I Called In Sick Today

[Hobbes 1]

Either Royal is typing a novel, or he left the posting window open.

It was the first one apparently. Great post Royal. You can change your title to "idiot" as well...

[Royal_Tour 0]

i dont care who u are at the time, trying to mack a 20 year hottie when your 17 and awkward is not the easiest thing to build yourself up for.!!

[Timdog1010 0]

i dont care who u are at the time, trying to mack a 20 year hottie when your 17 and awkward is not the easiest thing to build yourself up for.!!

Hey, if you've read any of this thread today you know that you don't have to explain yourself to us!

[Randy Reed 0]

forever????

[Bizzle 0]

i dont care who u are at the time, trying to mack a 20 year hottie when your 17 and awkward is not the easiest thing to build yourself up for.!!

Notice the one day only titles that many of us have.I think Ouch-8s is the only one who hasn't posted a story in this vein yet.

[Hobbes 1]

i dont care who u are at the time, trying to mack a 20 year hottie when your 17 and awkward is not the easiest thing to build yourself up for.!!

Hey, if you've read any of this thread today you know that you don't have to explain yourself to us!

wow. you and hobbes are definately neck and neck on biggest teenage moron.I like it.

[Royal_Tour 0]

lmao!!this is my uber dork home

[Ouch-8s 4]

I'll bet Royal has some good "I blew golden opportunities in high school' stories...

I know I've seen Golden, but I've never seen a poster with the screenname Opportunities around...

[Timdog1010 0]

I know I've seen Golden, but I've never seen a poster with the screenname Opportunities around...

golden opportunities = redpill99

[Trustno1 0]

This is post high school so it is even more pathetic. I went out on a date with this girl, dinner drinks then back to her place. We were talking on her couch about some big trip she just took and led me to her room where her photo album was to show some pictures. We sat on her bed and she started talking about how tired she was and wanted to go to bed. So I told her goodnight and let her get some rest. On the way to my car it hit me. Needless to say that I never called her again out of pure humiliation.

[Timdog1010 0]

Ok kids (if there's anyone left out there) I'm heading home.If you know any high school boys please show them this thread. Let's make a difference out there people.I'm out.

[Hobbes 1]

If you know any high school boys please show them this thread. Let's make a difference out there people.

You guys are just begging for a FYP...

[Trustno1 0]

wow, tim.alright I'm gone. wish me luck not getting hit by a freaking tornado.

Tornados suck and blow

[Hobbes 1]

So I told her goodnight and let her get some rest. On the way to my car it hit me. Needless to say that I never called her again out of pure humiliation.

The moral of all these stories is that teenage boys can't read between the lines.

[Royal_Tour 0]

F- that!!!i want them to go through the same puberty awkward phases that i had to go through.

[Ouch-8s 4]

Notice the one day only titles that many of us have.I think Ouch-8s is the only one who hasn't posted a story in this vein yet.

Sorry, I've been in and out of the thread all day. You see, I'm not actually at work today. I just want to not have 15 pages to have to read tomorrow :have work to do but I'll be quiet about it from now on face:Junior year of high school. I become good friends with one of the other guys at school, who has a hot older sister who is a senior. She is that "sister that all his friends want to get it on with". But being a senior, she has little to do with any of us, espcially me as I am the "never gonna bang anyone remotely that hot" friend.Fast forward two years, I'm in university. Turns out that Ouch-8s and Hottie Older Sister end up at the same school, and actually live just down the street from each other. We start to hang out, drive each other back and forth from our hometown, etc. One day we are watching a movie on TV when her roommate comes home and wants to watch something else. So HOS suggests we finish watching the movie on the TV in her bedroom. Sure, thinks me. She stretches out on the bed with me, watches the whole movie, I make NO MOVE because she is one of my best friend's sister, and besides, while I have improved since highschool (after all, by now I have had sex with, like, at least four women) she is still way out of my league. At the end, she says, "That was kind of disappointing." I reply, "Really? I kinda liked the movie." She looks at me like I'm retarded (probably right) and we never spent much time together again after that.If I could change my title, I would. I don't often think back to my university days with regret, but that day... Oh man. I coulda had HOS.

[Hobbes 1]

At the end, she says, "That was kind of disappointing." I reply, "Really? I kinda liked the movie." She looks at me like I'm retarded (probably right) and we never spent much time together again after that.

Hahahaha. I could tell anyone who knows me that story as my own and it wouldn't be doubted for a second.

[Bizzle 0]

If I could change my title, I would. I don't often think back to my university days with regret, but that day... Oh man. I coulda had HOS.

