What Kind Of Handgun Should I Buy?

[nutzbuster 7]

Browing 9MM Hi Power and an Israeli AK-47 assault. Menacing firepower that one.In Phoenix you can drive around witht the damn thing on your dash board! :icon_cool:edit: both were investments and haven't been fired in years

[Homesar 0]

"Everybody's talkin' about gun control. 'We gotta get rid of the guns.' We don't need gun control. You know what we need? We need bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. If a bullet cost $5,000, there would be no innocent bystanders. Or if someone has a score to settle, being like, "You know what, I would f#cking put a cap in your ***... if I could afford it! I'm gonna save up some money, maybe get a second job or something, then you a motherf#ckin' dead man!" - Chris Rock.

[Dogpatch 2]

wtf is it with americans and gunsbe like everyone else, act diplomatic rather than shooting everyone up

Dude, it was a joke. Can we not turn this into a gun debate? (Other than which gun is better) If you don't like guns or can't joke about guns, then don't bother. Anyway, I say you have to go old school and get some kinda cowboy six shooter. Or a Colt pocket pony, .32 hammerless so it slides in and out of your pocket real easy.

[mtdesmoines 3]

wtf is it with americans and gunsbe like everyone else, act diplomatic rather than shooting everyone up

OK, I'll bite, since someone some where is going to take you semi-seriously. Do we really need to cite all the ongoing violence in the world, from Africa, where they have slaughtered millions upon millions with machetes, to South America where political upheaval and assasination are the norm, not to mention the Middle East (NOT our fault -- they've been killing each other for 5,000 years and I wouldn't expect it to stop soon) and beyond to counter the idea that Americans are the world's sole violent citizens, and without Americans, everything would be better?? It especially bugs me when Euros and Euro-like Canadians hyperventilate about the very American nation that's provided a blanket of safety for them for four generations -- which is apparently just long enough to forget war, courage, loss and gratitude.

[Dratj 0]

"Everybody's talkin' about gun control. 'We gotta get rid of the guns.' We don't need gun control. You know what we need? We need bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. If a bullet cost $5,000, there would be no innocent bystanders. Or if someone has a score to settle, being like, "You know what, I would f#cking put a cap in your ***... if I could afford it! I'm gonna save up some money, maybe get a second job or something, then you a motherf#ckin' dead man!" - Chris Rock.

I think he said they should cost $1000. He also said "If you shoot someone, you know they deserved it!"

[avsfan 0]

