Nikki_N 17 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 Seriously. There's a fucking windchill here right now. This sucks.Haven't found a chick to knit you a wooly hat, yet? Link to post Share on other sites
SAM_Hard8 50 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 So, here's why I'm flabbergasted.My daughter and her boyfriend, are both in first year university. They took a Gen Ed class on the 60's. They were taught in this class that the moon landing was fake. They firmly believe this. They are laughing at me.........silly mom, cuz you know, of course my generation would believe the lies the government told us. etc etc. So, I'm glad to be paying for this education in conspiracy theories.wow Link to post Share on other sites
Painter567 0 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 At Tommys... Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskey16 1 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Haven't found a chick to knit you a wooly hat, yet?Wool doesn't lubricate very well. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskey16 1 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 At Tommys...drinking amongst other things.Beastiality FTW! Link to post Share on other sites
jeff_536 3 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Beastiality FTW!Are you speaking ill of fair Raquel? Link to post Share on other sites
tall0n 1 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Haven't found a chick to knit you a wooly hat, yet?Nope!wow2nd! Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 At Tommys...drinking amongst other things.Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!Wool doesn't lubricate very well.Brett might beg to differ. Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Brett might beg to differ.I'll beg to smack you in the mouth. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 I'll beg to smack you in the mouth.Baaaaaaaaa. Link to post Share on other sites
vvganeshavv 4 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Ok I am sitting here completely flabbergasted. So.......I have a question. Has anyone in here ever heard a theory or assertion, that Neil Armstrong landing on the moon was fake/staged?Yup!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 Nightie night, babies.Kisses. Link to post Share on other sites
rocksquid 50 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 time to fly, goodnight peoples.cards live, pots monsters. Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Who's going to get married so we can do that all again?Not it! Link to post Share on other sites
custom36 4 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Excellent story, Tim.Bunny, next thing you know, they'll be telling us aliens landed in Roswell!Hi everybody. Link to post Share on other sites
custom36 4 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 So, I get into the office today and boss says "Why don't you have a seat..."Beginning February 16, my hours will be cut from 40/week to 16/week (boss is cut from 50 to 33). I'll only work Thursday and Friday nights. According to them, this is due to the economic conditions. Good news, though...I think. They're offering to let me train at another site with different hours. No idea what those hours are til tomorrow, but I'm hopeful. I've also made an inquiry about a 12 hour per week position working with autistic kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskey16 1 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Josie's on a vacation far away.Come around and talk it over.So many things that I want to say..... Link to post Share on other sites
vvganeshavv 4 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I'm sleepy Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 Josie's on a vacation far away.Come around and talk it over.So many things that I want to say.....You know I like my girls a little bit older. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 Morning.I'm taking Conner to school then picking up Amy for breakfast. Link to post Share on other sites
vvganeshavv 4 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 lame:A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest."Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.""Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."'"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed.""I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause.""Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question.""What is that, my son?""Do I have to tell him the war is over?" Link to post Share on other sites
dna4ever 2 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 So, here's why I'm flabbergasted.My daughter and her boyfriend, are both in first year university. They took a Gen Ed class on the 60's. They were taught in this class that the moon landing was fake. They firmly believe this. They are laughing at me.........silly mom, cuz you know, of course my generation would believe the lies the government told us. etc etc. So, I'm glad to be paying for this education in conspiracy theories.Geeesus that is messed up.I know I have read this before, maybe even on here, but makes me laugh every time so reposting it anyways .....A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and .. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . .. . WHAT THE HELL!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself!You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative? SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!! P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.' Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 So, I get into the office today and boss says "Why don't you have a seat..."Beginning February 16, my hours will be cut from 40/week to 16/week (boss is cut from 50 to 33). I'll only work Thursday and Friday nights. According to them, this is due to the economic conditions. Good news, though...I think. They're offering to let me train at another site with different hours. No idea what those hours are til tomorrow, but I'm hopeful. I've also made an inquiry about a 12 hour per week position working with autistic kids.Well, I guess that kind of sucks. Is there any difference with the other site? Further away? Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Apparently I shit myself...Any story that includes this phrase is good in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
fryer98 30 Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Any story that includes this phrase is good in my book."Hello....911? How aaaare ya?"Since you referenced Chappelle's stand up a few weeks ago, I figure you'll get this and how it relates to shitting yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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