Well done. I love that you acronym'd her name.And with that, I am out. Same time, same place tomorrow.

[Royal_Tour 0]

baaaaahahahahahahah!!!!!!!but, alas.. that story sadly reminds me of another "i suck at life" story of my own with a friends girlfriends sister.I'l fill u guys in tomorrow., if u ask nicely, man, i seriously sucked at life, thank god im a sexual predator now.

[Hobbes 1]

baaaaahahahahahahah!!!!!!!but, alas.. that story sadly reminds me of another "i suck at life" story of my own with a friends girlfriends sister.I'l fill u guys in tomorrow., if u ask nicely, man, i seriously sucked at life, thank god im a sexual predator now.

a grade-A sexual predator?

[mrdannyg 274]

ok i waited a bit to post to let everyone appreciate the Dinosaurs comic at the bottom. also because it took me the first couple hours just to catch up on this thread.seriously, this thread might be one of the most crazy-funny-awesome things in history. you guys are all huge dorks like me, but not in the "i'm a sad dork who spends all his time on the internet and has no friends way," which is awesometastic.i'm reading that day-by-day baseball thing, so i might get to some favourites. also i'm a huge baseball fan, so all you non-baseballers have one more annoyance.about the dodgers - izturis is great defensively, and took some time at 2B while with the jays. he would be a significant upgrade to anyone else on the dodgers. don't see why he wouldn't be willing to switch.to whoever mentioned i like the jays (bizzle?)- there's definitely a few on this forum. we'll have to organize a game sometime.long posts are -EV, so i'll be back in a few with some high school anecdotes. mine aren't great, but some of your guys' made me feel better, so i can do the same.

[Hobbes 1]

On "tell stories about how dumb you were with girls in high school" day, check this out:Today's Top 10 PostersMember..........Joined...........................Total Member Posts...........Posts Today...........% of today's posts Hobbes...........October 27th, 2005.......2,650.................................87..........................3.12% Sad, really.

[mrdannyg 274]

