Favorite Movie Monologues

[Don Giovanni 0]

ron mexico is right. and those ben affleck lines from boiler room are just trying to be like glengarry glen ross.

[CJHunt 0]

ron mexico is right. and those ben affleck lines from boiler room are just trying to be like glengarry glen ross.

Some of then are direct quotes if I remember correctly. I don't think they were trying to hide their inspiration. I just like the delivery better in Boiler Room. Maybe I'm too young to have fully enjoyed Glengarry?

[hank213 1,823]

Now remember, things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight - wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, big league ball players, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost and never will lose a war, because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans...I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk? (Harry picks up the gun) Bank robber: "Hey, I gots to know." (He pulls the trigger toward the bank robber's head, but it clicks empty. Harry chuckles))Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!...What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? 'Ooh, we're afraid to go with you, Bluto, we might get in trouble.' Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...Well, I'm gonna go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff and I don't need you. I don't need anything -- except this, this ash tray, and that's the only thing I need is this! I don't need nothin' but this - just this ash tray, and this paddle game. The ash tray and the paddle game - and that's all I need, and this - the remote control. The ash tray, the paddle game and the remote control, that's all I need. And these matches. The ash tray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball. And this lamp. That's right. This paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too! I don't need one other thing. Not one - I need this - the paddle game and the chair and the remote control and the matches, for sure. Well, what are you looking at? What do you think I am, some kind of a jerk or something? And this. That's all I need. The ash tray, the remote control, and this paddle game, and this magazine and the chair...I don't need one other thing, except my dog (The dog growls at him) I don't need my dog.Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not, for my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my Mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch, I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.Obvious: Excuse me, is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face; Meteorological: Everybody take cover, she's going to blow!; Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like Wyoming; Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us; Punctual: All right Dellman, your nose was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late; Envious: Ooh, I wish I were you, to be able to smell your own ear; Naughty: Pardon me sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away...Sympathetic: Ooh, what happened, did your parents lose a bet with God?; Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on; Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?..."), before finishing with the hostile, taunting "Dirty: Say, your name wouldn't be - dick, would it?"The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed - for lack of a better word - is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms - greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind.

[GeneralGeeWhiz 0]

"Don't just stare at it, eat it!"

[Vandees 0]

For those of you who haven't seen Glengary Glen Ross, rent it and watch it. The Baldwin scene and the Pacino scene where he rips on Spacey are classics. Boiler Room is a poor man's Glengary.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

For those of you who haven't seen Glengary Glen Ross, rent it and watch it. The Baldwin scene and the Pacino scene where he rips on Spacey are classics. Boiler Room is a poor man's Glengary.

real poor.What's your name pal?FUCK YOU, THAT'S MY NAMEawww adam, too sweet. It has been a while since someone brought that up. Full Tilt transfer made.

[CobaltBlue 662]

Mike: Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something, T. Are you listening? Trent: Yeah, I'm listening. Mike: I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. Alright? It just makes me sick. It's like, some nasty skank who isn't half the woman my girlfriend is, is gonna front me? It makes me want to ****in' puke!

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested but I'm not really interested, or should I play like I'm interested, but I'm not that interested, but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested, but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like, well goodnight. You do like that ***-out hug where you like, you hug each other like this and your *** sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close. Do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering, are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

[mikeysong 0]

Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested but I'm not really interested, or should I play like I'm interested, but I'm not that interested, but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested, but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like, well goodnight. You do like that ***-out hug where you like, you hug each other like this and your *** sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close. Do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering, are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

