I Have A Date

[Poppy_Hillis 11]

For the record, my initial thought was also Lou Whitaker.

Actually, your initial thought was Alan Trammell. Then Wang said he resembled the lady, and that's when you thought of Lou Whitaker.

[Spademan 94]

This sentence initiated a profound moment of Zen for me. I realized I was both shocked, and completely not-shocked. Both. Simultaneously. Like two sides of a coin, each existed with the other, at once. A breakthrough. I realized,up, downhot, coldright, wrongeach the same. Me, not-me. I dissolved.

I laughed at this.I chuckled at a number of the responses to Mercury.

This whole “I only make posts for my own amusement” refrain seems to be gaining common acceptance lately.

I'm pretty sure I started that around here at some point. And I did it for me and me alone.

[rcgs59 15]

This sentence initiated a profound moment of Zen for me. I realized I was both shocked, and completely not-shocked. Both. Simultaneously. Like two sides of a coin, each existed with the other, at once. A breakthrough. I realized,up, downhot, coldright, wrongeach the same. Me, not-me. I dissolved.

aw Vb you are the best rational one in the bunch, since the rest are anything but inept screw balls to begin with.

you're goddamn right he sees the big picture. and i swear, if you ever, and i mean ever, lol at my man vb again, i'll rip your lips off, and kiss my ass with them shits. i'll rip your tongue out, and lick my balls with it. i'll do it, baby, thats how i get down.and you really need to quit while you're only way behind. any more of your nonsense and you're gonna slip so far back in the race you'll be keeping company with chrozzo and rose. perhaps even brvhrt. AND MAY 3JAY HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL IF THAT HAPPENS.

as for you nimble one don't threaten my friend or else you deal with me again and you know I can be one bitach from hell. As for your comments about who slips back into the race I would be worried about yourself there. You are slipping back as your lack luster performance as of late, it's touch and polish and what shine it use to have has slither away. Lets face it Austin you lost it kid. You use to shine bright but somewhere it seem to have gone bye bye. Some minor blimps left. So to categorize me, chrozzo and others you could just place yourself in the same group my friend.

[jeff_536 3]

I'm pretty sure I started that around here at some point. And I did it for me and me alone.

Law of unintended consequences, sir.

[SlapStick 0]

I was just staring at that post for five minutes.This thread starts with a story about a dorky and awkward conversation.There's a picture posted.Then another story about a telephone conversation.And...and Mercury goes for the inflatable girlfriend joke.Apparently his ability to craft a relevant joke does not extend past the previous post.Call back is not in his repertoire. To borrow a phrase, I would love to have been a fly on the wall of his skull to have seen the thought process that took place between his reading of your post and clicking of "submit" after writing his reply.I might've borrowed more than a phrase there.So anyway, after five minutes I was still speechless at how bad of a joke it was and I needed to convey that.

This sentence initiated a profound moment of Zen for me. I realized I was both shocked, and completely not-shocked. Both. Simultaneously. Like two sides of a coin, each existed with the other, at once. A breakthrough. I realized,up, downhot, coldright, wrongeach the same. Me, not-me. I dissolved.

I thoroughly enjoyed both these posts.No way I could handle Bear's situation of going to that party, I'm sure I'd think I could handle it but then I'd get wasted and do something ridiculous retarded from the pressure and thinking too much about it.More importantly, what "sexy stuff" will she be doing on stage?

[Mercury69 3]

This thread epitomizes the Internet, in a way...Most people are busy trying hard to be clever and "above" the poster they've decided to deride (not necessarily me), for whatever reason. There's no real rhyme or reason to it, except to establish, I think, some kind of alpha hierarchy, whch is always amusing, in a simian kind of way. That's OK. I appreciate the fact some people need this false sense of self and acceptance. I like posting here, regardless of the inevitable flak I get. I do hope that, if ever I meet some more FCPers, this personal interaction will be a little more generous of spirit.And I answer the phone with "Wei?" sometimes. which appears to mean "Yes?", a rather coarse way of answering the phone in simple Mandarin.Regarding "Ahoy hoy": This was an old greeting used on the phone. Benjamin Robinson says, "When the phone was first coming into popular use, a problem arose - what to say when you answer it? Several alternatives were suggested, and one of them was 'Ahoy!'. It looks as though Burns stuck with that, even as the rest of the world had moved on to 'This had better be good' [or 'What?!' - ed]." Jason Hancock further adds that according to Cecil Adams' book More of the Straight Dope (1988) it was common to say this when answering the phone and was replaced by "Hello" as the time progressed. Greg Franks adds that Alexander Graham Bell said this was the proper way to answer the phone.

