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I Called In Sick Today


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i think it has to do with the acceptable margins of the good face/bad body women's body. i'd need to see a photo of the women to truly decide. cause i am imagining a plus sized model. but not too plus sized mind you. just a little plus sized.
I found a great example of the pretty face/meh body but sadly the hosting site I use is having issues with downloading photo's.
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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That's pretty awesome. Did you try the spicy stuff from India and China?
Yesterday they just had some items from Canada, Europe and Latin America
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Guys, this is why Chrissy Teigen is the best:christine teigen ‏ @chrissyteigenJust told my waitress that the soda was flat in my double vodka soda. She told me it was a water. Vodka soda in different glass. I'm a drunk
My wife and I went out for dinner one night a few years ago and, as usual, I ordered a Manhattan to start off with. This is not a difficult drink to make, but I've gotten some shockers served to me in the past. Anyways, this Manhattan was really damn tasty, and I mentioned this to the server. He replied that he wasn't surprised as the bartender had recently won the Giffard International Cocktail Competition (link).Anyways, I really didn't feel like drinking wine with dinner, so I told him to have the bartender make me a cocktail for each of my courses. I told him to be imaginative, and to please not simply pick something off the drinks menu.I had a butternut squash soup to start, and was served a bitter Campari, Orange Juice, and Soda cocktail. My first impression was not super favourable, but once I had it with my soup, I was impressed. It really cut the creaminess of the soup nicely and was an excellent choice. I passed on my happiness to the server and waited for my steak.My steak was served with a Bourbon Sour with a Shiraz Float. I was, in a word, apprehensive. A rocks glass with what looked like 1/2 an inch of lemonade on the bottom, topped with ice, and then layered with red wine, with a full cut-up and muddled lemon's worth of pieces floating around. I took a sip from the top and from the bottom to see what I was getting into, then gave it a stir and dug into my steak.This drink was un-fucking-believably good.Like, REALLY good.I told the server it was great and he passed on that the drink was apparently Chris's latest concoction, and he was testing it out on me. I told him that he'd better get ready to sell a TON of them. Later I went to the bar to ask if he would pass on the recipe to me (he wouldn't, unsurprisingly), to pass on my congratulations (gracefully accepted with a two handed wrap handshake - wife commented that Chris is SO clearly into the boys), and to say thanks for the great pairings. The bill came later, and I was even happier when I saw I had drunk for free last night (yep, likes the boys).Anyways, I wish I could share the recipe with you, but no dice. But if you're in Vancouver, I highly recommend going to Beyond in the Century Plaza hotel and asking the bartender to make you a drink. About a year later, I went out with a buddy of mine. We met up in the hotel bar where he was staying and had a few drinks, then tried to decide where to go for dinner. It was only after a few suggestions that I remembered the story above, and I asked our bartender where the Century Plaza was. She asked if I was serious, then pointed out the window; turns out it was just across the street. Perfect!We wandered across the way and found that Chris was indeed working. We sat down, I recounted the story, and asked him to start making us drinks. He made a bunch but the only one I really remember (I was pretty drunk by this point) was a mojito. I don't like mojitos. This was a great mojito!I lied, though. I do remember one other drink. At one point I gestured to Chris and a few moments later a glass was placed in front of me. I took a testing sip, then a bigger gulp. I looked up at Chris and remarked,"You know I'm a fan of your drinks, but if I'm being honest, this one is pretty bland..."He looked at me, sighed, and replied "That one is water, Jon. I think you've had enough.""Fuck! Pay the man, Steve!" And we left to go to the poker room.
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hahahahahaedit: I really enjoyed the story though. I'm drinking a nice gin and tonic with a little tom collins mix in for kick.

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nah I was just pissed that mine and dj's posts were so similar because, you know, fuck that guy right?so do you have a job now? you may have mentioned this I don't know.

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I see that it's a funny pug dog sad face but I don't see it. I really hope I can sleep tonight. I feel like shit.

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Speedz...the dog probably just ate like half a tennis ball. I'm pretty sure it's not a big deal that she did but just thought I'd check. She is acting normal and everything and it was like two hours ago.

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going to vegas this summer to celebrate the first anniversary of my 39th birthday. realized that the ufc is going to have an event with a pretty stellar card so i'm thinking about going but i don't have anyone to go with. usually i don't mind doing vegas by myself at all, but times like this i see there is sometimes a downside to being a misanthropic hermit. screw it, maybe i'll just get an escort.

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