Fame, Fortune, And Paparazzi

[Buckeye Hughes 0]

Let's start the pool on who's jopke account this is.

[Galactic Ray Jetworn 0]

now write me one for indefinite articles. possibly a law drama.

Lawyer: "Objection!"Judge: "On what grounds?"Lawyer: "A case of Brown v. U.S. would set precedence."Judge: "A case like that might set precedence, but we deal with specific cases in this court room."Lawyer (to his assistant): "Go to an office and get a book about patents."Assistant (returning with eight different books about patents): "You weren't clear about which book!"

[Galactic Ray Jetworn 0]

The buzz around the country is palpable! People need more Dangling Modifiers!Thank you, FCP, for showing such restraint in your excitement. I worried that the anticipation might prove too much resulting in calamitous catastrophes. You might think that’s redundant, but no, I assure you the danger is very real. Since you have proven yourselves capable of such exhilaration, I will now share with you a scene from the Dangling Modifiers movie.The scene opens in a darkened, misty alley. The only illumination is from streetlights at the ends of the alley. Two men in overcoats enter the alleyway simultaneously from opposite ends, and meet in the middle. They're both wearing fedoras, looking like typical gangster caricatures.Gangster 1: "Mr. Spinoza."Gangster 2: (tips cap) "Mr. Fratelli."Fratelli: "Any news?"Spinoza: "None. Let's make this quick. Having eaten an early dinner, my couch and television are waiting for me at home."Fratelli: "You're... feeding your television? Dammit Spinoza!"Spinoza: "I'm doing no such thing. I'm simply mentioning that after eating a wonderful meal prepared by my wife, my television is waiting for me to unwind, on ESPN."Fratelli: "Your wife is feeding your television? And what are you doing on ESPN, Spinoza? I thought I emphasized the need for DISCRETION in this matter? DAMMIT SPINOZA!"Spinoza: "...."Fratelli: "Well, at least answer me this: were you followed?"Spinoza: "Upon leaving my house and walking 4 blocks, our... mutual enemies... were nowhere to be found."Fratelli: "Good Lord, Spinoza. The Dangling Modifiers!"Spinoza: "More grammar lessons, Fratelli? Having tired of your ceaseless chatter, our enemies are not here. Be assured."Fratelli: "No, Spinoza. Tell me: What were the Dangling Modifiers doing in your home? I fear the confusion and havoc they wreak when we meet in public, but are the Modifiers Dangling in your home, as well? How do they know ANYTHING of my chatter? Answer me Spinoza, and be very, very careful how you respond."Spinoza: "While considering your words and thinly veiled threats, law enforcement is nowhere nearby."Fratelli: "Spinoza, you rat! Now you tell me the Fuzz is listening in? Someone's wearing a WIRE?! YOU?!"Spinoza: "A wire? Given this new information, our enemies are sure to capitalize."Fratelli: (unholsters his gun in a rage, cocks the hammer, and holds it to Spinoza's forehead) "And you're handing it over to our enemies, you traitor? Give me one reason I shouldn't blow your brains out here and now!"Spinoza: (eyes bulging, sweat dripping down his forehead, jaw set with determination) (speaks slowly, and with obvious difficulty and effort) "Considering our current situation, the Dangling Modifiers must be-"(Fratelli, in a rage, pulls the trigger. Spinoza slumps to the ground. Fratelli wipes the prints from his gun, drops it, and quickly leaves the scene of the crime.)(Moments later, two men drop from the light posts at opposite ends of the alley, and converge over Spinoza's motionless corpse)Dangling Modifier: "Having finished our day's work, a delicious sea bass is our reward."Dangling Modifier 2: "Plump, juicy, and tasting less fishy than most, our wives will surely be glad to see us."

[speedz99 145]

Unless Fratelli is secretly a member of the Dangling Modifiers, I don't get it.Wait...spoiler alert?

[ShakeZuma 585]

Lawyer: "Objection!"Judge: "On what grounds?"Lawyer: "A case of Brown v. U.S. would set precedence."Judge: "A case like that might set precedence, but we deal with specific cases in this court room."Lawyer (to his assistant): "Go to an office and get a book about patents."Assistant (returning with eight different books about patents): "You weren't clear about which book!"

hahahaha, that is so bad it is awesome

Dangling Modifier 2: "Plump, juicy, and tasting less fishy than most, our wives will surely be glad to see us."

and this is awesome as well. I really like this account.although it should be mentioned that I cannot read your name as anything but "Galactic Ray JeWTron"works out better that way anyways, I think

[Galactic Ray Jetworn 0]

Unless Fratelli is secretly a member of the Dangling Modifiers, I don't get it.Wait...spoiler alert?