what's that from?...And justice for all (al pacino): Arthur Kirkland: The one thing that bothered me, the one thing that stayed in my mind and I couldn't get rid of it, that haunted me, was why. Why would she lie? What was her motive for lying? If my client is innocent, she's lying, why? Was it blackmail? No. Was it jealousy? No. Yesterday I found out why. She doesn't have a motive, you know why? Because she's not lying... And ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution is not going to get that man today, no, because I'm gonna get him! my client, the Honorable Henry T. Fleming, should go right to f***ing jail! The son of a ***** is guilty! Arthur Kirkland: That man is guilty! that man, there, that man is a slime! he is a *slime*! If he's allowed to go free, then something really wrong is goin' on here! Judge Rayford: Mr. Kirkland you are out of order! Arthur Kirkland: You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he'd like to do it again! It's just a show! It's a show! It's "Let's Make A Deal"! "Let's Make A Deal"! Hey Frank, you wanna "Make A Deal"? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the **** out of women! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, 3 weeks probation? Frank Bowers: DAMMIT! Arthur Kirkland: [to Judge Fleming] You, you sonofabitch, you! You're supposed to STAND for somethin'! You're supposed to protect people! But instead you rape and murder them! [dragged out of court by bailiffs] Arthur Kirkland: You killed McCullough! You killed him! Hold it! Hold it! I just completed my opening statement! btw, not everything posted here is a monologue...including the last part of what I quoted

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

what's that from?

Wedding Crashers.

[Dan The Man 0]

While we're on Vince Vaughn, my favorite part from Made..."Here's scenario B for you Bob, see how you feel about this one. Now I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I think I'm starting to get under Ruiz's skin as well, OK? It all started with the whole Red Dragon, or the Welsh guy, whatever, they can play it down all they want but you know 200 grand's a lot of ****ing money! It's a ****ing lot of money! OK? 200 grand is definitely a lot of ****ing money! And now I've got Ruiz calling me ****ing Fruit-Pie the ****ing magician! Tellin' me that I can't ****ing call my main man Max, who ****ing sent me out on the ****ing operation? And what about the Welsh guy? He's ****ing scat all over, they ****ing disappear and talk! And you haven't noticed this either but when he's not ****ing looking at me or you're ****ing doing whatever, I've got ****ing Jimmy in the mirror with his **** too. It's ****ing coming at me from here, I don't know where it is! It might be coming this way, it might be coming that way, but the ****ing ****'s coming and I'm not gonna be late for the ****ing dance man, I'm not gonna be ****ing late for the dance on this one."

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

While we're on Vince Vaughn, my favorite part from Made..."Here's scenario B for you Bob, see how you feel about this one. Now I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I think I'm starting to get under Ruiz's skin as well, OK? It all started with the whole Red Dragon, or the Welsh guy, whatever, they can play it down all they want but you know 200 grand's a lot of ****ing money! It's a ****ing lot of money! OK? 200 grand is definitely a lot of ****ing money! And now I've got Ruiz calling me ****ing Fruit-Pie the ****ing magician! Tellin' me that I can't ****ing call my main man Max, who ****ing sent me out on the ****ing operation? And what about the Welsh guy? He's ****ing scat all over, they ****ing disappear and talk! And you haven't noticed this either but when he's not ****ing looking at me or you're ****ing doing whatever, I've got ****ing Jimmy in the mirror with his **** too. It's ****ing coming at me from here, I don't know where it is! It might be coming this way, it might be coming that way, but the ****ing ****'s coming and I'm not gonna be late for the ****ing dance man, I'm not gonna be ****ing late for the dance on this one."

Made is a great movie. The part on the plane is one of my all-time favorite scenes.

[bdc30 0]

"My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."

Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me. Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement. Neal: I threw it away. Car Rental Agent: Oh boy. Neal: Oh boy what? Car Rental Agent: You're fucked!

[tskillz187 0]

Sergeant Hulka: Okay, Mr. Push-ups, let's hear your story. John Winger: Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination. [points to the soldier next to him] John Winger: Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka is always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe... Sergeant Hulka. [the soldiers start clapping] Sergeant Hulka: Well, okay, hotshot. We're gonna see what kind of soldier you are. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Psycho: The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you. Leon: Ooooooh. Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you. Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis. Man I love Stripes.

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

Some of you don't know what monologues are.

[tskillz187 0]

Some of you don't know what monologues are.

Heh, once I started reading the thread I forgot the title, oh well. Stripes stays.

[Untilted 158]

I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state. Do they let you do that? I miss the peace of fishing like when I was a boy. Forty years I've been at sea. A war at sea. A war with no battles, no monuments... only casualties. I widowed her the day I married her. My wife died while I was at sea, you know.

[CobaltBlue 662]

This was a fun thread.

[digitalmonkey 929]

"I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250... not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball."

