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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Napa, I researched adderall a little. I want some. I worry about the evated heart rate/blood pressure and the possible addiction stuff, but it seems pretty good.

 

Doubt I could get a doctor to give me any. My lifelong doc in SoFL isnt big on scripts, unless super necessary.

 

I did like the appetite suppressent it said it made you active and even suppressed a little pain, of which i'm always in

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yeah I'd like to get on adderal too but I'd have to go doctor shopping and that's not advisable. guess I'll stay fat and lazy.

 

 

and having your wang mouthified is not sex. come on get real mexico.

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and having your wang mouthified is not sex. come on get real mexico.

 

The only person's opinion on this topic more useless than yours is....

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Dawson probably crushes on quality if we are talking looks alone as well. prime aged college girls. I'm not trying to kill the discussion here guys, just injecting some truth.

I feel like the quality score should take a hit due to all the bed peeing.

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I'll stay fat

 

You calling yourself fat is offensive to me as it is to napa when you call your yourself ugly

 

Dumb, lazy, faggatronic for not being able to drive a stick, alcohol tolerance of a girl. All of those things, but not fat or ugly

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I feel like the quality score should take a hit due to all the bed peeing.

 

And lets be honest. It was college, he was a frat guy, so at least 40% were date rapey

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Wait, napa was in college and in a frat around the same time. Lets here about hiis kills

 

Do they have GHB in Iowa or do they just horse tranqs?

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Ok, now let's speculate on quality instead of quantity.

 

I think I might have a shot at this one. LA was very good to me for a while there.

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only problem is that I can't imagine anybody around here paying me to do anything like that.

 

 

you gotta have licenses or something to do work like that? not even gonna ask about taxessmoking.

 

 

 

 

 

Once word gets around that you do stuff on the weekends youll be pestered to death. The "real" contractors charge from a three to four hour minimum just to show up. Nobody wants to pay that for cleaning out a short fence row or dig up a couple stumps.... if it takes an hour, charge them an hour. Do little things like transplanting a shrub or small tree that takes fifteen minutes, use my favorite saying when they offer to pay.... "Ah... I tell ya what... keep that thing watered real well and if it lives ya can drop some beer off at the shop one of these days and water me too"

 

 

 

Im as serious as a hog fartin. Its like that everywhere. Even in vegas its a non stop barrage of work if you allow it. And the crazy thing is, people will wait forever for you to show up. Flat out tell them you cant get to it and a couple months later they will call or drop by again. Not with human graves, though. Done plenty of them as well. Refuse to charge for those. Dogs, cats, and other pets get a free ride down as well. I do request cash or alcohol for horses and cows. Most stink to high hell by the time I bounce on scene

 

 

 

A couple years back a lady had to put her horse down and called me the day before it was to happen. Had the thing for like forty years and was tearing the poor soul up to lose it...

 

 

 

I thought about it for a minute.... when you bury one of those it takes a hole the size of a pickup to roll them into. Plus its never an enjoyable sight watching it fold up like a cardtable when it hits the bottom. She knew what happened but I didnt want her to see that

 

 

 

Went over there the next morning and dug the grave, then tapered a path from the bottom all the way to the top of the ground about forty feet long. The vet showed up a while later and led the critter to the bottom to be put down. I got a hug from both of them...vet was a woman, duh.... for being so respectful of a sad situation...

 

 

 

Yeah... after that got around Ive done a few more like it. Shane keeps asking is anyone in a wheelchair has asked me to assist them committing suicide yet. I fire back that if his wife keeps putting on the pounds Ill do it for her so the hearse can just drive down and serve as the casket as well

 

 

 

 

I want an aderall scrip.

 

 

 

 

So do I napa. Beans has me sold on it as a weight loss, energy supp. Alonf with HGH of course

 

 

 

 

Believe it or else, three people have already went to their docs with my "prescriptions of youth" recipes... saw the difference it made in me and couldnt resist any longer

 

 

 

One had to go be tested for add at a sexual therapy clinic. Took an hour and cost a ben and a half. His doc wouldnt fork over a script without it...

 

 

 

 

Or thats what he claims, anyway

 

 

 

 

Oh, shake dont worry about licenses and crap. You just have a tractor doing work for others. Same as cutting and baling hay. Its a farm implement, easily proven since you now have a "farm"

 

 

 

You can also run off road, tax free diesel in it. Saves a buck a gallon or so.

 

 

 

Before doing much more than mom and pop style yard work, get a liability insurance policy from your vehicle carrier. A quarter of a mil will be plenty. Maybe its a half minimum now...I dunno... somebody else does that for me. Anyway, your biggest concern is tearing up public utilities

 

 

 

Cut a fiber optic cable and it gets serious. Like pack your bag and get the hell outta Dodge serious. Water mains are also bad news

 

 

 

But of course youll have your back covered from asset loss by following my plain and simple tutorial, How Not to be Like Redd Foxx

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One had to go be tested for add at a sexual therapy clinic. Took an hour and cost a ben and a half. His doc wouldnt fork over a script without it...

 

 

 

 

Do you know the formula to use for women?

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Do you know the formula to use for women?

 

Your wife has ADD during sex? Seems about right after reading your posts for years

 

BOOM ZING POW

 

Beans made me sad with the sweet, dead horse tale

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this one doesn't make any sense

 

Really?

 

His wife can't pay attention during sex. She has ADD during sex because he's boring. I deducted that he's boring because of his posts.

 

 

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his posts aren't boring, they're just not as funny as they should be

 

hmm, I don't know if he is supposed to be more or less insulted at this point

 

 

Well god damn man, it was just a joke, not based in truth.

 

Guap's wife isn't bored by their sex and I'm not bored by his posts. (One of these two things isn't true)

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this middle aged woman could end up being a bro if I wanted to break the ice with the girl I discussed the other day. she seems to like me, day before yesterday I'm on the escalator in the morning, am facing the back of the escalator. it's glass and there's a waterfall and some good multi-story landscaping, so I'm just lost in thought staring at it as I travel upwards. she says, "that make the day easier to take?" jokingly. today, I open a door to the main lobby and it's her and the girl just standing there about to come in. I go bug-eyed and pause, then mutter "scared the crap out of me..." to big laughter from both of them. they seem close, so I'm sure she's plugged me to the girl.

 

I just get good vibes from everyone, man. it's not my imagination.

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It's your imagination. You're the weird "spreadsheet guy"

 

 

Their laughter was of the nervous variety. They assumed you were there to kill them

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