Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 267.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19413

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

ok mexico I accept your apology you ****ing faggot. and yeah suited, I'm going, but no, i'm not telling her what I'm going as beforehand. but for all you doubting assholes, we've been texting all night. I am such a faggot but god damn. if I go to this party and she has a boyfriend there I'm going to stab him. in the face. just like you ron you sonofabitch.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

What's their rush to get married?

 

Should we work up some excuses for you?

 

I...I don't know. The groom was in my frat and didnt have that many friends in the house and even though the only time I ever really talked to the couple was at the occasionally tailgate or party I guess I'm one of the select few. Two of the guys who are going stayed at my place last night and I guess the couple was asking when I was getting in. And then when they found out I wasn't coming, they texted me saying so and so's parents are coming down tomorrow and they said they had room for me if I wanted to go. I had to search his number on Facebook because he's not in my phonebook and the text just came up as the number. That's how good of friends we are.

 

And since the parents are coming back tomorrow night I can't use the "I don't have the vacation days to burn" excuse. Maybe I'll come up sick. I was golfing in freezing weather all morning.

Link to post
Share on other sites

ok mexico I accept your apology you ****ing faggot. and yeah suited, I'm going, but no, i'm not telling her what I'm going as beforehand. but for all you doubting assholes, we've been texting all night. I am such a faggot but god damn. if I go to this party and she has a boyfriend there I'm going to stab him. in the face. just like you ron you sonofabitch.

 

I'll accept a stabbing, but not to anything vital. Texting is good. It's laying a base.

 

 

 

I...I don't know. The groom was in my frat and didnt have that many friends in the house and even though the only time I ever really talked to the couple was at the occasionally tailgate or party I guess I'm one of the select few. Two of the guys who are going stayed at my place last night and I guess the couple was asking when I was getting in. And then when they found out I wasn't coming, they texted me saying so and so's parents are coming down tomorrow and they said they had room for me if I wanted to go. I had to search his number on Facebook because he's not in my phonebook and the text just came up as the number. That's how good of friends we are.

 

And since the parents are coming back tomorrow night I can't use the "I don't have the vacation days to burn" excuse. Maybe I'll come up sick. I was golfing in freezing weather all morning.

 

Well this is just weird now. No formal invites, a last minute, backhanded invite, you aren't even that close. Weird.

 

Now, what's your gift? Are they providing dinner? Bar? If dinner, you gotta bring at least $50. Dinner and open bar, what, a hundo?

Link to post
Share on other sites

No, there was a formal invite that I RSVP'd "yes" but I was really only 50/50 going and I woulda sent a card with money, so I guess I'm kind of the dick here. Now I guess I'll just deliver it by hand. Really don't want to go. It's like 12 hours round trip. I'd rather watch football.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm usually more fond of brunette's but Kate Upton is one of the hottest women ever.

 

That is all.

Link to post
Share on other sites

ok mexico I accept your apology you ****ing faggot. and yeah suited, I'm going, but no, i'm not telling her what I'm going as beforehand. but for all you doubting assholes, we've been texting all night. I am such a faggot but god damn. if I go to this party and she has a boyfriend there I'm going to stab him. in the face. just like you ron you sonofabitch.

You, uh, you sure about this? I mean, you're not exactly a freakin' chick magnet like me, you know? You probably don't even really, like, have a pool or a sweet ride or nothin'!

 

Freakin' dumbasses.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Shake, you're like Kanye in that Keri Hilson/Kanye/Neo song.

You should go in blackface as Kanye.

 

hey bud you're forgetting I'm white and have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

 

No, there was a formal invite that I RSVP'd "yes" but I was really only 50/50 going and I woulda sent a card with money, so I guess I'm kind of the dick here. Now I guess I'll just deliver it by hand. Really don't want to go. It's like 12 hours round trip. I'd rather watch football.

 

dude, 12 hours is a very long time round trip, but you rsvp'd. you have to go. wait, today's saturday, so we're talking about tomorrow? a sunday wedding? that's faggy as shit. fuck the rsvp.

 

You, uh, you sure about this? I mean, you're not exactly a freakin' chick magnet like me, you know? You probably don't even really, like, have a pool or a sweet ride or nothin'!

 

Freakin' dumbasses.

 

this is so good. I'm going to have to practice so much.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm old and lazy. I complained about 15 hours round trip on a 4 day weekend to see my parents, and aunt and uncle. I'm a lazy dope

 

12 hour round trip plus whatever time to watch the wedding and eat dried out chicken breasts and having to be at work the next morning is more than enough to beg out. Lazy dope or not.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Rsvp or no, that's ridiculous. 12 hours, riding with some dude's parents, Sunday. Nope.

 

Why the hell did you RSVP? You gotta send enough to cover your plate and a gift if you don't go. Make sure you consult with this place next time before any weddings. That goes for everyone

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I RSVP'd because I thought I might make a weekend of it and go to KC, but I had to burn vacation days on other stuff and didn't want to waste precious ones now. And it's not like I don't know the parents. They invite me over for dinner now and then and I'm really good friend with their elder son.

 

But it doesn't matter because I'm in a Cadillac STS with the mom, the son, and another kid in the frat on my way to BFM. Guess I'm just a better person than you all are.

Link to post
Share on other sites

well I'm laying on the couch watching aqua teen in my underwear so enjoy your faggy day fag.

 

 

I'm lying. I'm actually pooping right now. 3rd time today.

 

 

edit: 69, when you eat a junk lunch. at the same time that you get your junk munched.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Nah, I had thought of coming to KC but I'm not now. Driving straight through to wherever the shit this wedding is. I regret this already. They won't remember in two days if I was there or not anyways. I'm such an idiot.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...