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Now, I want you to remember, that no bastard ever won a war, by dying for his country. He won it, by making the other poor dumb bastard die for HIS country. Men, all this stuff you've heard about america not wanting to fight, wanting to say out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the faster runner, the big league ball players, the toughest boxer. Americans love a winner, and will NOT tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost, and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans. Now, an army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday evening post don't know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating. Now we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, the best men in the world. You know, by Gad, I actually pity those poor bastards we're going up against. By God, I do. We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to cut out their living guts, and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel. Now, some of you bows I know are wondering, whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't Worry about it. I can assure you, that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the ememy. Wade in them! Spill their blood! Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand, into a bunch of goo, that a moment before was your best friends face, you'll know what to do. There's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying we are "holding our position". We are not holding anything! Let the Hun d that. We're advancing constantly. We're not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and kick him in ths ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time, and we're going to go through him like crap through a goose! Now, there's one thing, that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now, when you're sitting aroudn the fireside, with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you: "what did you do in the great World War II?" You won't have to say " Well, I shovelled shit in Louisiana." All right, now, you sons of bitches, you know how I feel. I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle anytime, anywhere. That's all.

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.A good collection here.

[Mercury69 3]

Wilson: How you doin' then? All right, are you? Now look, squire, you're the guv'nor here, I can see that. I'm in your manor now. So there's no need to get your knickers in a twist. Whatever this bollocks is that's going down between you and that slag Valentine, it's got nothing to do with me. I couldn't care less. Alright, mate? Let me explain. When I was in prison -- second time -- uh, no, telling a lie, third stretch, yeah, third, third -- there was this screw what really had it in for me, and that geezer was top of my list. Two years after I got sprung, I sees him in Arnold Park. He's sittin' on a bench feedin' bloody pigeons. There was no-one about, I could've gone up behind him and snapped his ****in' neck, WALLOP! But I left it. I could've knobbled him, but I didn't. 'Cause what I thought I wanted wasn't what I wanted. What I thought I was thinkin' about was something else. I didn't give a toss. It didn't matter, see? This berk on the bench wasn't worth my time. It meant sod-all in the end, 'cause you gotta make a choice: when to do something, and when to let it go. When it matters, and when it don't. Bide your time. That's what prison teaches you, if nothing else. Bide your time, and everything becomes clear, and you can act accordingly.Head Drug Enforcement Administration Agent (Bill Duke): There's just one thing I don't understand. And that one thing is every ****ing word that's coming out of your mouth.

[Mercury69 3]

Lester (voiceover): My name is Lester Burnham. This is my street. This is my neighborhood. This is my life. I am 42 years old. In less than a year, I will be dead. Of course, I don't know that yet, and in a way, I'm dead already. Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the highlight of my day. It's all downhill from here. That's my wife Carolyn. See the way the handle on those pruning shears match her gardening clogs? That's not an accident. That's our neighbor, Jim, and that's his lover, Jim. Man, I get exhausted just watching her. She wasn't always like this. She used to be happy. We used to be happy. My daughter, Jane. Only child. Janie's a pretty typical teenager: angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass...but I don't want to lie to her. Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser. And in a way, they're right. I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what, but I know I didn't always feel this...sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back.

[Dubey 1,035]

not a movie, but Ari Gold has some good ones in Entourage:" I didn't go to the Lakers game because they were playing the fucking Bobcats. And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate, how to answer a question without a question, basic Humanity 101, which I thought, given your wall of ****ing diplomas, you could easily fix, or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me? I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with, and just so we're clear, I don't care about ANY of them. They're all just a number, like wife number one and therapist number seven. GOOD DAY! ""Okay, yes. If could *gouge out* Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And LLOYD, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog and who left me for those two scumbags, I would tie him up and allow the entire Screen Actors Guild to anally rape him if not for the fact that I'd know he would enjoy it. I hate them all, and yes, I want to see them destroyed. But that is not why I want this company. I want - no, I need - this company, because it's good business. It's good goddamn business and if I don't buy it, someone else will and that will be very very bad for my business. And my wife, of all people, should know, that when it comes to business, my judgment is never clouded, so please please support me like you always have, and I will deliver for us, like I always have. "