LUCKY YOU YouShouldFld:CCRAZY IM TELLIN U GO TO ANOTHER TABLE YouShouldFld:THESE FOUR WILL BUST U YouShouldFld:OKAY YouShouldFld:DONT SAY DIDNT WARN YA YouShouldFld:THEY NEVER LISTEN YouShouldFld:THINK SKILL COMES INTO PLAY, IT DOESNT MEAN A GODAM THING YouShouldFld:CRAZY YOU ARE GOING TO GO BROKE HERE, I AM ACTUALLY AHEAD AT THIS POINT SO NO SOUR GRAPES YouShouldFld:EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN *** YouShouldFld:BIG TIME YouShouldFld:LOL MY MY THEY JUST NEVER LISTEN DO THEY YouShouldFld:SIGH YouShouldFld:DUDE I WARNED U YouShouldFld:AT LEAST WE KNOW NOW THAT THIS ISNT REAL INCLUDING EVERY WIN THEY HAVE IT IS ALL SETUP YouShouldFld:NOBODY 2 OUTS THAT MANY TIMES TO BUST SO MANY PPL baddawg34:nh YouShouldFld:LIKE I SAID YouShouldFld:FROM BADDAWG TO DAVE After sitting out for a while he's been picked up from the table and is now an observer...YouShouldFld:DUDE I TOLD U THIS IS RIGGED YouShouldFld:TH SAME FOUR SEATS BUSTED YOU TWICE YouShouldFld:WITH JUNK YouShouldFld:U GUYS SHOULD HIDE YOUR COLLUDING A LITTLE BETTER YouShouldFld:CAUSE I CAUGHT IT ABOUT 45 MINUTES AGO FilmoreSlim777:report it YouShouldFld:LOL YouShouldFld:RIGHT YouShouldFld:TELL THE HOUSE THEIR OWN PEOPLE ARE STEALING YouShouldFld:WELL HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN SAME FOUR SEATS WIN EVERYTHING IN SAME ORDER? YouShouldFld:HEY RICHMAN I TOLD THE LAST GUY TO LEAVE THIS TABLE YouShouldFld:THEY BUSTED HIM TWICE YouShouldFld:U ARE NEXT YouShouldFld:LET THESE DONKEYS TRADE STACKS TOGETHER THATS WHAT THEY DO YouShouldFld:TIME FOR A BADDAWG RELOAD I CAN SMELL IT YouShouldFld:HEY ZMAN AND TOBE YouShouldFld:IF U WANT TO GO BROKE, STAY HERE YouShouldFld:THOSE FOUR SEATS HAVE BUSTED EVERY PLAYER WHO SITS DOWN YouShouldFld:*RECOMMEND FOR STACK SAFETY YOU LEAVE", CONSIDER IT A GIFT YouShouldFld:MAN I WARNED U YouShouldFld:OVER AND OVER YouShouldFld:I SAID RIGHT NOW TIME FOR BADDAWG RELOAD YouShouldFld:AND THERE YA GO IF JST AND RICHMAN AND TOBE DONT LEAVE YouShouldFld:THEY WILL LEAVE EVERYTHING HERE YouShouldFld:DUDE I WARNED EVERYONE NONE LISTENED THEY ALL, TO A MAN WENT BROKE YouShouldFld:JST THATS A TEASER WIN YouShouldFld:ITS SAMETHING IN SAME POSITION THEY DID TO LAST GUY YouShouldFld:RIGHT BEFORE HE WENT BROKE YouShouldFld:YAWN, I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR PEOPLE WHO IGNORE WARNINGS YouShouldFld:JSTGAM, ARE YOU LISTENING? YouShouldFld:RICHMAN, TOBE, YOU ARE GOING TO GO BROKE AT THIS TABLE IT IS RIGGED BIG TIME YouShouldFld:I DIDNT GO BROKE IM TOO SMART FOR THAT YouShouldFld:IM JUST COURTESY WARNING U YouShouldFld:BUT DONT LISTEN, GO BROKE LIKE THE LAST FIVE GUYS THAT SAT IN THAT SEAT YouShouldFld:SEAT(S) YouShouldFld:THERE YA GO ANOTHER K8 K5 UTG GLORIOUS RELOAD SPECIAL YouShouldFld:SIGH YouShouldFld:WONT BE LONG NOW YouShouldFld:JST THEY ARE GOING TO BUST U IN HALF YouShouldFld:U ARE UP, NOW LEAVE YouShouldFld:HEY KUI YouShouldFld:IF U STAY THERE, IN THAT SEAT, U ARE GOING TO GO BROKE YouShouldFld:I PROMISE YouShouldFld:BADDAWG AND AASNAKE AND GBPOKERFAN ARE UNBEATABLE Now a believer joins in the chat....lolie:maybe jst is one of them lolie:replaced dave ? YouShouldFld:LOL YouShouldFld:TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH YouShouldFld:THESE PEOPLE ARE PETTY CRIMINALS WHO CANT HACK IT IN THE REAL WORLD YouShouldFld:YOU KNOW, BORING JOBS ETC ETC Some 2 hours after he started his rant, he finally gave up and disappeared. TY YouShouldFld for the entertainment.

