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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I was in line at chipotle and the guy in front of me had a burger king cup. He was just followng around a lady as she ordered. I had my headphones in and I saw him whisper something to her as we inched towards checkout. So he leaves the line and goes and stands in front of the soda machine. Im watching him and he is looking at the chipotle employees to see if they will notice him if he goes for the unauthorized refill of the burger king cup. Im just watching him and he is watching them and then hes making the move and he sees me and he knows I know what hes doing. And he stops. He aborted the mission because I had my eyes on him. I felt proud., even though I dont care if he steals a gallon of soda.

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Yes he will. That guy gets it done in the boardroom (and the bedroom).

 

Objection your honor, hearsay!

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Objection! Incompetence!!

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Hey, SA. You know that old TV trope where someone gets in a wreck that's been drinking and someone's like quick, have a drink now "to calm your nerves" so they cant say for certain you were drinking at the time or not? How much legal standing would that defense actually have?

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I can't think of any particular movie or tv show but I know I've seen it a few times.

 

The one that comes to mind is the mans daughter is a cop or lawyer or something and her dad is an alcoholic and he crashes his car while drunk and he calls her and she sighs and is like, take a drink of this before the cops come and I'll have to say you had a drink to calm your nerves. I don't know.

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Okay I got it. I would assume it would not hold up. They would administer the sobriety test and argue that a drink to calm the nerves would not make you fail it. And if you refuse the breathelizer its a one year suspension of your license, in missouri anyways. But its not a dui, so if it ever happens to me im refusing the test to keep the dui off my record on a technicality.

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As for a legal, defense, it has no chance of being taken seriously in court. Your honor, my client only failed the breathelizer after taking a hit of jack daniels to calm his nerves after a sober car accident.

 

YEAH RIGHT BUDDY

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it worked for a friend of mine's grandfather. wrecked about a quarter mile from his house, walked home, called the cops, and started chugging liquor. guess since he had to walk home to call, it made more sense to start drinking.

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Shake nailed it. Hell, my cop buddy friend told me of people not pulling over when blue-lighted, driving all the way home, if close, then go into the house, lock the door, and when the cop knocks, wait a bit, then open the door which a bottle of booze in your hand. It's risky, but an option.

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Shake nailed it. Hell, my cop buddy friend told me of people not pulling over when blue-lighted, driving all the way home, if close, then go into the house, lock the door, and when the cop knocks, wait a bit, then open the door which a bottle of booze in your hand. It's risky, but an option.

 

You'll get tasered 90% of the time there before you can make it into the house.

 

I ever tell anyone about the guys I met in prison who were in there for DUI manslaughter?

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Immediate Supervisor gave notice. I got called into Big Boss' office today, oh ho Frau. Don't leave--we want you to stay. We're going to have a search for a new Immediate Supervisor--we're going to create new title for you. There's money. etc. Just tell us what you want.]

 

I want to be successful. I want to work with a peer. I want more money. Which parts do I compromise?

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Immediate Supervisor gave notice. I got called into Big Boss' office today, oh ho Frau. Don't leave--we want you to stay. We're going to have a search for a new Immediate Supervisor--we're going to create new title for you. There's money. etc. Just tell us what you want.]

 

I want to be successful. I want to work with a peer. I want more money. Which parts do I compromise?

 

well it's hard to quantify and make a business case for the first. that seems more internal and something you can only determine yourself so that I think is going to be dependent on the "role" their creating. do the duties sound like something that play to your strengths? would you feel like a success in that position? money: think about the minimum salary you think would satisfy you, then add 20% and ask for that. the illusion of compromise. or better yet, figure out your number but let them make the offer first. they say the first person to throw out a number during a negotiation is at the disadvantage. Working with a peer, I'm no help on as I generally find other people suck.

 

in terms of their promises, tell 'em to get an offer letter together but keep looking. you're in free agency so money talks and bullshit walks.

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