From Negativland I present GunsThen (aka the past)GUNS. ("Hey pa!!")GUNS. "wilderness..........""Hey pa!! LOOK!!!"GUNS.Boom!Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam! Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam!! GUNS. GUNS.attractive target. (RUN, BOY!!!)attractive target.Mmmm mmm hmm hmmmmm... the sun is gone.... and all the rosesfall... (RUN, BOY!!!) GUNS.*bang*MAUREEN!!!!!! *bang* *bang* GUNS.*bang* GUNS. GUNS. *bang* (RUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!)Gee, (GUNS.) there's a real Western story for ya! (GUNS.)Gosh, what excitement! (Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys....)GUNS. Gee..."Let's get out of here!""Don't move for that door, either of ya!"(...and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys!)"That's Hickock's voice!""Where is he?""I dunno... I can't see nothin'!""You don't have to see me, now just settle down,you two, we're gonna have a little talk."We can't stop! (Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys, and Quaker Puffed WheatSparkys!) We can't stop!"We'll just sit back, and wait."Can't stop! (Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys, and Quaker Puffed WheatSparkys!)"Stacy and I can wait as long as you can." (We can't stop!)"Can't we, Stacy?" (Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys...)"Uh... sure we can." (and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys!)"Drag out your harmonica, Jingles.... we mightwell have a little music, while we're waiting...""Harmonica? (Can't stop!) Oh, surething, Bill... somethin' happy!"GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys, and Quaker PuffedWheat Sparkys! Those delicious, nutritiousbreakfast cereals... shot from GUNS!Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam! Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam!! *bang* *bang*Yes, shot from GUNS! (We can't stop! Get up in there...)"We'll just sit back and wait."Bursting forth gigantic grains of goodness!"Anyone shoot, and we give 'em their money's worth! Come on....""We'll just sit back and wait.""Guess you can start on the harmonica now,Jingles." (Alright)"Better put that fancy gun in your hand, you might need it..."(Alright. Now take my gun...)"Now we're gonna have that talk." (and themoney...)"See, in this world, there's two kinds of people, my friend. Thosewith loaded guns, (Gee) and those who dig. You dig.""Now, the difference between justice andmurder...""Hey, Bill! He's comin' out, I can see his horse!"Gosh, what excitement!"Go ahead, load up and shoot...""I was right there listening, and I just couldn't leave until Iheard both the stories!""Time sure flies...""Do you only know how to play, or do you know how to shoot?""I'm gonna kill you with this one bullet if you try to take hisgun. So... come on, take it, if you can...""Hand it over.""Heh heh heh heh....""You'll be dead before you can draw the hammer back!""Is that so? *click* *bang*" (Good shooting. Very goodshooting.)"Where'd you... get that.... Derringer?""Stay back, it holds two shots, now who wants the secondone?""Well, you know music... and you can count. (Bravo) All the way upto 2." (Don't shoot me...)"Drop your gun...""Don't do it! He killed Sol, but we got 4 guns, and he'sonly got one bullet left in that Derringer!""One's better than none!""We got him" (Let's see if that's true...)*click-click* Count to 3... (All the way up to 6, if I haveto.)Don't shoot me...I may be faster than you... (One...)"When I say 3, draw. One...""If you say two, I'll kill you!""Keep countin'!""Two..." (Gee!)"I'll kill the next man who speaks!"Gosh, what excitement *BANG* (Fight!)Hey, wait a minute... (GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS.)Good shooting!"Oh, don't shoot again, Hickock!""That wasn't Bill, that was me, Jingles, and don't break forthat door again!"Drop it, man.... *bang*You can have them now, if you like... (GUNS.) Eight dead men can'ttalk! (GUNS.) Ha ha haaaa..... (RUN, BOY!!!) (Here they come...)GUNS. (Hee hee hee. I think they liked my joke. Heh heh heh. Welet them go home in a little while... ha ha ha ha) (RUUUUNNN!!!!)GUNS. (Shoot at me, willya? Jumpin' catfish!)Drop it, man, bring him down. (GUNS.) Drop it man, bring him down.Bring him down. Bring him down. Bring him down....GUNS. (RUN, BOY!!!)GUNS. (RUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!)GUNS."Hello?" *bang*GUNS. ("...fine shootin', just fine, (GUNS.) ya missed him!""It was too late! He was blind!""Ya crazy-eyed fool!""What we gonna do, Sheriff?""Start closin' in! I'll come in from this side." (Go on)GUNS. *bang* *bang* *bang*GUNS. *bang* *bang* *bang* .....GUNS.GUNS.GUNS.GUNS.GUNS.......