updated:Hobbes October 27th, 2005 2,654 91 3.23%not that sad though - as you will read i sucked in high school, but i don't really suck any less now, so at least you guys have the advantage of currently being sexual predators. i think i'm making progress, but baby steps...maybe if I do TP/MT (simultaneously PM/WL of course) this summer, i can get sunglasses and call myself a "pro" and snag some floozies.on to the post (which i typed out before the above):oh sorry i'm so late and not being part of the antics. im at school (for another couple weeks) so i don't work too much. feel free to hate me for that, but i have no job lined up for the summer, and that's not really better than working.Before an interleague game in Toronto against the Blue Jays, Mets first baseman Carlos Delgado refuses to stand to acknowledge the Canadian national anthem in protest of Canada's being boring.Tragedy strikes the St. Louis Cardinals when diminutive second baseman David Eckstein drowns in the dugout when two inches of water gathers during a rain delay.For a home game against the Rockies, the Giants honor reliever Merkin Valdez by giving away a free merkin to the first 20,000 fans over the age of 12.is it weird i know what a merkin is?ok high school story time. i have pretty much none because i never even got much interest lady-wise. to start high school i switched from enriched program to regular stream, so everyone knew me as an ex-gifty. plus i'm about 3 feet tall and high school was only 3 years for me since it starts one year late in my area and i finished a year early.so basically i sucked. through sheer luck, i didn't manage enough interest to screw them up.sad one:basically, my friend and I hung around with these 3 girls every weekend for awhile. one a real fat *****, one a cool good-looking stoner, and the other a quiet, but very cool quiet redhead with some guns. well my buddy is real outgoing, so generally him, the fat ***** and the stoner would be going a bit nutso, and i'd hang out with the redhead. cool redhead was also a big hockey fan, so we'd usually watch the Leafs. i should've known any girl willing to watch 6 hours of hockey without a complaint with me on saturday night was a keeper.well about two months of flirting take place, with some combination of me not knowing what to do, not knowing she's interested and having no balls.the capper - her name is Cara, and I call her Caramilk, which leads to most of the flirting. one night i bring over a caramilk bar, but when we go to eat it, its all melty. i remark its getting all over our hands. she says "but i bet it feels good to have Caramilk all over your hands, right?" then as i look for a clever remarks, starts licking the caramilk off my fingers...so i cleverly say "yeah" and get up and grab a dishcloth.that one is sad though, because after months of this flirting and near-misses, my idiocy is just getting too ridiculous that even i know. finally there's a party at my buddy's, and its obvious this is make-or-break. we hang out for a bit, but i'm scared shitless. finally, they mention leaving soon, and i don't even come upstairs to say bye or convince them to stay. 10 minutes later, her friend comes out and tells me Cara needs to talk to me. I go out and she's crying in the car because i wouldn't say goodbye. we supposedly made up, but it was never the same after. still feel bad about that one.funny one:around grade 9-10 my best friend and I hung out often hung out with a group that included my younger brother (one year younger) and a bunch of his friends (his age). after driving my brother and the other guys away with our older guy coolness, we basically ended up hanging out with about 6 girls, so had our pick. my buddy likes one girl, but too pussying to ask her out.one of the girls is a big sports fan and another is hilarious, so i have some good friends in the group. not really among those is a quiet blond girl. pretty good-looking though. so i give my friend my friend the ultimaturm, that i'll ask her out the next day if he doesn't ask his girl out that night. sure enough, he pussyings out, so in my one cool move of all-time, i actually follow through. i ask her out. so now we're going out.apparently, i was unaware that "going out" involved anything other than going over to one of their places, watching movies and the shitting we did every weekend before that. after two months of nothing interesting happening, i don't call her on her birthday, and she dumps me the next day.funny part is i see her a couple years later when she has a soccer game at my school. since that's the closest to sex i've gotten in high school, i stay after to watch it. she has filled out and is friggin gorgeous. she's got 5 inches on me now, but is tall, blond, athletic, with great boobs - a jessica simpson look, though obviously not quite as staggering. she's so happy i remember her, she stays to hang out with me even though her team leaves. i tell her my parents are gone for a week, and she tells me she's really sweaty after the game and needs a shower. i tell her my friend has a phone, and i'll grab it so she can call her mom to pick her up.WTF?finally, the dirtydutch one:around 16 or so, my buddy was "seeing" this whorebag of a girl. she was pretty cool, and me and her were good friends - basically me and her would hang out while my buddy played video games, then he'd bang her and i'd play video games. this was cool, because i was a pussbag and would've have known what to do with this girl.so one night we're going to sleep over at her house - i know she has two beds in her room, so we'll all be in there, so i tell her to bring a friend for me. she's told me about a hot friend of hers, so that's what i'm expecting. we get there and that friend was not available, so the girl for me is this tiny girl who looks about 9. supposedly 15, but not even through puberty. and not in a cute way, but with lots of baby fat. so we're going to bed, and the other two are obviously fooling around about 8 inches away. i'm not sure what to do, or even if i want to do anything, but she gets things started, in an awkward "sarah told me to do this first" way.so we're fooling around for what seems like hours (it was). she says she's experienced, but its obviously her first time also, but unbelievably, i seem to be doing a good job. so she's got off a few times, but when its my turn she's just gumming it up like she's eating a popsicle in a snowstorm. no friction at all. finally i just roll over to go finish myself off, and she tells me to grab a condom from Sarah.well even i could figure that one out, but i tell her Sarah is asleep (despite actually being able to hear slurping noises). i don't really feel bad about that one since i think she was 14 and obviously did not know what me getting a condom would really entail. still, would've been nice to SIIHP.:penis and brain not working together face:ok, i apologize for the longest post in friggin history. had to catch up, and i promise not to do it again. hopefully at least you all have some entertainment when you get to work tomorrow morning.

[Hobbes 1]

about the dodgers - izturis is great defensively, and took some time at 2B while with the jays. he would be a significant upgrade to anyone else on the dodgers. don't see why he wouldn't be willing to switch.

There's no question he would be an upgrade defensively over just about anyone in the league, but he's a terrible hitter and the Dodgers have Jeff Kent at 2nd, Rafael Furcal at SS, and Nomar at 1st, so there's no place for him. Except that Nomar got injured in the first game, so if Nomar were out when he got back, Izturis could play 2nd and Kent 1st.

sad one:the capper - her name is Cara, and I call her Caramilk, which leads to most of the flirting. one night i bring over a caramilk bar, but when we go to eat it, its all melty. i remark its getting all over our hands. she says "but i bet it feels good to have Caramilk all over your hands, right?" then as i look for a clever remarks, starts licking the caramilk off my fingers...so i cleverly say "yeah" and get up and grab a dishcloth.funny one:i tell her my parents are gone for a week, and she tells me she's really sweaty after the game and needs a shower. i tell her my friend has a phone, and i'll grab it so she can call her mom to pick her up.WTF?

Those are awesome.

[Demonde 0]

When I was 15 and a freshman in high school, I ended up dating and banging (repeatedly) my friend's SILF (18-year-old Senior at the school). I was really proud.But now we're pissed at each other for some reason, I'm not sure why. But I was the man for a while. She's hot.