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I Called In Sick Today


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Your friends don't like you very much. Hopefully you got them a $500 gift card so that they feel guilty.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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It was just a joke about SA liking shitty fast food. The joke was lazily slapped together, so I thought it would be funnier to just convert it to that. Something along the lines of, "does that mean there's no blimpy in the food court?"

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I feel like Hank could have warned me that the horseshoe was way out there and cabs would be scarce. I got super lucky and hitched a ride with an old black lady and her set can. Problem is she lives in the fvckin ghetto and we dropped her off and I was legit worried about getting shot.

 

maps.google.com. even easier than uber...

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Frankly, for going to CHICAGO and thinking your best option for entertainment was to grind a poker game, well, you pretty much deserve everything you got.

 

I honestly posted that to be facetious but, I think deep down, I knew what you were going to do even before you did. Soul read.

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Short work week for me. Fly to San Diego tomorrow.

 

Still time to make it to the wedding on Saturday, Frau. The groom tells me there's been a lot of last minute cancellations so they have the meals to go around.

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I would hardly call "jokingly (???) pestering an Internet BFF to be a wedding date" spunk. I don't want to date a coworker anyways.

 

I'm too ugly for tinder, too awkward to meet someone in real life, and too lazy and uninteresting for online dating.

 

I've come to peace to with this.

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Hard pass on the ocean. Overrated.

 

 

Seven of us got a house that's a block from the beach. And then a few of us are doing some kayak tour on Friday. There was talks of a beach bonfire Friday night before bars but not sure if that's still in play or not.

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