[qyayqi 11]

i occasionally answer the phone, "doctor tongue's 3D house of slave chicks." it is an homage to john candy. the sctv sketch included 'smellorama', activated each time the red dot blinked. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RdlL7TA_5s...re=channel_page

[SBriand 4]

You are slipping back as your lack luster performance as of late, it's touch and polish and what shine it use to have has slither away.

You use to shine bright but somewhere it seem to have gone bye bye.

These two sentences make my teeth hurt.

[Mercury69 3]

These two sentences make my teeth hurt.

Sensodyne

[SBriand 4]

Sensodyne

I don't think that will kill her...

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

and that which doesn't kill her only makes her stronger.

[Tactical Bear 3]

This thread epitomizes the Internet, in a way...Most people are busy trying hard to be clever and "above" the poster they've decided to deride (not necessarily me), for whatever reason. There's no real rhyme or reason to it, except to establish, I think, some kind of alpha hierarchy, whch is always amusing, in a simian kind of way. That's OK. I appreciate the fact some people need this false sense of self and acceptance. I like posting here, regardless of the inevitable flak I get. I do hope that, if ever I meet some more FCPers, this personal interaction will be a little more generous of spirit.And I answer the phone with "Wei?" sometimes. which appears to mean "Yes?", a rather coarse way of answering the phone in simple Mandarin.Regarding "Ahoy hoy": This was an old greeting used on the phone. Benjamin Robinson says, "When the phone was first coming into popular use, a problem arose - what to say when you answer it? Several alternatives were suggested, and one of them was 'Ahoy!'. It looks as though Burns stuck with that, even as the rest of the world had moved on to 'This had better be good' [or 'What?!' - ed]." Jason Hancock further adds that according to Cecil Adams' book More of the Straight Dope (1988) it was common to say this when answering the phone and was replaced by "Hello" as the time progressed. Greg Franks adds that Alexander Graham Bell said this was the proper way to answer the phone.

A Series of Events:1) Mercury says something worthless. (Repeat x 10,000)2) JoeyJoJo drills him for it.3) Mercury defends himself, and in doing so submits a series of posts significantly more interesting than anything he has ever said on the board, ever. 4) JoeyJoJo wins.(That is not to say that Mercury lost; rather, when Joey berated him for being stupid and unfunny, Mercury responded exactly how I'm certain Joey would admit is optimal, or at least close to it. Mercury responded with cogency and effort. Everybody wins.)5) Wang is intimidated by his new girlfriend's sexuality, both the degree and specific nature of. He has decided to write an open-letter, immediately, in his very next post.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

5) Wang is intimidated by the specific nature of his new girlfriend's sexuality.

Would that nature be inflatability?

[Mercury69 3]

Would that nature be inflatability?

Wang and friend?

[SBriand 4]

Wang and friend?

obv she is too pale.YOU KNOW BECAUSE SHE REALLY IS BLACK!

[Sal Paradise 57]

Would that nature be inflatability?

hahahaha! now THAT is a good joke!

[Mercury69 3]

obv she is too pale.YOU KNOW BECAUSE SHE REALLY IS BLACK!

Nothing a little spray paint wouldn't fix

hahahaha! now THAT is a good joke!

lol smd

[speedz99 145]

Regarding "Ahoy hoy": This was an old greeting used on the phone. Benjamin Robinson says, "When the phone was first coming into popular use, a problem arose - what to say when you answer it? Several alternatives were suggested, and one of them was 'Ahoy!'. It looks as though Burns stuck with that, even as the rest of the world had moved on to 'This had better be good' [or 'What?!' - ed]." Jason Hancock further adds that according to Cecil Adams' book More of the Straight Dope (1988) it was common to say this when answering the phone and was replaced by "Hello" as the time progressed. Greg Franks adds that Alexander Graham Bell said this was the proper way to answer the phone.

I feel like you didn't properly cite this cut & paste job, which I'm guessing might not only turn a double into a strikeout in the record books, but could result in some kind of suspension.

i occasionally answer the phone, "doctor tongue's 3D house of slave chicks."

And it's that kind of topical humor that keeps 'em calling!

[Mercury69 3]

I feel like you didn't properly cite this cut & paste job, which I'm guessing might not only turn a double into a strikeout in the record books, but could result in some kind of suspension.