[try__an__hit 0]

I'll just say lol, cos thats too long to read.

[Royal_Tour 0]

LOL dude, i love that guy!! hahahhahah sewriously he's hilarious

[litlebullet 0]

ban his ****ing chat. I woulda got in his face if I was playing, it wouldn't have been pretty...I didn't read but 1/5 of that and we woulda been already arguing.

[ErikRyland1 0]

I loled @ YouShouldFld:guess they ran out of jack 3 havent seen one in at least 3 hands And the STFU bot after they guy chats back 2 him.&YouShouldFld:U GUYS SHOULD HIDE YOUR COLLUDING A LITTLE BETTER YouShouldFld:CAUSE I CAUGHT IT ABOUT 45 MINUTES AGO FilmoreSlim777:report itYouShouldFld:LOL YouShouldFld:RIGHTYouShouldFld:TELL THE HOUSE THEIR OWN PEOPLE ARE STEALING haha

[milojones 0]

only read about the first 1/3 of this but i know how the story ends. whenever im playing heads up and playing really well (heads up is the only thing im a consistent winner in right now.) and continue to make calls that "only a donkey would make" people start in on this conspiracy nonsense. one guy emailed fulltilt about 8 months ago and told them that i was running a bot under my screen name.

[Dubey 1,035]

YouShouldFld:yup back in the same old jack 6 cycle again over and over and over, usually suited so they can su*ck*er you in, nearly every single one is suited hahahaha

[SweetDaddyFreak 0]

The best part is that he is an actualy human being that is living somewhere in the world as we speak

[Vick12 0]

I'm sitting at a $100nl table on FCP tonight....then tons and tons of some idiot talking

Anthony...I love ya like a fat kid loves cake, but.....any way we can get a Reader's Digest version?kthxbuhbye

[pauld22 0]

YouShouldFld:I DIDNT GO BROKE IM TOO SMART FOR THAT

I liked this one

[pokerinc 0]

the best nut I ever played w/ was telling the table how he was recording his play for the FBI to help them build an online poker's rigged case. He underbet every pot of course, so he let the draws get there. It was one of the most comedic experiences I've had at an online table.

[MoChipsPlese 0]

I love online broccoli especially when it comes with cheesy chat.It's donkalicious!

[litlebullet 0]

I'm watching "America's Funniest Home Video's" and it seems lame compared to this.

[finztotheleft 0]

I'd pay to see a video of that loon screaming at his computer as he was furiously typing that in.

[FourFlusher 0]

I love a good conspiracy.

[HOUSTONRAISE 0]

there seems to be one of these guys at just about every table i play lately. i wonder if its just coincidence that they always seem to be losing money.

[DoinSublime 0]

How great would it be if this guy went storming around the net trying to plead his case/look for evidence, anded up finding this thread.I can only hope.

[hblask 1]

So this is news that Anthony is a house player? I thought that was common knowledge. Why the long post to prove it?

[Merby 3]

Nice post......for a bot! :PRigged man, it's *f'in rigged*.Man, this guy just *spews* golden "fish one-liners"

[AAsnake88 0]

lol @ who's in chat in the 100k gtd. tables.

[Merby 3]

Which table?

[checkymcfold 0]

i am at once impressed and absolutely flabbergasted by his proper use of "ad nauseam" with proper spelling in the middle of all this gibberish.

[nutzbuster 7]

i am at once impressed and absolutely flabbergasted by his proper use of "ad nauseam" with proper spelling in the middle of all this gibberish.

I am at once flabbernauseated and impressed by your Adgasteum.Period.