*BANG* "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......""Well, if that doesn't beat all! What's goin' on, anyway? Hickock,Jingles, Sourdough... all of 'em vanishin' into thin air! There's somethin'downright weird about this whole thinNowGuns, guns, guns!Guns, guns, guns!Looks like fun, doesn't it?Well, rocking and rolling on full auto is a lot of fun."we felt the women had been ignored""I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in my hands"(Aaahhh.)"you know, I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in myhands""you know, I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in myhands" (Aaahhh)"You know, I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in myhands""the feeling of, of the machine gun in my hands" (here we go, 30rounds""the women had been ignored""I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in my hands"(Aaahhh)"got to be an addiction!""you know, I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in myhands ... got to be an addiction with me!" (Aaahhhh... nothin' like it!)Hey, beautiful, beautiful! Last one got 'em!"30 rounds in one and a half seconds! Real firepower.....""we felt the women had been ignored ... they'd been kept ignorantand, uh, afraid of firearms, when they're no more difficult to operate thana household appliance"Hi! I'm Candy Jo, and I'm shooting the Ingram M-10, or the Mac-10!GUNS.This gun is one of the most well-known machine guns in the world,(GUNS.) not only because it has been featured in numerous Hollywood movies,(GUNS.) but also because it has derived underworld popularity. (GUNS.)The Mac-10 is the weapon of choice because of its concealability. (GUNS.)With this gun, even I could stop most of the bad guys out there.GUNS.As you can see, this gun is really fast! (GUNS.) It fires a 9millimeter round at a rate of 1200 rounds per minute! (GUNS.) That's, like,20 shots per second! (GUNS.)Not only that, it weighs just six and a quarter pounds, and it'sonly ten and a half inches long. (GUNS.)Hello, my name is Julie, and this is the M-16. (GUNS.)I'm shooting the MPK submachine gun. It's made in Germany, (GUNS.)The MP stands for Machine Pistol. (THIS is a real gun.) This gun fires a 9millimeter cartridge at a rate of 550 rounds per minute. (GUNS.) That'sclose to 10 rounds per second! ("they're no more difficult to operate thana household appliance")What surprises me is how easy this gun is to handle. (GUNS.) Iguess that's what makes it so much fun! (GUNS.)The barrel on the MPK is six inches long, and I'm shooting it witha 30-round magazine. (GUNS.) It weighs just six and a half pounds, (GUNS.)and has a clever folding wire stock. (GUNS.) Those Germans really know howto make a machine gun! (GUNS.)Now THIS is a real gun. Not one of those wimpy submachine guns.I mean, I've never fired a gun before in my life! (GUNS.) But letme tell you, once I got that machine gun in my hands, there was no stoppingme! (GUNS.) It's a blast! I love it! (What a blast!)It's a blast!It's a blast!It's a blast! ("Whew, THAT was a blast...")"Well, we started out telling a little history, y'know, with alittle music like 'Annie get Your Gun' and a pioneer-dressed woman... andthe story line developing through the, um, the dance hall girl who hadto... protect herself in various ways... all of these having variousconcealed firearms... then into the contemporary business woman in abusiness suit... uh, the recreational woman... a police officer... (we knowcriminals will always get guns) the, uh, security guard... and finishing("That's enough overdramatics. Give me that gun before someone gets hurt.Stand by...")with, uh, the beach woman clad in a bikini." ("Stand by...")"Okay, alright, stop right there. ("Stand by...")Where do you conceal the gun in a bikini?"("Stand by...")But what do you expect? This is my first time ever firin' a gun,(Yeah!) much less a machine gun! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) (GUNS. GUNS.)Hi there! My name is Lisa, and this is the H & K G-3. (This isfun!) The G-3 fires a 716 round at 550 rounds per minute. (GUNS.) This gunreally packs a punch! Wow! (Lot of kick to that, I'll tell ya)"As demonstrated in the fashion show, even when the firearm was,uh... exhibited, about 90% of the people never even saw it, or where itwas. They just saw it appear.""Now where else did you find places to conceal deadly weapons?"