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Funny Response From Full Tilt Support


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Half-jokingly, i sent this message to Full Tilt support:"dear full tilt poker,please un-rig my accountthanks"They sent back this rather long response, which I thought was funny. Here it is:"Thank you for your e-mail.As an avid poker player, I certainly understand your frustrations withbad beats and general negative variance. I have myself been throughprolonged streaks of both good and bad luck.Please be assured that our shuffle is random.Please consider that as well as being technically close to impossible,there is no motivation for a poker site to "rig" the deck in favor oragainst a specific player. From a business standpoint, it makes sense tokeep players happy, and the best way to keep players happy is to providea legit, fair, and friendly game. This is why site integrity is ofparamount importance to us.I have the feeling that you misunderstand how our business operates.Unlike casino sites, poker sites do not earn revenue when a player losesmoney. Our income is derived solely from the rake, a small percentage ofthe pot that is taken from the winner of the hand. Understand that in avery real sense, we have no interest in the outcome of individual hands.Manipulating the dealing of cards does nothing to increase our revenueand everything to minimize it--it would be financial suicide as abusiness decision to engage in such unethical activity, ruining ourreputation. Understand that your losses are not translated into ourgains; the player who has won the money from you has gained to be sure,but this is completely unrelated to how our revenue is derived.Unfortunately in the short-run, variance is such a large factor inpoker, and many players will receive more than their expected average ofpremium hands in terms of card distribution and consequently at times,less than their expected average of premium hands. The same can be saidin terms of hitting flops and completing draws or having hands hold up.It is only when dealing with very large numbers that a player's averagestatistics will approach its expected average. This is where theexpression, "professionals play by the month, not by the day" isderived.Understand that there is no "doom switch" but there certainly isstatistical variance. It is only when speaking of tens of thousands ofhands that personal statistics begin to approach its theoreticalexpectation. For players that play this game for a living, it isimperative that they keep a very large bankroll to endure suchfluctuation. It is well known that an excellent player that may win from1 to 2 big bets an hour playing limit can lose 300-500 big bets, and awinning no-limit player can endure a run of 20 or more buy-in losses,again due to variance. In sit and gos, 20 to 30 session droughts inwhich a player does not cash is not uncommon. These are taken intoaccount, and professionals are very conscientious of when to move downlimits to lower their risk of ruination to a reasonable level. Knowledgeof these statistics will not make these players immune to badbeats--nobody is--however, they will react better when these inevitablebad runs do occur. Also, these same players are very honest withthemselves, analyzing when they are running bad, and when they areplaying bad. It is often the level of honesty that separates anexcellent player from someone who is merely above average.I strongly suggest that you visit the poker forums in the link below; itis the largest poker forum that is visited by many poker enthusiastssuch as yourself, and is an unbiased third party to our site (and anyother poker sites in business). I believe that the voice of the generalpoker community will be more persuasive in dissuading you of your beliefthat online poker is rigged.http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/ubbthreads.phpOn behalf of Full Tilt Poker, I wish you the best of luck at the tables.Should you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate tocontact us.Regards,ShujiroFull Tilt Poker Support"

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That e-mail was rigged and I hope you know that you will never win a coinflip/race ever again on Full Tilt. They permanently flipped your doomswitch. Howard Lederer saw that e-mail and said "May all your outs be gone and your pots be midgets."

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That was actually ... From letter 101-13-21B.Just saying.
QFTIt's painfully obvious that they are inundated with "please un-rig" my account e-mails.But I laughed, so that was good.
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----- Original Message -----From: xxx@xxx.xxxSent: 2007/01/09 00:23:07To: support@pokerstars.comSubject: Please change it back.> Dear Pokerstars,>> When 2007 began, I was delighted to see my doom switch had beenreversed. There was a celebration in honor of Pokerstars (a fiesta, ifyou will) because I had actually started to cash in tournaments again.>> However, on January 6th, 2007 the switch was reset once more. This wasthe day I saw a picture of Lee Jones in a Hawaiian shirt at the PCA - Ibelieve it to be the culprit.>> Thanks for your attention to the matter.>> Best,>> PokeHerProsHello PokeHerPros,Thank you for your e-mail.As I'm sure you know, the whole "doomswitch/boomswitch" thing is a myth.We have no control over the cards.I do however agree that seeing a picture of Lee Jones in a Hawaiian shirtis almost certainly the cause of your poor results recently. As soon asyou can get that image out of your head, I am confident you will soon getback to winning ways! :-)Regards,Stuart WPokerStars Support Team

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I do however agree that seeing a picture of Lee Jones in a Hawaiian shirtis almost certainly the cause of your poor results recently. As soon asyou can get that image out of your head, I am confident you will soon getback to winning ways! :-)Regards,Stuart WPokerStars Support Team
Muahahahahaha....I love Stars support! Teh NUTZ!!
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I do however agree that seeing a picture of Lee Jones in a Hawaiian shirtis almost certainly the cause of your poor results recently. As soon asyou can get that image out of your head, I am confident you will soon getback to winning ways! :-)Regards,Stuart WPokerStars Support Team
LOLOLOL That is hilarious. NH sir. :club:
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