Please try to keep up. You see, the Dangling Modifiers can modify people's thoughts (but only while dangling). By controlling Spinoza's mind, they have wreaked havoc on the gangsters' conversation, turning them against each other.Confusion is their weapon!

[speedz99 145]

Please try to keep up.

Dammit.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Dangling Modifier: "Having finished our day's work, a delicious sea bass is our reward."Dangling Modifier 2: "Plump, juicy, and tasting less fishy than most, our wives will surely be glad to see us."

Hilarious. Now that is how you end a scene.

[GWCGWC 83]

How long will it take for a spin-off, squinting modifiers?

[Balloon guy 158]

I'm on to you Ray,These ideas are just stolen from the classic Illogical Verb Tense Shifty gang of the 40's.They used to really tear up the screen in the way they shown down people's motives and dreams. I still remember fondly the way they use to found the clues that solving the crime at the end of each episode. Man I am going to go and bought those old dvds tonight after I got home.

[Jadaki 0]

Blues Clues!

[RodReynolds 87]

Thanks for the laughs RodReynolds.

I barely even know what a dangling modifier is. This was done by somebody more talented than I.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

I barely even know what a dangling modifier is. This was done by somebody more talented than I.

Yeah, okay. I believe that about as far as I can throw it.Wait, what does that expression mean, again? How can I "throw" the concept of you saying that the above isn't your joke account. You can't throw concepts. It's like trying to act an operator on real three space on vectors of a DIFFERENT SPACE. Such craziness make no MATHEMATICAL SENSE. It would be like trying to add a banana to purple. This, quite simply, CAN'T BE DONE.What was my point, again? Oh, right. Maybe your denying that this is your joke account in itself is a joke, since this account is so flagrantly you it hurts me emotionally.And COMMUTATOR ZERO was better, but only slightly.

[runthemover 39]

I forgot to open my Mr. Zimmerline account before opening this.

Don't patronize us. You didn't forget. You did it on purpose to serve as a secondary joke to the whole "throw" thing.

[GWCGWC 83]

Wang pretty much rules, but Rod's got the goods.Arg, The Modifiers are in me BRAIN.

[Vinnie_Terranova 5]

Don't patronize us. You didn't forget. You did it on purpose to serve as a secondary joke to the whole "throw" thing.

All I know, is that without LLY, this place would really be hurting for orignial material.

[loogie 115]

All I know, is that without LLY, this place would really be hurting for orignial material.

[Vinnie_Terranova 5]

All I know, is that without LLY, this place would really be hurting for orignial material.

Oh very well played sir.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Wang pretty much rules, but Rod's got the goods.

Thank you. I feel calling you a faggot here would be TOO appropriate...Whoever comes up with these ideas -- punnily named superheroes wreak having by disabling their foes' ability to follow a single grammatical rule -- is... I don't even know what word I'm looking for. All I know is that I can easily see the idea being the best SNL skit ever. How could it be less successful than the Coneheads? The writing could use work, but the idea has legs. The idea has fucking meathocks, man.

[runthemover 39]

well I guess we know what Off-Topic will be doing for the performance portion of the FCP Convention.

[RodReynolds 87]

Yeah, okay. I believe that about as far as I can throw it.Wait, what does that expression mean, again? How can I "throw" the concept of you saying that the above isn't your joke account. You can't throw concepts. It's like trying to act an operator on real three space on vectors of a DIFFERENT SPACE. Such craziness make no MATHEMATICAL SENSE. It would be like trying to add a banana to purple. This, quite simply, CAN'T BE DONE.What was my point, again? Oh, right. Maybe your denying that this is your joke account in itself is a joke, since this account is so flagrantly you it hurts me emotionally.And COMMUTATOR ZERO was better, but only slightly.

It's not clear to me if we're the same person or not, but if we're not I have something important to say, and so let me speak it in a language you can understand. Galactic Ray Jetworn is not a member of the RR equivalence class, please believe me. There are only THREE KNOWN MEMBERS of that class, maybe four IF YOU COUNT YOURSELF. It vexes me greatly that apparently I CAN NO LONGER BE TRUSTED. Watch, I'm going to try to come up with a funny dangling modifier. 5 minutes later...I have failed! Case closed.

[speedz99 145]

How could it be less successful than the Coneheads?

Let's see, which would the American public enjoy more...a sketch with aliens chugging 6 packs of beer or a sketch that requires working knowledge of proper grammar to understand?

[LongLiveYorke 38]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Exceptiona...y_of_EverythingThis is what I think of you:

[runthemover 39]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Exceptiona...y_of_EverythingThis is what I think of you:

you sure know how to make a boy blush

[finztotheleft 0]

A true Hollywood writer would be boycotting all forms of writing to honor the strike

Are you (gasp) supporting a UNIOOONN ?????