Yeah, I guess, but it's simply from some generic site that answers questions about the Simpsons.Here's a better citation from Ahoyhoy.org: Ahoyhoy.org

[Tactical Bear 3]

Dear New Girlfriend:I think things are going well, except: you fill me with terror and sexual dread.Seriously, we've been on three dates, and you've started asking me for very specific things that, you know, I'm not really that comfortable with. Like, to pull your hair and stuff. I dunno, I don't think I'm going to do that. I guess I half-heartedly did it last night, but I didn't feel very good about it, and it's probably not the kind of thing that's of any value unless I'm really into it, right?Also: please just stop apologizing for biting me. I guess I can deal with the biting -- I mean, I'm not into it or anything -- but it makes me feel weird when you apologize for it directly afterwards. Either go ahead with the biting, or stop it. I know what you're doing. You're doing it and then apologizing to make sure I noticed that you bit me so you can judge my reaction, so now I have to deal with that.I think I have a very common reaction when I hear "that hurts" during a sex act, so I'd like to say: just because I don't have a sadomasochistic streak doesn't mean I'm "being a little bitch." I can handle waking up in the morning with rake marks up and down my back -- again, it's not something I'm happy about -- but don't expect me to get extra-excited when you stimulate my pain receptors. It bears repeating that my "pain" and "sexual pleasure" receptors do not overlap. Imagine a satisfaction continuum, with "pain" on the left and "pleasure" on the right:So, as you can see, in my case, Total Satisfaction = Pleasure - Pain. An increase in pain leads to a subsequent decrease in pleasure, and a resultant leftward shift along the Satisfaction line. Your satisfaction graph, however, looks much different:In your case, apparently, Total Satisfaction = Pleasure * Pain, such that, if we hold pleasure constant and increase pain, your satisfaction level increases. When I think about that it makes me feel like a single amoeba in an ocean of shuddersome trepidity. Please don't take this the wrong way, because I think everything is going pretty well otherwise.Sincerely,Wang

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Painpleasurenormalperson.jpgpainpleasureweirdperson.jpg

lol

[speedz99 145]

Edited for discretion.

[Tactical Bear 3]

just because I don't have a sadomasochistic streak doesn't mean I'm "being a little bitch."

I keep having this unfathomably hilarious vision of the ugliest little elf, who looks so jolly in his photos, half-heartedly pulling this girl's hair as he does her from behind, trying to keep a single tear from rolling down his cheek while he is verbally abused for not thrusting hard enough.And then I googled "ugliest little elf" and my laughing escalated to crying. My cats are looking at me funny.

CosmicChaos03-21-08, 08:12 PMSometimes I just don't see fantasy pictures for roleplaying activities I do in a game.I would love to see pictures like the following:1) Caster who has freshly summoned a creature or it is clear that the caster has complete control of the creature that is attacking the monster while the caster readies another spell.2) The Spell Grease with monsters or people sliding around on it as it looks like one of the characters is about to set it on fire. (I have never been in a campaign where this scene has yet to happen.)3) Ambush. Characters on a road with opponents having high ground (trees or top of hill) firing arrows down at them.4) Bard controlling the emotions of his/her tavern audience.5) A group of characters kneeling before a King/Queen on their throne.6) A flying character (with or without wings) over a party.7) Wizard/Sorceror with their Familiar. Example: Female Fat Wizard holding her Toad in her hand.I read #s 4 and 6, and now the entire campus is staring at me. I am also developing some issues with respect to "roleplaying activities."

[AmScray 355]

This thread epitomizes the Internet, in a way...Most people are busy trying hard to be clever and "above" the poster they've decided to deride (not necessarily me), for whatever reason. There's no real rhyme or reason to it, except to establish, I think, some kind of alpha hierarchy, whch is always amusing, in a simian kind of way. That's OK. I appreciate the fact some people need this false sense of self and acceptance.

Coming Soon; in this thread.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Coming Soon; in this thread.

Well, finally. You know, I figured this thread would be right in your wheelhouse. You asked us to come out of hiding, so many of us have obliged. I've contributed more content to OT-General than I have since my heyday, and I made a thread about dating a Negress. It took you 173 posts before you could pop your head in? This is perfect for you. You can't even get in trouble for making fun of black people. I am dating a black person, and I give you temporary immunity. I can do that. She said I can. I can also do the following:- Respond to accusations of racism with, "Oh really? Well I'm dating a black girl how about that?"- Use the word "mulatto."Mods absolutely can't ban you this time without banning me, and I don't think there's any possible way I could ever, ever get banned. So: go to town, son.