LadyGrey 6 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 It's not THE best way.Ok ok, abstinence is the best way, but really... go with the double dutch. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Most girls who are sexually active have at least one pregnancy scare in their lives. Unless she has an irregular type of cycle (which is very common in teenagers) she is very likely not pregnant one week after her period. If she has an irregular cycle she could have ovulated already. She may just be hormonally out of whack, though. Honestly, this is 50/50. The guys that are thinking she's being silly shouldn't be so sure of themselves. Anyway here's some advice for birth control that may be helpful:SIIHP.Hahaha, no really:She may want to consider some form of contraceptive pill/ patch/ or shot. Planned Parenthood would be happy to help her out if she feels she can't go to her mom and regular doctor. If you are having sex, she should be seeing the doc for a gyno exam once a year anyway.The best way to increase the effectiveness of the condom is to add a little spermicidal jelly. The spermicidal lubricant (get KY jelly with non-oxynol 9) irritates the sensitive vaginal tissue of some women, so I recommend putting a squirt of it in the reservoir tip of the condom, thus bathing your swimmers in deadly poison immediately after they launch. Also, if you decide for some reason to come on her, keep it away from her ass, thighs, and vaginal area in general. The odds are low, but sperm are highly motivated and you need to keep it far away from the entrance to the promised land. I recommend she just swallow it. On this subject, if you decide to do the thing where you pull out, DON'T. In my experience, most teenage boys do not have the physical ability to control the scout team. I am here because a teenage boy couldn't keep the recon team from capturing the flag.Now, if she takes the test Monday and it's negative, make sure she takes another one if she hasn't had a period in a few weeks. The results of early pregnancy tests can be wrong if not enough HCG is in her urine yet. Also unlikely, but scary and possible, some women occasionally have bleeding even after they are pregnant and mistake it for a period. Now, go to the store and get you some KY with spermicide in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I see you, SuperJon. You'd better follow my advice, too. I know whereof I speak. I was teenage slut and never once got preggo on accident. Link to post Share on other sites
IQCrash 1 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Anyway here's some advice for birth control that may be helpful:SIIHP.God I love you. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 God I love you.Just trying to make the world a better place! Link to post Share on other sites
Don Giovanni 0 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 special ed, always gettin into trouble Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 yes. yes i did.a couple tips:1) females are more inclined to get pregnant if they acheive orgasm after the male ejaculates. solution: make sure she doesn't climax, ever.2) buttseks (as already mentioned) and bj's, or ATM if she's really wild.3) double bag it, just to make sure.writing this down. I will never pleasure a woman again. Link to post Share on other sites
MightyLouse 0 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 1) females are more inclined to get pregnant if they acheive orgasm after the male ejaculates. solution: make sure she doesn't climax, ever.Sorry, honey. My apparent "inability" to get you off is actually a carefully considered tactical consideration taking into account the values of our unencumbered futures, and the fact that you think sucking dick is icky. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 writing this down. I will never pleasure a woman again.Have you done it before? Link to post Share on other sites
LongLiveYorke 38 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Have you done it before?Burn.But seriously, you give great advice, Nikki. They should teach this stuff in middle school over and over again so kids know how to do it before they start in High School (because they do start in High School) and so they don't think condoms or KY with Spermicidal lubricant are "icky" when they are having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyJoJo 18 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Also, if you decide for some reason to come on her, keep it away from her ass, thighs, and vaginal area in general. The odds are low, but sperm are highly motivated and you need to keep it far away from the entrance to the promised land. Â This one time (yes, at band camp, shut up) I was tittie-fucking this chick and she was all, "Oh baby, I want you to come on me," and I figured why not, it's far enough away. So she was sitting up with my stuff all over her neck and chin and I'm all like, "You're such a dirty little slut, aren't you?" and she was just smiling and it started slowly dripping down between her boobs. I thought, "Look at my guys go," but they kept going lower and lower and they were headed straight for her vagina and I started freaking out a little. I jumped up to get a towel as she did the hand waving thing that indicates she was getting a little panicky. I told her to lie down on her back to try to slow it down, but they kept going. I told her to lie perfectly still thinking maybe they were like t-rexes and were blind without movement and for a long second they did stop. But then they started right back up again and I couldn't find a towel or a sock or anything. Finally, right before they reached the promised land, I grabbed the comforter and smothered her with it like she was on fire, rolling her over and over. I took the comforter off and the stuff was everywhere, but it got it off of her. I threw the blanket on the floor and we shared a good laugh about it. Â Then we looked down on the floor. Â The sperm were coming back together from all parts of the blanket, reforming like the T-1000. There was no time to lose. I grabbed the blanket and ran to the fireplace, throwing it into the fire. You could hear the little sperm and their little screams of agony. I felt kinda bad for the little guys, but at least we were safe again. Â Or were we? Â We turned our backs for a second and one last sperm leapt out of the fire and attached to her ass. I tried to smack it, but it was too quick. It scurried between her legs and shot up inside her. Â I'm still paying child support. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
