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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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J3f2nGA.jpg

 

 

Cowboys fans are the best.

 

No way I'd have the balls to sneak a kiss like that.

 

Also, you missed Ouch's hidden message.

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Man, what a great weekend. One of the kids who stayed the night was his first sleep over ever and he had never been camping. He is going to be ruined for all future sleep overs. After early AM pancake breakfast we swam for awhile then after all the parents cleared out and the other kids got picked up we decide to head to the mountains on a little adventure. Went out in the boonies drove up to a river with some really cool swimming holes, unfortunately there were some wild fires so we didn't really spend much time outside because the air was really smokey.

 

We all went to bed around 7-8 last night, we were beat tired. I got up and took the kids to school this morning and I was surprised by my wife in only a waist high apron, cooking bacon and eggs. She knew I did not have any early morning meetings. After some touchings, I took over the bacon and sauteing of the onions for safety reasons. I won't go into to many details,

but she sorta dry humped my whole nether regions with her tits. It was kinda awesome. Very soft, not like that horrible feeling you get from a dry handy.

I'lll let TG fill any details he so chooses, since he is an expert erotic novelist.

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may your child go on to be more inexplicably famous than the most famous Eli to date.

seriously though why does everyone know who invented the cotton gin?

Because Eli Whitney is a great name. A great name means a lot.

 

Edit: most people seem to want to know if he is named after Eli manning. Sigh. I tell them nope, Eli stone. Great show.

 

Totally thought of Eli Manning first.

 

 

a few days from now, Cha! Cha! is going to see my post up there with no likes, like it, and think to himself, "c'mon guys, pick up the slack here"

 

Ooh, I hope I liked the right one!

 

 

 

I do love fruits and veggies, it's amazing that I'm a tub. I guess my love of bread trumps all

 

Alcohol.

 

 

I was surprised by my wife in only a waist high apron, cooking bacon and eggs.

 

This will be good for your ranking.

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The booze didnt happen till after I was tubby, so how dunb do you feel now? Silly goose

 

 

Good for Ocho

 

We had drinks by the pool, got buzzed, had a solid, long session in the pool. Thank you booze and pool for allowing me to go for as long as I wanted.

Funy part was, I was sitting on the edge (she was in pool) of the pool, getting some mouth loving and some boob loving, as I go to finish (on the boobs, of course) I stand up on the step/bench in the water, I lose my balance and am cumming and falling on her while she's in the pool. Almost ruined my orgasm. Nearly drowned her.

 

That is a completely true story

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We had drinks by the pool, got buzzed, had a solid, long session in the pool. Thank you booze and pool for allowing me to go for as long as I wanted.

Funy part was, I was sitting on the edge (she was in pool) of the pool, getting some mouth loving and some boob loving, as I go to finish (on the boobs, of course) I stand up on the step/bench in the water, I lose my balance and am cumming and falling on her while she's in the pool. Almost ruined my orgasm. Nearly drowned her.

 

That is a completely true story

I can think of few things more terrifying than Ron's visual there

 

I'm dying here.

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I dont know. Seemed like the thing to do.

 

And my filters are cleaned and hosed on the regular. Chlorine levels are where they need to be to compensate for any extracurriculars

 

And if we only shared things that didnt horrify Strat, we'd discuss brats and beer

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I wouldn't want to be swimming around and have some sticky stuff attach itself to my arm hair. I guess I'm a prude.

 

 

I just shuddered thinking of what the water must be like at a swinger pool/spa party.

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Hey, my follies are meant to provide content and entertainment for the thread, at my own expense

 

Do regale us with tales of 2am gaming and really laying into some crappy gamer while drunk, Please please please

 

 

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I wouldn't want to be swimming around and have some sticky stuff attach itself to my arm hair. I guess I'm a prude.

 

 

I just shuddered thinking of what the water must be like at a swinger pool/spa party.

 

Have you ever actually swam in a chlorinated pool? Do you know how it works, or are you just a lakes, rivers and stream outdoors guy?

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Next time just stay seated and blast her in the neck and bottom of the chin.

 

Says the expert

 

 

And I know it was silly and horrifying, its why i typed it out

 

 

I accidentally types silky instead of silly. Remember that dude?

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Was just on the elevator with two Indian dudes and they smelled like rotten cabbage. It was not cool.

 

Concur

 

Is it the curry, lack of deodorant? Lack of showers or a combo, but they usually smell awful

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