("Oh, there's Conrad General over there, let's say hello to Conrad General,hello, Conrad General!")"Firearms.""Okay...""There are lots of deadly weapons; we're only dealing withfirearms.""Okay.""We're taking this from a defensive posture. (You go on aboutyour business, you see?) Uh, ankle holsters, there were garter beltholsters, uh, midriff holsters, which are not unlike a tank top, and aholster sewn into that, it fits, uh, underneath the breast area..."Hello, I'm Tish. I'm shooting the Thompson submachine gun (GUNS.)Hi, how are ya? I'm Denise, from San Diego, California, and I'mgonna show you how to shoot the AK-47 automatic rifle, (GUNS.) the standardissue to the Soviet Bloc Army, I might add! (It's a BIG gun!)This gun weighs nine pounds, seven ounces, and fires 600 rounds perminute. (GUNS.)The fifty round drum is a lot of fun, because you can just shoot,and just keep on shooting! (GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS.)(Whew! Blew the other window out!)"..have the shoulder holster, then the standard hip holster, anduh, waistband holsters...""The horizontal shoulder holster was the perfect accessory for thebusinesswoman of the 80's." (Yeah!)"There ya go.""What about ball gowns?" (Yeah!)My name is Adrian. How are you doing today? (GUNS.)I'm shooting the world-famous Uzi submachine gun. (GUNS.)I can just imagine stopping a group of terrorists in their tracks with thismagnificent weapon. (GUNS.)The Uzi is a bit heavy at seven and a half pounds, (GUNS. GUNS.)but.. that gives it some heft and something to hang on to! (GUNS. GUNS.)There's something about having a gun in your hands, and being able tocontrol it, (GUNS.) I don't know what it is, but all the girls talked aboutit... (Anytime YOU want to go shooting, just give me a call)"What's next?"I really don't know anything about guns, but when the producer saidI was going to be shooting the Uzi, I immediately recognized it as the gunthe Presidential Secret Service men carry under their coats!"What's next? Do the firearms themselves come in, uh, fashioncolors?""Well, believe it or not..."*bang* *bang* *bang*Hello, am I on? (oh, no)We're here at the Trademark, the motorcade is coming by here, (oh,no) just heard a call on the radio for all units along Industrial (oh, no)to pick up the motorcade, something has happened here... (she calls) weunderstand there has been a shooting...oh, no she callsoh, no she callsoh, no she callsoh, no (it appears as though something has happened) oh, no...the motorcade sped on.the motorcade sped on.it appears as though something has happened in the motorcaderoute...Something, I repeat, has happened in the motorcade route.(she calls, oh, no)The Presidential car coming up now... (the motorcade sped on)I see Mrs. Kennedy's pink suit... (she calls, oh, no)there's a Secret Service man (the motorcade sped on)checking over the top of the car (she calls, oh, no)we can't see who has been hit (the motorcade sped on)if anybody's been hit (she calls, oh, no)Something is wrong here (no, no, no .....)Something is wrong here, something is terribly wrong (RUN, BOY!!!)Something is wrong here, something is terribly wrong (RUN, BOY!!!)Something is wrong here, something is terribly wrong (RUN, BOY!!!)Something is terribly wrongStand by...Something is terribly wrong (RUUUUNNN!!!!) Just a moment,pleaseSomething has happened in the motorcade route, stand by, please."There's the prisoner... you have anything to say in your defense?"*bang*"There is a shot... (RUN!!!) Oswald has been shot!" (RUN, BOY!!!)"Oswald has been shot!" (RUN, BOY!!! RUN...)"A shot rang out as he was led.... into his car..."(RUUUUUNNNNNN, BOOOOOOYYYY!!!!!!)"There's a mass confusion there... swirling, and... fighting..."GUNS."As he was being brought out, now he's being... led back intohis... turned to the ground... the police have the entire area blockedoff... (RUUUUNNN, BOOOOOYYYY!!!) everybody stay back... he is... beinghustled in... to me, he appears dead, there's a gunshot wound in his lowerabdomen."*bang*"Senator Kennedy has been... Senator Kennedy has been shot... isthat possible? Is that possible?He has fired a shot... he still has the gun, the gun is pointed atme at this moment.... I hope they can get the gun out of his hand... bevery careful... get the gun, get the gun... (RUUUUNNNN, BOOOOYYYY!!!) stayaway from the gun...His hand is frozen... get a hold of his thumb, break it if you haveto, get his thumb... That's it, Rafer, get it! (Get the gun!) Get the gun,Rafer! (Get the gun!) Hold him, hold him! (Get the gun!) Hold him!"Get the gun!"I hope they can get the gun out of his handp.s. I just had to do it.more of negativland at http://www.negativland.com

