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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Don't worry, Napa, I'm sure she'll cancel.

 

I like dis post so much I, how you say, want to procreate with it behind the schooling facility.

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Beans, he has the straight line on hookers. Hank would be a close second.

 

 

It was many moons ago that I actually indulged in pay-per-do females. High school in fact.

 

 

Im like that Jesus guy now...just hang around them

 

 

 

Would you try to bang ten hookers as quickly as you can for a million dollars? Would beans?

 

 

 

How about spinning six hookers on a merry go round and one of them has VD? Gotta have some gambling to it for me

 

 

 

 

 

You aren't able to use hookers, and you can't tell anyone about the contest or pay them with your winnings.

 

 

 

 

I dunno about the top three or four in here, but I make substantial wagers on the last few on the final tally...

 

 

 

 

Sally seems more down in the dumpsters of late. I have some of those things he ran out of. I may send them his way. Want them? Unopened of course

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Wait, you cant take one day off in May. You'll have worked there for four months already. 1/3 of the year. You get vacation, right? I'm guessing 2 weeks. Sick days?

 

Hell, even losers that work at banks get vacay, sick days and personal days.

 

Good to see Essay is true to his word and taking it slow. Planning dates 3 months in advance

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I have 160 hours of PTO to use this year or ill lose it all. But I'm already taking (hopefully, hasn't been approved yet) the previous Friday off so I can make my friends rehearsal for his wedding the next day and I don't want to ask for two Fridays off in a row.

 

I have no idea how the hell I'm going to use all these hours by the end of the year because they want 30 days advance for requests so they can do scheduling with clients. And everybody says may-July is pretty slow and there will be a lot of office time but I don't know how they are about just taking a random day or two off when you're in the office.

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Don't worry, Napa, I'm sure she'll cancel.

 

So good. Hey essay, did you do that Jackie Robinson/Joe Posnanski thing yet?

 

 

There is a game Friday and Sunday but I'd have to take a day off Friday and that's not going to happen and Sunday wouldn't leave time for shenanigans afterwards.

 

Just fucking do it for fuck's sake.

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This bird has been on my roof for about an hour now. I dont want to chase him off because that seems petty. But if he drops his white mud all over, i wont be happy.

 

4791EBAE-C6BE-4D98-8475-F502934C584F-6120-000004ADD1C735F0_zps2efbdaa6.jpg

 

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I think we shoud change the name of this thread to the excuses thread.

 

Short for: Bunch of Sorry Excuses for Men?

 

You know how many times I've gone to work with less than three hours sleep and still a little drunk? I mean, it would be weird for you to know that, but it's a lot. Get through the day and go to bed early.

 

Although maybe Napa just doesn't really want to hang out with Essay and we're ruining his excuse.

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I do indeed.

 

At least it's more accepted than my last color obsession. Pink. I have had 2 pink phone covers, 3 or 4 pink ties, 5 or so pink shirts, a pink ipod, pink headphones and actively shopped for pink sneakers, but never found any

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Other than living 4 hours north of Miami in Orlando, I agree.

 

Even when I lived in Palm Beach, it was still an hour north of Miami.

 

Cmon Ocho, know your Florida. We're the country's penis

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