I Called In Sick Today

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

And in an absolute emergency shake can get ahold of me if necessary. Last time I was at his place I scribbled my digits under his front porch ceiling to the left of the front door

That's making the pretty big ass....umption that shake's porch ceiling hasn't blown away in a stiff breeze.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Post away lil buddy. Just yankin your chain. Go grab a Red Bull chaser and a 5 hour energy drink. Lets see how high we can get you

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I've also thought about renting a storage unit and making it into a makeshift wood shop. But I assume one big enough would be around $100/month and that seems expensive for a hobby. I guess I could try making some stuff to sell to subsidize it, but I don't know. I'm not that good of a woodworker.

[Essay21 2,385]

I'm a hell of a woodworker, in the bedroom. Not gay sex.

 

Had a sweet lunch with a lady. I'm as ashamed of myself as you are. But she asked me and what was I gonna do? Say no? I don't have it in me.

 

It's hot outside right now, but they're saying snow tomorrow. I don't wanna believe it.

 

If I hit the gym onigjt it would be three days in a row. Been months since I did that. So I got that going for me.

 

[The Ocho 970]

That's making the pretty big ass....umption that shake's porch ceiling hasn't blown away in a stiff breeze.

 

I'm sure by the time he got up the next day it was covered up by a spider web, so he never even saw it.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

How about when she calls around looking for lunch company, you ignore it like she does your texts? Did she need a sounding board for some complaints? She afraid to eat alone? Was she broke?

 

But have no worry, most of us have long since given up the thought of you doing the correct thinklg when it comes to this broad

 

Now you'll tell us that she offered to pay to prove that she's one of the good ones, or something.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Are we allowed to ask about a Beans/Shake meet up, drive by? Beans, do you not make it to FL? We have Sebring, Daytona and other spots for car people as well as lots of alcohol

[Essay21 2,385]

She did pay. Point, Essay.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Yeah, clearly the big winner. Good for you my friend. Good for you

[Essay21 2,385]

I gotta take a win where I can. Speaking of winning, where's shake? Hahaha that makes no sense because he SUCKS.

[Essay21 2,385]

Another great thing to happen to me today was not eating a donut this morning. There was a to-do in the break room and many donuts were available. I had my eye on a white icing, raspberry jelly filled goddess, but I held strong.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

"Another" great thing?

 

If you dont try to sex this girl by the end of May, 2013, like a real effort, I'm calling for a Jeepstering of all your posts for a period of no less than one month. I dont even need you to be successful. Just some sort of closure.

 

What would Shia do? You KNOW he'd tap that ass. Fck her Suited, FCK HER FOR MEEEEEE

[Whiskers 680]

She did pay. Point, Essay.

 

I'm not sure how I feel about this being a point for you. Did you order the lobster? 'Cause then you'd have to sleep with her; you'd owe her that.

[Essay21 2,385]

She ordered the risotto and she was full after.

 

I'm gonna try Ronny. For you, for me and especially for brvy because I know how he loves premarital sex.

[Essay21 2,385]

We need a good hypothetical. Whiskers has been slacking on his appointed duties. I've been talking about how much I'm a pussy with women. Ronny has been giving advice he knows won't be used. Tiltys been saying retarded shit. Lets go whiskers.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Thats all I want, for you to try

 

And for people to get my The Girl Next Door reference

 

And for Napa to get a hooker

 

And for TG to get an STD

 

And for Brvy to convert to Judaism

 

And for Shake to MTARCYPOS

 

And for Whiskers to, you know, let us in

 

[Whiskers 680]

And for people to get my The Girl Next Door reference

 

I got it immediately. I use some variant of it often.

[Whiskers 680]

Ok, here's your freaking hypothetical. You have the power to make one of the below things happen, but you can't use it on yourself. What do you choose?

 

 

 

Thats all I want, for you to try

 

And for people to get my The Girl Next Door reference

 

And for Napa to get a hooker

 

And for TG to get an STD

 

And for Brvy to convert to Judaism

 

And for Shake to MTARCYPOS

 

And for Whiskers to, you know, let us in

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Nice one, but tough. Do i want suited to try and fail horribly? Nah, I'd feel badly for him and proud that he finally acted like a man

 

Napa? Nah, cuz that would only solve his issues for a week or so

 

Shake? Nope, he'd be the same miserable SOB shut in no matter where he lived

 

TG already has an STD. Has to, no? That guy dont bag up, nor should he

 

Whiskers? No again. Once you let that guy in, who knows what you'll see. He's like the mafia. Once you're in, you cant get out.

 

Brvy - i think i'm pulling for this one, just so he'd have to admit the last 30+ years of his life has been all wrong. Wait, that seems mean.

 

Final answer, brvy the jew

[Napa Lite 3,278]

For Shake to MTARCYPOS.

 

I worry about Shake almost as much as I worry about myself, which is a lot for anybody. Much less somebody I've never met. I want him to be happy.

[Essay21 2,385]

Terrible hypo because BRVY THE JEW is the only answer.

 

also I don't know what that shake thing stands for.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Move

To

A

Real

City

You

Piece

Of

Shit

 

How long you been here?

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I just made a pretty neat little formula in excel that did what I was hoping it would the first time I tried.

 

Pretty happy about that.

 

Yep.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Things are coming up Napa

[Whiskers 680]

I don't really know what BRVY THE JEW accomplishes.

 

I'm thinking either a Napa Hooker or Shake's New City. Probably Shake. It's a long shot, but it might be something.