I Called In Sick Today

[The Ocho 970]

Beans, before you isolate, I want to put a zip line in the back yard. Bout a 100 foot run. Going from a tree to the lawn. I want to start off the tree about 6-7 feet in the air, well that is where the seat would be so maybe 10-12 feet for the cable, maybe higher? Not sure what angle to run at and how to stop. The end wi be near a fence, so don't want them careening into that thing.

 

Ill take your comments off the air.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I don't know, I suppose I should be? Get to drink top shelf booze for free all night with a bunch of friends I haven't seen in awhile? I'm actually in the wedding. And I asked the groom what would happen if I work a fresh pair of kicks instead of the rental shoes at the wedding and he said "what happens at the reception, stays at the reception" so, maybe I'll buy a new pair. The problem is that since this is des moines there's no good places to buy fresh ass kicks.

Will you be standing up in the wedding?

 

Yeah, you're good. $200 tux? Jesus. That's a bunch. What the hell does it come with? I expect a tweet pic?

Black tuxedos are cheap. But green and red ones with Rudolph cross-stitched into them are pricey.

 

Beans, before you isolate, I want to put a zip line in the back yard. Bout a 100 foot run. Going from a tree to the lawn. I want to start off the tree about 6-7 feet in the air, well that is where the seat would be so maybe 10-12 feet for the cable, maybe higher? Not sure what angle to run at and how to stop. The end wi be near a fence, so don't want them careening into that thing.

 

Ill take your comments off the air.

Or on the air...

 

You stop them by going up. With slack it wouldn't be too hard. What are securing the lawn/fence end to?

 

Or you could stop it with a turnbuckle. Get Whiskers to .gif the maiden voyage.

[brvheart 1,752]

In the history of pro sports yes there's been thousands of gay players I can guarentee you that. I would venture to guess there's hundreds of active pro players in the major pro sports that are gay.

 

Um, I think you're crazy. There is no way there has been thousands of gay players. I totally agree with ElG.

 

Thats all I want, for you to try

 

And for people to get my The Girl Next Door reference

 

And for Napa to get a hooker

 

And for TG to get an STD

 

And for Brvy to convert to Judaism

 

And for Shake to MTARCYPOS

 

And for Whiskers to, you know, let us in

 

Converting to Judaism would be crazy. I don't want to go back to waiting for the Messiah. He's already here!

 

Thats all I want, for you to try

 

And for people to get my The Girl Next Door reference

 

And for Napa to get a hooker

 

And for TG to get an STD

 

And for Brvy to convert to Judaism

 

And for Shake to MTARCYPOS

 

And for Whiskers to, you know, let us in

 

1) whiskers

2) shake

 

 

 

 

3) whatever

 

I want Brvy to have sex with who he really, secretly wants and not with who he'd claim he wants.

 

Olivia Wilde is lovely. However, it would be like that episode of Curb from like season 5 where Larry can sleep with someone, he finally gets ready to do it, and then finds out the woman is a big fan of W.

 

Olivia is a massive retarded liberal, and that would definitely be a deal breaker for me. No way I could look past the stupidity of someone thinking being a liberal is a smart choice. You know what I'm talking about Ronny.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Well, at least now I won't feel so bad messing with brvy

 

When you read a fairy tale to your kids at night, do they think that's a true story as well? How can they differentiate between the "reality" of a talking snake, Noah's Ark, Jonah and the whale, Rapunzel or Aladdin?

 

Anywho, those women on Fox News are pretty horrible, but it certainly wouldn't stop me from banging em. Just keep their mouth full....oh wait, now I know why wouldn't bang Olivia Wilde, it's because you'd actually have to have sex

[iTommyGavin81 288]

I don't even know why I'm still keeping this going because its not overly important to what I was saying but there absolutely has been thousands of gay players in the last 100+ years of professional sports. But either way even if there's been 100 the fact that they've all had to stay in the closet til 1 just came out while active proves that it needs to be publicized.

 

And Ronnie I'm not getting an std. I always use a rubber. But only with the ones who tell me they have herpes beforehand. So I should be good.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I give em the sniff test. And then look em up and down, if they look clean, the probably are

 

 

Underused word for large boobs: gazongas

[iTommyGavin81 288]

And also let's remember, women would never lie to men.

 

It's been a few weeks since I've gotten any and now I'm losin it. We had a ride along on the ambulance yesterday. So wasn't just chubby, she was fat. But she was 4'11" so I got her number. I just know ill text her the next time I'm drunk.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Do you make any "ride along" jokes?

