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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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wait, what? you kind of went off on an different tangent there. I was talking about the gosling thing making you giggle.

 

 

I pay for all the date I went on.

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oh titly, I thought we'd been over this

 

I'm not the confidence backer. I agree with it, but remember, I'm the guy that suggest drinking your courage, then proceeding. Sober, I feel awkward talking to strangers, male or female.

 

Couple of Fridays ago, I hit the bar alone after work. Pretty crowded, cute bartender (man I love women in the service industry. Really makes or breaks the experience for me) and some old guy nursing a pitcher starts parroting the specials the bartender is telling me. Then after I order my beer, he tells me again. So I ask him "you on commission here? and he proceeds to tell me that he's just being friendly. So of course I bury myself in my IPhone, hoping he'll leave me alone. The other guy next to me is doing the same thing. Old chatty guy then asks us if we're talking to each other, then proceeds to tell not one, not two but three awful, old guy jokes.

 

He finally gets up to go piss and the other phone user (young guy) and I commiserate about chatty strangers, then chit chat with each other for 20 minutes. Ironic? Yes. Do I feel like a dick being rude to people that just want to talk to someone? Sometimes. But I talk to people at work all day. Sometimes I just don't want to be bothered.

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I hate being at the top of the page because I have to go back to the previous page to see if I got ol/dr'd.

 

god it's just the worst

 

I'm not the confidence backer. I agree with it, but remember, I'm the guy that suggest drinking your courage, then proceeding. Sober, I feel awkward talking to strangers, male or female.

 

oh, disregard my post up there. I thought you were responding to my post and I was ever so confused.

 

but what I was "oh tilty'ing" about was I thought you were basically saying "hey you guys like gosling in csl but you won't act like him, lol!" but that doesn't seem to be the case.

 

 

also, I've gotten to where even alcohol doesn't help me be more social/confident most of the time. used to somewhat, like back in college, but now I just get more depressed and reserved the more I drink. yay!

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but what I was "oh tilty'ing" about was I thought you were basically saying "hey you guys like gosling in csl but you won't act like him, lol!" but that doesn't seem to be the case.

 

 

also, I've gotten to where even alcohol doesn't help me be more social/confident most of the time. used to somewhat, like back in college, but now I just get more depressed and reserved the more I drink. yay!

 

I was alluding to that but I certainly don't expect anyone to flip a switch and just become charming. I could never do it. I mean, I can be a charming, funny mofo most times, but I get intimidated by cute women. Hell, I probably try too hard to make them laugh sometimes.

 

I actually think that you need an opener, a starter, in the parlance of baseball. Havel have someone start the game, toss 6 innings, you come in and close the deal. Essentially, have someone else break the ice and introduce you and you can feel more comfortable. I had a perfect buddy for that. I could come in to a situation that wasnt a cold approach and close the game like Mitch Williams. You know, a few high hard ones, a comedy of errors but ultimately, effective.

 

 

Have you considered Xanax?

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HOW'D THE BLEEPIN BAY OF PIGS GO?

 

I mean I said what I wanted to say and basically was told that because of her last break up she isn't ready. We get along great, and maybe we can move forward someday, but right now she isn't ready. I'm great though. She really likes me and all that. I mean it's not me, it's her.

 

I got the it's not you it's me. That's how it went.

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Rubber baby buggy bumpers. She sells seashells by the seashore. Just putting my voice recognition software to the test. Unlike speeds, but like shake and suited, I am all alone. I was going to go back and delete the lessons because it was hurtful to Shaiken suited, but there's no backspace with voice recognition. Lessons should have been last sentence.

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I have been. There was never a break up or anything definite. I just asked for clarification because after months we weren't moving forward. She says she isn't ready. It's not me. Bleep that, we all know it's me.

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I got the it's not you it's me. That's how it went.

 

Sorry dude.

 

You guys talk about your feelings a lot.

 

What the hell else is there to talk about?

 

If she wants a friend, she can buy a dog. Don't be the buddy.

 

Yeah, I'm on board with this.

 

I have been. There was never a break up or anything definite. I just asked for clarification because after months we weren't moving forward. She says she isn't ready. It's not me. Bleep that, we all know it's me.

 

Whatever, she's a bitch for leading you on for who knows how long during that time period.

 

You know what online dating is good for? Immersion therapy...going on a ton of dates, no matter how painful they are, because after a bunch of them you get a comfort level with it. After you've awkwardly gone in for a bunch of first kisses, not caring if it goes terribly because you'll never have to see those girls again if you don't want to, you'll be relatively competent at it when the real thing happens. I feel like a few of you around here need to just sack up and force yourself to do it.

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one of my e-friends gets laid quite frequently through online dating. a used-to-be fatty that took the road less traveled: turned into a huge b-hole after shedding his weight. I'm not subbing b-hole for confident, but he obviously picked up confidence in the transition.

 

it's a random story that I probably shouldn't have told. I might ask him for his formula someday if I want to start getting ass. I'm thin and interesting enough to do these things, you know.

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You guys talk about your feelings a lot.

 

Don't chicks dig that?

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I am thinking about buying a freeleech on waffles (unlimited music download for 24 hours) but am worried I will run out of stuff to download. I used to just pick a big popular collage on what and grab everything that sounded interesting, maybe I'll do that again. I really just need to get hired for a good salary and move into a fiberhood in KC. $70/mo for Google fiber is a steal.

 

the new animal collective is obnoxious. I've been listening to a pretty sweet album from kleerup. and I rediscovered Jon Brion which is nice. getting the nexus 7 set up for this has vastly increased my music consumption.

 

oh yeah, read about the war of the roses tonight. anyone interested in game of thrones should do the same. I learned only enough of it in school to understand a Shakespeare play, so it was mostly new to me. incredible.

 

my manager is going to set me up to brag about my accomplishments in front of his boss and boss's boss in a meeting tomorrow. no pressure I guess. I certainly did not ask.

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Don't chicks dig that?

 

I don't know, really.

 

I think aiming for CSL is aiming too high. It would be like watching The Sting, and thinking you could rig a card game and fleece the mob. What ever happened to friends with benefits? (Or in FWB? I didn't see it.)

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