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turd ferguson

By turd ferguson,
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Ouch-8s

Ouch-8s 4

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So just had a tenant come in and give me something he wrote. He tells me it is proof that god exists. Scientific proof to be more accurate. I hate this place.
Is it written on a banana peel?
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RhinestoneCowboy

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Because Michigan was rated higher than they should have been to begin with? Stanford is a real team? USC is still better than Michigan? Michigan was favored by 29 or 31 or something this weekend against EMU and still looked like a high school team? I don't why.
I may be in the minority here, but I believe App St. would give Stanford a run for their money...The loss saturday is a bigger upset, ESPECIALLY because Michigan is not the team that USC is this year.
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SBriand

SBriand 4

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I may be in the minority here, but I believe App St. would give Stanford a run for their money...The loss saturday is a bigger upset, ESPECIALLY because Michigan is not the team that USC is this year.
I was just basically trying to rub it in a little is all. I don't even watch college football.
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SBriand

SBriand 4

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Is it written on a banana peel?
Just a little taste...
I was impress[ed] with "The Science of Addiction" Handout I received on Sept 16, 2007 from a staff member at the Oakdale Recovery Center in Canton, MI. It was an immense help to me in putting together this "Thesis" regarding the redemption of my body, mind and soul from the grownups world's truths of convinces. I have been trying to escape my forced addiction with the hand-me-down sinful thinking ways of others since the day I was born (Nov 10, 1931). So, I consider this "thesis" also an an introduction to my Pathfinder's (PATH2ID.com) websites overall theme)
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silkyjonson

silkyjonson 1

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Just a little taste...
I was impress[ed] with "The Science of Addiction" Handout I received on Sept 16, 2007 from a staff member at the Oakdale Recovery Center in Canton, MI. It was an immense help to me in putting together this "Thesis" regarding the redemption of my body, mind and soul from the grownups world's truths of convinces. I have been trying to escape my forced addiction with the hand-me-down sinful thinking ways of others since the day I was born (Nov 10, 1931). So, I consider this "thesis" also an an introduction to my Pathfinder's (PATH2ID.com) websites overall theme)
You should have taken his "thesis" crumpled it up and swallowed it stating "I'm your god now bitch"
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Tactical Bear

Tactical Bear 3

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It started off slightly strange right from the beginning. I rolled in wearing cargo shorts (back off, mrb) and a polo shirt…nice enough for the restaurant, not so nice that I looked like I was trying to impress. She was wearing what I can only describe as an evening dress. I think my high school girlfriend wore the same thing to our junior prom. She wasn’t especially made up, didn’t have on outlandish jewelry…basically she looked completely normal except for the fact that her dress would have been more appropriate during cocktail hour at the local country club.As soon as she opened her mouth I knew I was in more trouble than I had bargained for (I will be ‘M’, she will be ‘G’):G: Hey MattM: Hey Gremlin.G: Do you mind if a friend of mine joins us? She just started dating this guy, so…M: (confused stare lasting at least three seconds before she continued)G: …so we figured it would be fun to all have dinner together.M: No problem.It was a problem. Now not only did I have to deal with my mentally unstable friend, I had to meet new people and be friendly without making it seem like I was at all interested in Gremlin or being friends with them beyond the one meal.M: So are they sitting already?G: No, they’ll be here in about a half hour. Is that ok?M: No problem.Again, it was a problem. I hadn’t eaten since having a lean cuisine at 11:30am. I was starving and getting more and more agitated by the second. We passed the time by making small talk until she mentioned something about looking for a new job. This was my chance, since I knew that one of her problems when manic was that she had way too many jobs and activities to keep track of.M: So, looking for more jobs, huh?G: Yeah. I’ve been getting more manic lately. I have two jobs again, I’m volunteering, I got back into roller derby…M: (chokes on sip of water) What now?G: I told you about my roller derby. I’m on a team.M: Yeah, you might have. Go on...G: I don’t know, I just feel really manic. I can’t stop shopping and my heart always feels like it’s beating really fast. Like right now it’s going a mile a minute for no reason. I think it’s why I can’t pay attention in class, either. Sorry I’ve been texting you so much, but I can’t pay attention to the professor and I can usually see you sitting there…M: Where do you sit?G: Usually towards the back behind you.(I sit in a different place every day in a lecture hall that fits 500. Either this is a lie or she spends a few minutes every day scanning for my seat and sitting where she can watch me)M: Uh…so…what’s up with the other part of it? The schizophrenia.G: Uh, it’s pretty good. The meds are keeping it under control.M: (pauses for quick internal argument about whether or not to lie to you all and say she still hears voices) Nice.So then the friend shows up with her date. The girl was about 25, Native American, and absolutely gorgeous. She looked like the Disney version of Pocahontas. Her date was a 5’4” 30 year old Asian with trendy glasses and the gayest inflection in his speaking voice that I’ve ever heard. If this guy wasn’t daydreaming about cock during dinner, then I am Mickey Mouse.There’s really not much left to tell. Just picture me, the Gremlin in her evening gown, a Native American princess, and Mr. Sulu sitting down to a nice meal. At the end they went out to meet some other friends and I politely declined to join them.*bonus points to whoever caught the Mickey Mouse reference
Well done, all around. I bolded whatever portions I found particularly appealing. I especially like the reference to Mr. Sulu, and the character-break at the end of the last dialog where you ponder whether or not to lie to us. Also, the evening gown is hilarious. In my coming narration of the Ongoing Saga of Jess (which really isn't all that entertaining, by the way), there is also some disconnect between our respective levels of dress. In my case, however, it was semi-intentional and mean-spirited. Gremlin, Pocahontas, Mr. Sulu, and Dr. Katz's Son from the Squiggle Vision show that used to be on Comedy Central. That's how I now think of you. Dr. Katz's Son.Wa-Dammit.
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strategy