[mtdesmoines 3]

p.s. I just had to do it.

No. You didn't. Next time, remember that.

[RuntCake 0]

wtf is it with americans and gunsbe like everyone else, act diplomatic rather than shooting everyone up

Learned it from the warmongering Europeans. Pushed the Canadian's north with it. We only keep them around for syrup and comedy. This poker fluke is confusing. We may start shooting.

[Dratj 0]

From Negativland I present GunsThen (aka the past)GUNS. ("Hey pa!!")GUNS. "wilderness..........""Hey pa!! LOOK!!!"GUNS.Boom!Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam! Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam!! GUNS. GUNS.attractive target. (RUN, BOY!!!)attractive target.Mmmm mmm hmm hmmmmm... the sun is gone.... and all the rosesfall... (RUN, BOY!!!) GUNS.*bang*MAUREEN!!!!!! *bang* *bang* GUNS.*bang* GUNS. GUNS. *bang* (RUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!)Gee, (GUNS.) there's a real Western story for ya! (GUNS.)Gosh, what excitement! (Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys....)GUNS. Gee..."Let's get out of here!""Don't move for that door, either of ya!"(...and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys!)"That's Hickock's voice!""Where is he?""I dunno... I can't see nothin'!""You don't have to see me, now just settle down,you two, we're gonna have a little talk."We can't stop! (Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys, and Quaker Puffed WheatSparkys!) We can't stop!"We'll just sit back, and wait."Can't stop! (Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys, and Quaker Puffed WheatSparkys!)"Stacy and I can wait as long as you can." (We can't stop!)"Can't we, Stacy?" (Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys...)"Uh... sure we can." (and Quaker Puffed Wheat Sparkys!)"Drag out your harmonica, Jingles.... we mightwell have a little music, while we're waiting...""Harmonica? (Can't stop!) Oh, surething, Bill... somethin' happy!"GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. Quaker Puffed Rice Sparkys, and Quaker PuffedWheat Sparkys! Those delicious, nutritiousbreakfast cereals... shot from GUNS!Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam! Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam!! *bang* *bang*Yes, shot from GUNS! (We can't stop! Get up in there...)"We'll just sit back and wait."Bursting forth gigantic grains of goodness!"Anyone shoot, and we give 'em their money's worth! Come on....""We'll just sit back and wait.""Guess you can start on the harmonica now,Jingles." (Alright)"Better put that fancy gun in your hand, you might need it..."(Alright. Now take my gun...)"Now we're gonna have that talk." (and themoney...)"See, in this world, there's two kinds of people, my friend. Thosewith loaded guns, (Gee) and those who dig. You dig.""Now, the difference between justice andmurder...""Hey, Bill! He's comin' out, I can see his horse!"Gosh, what excitement!"Go ahead, load up and shoot...""I was right there listening, and I just couldn't leave until Iheard both the stories!""Time sure flies...""Do you only know how to play, or do you know how to shoot?""I'm gonna kill you with this one bullet if you try to take hisgun. So... come on, take it, if you can...""Hand it over.""Heh heh heh heh....""You'll be dead before you can draw the hammer back!""Is that so? *click* *bang*" (Good shooting. Very goodshooting.)"Where'd you... get that.... Derringer?""Stay back, it holds two shots, now who wants the secondone?""Well, you know music... and you can count. (Bravo) All the way upto 2." (Don't shoot me...)"Drop your gun...""Don't do it! He killed Sol, but we got 4 guns, and he'sonly got one bullet left in that Derringer!""One's better than none!""We got him" (Let's see if that's true...)*click-click* Count to 3... (All the way up to 6, if I haveto.)Don't shoot me...I may be faster than you... (One...)"When I say 3, draw. One...""If you say two, I'll kill you!""Keep countin'!""Two..." (Gee!)"I'll kill the next man who speaks!"Gosh, what excitement *BANG* (Fight!)Hey, wait a minute... (GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS.)Good shooting!"Oh, don't shoot again, Hickock!""That wasn't Bill, that was me, Jingles, and don't break forthat door again!"Drop it, man.... *bang*You can have them now, if you like... (GUNS.) Eight dead men can'ttalk! (GUNS.) Ha ha haaaa..... (RUN, BOY!!!) (Here they come...)GUNS. (Hee hee hee. I think they liked my joke. Heh heh heh. Welet them go home in a little while... ha ha ha ha) (RUUUUNNN!!!!)GUNS. (Shoot at me, willya? Jumpin' catfish!)Drop it, man, bring him down. (GUNS.) Drop it man, bring him down.Bring him down. Bring him down. Bring him down....GUNS. (RUN, BOY!!!)GUNS. (RUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!)GUNS."Hello?" *bang*GUNS. ("...fine shootin', just fine, (GUNS.) ya missed him!""It was too late! He was blind!""Ya crazy-eyed fool!""What we gonna do, Sheriff?""Start closin' in! I'll come in from this side." (Go on)GUNS. *bang* *bang* *bang*GUNS. *bang* *bang* *bang* .....GUNS.GUNS.GUNS.GUNS.GUNS.......