I Called In Sick Today

[Essay21 2,385]

I was just asking. I mean let them be low, we are getting HIGH. I don't wanna get fvcked down. I wanna get fvcked UP.

[Whiskers 680]

I do wish I was better at winking. Maybe it's because I don't practice enough.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I'll snap you like a pencil stick, train riders know. I'll get my ax and go smash, smash SAHMASH!!! Yeah

 

Kai from Dogtown

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Go pound out some broads.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just wanted to see that written out again.

 

You no like?

[Essay21 2,385]

Whiskers I'm a really good winker. We ever meet in person I'm gonna wink at you before we shake hands. You'll like it.

 

 

[Whiskers 680]

You no like?

 

I liked it a lot actually.

 

 

Whiskers I'm a really good winker. We ever meet in person I'm gonna wink at you before we shake hands. You'll like it.

 

 

 

 

Don't mind me, just clearing out the ol' gif storage box.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I half stole it from Brace, my favorite guy on Showtime's Gigolo's, Season 3 premier on April 18th, 11pm

 

I love the "stop, my penis can only get SO erect". I will use that

 

Tilty hurried off after I pwned him with my Bill Walsh comparison. I enjoyed that one

[Roll the Bones 74]

I don't watch any of these shows you guys talk about which partly explains how I miss all the references to shit, but damn, Vikings is da bomb! I love that show.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Old people, amirite guys?

 

Thanks for coming back Rando, i was getting killed as the old man around here

[Roll the Bones 74]

Old people, amirite guys?

 

Thanks for coming back Rando, i was getting killed as the old man around here

 

That's cool, you'll be the young hip dude all over again!

 

Let's have an ice cream! With a Woodchuck!

 

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I got it Essay. Excellent episode. Kilmer kills it.

 

I am also an excellent winker. Ill wink at random girls all the time. Usually get a little cute smile. Sometimes even a blush. Probably just some sort of creeper defense mechanism.

[loogie 115]

Motherfvcking clients can suck my motherfvcking dick. I didn't like your lame ass sweepstakes assignment to begin with because it could never go into my book PLUS it's fvcking very difficult to write clever four-word headlines referencing three things at once. BUT I FVCKING DID IT, AND THOSE FOUR-WORD HEADLINES ARE GREAT. But now you're saying you don't want any fvcking headlines so we can simplify these stupid banners which no one is even going to notice now that there's nothing interesting about them at all. Go fvck yourself, clients. And hey, account guy, fvck you too, because you suck at selling my shit.

 

RAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[/content]

[Whiskers 680]

Yeah, fuck those guys.

 

 

 

This is for my good friend, stratagonia:

 

 

 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

according to my sources, in some high-level meeting today, I was namedropped as part of some hope that my department will start improving dramatically. how depressed they will all be when they realize I'm an underweight fraud.

 

actually, and I think a few finance people here will appreciate this anecdote, today I came up with a way to mass query bloomberg for the current month's pay date on mortgage securities and feed it into a macro to clear a buuuuunch of routine breaks between accounting and custody. some bonds pay on a delay of 6-9 days vs. the official pay date, which breaks the aforementioned macro. it's probably something like 200 interest payments per month that have this problem, and the fix is someone physically walking over to a bloomberg terminal, typing in the CUSIP and original face, printing the CPD screen, then comparing accounting vs. that screenprint. obnoxious.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Yeah, **** those guys.

 

 

 

This is for my good friend, stratagonia:

 

 

 

hearty laugh here. I'm sure you weren't directing it at me personally.

[Whiskers 680]

I wasn't actually. I just enjoy your disdain for stupid babies.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

according to my sources, in some high-level meeting today, I was namedropped as part of some hope that my department will start improving dramatically. how depressed they will all be when they realize I'm an underweight fraud.

 

actually, and I think a few finance people here will appreciate this anecdote, today I came up with a way to mass query bloomberg for the current month's pay date on mortgage securities and feed it into a macro to clear a buuuuunch of routine breaks between accounting and custody. some bonds pay on a delay of 6-9 days vs. the official pay date, which breaks the aforementioned macro. it's probably something like 200 interest payments per month that have this problem, and the fix is someone physically walking over to a bloomberg terminal, typing in the CUSIP and original face, printing the CPD screen, then comparing accounting vs. that screenprint. obnoxious.

worst assumption

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I wasn't actually. I just enjoy your disdain for stupid babies.

I sometimes wonder how randy's special little moron is doing

[Roll the Bones 74]

according to my sources, in some high-level meeting today, I was namedropped as part of some hope that my department will start improving dramatically. how depressed they will all be when they realize I'm an underweight fraud.

 

actually, and I think a few finance people here will appreciate this anecdote, today I came up with a way to mass query bloomberg for the current month's pay date on mortgage securities and feed it into a macro to clear a buuuuunch of routine breaks between accounting and custody. some bonds pay on a delay of 6-9 days vs. the official pay date, which breaks the aforementioned macro. it's probably something like 200 interest payments per month that have this problem, and the fix is someone physically walking over to a bloomberg terminal, typing in the CUSIP and original face, printing the CPD screen, then comparing accounting vs. that screenprint. obnoxious.

 

Today I told someone that they couldn't buy a $30K Mercedes because their bankruptcy wasn't finalized yet, and that in spite of the lore, bankruptcies do not mean you have "great credit" now. OH and no, I can't add GM's onstar to it.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Today I told someone that they couldn't buy a $30K Mercedes because their bankruptcy wasn't finalized yet, and that in spite of the lore, bankruptcies do not mean you have "great credit" now. OH and no, I can't add GM's onstar to it.

bankruptcies are a full mulligan and you cannot dispute that

 

I had 89 likes saved up. only one person had like-bombed me (yesterday) in the last month or two. I accidentally clicked the "view likes" button and dumped the total just now. I yelled "NOOOOO" as it was loading, when I realized what I had done.

[Whiskers 680]

Why were you saving likes?

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I was going to screenshot it and ridicule everyone for not being as well-liked

 

but then some ******* figured out how to pad stats with like-bombings, so it was of diminished importance anyway

[Roll the Bones 74]

I sometimes wonder how randy's special little moron is doing

 

Dude, I'm old. Who was that? :scratchingheadface: :scratchingassface:

[Roll the Bones 74]

Dude, I'm old. Who was that? :scratchingheadface: :scratchingassface:

 

haha, I didn't know what you were talking about so I liked my own post. Sweet!

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I don't know, some nephew or grandkid or something. you posted a picture of a baby and I called it an idiot in all caps.

 

someone messaged me the other day in the inter-office system saying something routine, but in all caps, then after like five messages said, "oops, sorry caps." I responded, "TOO LATE, THIS IS ALREADY AN ARGUMENT."