[iTommyGavin81 288]

No because I never thought about it before but the floodgates have opened now on the endless possibilities. However it's dangerous due to the possible sexual harassment aspect

[Napa Lite 3,278]

Brv, do I love Tommy.

 

My senior here at work who's a big guy as well has been doing the whole Internet dating thing and got a message from some cute 19 yr old (black, but that doesn't matter, just giving you a frame of reference). I told him that she has some severe issues if she's going after old fat dudes like him.

 

Sure enough, he texts me yesterday that they had been messaging and she said she needed money for rent and he could come over if he wanted and then she sent some nudes. Which he then sent to me. I then asked for her number.

 

[funyet 53]

massive retarded liberal

 

Conservatism attempts to limit change. To slow societal progress. To retard it.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I think he means she's liberal but not well-thought out about it

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

there's a watch deal I have my eye on today....

 

http://m.slickdeals.net/f/6002322-Bulova-Men-s-Marine-Star-Mechanical-Hand-Wind-Automatic-Black-Dial-Watch-179-Free-Shipping

[Essay21 2,385]

In this hypothetical, I don't see how what she has to say factors in.

[Tiltinagain 973]

I don't even know why I'm still keeping this going because its not overly important to what I was saying but there absolutely has been thousands of gay players in the last 100+ years of professional sports. But either way even if there's been 100 the fact that they've all had to stay in the closet til 1 just came out while active proves that it needs to be publicized.

 

And Ronnie I'm not getting an std. I always use a rubber. But only with the ones who tell me they have herpes beforehand. So I should be good.

 

Just a guess but I think you coming off as sharing facts rather than your opinion is what spurred the debate moreso than your last point.

 

Nobody knows absolutely how many gay players there have been in pro sports.

 

Conservatism attempts to limit change. To slow societal progress. To retard it.

 

Bwahahahaha

[Essay21 2,385]

Oh man there were some red velvet cupcakes in the break room. But I resisted. They need to stop this temptation thing though. I won't be able to hold out forever.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Brv, do I love Tommy.

 

My senior here at work who's a big guy as well has been doing the whole Internet dating thing and got a message from some cute 19 yr old (black, but that doesn't matter, just giving you a frame of reference). I told him that she has some severe issues if she's going after old fat dudes like him.

 

Sure enough, he texts me yesterday that they had been messaging and she said she needed money for rent and he could come over if he wanted and then she sent some nudes. Which he then sent to me. I then asked for her number.

 

The INSTANT i read that you wrrote that she was black and 19, I knew she'd be looking for a sugar daddy. They all are looking for that on those sights and are pretty open about it. The whites seem to hide it better. At least she sent nudes, so that's something. PM those bitches to us Nappy. But yeah, she's gonna have her cousins roll him if he comes over

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

yes, us.

[Essay21 2,385]

Yeah I'll take a look.

[Napa Lite 3,278]

Ill give pictures tit for tit. Literally.

[brvheart 1,752]

Well, at least now I won't feel so bad messing with brvy

 

When you read a fairy tale to your kids at night, do they think that's a true story as well? How can they differentiate between the "reality" of a talking snake, Noah's Ark, Jonah and the whale, Rapunzel or Aladdin?

 

Anywho, those women on Fox News are pretty horrible, but it certainly wouldn't stop me from banging em. Just keep their mouth full....oh wait, now I know why wouldn't bang Olivia Wilde, it's because you'd actually have to have sex

 

I Corinthians 3:19, "For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God."

 

Also, I rarely discuss OT stories with the kids, since it's possible that some are allegorical. We tend to focus on discussing the dude that died for us and you, Mexico.

 

Snap! I got you good.

 

 

ps. You never need to feel bad about oppressing my beliefs. I'm used to it. All of my close friends are atheists.

 

 

Conservatism attempts to limit change. To slow societal progress. To retard it.

 

Who said I was conservative?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

So, napa, to be clear, if we send you pictures of tits of girls we don't know, you'll send those to us? I mean, it's not like this is your girlfriend. C'mon man, what the hell. We don't have much around here.

 

I'm kidding, of course. I mean, I'd look, but not invested. For brv sakes, she's black

[funyet 53]

Who said I was conservative?

 

Me, I guess.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I'm conservative.

 

 

In certain circles.

 

I have excellent video that I can use in trade with napa. It's of me squatting 135lbs six times. Ohhhh yeah. I wanted to see my form. Chubby, yet sexy

[Essay21 2,385]

Classic brvheart defense. Just breathtaking execution of a winning strategy.