strategy 4

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Ron Paul will never get the nomination. Not as a Republican anyway, and if that happens he will run Libertarian and then he will get about 10-14% of the vote in the election and that is that. The guy wants to go back to the gold standard. One he would never make that happen and two, dumb. But I guess he wants to help the online gamers so he has that group on his side. The Republican party will do their illegal mumbo jumbo if he looks to be in the lead come primaries. They are not big fans.I agree with the raising of taxes though. Right now I am with Biden. He won't win either but I like him and his ideas for the most part.
Yeah, I hate paul's economic policy... same as most libertarians. I haven't looked at biden at all.
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JoeyJoJo

JoeyJoJo 18

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Yeah, I hate paul's economic policy... same as most libertarians. I haven't looked at biden at all.
I'm pretending you guys are talking about RuPaul and Bin Laden. It's more entertaining to me that way.
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speedz99

speedz99 145

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Gremlin, Pocahontas, Mr. Sulu, and Dr. Katz's Son from the Squiggle Vision show that used to be on Comedy Central. That's how I now think of you. Dr. Katz's Son.
I can live with that.
Can anyone provide me with a good reason Sabathia isn't starting tonight?
Not a good reason, no. I guess they want to win 1 more game, and they think they have their best shot of that with him at full strength at home. Obviously the standard thing would be to give yourself 2 good shots to win.
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beans fan

beans fan 0

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in fifth grade the teacher asked us to write down what we wanted to do when we grew up.my mom just called an reminded me that i wanted to be the guy who drove the stairs around at the airport.ineed to get on ebay and try and find one of those things.me and beans could put tags on it and drive it around town.id would be the best seat in the drive inn for sure.

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runthemover

runthemover 39

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in fifth grade the teacher asked us to write down what we wanted to do when we grew up.my mom just called an reminded me that i wanted to be the guy who drove the stairs around at the airport.ineed to get on ebay and try and find one of those things.me and beans could put tags on it and drive it around town.id would be the best seat in the drive inn for sure.
you'd have to watch out for hopons though
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speedz99

speedz99 145

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in fifth grade the teacher asked us to write down what we wanted to do when we grew up.my mom just called an reminded me that i wanted to be the guy who drove the stairs around at the airport.ineed to get on ebay and try and find one of those things.me and beans could put tags on it and drive it around town.id would be the best seat in the drive inn for sure.
Watch out for hop-ons.edit: dammit
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CardWarfare

CardWarfare 4

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This didn't come out as good as I had hoped, since for some reason you can't add color to already black and white pictures in MS Paint. Either way, here it is. kodiakbearuz8.gif

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Ouch-8s

Ouch-8s 4

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This didn't come out as good as I had hoped, since for some reason you can't add color to already black and white pictures in MS Paint. Either way, here it is. kodiakbearuz8.gif
Pretty awesome
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KDawgCometh

KDawgCometh 2

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so mad at kdawg right now for the suspense he built up.
sorry, I was asleep. FWP is gone baby gone, and yes, it is for good this time. BOb had enough
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