*BANG* "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......""Well, if that doesn't beat all! What's goin' on, anyway? Hickock,Jingles, Sourdough... all of 'em vanishin' into thin air! There's somethin'downright weird about this whole thinNowGuns, guns, guns!Guns, guns, guns!Looks like fun, doesn't it?Well, rocking and rolling on full auto is a lot of fun."we felt the women had been ignored""I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in my hands"(Aaahhh.)"you know, I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in myhands""you know, I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in myhands" (Aaahhh)"You know, I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in myhands""the feeling of, of the machine gun in my hands" (here we go, 30rounds""the women had been ignored""I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in my hands"(Aaahhh)"got to be an addiction!""you know, I, I like the, the feeling of, of the machine gun in myhands ... got to be an addiction with me!" (Aaahhhh... nothin' like it!)Hey, beautiful, beautiful! Last one got 'em!"30 rounds in one and a half seconds! Real firepower.....""we felt the women had been ignored ... they'd been kept ignorantand, uh, afraid of firearms, when they're no more difficult to operate thana household appliance"Hi! I'm Candy Jo, and I'm shooting the Ingram M-10, or the Mac-10!GUNS.This gun is one of the most well-known machine guns in the world,(GUNS.) not only because it has been featured in numerous Hollywood movies,(GUNS.) but also because it has derived underworld popularity. (GUNS.)The Mac-10 is the weapon of choice because of its concealability. (GUNS.)With this gun, even I could stop most of the bad guys out there.GUNS.As you can see, this gun is really fast! (GUNS.) It fires a 9millimeter round at a rate of 1200 rounds per minute! (GUNS.) That's, like,20 shots per second! (GUNS.)Not only that, it weighs just six and a quarter pounds, and it'sonly ten and a half inches long. (GUNS.)Hello, my name is Julie, and this is the M-16. (GUNS.)I'm shooting the MPK submachine gun. It's made in Germany, (GUNS.)The MP stands for Machine Pistol. (THIS is a real gun.) This gun fires a 9millimeter cartridge at a rate of 550 rounds per minute. (GUNS.) That'sclose to 10 rounds per second! ("they're no more difficult to operate thana household appliance")What surprises me is how easy this gun is to handle. (GUNS.) Iguess that's what makes it so much fun! (GUNS.)The barrel on the MPK is six inches long, and I'm shooting it witha 30-round magazine. (GUNS.) It weighs just six and a half pounds, (GUNS.)and has a clever folding wire stock. (GUNS.) Those Germans really know howto make a machine gun! (GUNS.)Now THIS is a real gun. Not one of those wimpy submachine guns.I mean, I've never fired a gun before in my life! (GUNS.) But letme tell you, once I got that machine gun in my hands, there was no stoppingme! (GUNS.) It's a blast! I love it! (What a blast!)It's a blast!It's a blast!It's a blast! ("Whew, THAT was a blast...")"Well, we started out telling a little history, y'know, with alittle music like 'Annie get Your Gun' and a pioneer-dressed woman... andthe story line developing through the, um, the dance hall girl who hadto... protect herself in various ways... all of these having variousconcealed firearms... then into the contemporary business woman in abusiness suit... uh, the recreational woman... a police officer... (we knowcriminals will always get guns) the, uh, security guard... and finishing("That's enough overdramatics. Give me that gun before someone gets hurt.Stand by...")with, uh, the beach woman clad in a bikini." ("Stand by...")"Okay, alright, stop right there. ("Stand by...")Where do you conceal the gun in a bikini?"("Stand by...")But what do you expect? This is my first time ever firin' a gun,(Yeah!) much less a machine gun! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) (GUNS. GUNS.)Hi there! My name is Lisa, and this is the H & K G-3. (This isfun!) The G-3 fires a 716 round at 550 rounds per minute. (GUNS.) This gunreally packs a punch! Wow! (Lot of kick to that, I'll tell ya)"As demonstrated in the fashion show, even when the firearm was,uh... exhibited, about 90% of the people never even saw it, or where itwas. They just saw it appear.""Now where else did you find places to conceal deadly weapons?"