IQCrash 1 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 This one time (yes, at band camp, shut up) I was tittie-fucking this chick and she was all, "Oh baby, I want you to come on me," and I figured why not, it's far enough away. So she was sitting up with my stuff all over her neck and chin and I'm all like, "You're such a dirty little slut, aren't you?" and she was just smiling and it started slowly dripping down between her boobs. I thought, "Look at my guys go," but they kept going lower and lower and they were headed straight for her vagina and I started freaking out a little. I jumped up to get a towel as she did the hand waving thing that indicates she was getting a little panicky. I told her to lie down on her back to try to slow it down, but they kept going. I told her to lie perfectly still thinking maybe they were like t-rexes and were blind without movement and for a long second they did stop. But then they started right back up again and I couldn't find a towel or a sock or anything. Finally, right before they reached the promised land, I grabbed the comforter and smothered her with it like she was on fire, rolling her over and over. I took the comforter off and the stuff was everywhere, but it got it off of her. I threw the blanket on the floor and we shared a good laugh about it. Then we looked down on the floor.The sperm were coming back together from all parts of the blanket, reforming like the T-1000. There was no time to lose. I grabbed the blanket and ran to the fireplace, throwing it into the fire. You could hear the little sperm and their little screams of agony. I felt kinda bad for the little guys, but at least we were safe again.Or were we?We turned our backs for a second and one last sperm leapt out of the fire and attached to her ass. I tried to smack it, but it was too quick. It scurried between her legs and shot up inside her. I'm still paying child support. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 We turned our backs for a second and one last sperm leapt out of the fire and attached to her ass. I tried to smack it, but it was too quick. It scurried between her legs and shot up inside her. I'm still paying child support.You think what I think, only better. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Burn.But seriously, you give great advice, Nikki. They should teach this stuff in middle school over and over again so kids know how to do it before they start in High School (because they do start in High School) and so they don't think condoms or KY with Spermicidal lubricant are "icky" when they are having sex.I learned about condoms in middle school because AIDS was huge in the news at that time and still kind of "new". It wasn't until college that I had a teacher (Human Sexuality) frank enough to really get down to the nitty gritty of sex and contraception. Saying, "USE A CONDOM" isn't enough. If they aren't being used properly, the information isn't very helpful. I also think the taboo needs to be lifted from the subject. I know we don't want to "encourage" young people to ****, but If we can't talk frankly about it, they don't learn and that leads to false information. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 This one time (yes, at band camp, shut up) ...I'm still paying child support.Wow. This was a very entertaining read. I could even picture it in my head. Hilarious. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Have you done it before?there was this one girl, one time, and she said she didn't hate it. Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 there was this one girl, one time, and she said she didn't hate it.how much did she charge? Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 how much did she charge?dude, whatever, it wasn't like that20 bucks Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 dude, whatever, it wasn't like that20 bucks well then tell me what it was like...in great detail...slowly...sloooowly.... Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 well then tell me what it was like...in great detail...slowly...sloooowly....you know, this does remind me of a funny story. one time, me and 2 of my buddies were running a train on this girl, and even though I was first (thats how I roll), she was impressed with my performance the most. that was an ego boost, you know, cause she had a lot to compare to. Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 This one time (yes, at band camp, shut up) I was tittie-fucking this chick and she was all, "Oh baby, I want you to come on me," and I figured why not, it's far enough away. So she was sitting up with my stuff all over her neck and chin and I'm all like, "You're such a dirty little slut, aren't you?" and she was just smiling and it started slowly dripping down between her boobs. I thought, "Look at my guys go," but they kept going lower and lower and they were headed straight for her vagina and I started freaking out a little. I jumped up to get a towel as she did the hand waving thing that indicates she was getting a little panicky. I told her to lie down on her back to try to slow it down, but they kept going. I told her to lie perfectly still thinking maybe they were like t-rexes and were blind without movement and for a long second they did stop. But then they started right back up again and I couldn't find a towel or a sock or anything. Finally, right before they reached the promised land, I grabbed the comforter and smothered her with it like she was on fire, rolling her over and over. I took the comforter off and the stuff was everywhere, but it got it off of her. I threw the blanket on the floor and we shared a good laugh about it. Then we looked down on the floor.The sperm were coming back together from all parts of the blanket, reforming like the T-1000. There was no time to lose. I grabbed the blanket and ran to the fireplace, throwing it into the fire. You could hear the little sperm and their little screams of agony. I felt kinda bad for the little guys, but at least we were safe again.Or were we?We turned our backs for a second and one last sperm leapt out of the fire and attached to her ass. I tried to smack it, but it was too quick. It scurried between her legs and shot up inside her. I'm still paying child support. Link to post Share on other sites
fleung22 1 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 This one time (yes, at band camp, shut up) I was tittie-fucking this chick and she was all, "Oh baby, I want you to come on me," and I figured why not, it's far enough away. So she was sitting up with my stuff all over her neck and chin and I'm all like, "You're such a dirty little slut, aren't you?" and she was just smiling and it started slowly dripping down between her boobs. I thought, "Look at my guys go," but they kept going lower and lower and they were headed straight for her vagina and I started freaking out a little. I jumped up to get a towel as she did the hand waving thing that indicates she was getting a little panicky. I told her to lie down on her back to try to slow it down, but they kept going. I told her to lie perfectly still thinking maybe they were like t-rexes and were blind without movement and for a long second they did stop. But then they started right back up again and I couldn't find a towel or a sock or anything. Finally, right before they reached the promised land, I grabbed the comforter and smothered her with it like she was on fire, rolling her over and over. I took the comforter off and the stuff was everywhere, but it got it off of her. I threw the blanket on the floor and we shared a good laugh about it. Then we looked down on the floor.The sperm were coming back together from all parts of the blanket, reforming like the T-1000. There was no time to lose. I grabbed the blanket and ran to the fireplace, throwing it into the fire. You could hear the little sperm and their little screams of agony. I felt kinda bad for the little guys, but at least we were safe again.Or were we?We turned our backs for a second and one last sperm leapt out of the fire and attached to her ass. I tried to smack it, but it was too quick. It scurried between her legs and shot up inside her. I'm still paying child support. LOLthis guy kills me Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisRichey 1 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Awesome story Joey. Link to post Share on other sites
Fubar The Sperm 1 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 This one time (yes, at band camp, shut up) I was tittie-fucking this chick and she was all, "Oh baby, I want you to come on me," and I figured why not, it's far enough away. So she was sitting up with my stuff all over her neck and chin and I'm all like, "You're such a dirty little slut, aren't you?" and she was just smiling and it started slowly dripping down between her boobs. I thought, "Look at my guys go," but they kept going lower and lower and they were headed straight for her vagina and I started freaking out a little. I jumped up to get a towel as she did the hand waving thing that indicates she was getting a little panicky. I told her to lie down on her back to try to slow it down, but they kept going. I told her to lie perfectly still thinking maybe they were like t-rexes and were blind without movement and for a long second they did stop. But then they started right back up again and I couldn't find a towel or a sock or anything. Finally, right before they reached the promised land, I grabbed the comforter and smothered her with it like she was on fire, rolling her over and over. I took the comforter off and the stuff was everywhere, but it got it off of her. I threw the blanket on the floor and we shared a good laugh about it. Then we looked down on the floor.The sperm were coming back together from all parts of the blanket, reforming like the T-1000. There was no time to lose. I grabbed the blanket and ran to the fireplace, throwing it into the fire. You could hear the little sperm and their little screams of agony. I felt kinda bad for the little guys, but at least we were safe again.Or were we?We turned our backs for a second and one last sperm leapt out of the fire and attached to her ass. I tried to smack it, but it was too quick. It scurried between her legs and shot up inside her. I'm still paying child support.I actually didn't find the story funny at all. Am I the only one? Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I actually didn't find the story funny at all. Am I the only one?no, I agree completely. this was a very serious cautionary tale. you people should pay attention, this could happen to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now