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I Called In Sick Today


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Tilty, tell these kids, with age comes "dontgiveafcks". Gotta use that shit. Talk to bitches.

 

 

Also, you dropped a huge ball. Your wife was gaggin for a 3some. Sorry you missed out.

 

Hey kids, Quit giving a dog damned f'uck and talk to bitches!!

 

Yeah, well, probably but not the night I talked about. Shortly after the porch girl on girl scene naked girls boy friend got home and broke up the party. Where I fantasized about coming home to find my wife and her going at it, he threw a fit and kicked the friend to the curb. Too jealous for his own good. Partially, I think, because naked girl wouldn't let him go down on her. She told my wife that he had this habbit of rubbing his tongue across his teeth or something and it formed a callus on his tongue that was really uncomfortable on her tender bits.

 

Ironic part is that some months later the girl across the street left the guy and he moved her friend in shortly thereafter.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Hey shake, just saw your next gotta-have purchase in the gif thread. Zombie chompin' at it's finest!

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maybe if tonight goes well.

 

 

 

man I have been fucking UP some damn projects today. and used my sawzall, grinder, and hammer drill in the process. big bear, doin thangs. and I haven't even gotten to the grass mowing or tree chopping. thats for tomorrow and monday. I do enjoy me some working. that's... pretty strange.

 

 

 

going to watch local professional wrestling tonight.

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Weird to go to an outdoor bar by yourself?

 

I always had a rule to at least go to the bar by myself even if I was meeting people. Having a wingman you have to drive home always cuts down on the odds of hookin' up. I never had a fear of going to bar by myself even if I didn't know a soul. I'd check it out and bar hop around looking for some action. Then again, I had big hands, a stache and a persistent demeaner about getting vag when I was younger. You have to put the work in though. Shit, they can only reject you.

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Geezus H Christ it's hot today. 98 F'ucking degrees. The time in the NW where summers rarely meant even 90 degrees have made me a pussy in the heat.

 

Tomorrow I'm thinking we'll do Mothers Day at the BEACH to escape the melting.

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george-brett-o.gif

 

Hahahaha Royals

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not a chance they'd go for that. if I was interested in that, and I guess I kinda am, I would probably just pirate SAS, no?

 

I imagine it costs $1500+

 

quite a bit more than that. I just thought your work might have it and you could get some work experience using it and that would lead to a better job or at least give you a good skill more jobs use. I'm not sure how you'd go about it on your own.

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I did 8 minutes at a comedy club last night. It was the heat death of the universe in a 60 seat club. The room ran down to nothing, to a state of absolute entropy. AND I STILL HAD TO FILL 6 MINUTES

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george-brett-o.gif

 

I lived near enough KC in my formative years for ole' GB to become one of my heroes. The part of the story that has always endured for me is that McClelland was eventually overruled by the Commissioner's Office, and the Royals won that game a month later, with Brett's HR being the difference. I think people get that wrong with alarming frequency.

 

That's still not even 1/100 as bad as the call Culbreth (and Welke, I think?) made in the

. I know cats who stopped playing in 6th grade who know that rule from experience. (The best part of the above video is around 3:00 when the crew chief makes the "game being played under protest" signal.)
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I did 8 minutes at a comedy club last night. It was the heat death of the universe in a 60 seat club. The room ran down to nothing, to a state of absolute entropy. AND I STILL HAD TO FILL 6 MINUTES

 

More rape jokes.

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Well, [redacted] does have a new account, but it's like [redacted] or something. This new guy also being a comedian was just a coincidence. I think.

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found a hangover cure: pushmowing and weedeating foot tall grass. after the initial feelings of death it really starts easing up a lot. cleared out a nice little camping area on my land though. now I just need to get some friends then we can all go camping there. one step at a time.

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