("Oh, there's Conrad General over there, let's say hello to Conrad General,hello, Conrad General!")"Firearms.""Okay...""There are lots of deadly weapons; we're only dealing withfirearms.""Okay.""We're taking this from a defensive posture. (You go on aboutyour business, you see?) Uh, ankle holsters, there were garter beltholsters, uh, midriff holsters, which are not unlike a tank top, and aholster sewn into that, it fits, uh, underneath the breast area..."Hello, I'm Tish. I'm shooting the Thompson submachine gun (GUNS.)Hi, how are ya? I'm Denise, from San Diego, California, and I'mgonna show you how to shoot the AK-47 automatic rifle, (GUNS.) the standardissue to the Soviet Bloc Army, I might add! (It's a BIG gun!)This gun weighs nine pounds, seven ounces, and fires 600 rounds perminute. (GUNS.)The fifty round drum is a lot of fun, because you can just shoot,and just keep on shooting! (GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS.)(Whew! Blew the other window out!)"..have the shoulder holster, then the standard hip holster, anduh, waistband holsters...""The horizontal shoulder holster was the perfect accessory for thebusinesswoman of the 80's." (Yeah!)"There ya go.""What about ball gowns?" (Yeah!)My name is Adrian. How are you doing today? (GUNS.)I'm shooting the world-famous Uzi submachine gun. (GUNS.)I can just imagine stopping a group of terrorists in their tracks with thismagnificent weapon. (GUNS.)The Uzi is a bit heavy at seven and a half pounds, (GUNS. GUNS.)but.. that gives it some heft and something to hang on to! (GUNS. GUNS.)There's something about having a gun in your hands, and being able tocontrol it, (GUNS.) I don't know what it is, but all the girls talked aboutit... (Anytime YOU want to go shooting, just give me a call)"What's next?"I really don't know anything about guns, but when the producer saidI was going to be shooting the Uzi, I immediately recognized it as the gunthe Presidential Secret Service men carry under their coats!"What's next? Do the firearms themselves come in, uh, fashioncolors?""Well, believe it or not..."*bang* *bang* *bang*Hello, am I on? (oh, no)We're here at the Trademark, the motorcade is coming by here, (oh,no) just heard a call on the radio for all units along Industrial (oh, no)to pick up the motorcade, something has happened here... (she calls) weunderstand there has been a shooting...oh, no she callsoh, no she callsoh, no she callsoh, no (it appears as though something has happened) oh, no...the motorcade sped on.the motorcade sped on.it appears as though something has happened in the motorcaderoute...Something, I repeat, has happened in the motorcade route.(she calls, oh, no)The Presidential car coming up now... (the motorcade sped on)I see Mrs. Kennedy's pink suit... (she calls, oh, no)there's a Secret Service man (the motorcade sped on)checking over the top of the car (she calls, oh, no)we can't see who has been hit (the motorcade sped on)if anybody's been hit (she calls, oh, no)Something is wrong here (no, no, no .....)Something is wrong here, something is terribly wrong (RUN, BOY!!!)Something is wrong here, something is terribly wrong (RUN, BOY!!!)Something is wrong here, something is terribly wrong (RUN, BOY!!!)Something is terribly wrongStand by...Something is terribly wrong (RUUUUNNN!!!!) Just a moment,pleaseSomething has happened in the motorcade route, stand by, please."There's the prisoner... you have anything to say in your defense?"*bang*"There is a shot... (RUN!!!) Oswald has been shot!" (RUN, BOY!!!)"Oswald has been shot!" (RUN, BOY!!! RUN...)"A shot rang out as he was led.... into his car..."(RUUUUUNNNNNN, BOOOOOOYYYY!!!!!!)"There's a mass confusion there... swirling, and... fighting..."GUNS."As he was being brought out, now he's being... led back intohis... turned to the ground... the police have the entire area blockedoff... (RUUUUNNN, BOOOOOYYYY!!!) everybody stay back... he is... beinghustled in... to me, he appears dead, there's a gunshot wound in his lowerabdomen."*bang*"Senator Kennedy has been... Senator Kennedy has been shot... isthat possible? Is that possible?He has fired a shot... he still has the gun, the gun is pointed atme at this moment.... I hope they can get the gun out of his hand... bevery careful... get the gun, get the gun... (RUUUUNNNN, BOOOOYYYY!!!) stayaway from the gun...His hand is frozen... get a hold of his thumb, break it if you haveto, get his thumb... That's it, Rafer, get it! (Get the gun!) Get the gun,Rafer! (Get the gun!) Hold him, hold him! (Get the gun!) Hold him!"Get the gun!"I hope they can get the gun out of his handp.s. I just had to do it.more of negativland at http://www.negativland.com

