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I Called In Sick Today

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Ill hit em with code violations OUT THE ASS.


Title 9-19-2


The proposal is in violation of rhe landscaping ordinance designed to promote aesthetically pleasing developments, this is ugly as shit.


Has an environmental impact study been done? What of the wonderful creatures who call that body of water home?


Title 1-10-5-3


Was this properly intorduced in thd city budget? Where is the cost benefit analysis?




who actually owns this alleged boat? Where are the entity documents.


And on and on. We'll bury the fvckers in paperwork.

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Anybody got anything popping?


Im pretty basic right now, but my bosses boss asked my dad if i was willing to relocate cause he sees a future for me, so thats pretty on fleek.


I initially read this as "anyone got anything pooping?" And was over here all, like, Duh..obviously.

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Know what I've found to be fun? Scolding naive Redditors.


At what point did everyone on the internet turn into a mentally retarded, hysterically fragile adolescent?

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So today's adventures, beginning after our meetings, included even more evidence of the beautiful females around here. I mean son of a bitch some of the women I saw today, ranging in age from early 20's to late 40's was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.


A coworker makes his own shine so he brought over a jug of Apple pie and one of blackberry for us to try. The Apple was exactly like drinking fresh apple cider. On the smallesest perception of alcohol was present. Until you stood up. The blackberry I didn't care for as much but it was FAR more potent. He estimates 140 proof.


Then we went to this German bar/restaurant for dinner. It was paradise for you beer snobs. My boss started buying top shelf beers. This one was $90 for the magnum bottle and was crazy good.










These next few were good as well and were $60 -$75 per bottle. (Wine bottle size)










I didn't get pictures of a couple others. Once the waiter spotted the mark (my boss) and my boss got more and more shit faced, he kept coming back offering more crazy expensive bottles.


Really good times. Now it's up at dark for the cross country trip home tomorrow.









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Headed to FL tomorrow. Totally gonna stalk Mexico. Maybe I'll go to his bank and apply for a loan.

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Going to Orlando, right? Let me know if you make it further south.


Took my baby to a sports bar this afternoon. Went to have lunch with the first longstanding friend I made in Florida - a guy in his 20's from my church that was born in Jamaica and is kind of a hipster. I'm sure we made quite the trio.


On a related note, I'm wondering how much influence parents have on what sports their kid follows. Like, my family's into baseball (with a little college football), while my wife's family is into basketball. I plan to take my daughter (and her sibling(s)) to baseball games pretty regularly.

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I don't know how good that beer can really be with a picture of Scram on the bottle.


Thank you JLL, this type of joke was the entire reason I posted that pic.

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I was in downtown Greenville. Cool,place.

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This brvy thing is rapidly arriving.


I played 9 (actually 14) after work yesterday. After work golf is great. Played pretty decent, for me. Made some shots to remember. Ended on a par where I made a great approach shot.


Not much going on here. Friend coming to hang out tomorrow night. Rain on Sunday, so that screws golf up.


Otherwise, I got dick

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$90 for a bottle of beer. Lol. Not if it was made from Kate Uptons vaginal excretions


Anything more than $20 for one of those big bottles is just absurd. It's not like it's aged, like a scotch or something. Silly.

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I mean, there's lots of beers that are aged now. Hundreds, if not thousands.


That being said, I don't think any of the ones Tilty posted were, since they were mostly Belgians and Belgian-esque, and his boss was paying a 3-5X markup. But also, that first one was like 45 ounces, so at $2 at ounce, it's something more resembling reasonable, and it's one of the best regarded beers in the world. That would be a fun, drunk, tasty night on someone else's dime.

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