way too long. didn't even read it.

[suicideking 0]

I need a huge gun right now. In BB with 45. Flop 455. 2 All ins. River a J. My opponent? J5 UTG. I feel sick.

[Dratj 0]

I need a huge gun right now. In BB with 45. Flop 455. 2 All ins. River a J. My opponent? J5 UTG. I feel sick.

Can't really blame a guy with trips for calling you though. Feel bad for you though bud.

[Royal_Tour 0]

The rupturing of vital organs doesn't kill people, impact trauma, malfunctions and loss of blood does. Oh, and if you have kids in the house, no guns. I am on "gun ban" for 12 more years. My ol man has them.

Impact trauma and blood loss doesnt kill people, chuck norris kills people

[mtdesmoines 3]

I need a huge gun right now. In BB with 45. Flop 455. 2 All ins. River a J. My opponent? J5 UTG. I feel sick.

ah. the endless dangers of playing junk. Ware! Ware!

[sideSHOWbob 0]

Glock 22, .40 cal. no pesky safeties, just your index finger. better accuracy than .45, more stopping power than 9 mm. best of both worlds, kinda like hermaphroditic porn.

[Dogpatch 2]

YES! A Chuck Norris and Clerks reference in close proximity!

[quadaces 0]

.22 rimfire, 9 mm or 0.4 caliber and higher? I was thinking of 9 mm at least. 0.22 ammo is cheap but I figure there's not a lot of power behind those guns. 0.4 caliber or higher seems awesome and there's good kick with those guns but the ammo is double the price of a 9 mm. Glock, Beretta or something else? Joking about sitting at the poker table with it. Thought maybe that would keep this in general for a while.

one that will blow your head off

[suicideking 0]

ah. the endless dangers of playing junk. Ware! Ware!

Re-read post. Punch self in groin for stupidity. Realize I was BB and flopped full house. Repeat.

[mtdesmoines 3]

best of both worlds, kinda like hermaphroditic porn.

Flagrant foul. DQ. Please leave the forum.

Re-read post. Punch self in groin for stupidity. Realize I was BB and flopped full house. Repeat.

I know you flopped a boat. Fives over junk. Anyone with a five and a higher card can (and did) beat you. Think it's never happened to me?

[mobius481 0]

Now this gun has stopping power. Shot one this weekend and it's a NICE piece of armour.

Shot one about a year ago. Truly a "hand cannon"

[Dratj 0]

one that will blow your head off

what's your problem?

Glock 22, .40 cal. no pesky safeties, just your index finger. better accuracy than .45, more stopping power than 9 mm. best of both worlds, kinda like hermaphroditic porn.

how much are they?

[thehidden 0]

Bullets don't kill people, the rupturing of vital organs does.

Ruptering of vital organs doesn't kill people...blood loss does

[sideSHOWbob 0]

what's your problem?how much are they?

got mine over 5 years ago and was a little over $500 new. they're easy to disassemble and keep clean. never had any problems or jams. and i'm glad at least one person got the clerks reference.

[grocery_mony 8]

Bubba the love sponge talks about his handgun that he keeps in his studio. its a handgun that shoots rifle rounds so its got some serious stopping power.

[Dratj 0]

Ruptering of vital organs doesn't kill people...blood loss does

Blood loss does, but if your heart or brain ruptures because I blew it to smithereens, even if you could stop the bleeding you are still going to die.

[avsfan 0]

just in case no one said this.NONE