InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 cream filled doughnuts man. you make my breakfast more expensive, but give me free coffee instead, by my math it's fking daylight donuts time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,219 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Anyone know how to make a noose? After listening to a client and employee talk sports for 5 minutes, I want to kill myself The winner for me was "Aaron Hernandez didnt seem like the type to do that." Close second was the breaking down of Tyrann Mathieu's legal troubles and future prospects. Third place was employee droppin knowledge with use of The Pelicans draft pick, client being confused, then employee thinking there is also a Pelicans in the NHL. I hate most people. I'm such a snob. Link to post Share on other sites
Quacktastic 106 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I'll admit I was thrown off by the Pelicans being in the article I was reading. Was the NBA draft when their name "officially" changed? Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,219 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I believe so Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 680 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I'll admit I was thrown off by the Pelicans being in the article I was reading. Was the NBA draft when their name "officially" changed? Officially changed at the draft lottery in May. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 It's really pretty easy, but I remember reading once it was actually illegal to tie one: Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,219 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Does a noose serve any purpose besides death and hanging in effigy? Could it be a sweet ass nautical knot? Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I just spent more on lunch than I did on dinner and drinking all last night. god damn crab legs Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 and my lunch is half a chocolate cupcake because it was free. drank a bunch of green tea because I feel awful. maybe I should just drink tea every day instead of coffee? guys I need help my life is spinning out of control. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 680 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Did you have to pay for the other half or something? Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 my coworker didn't want to eat all of it. I got the idea to call her fat. she is like actually the thinnest person I've ever seen. I wanted to see if she'd still get mad. she did. I don't understand it. I then called my cubemate, who is like 6'3" and 23, short and old, to emphasize the point I was trying to make [he threw his hands up, gets up and starts walking away saying "I'M OUT"]. I think she was still offended somehow. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 680 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 She's probably super thin because she has an unhealthy view of herself and you've just contributed to her anorexia. Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 nah she's fine. though she should lose some weight if she wants any attention from sophisticated men like speedz. Link to post Share on other sites
Essay21 2,385 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Seems like an easy target. Body image issues can be exploited by certain men. Not me of course. I have my own body image issues to work through. So a client calls in and tells me her cousin told her that if she doesn't pay her taxes for ten years the IRS will just forgive the amount owes. She said the cousin stressed dealing with the RIGHT department. I so badly wanted to tell her that was true. But alas I have ethical obligations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 the way I said it was, exactly, "would you be offended if I were to call you fat?" and her face changed like I'd just said something horrible. c'mon. either I'm crazy or kidding. either way the proposed statement is objectively false. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 680 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 So a client calls in and tells me her cousin told her that if she doesn't pay her taxes for ten years the IRS will just forgive the amount owes. She said the cousin stressed dealing with the RIGHT department. Link to post Share on other sites
Essay21 2,385 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 It isn't loading. Can I get a description of what I'm sure was a hilarious gif. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 680 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 It's a picture of Spider-Man studying case law. Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I personally took it like Spider-Man was attempting to hide behind a large tome Link to post Share on other sites
Essay21 2,385 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 That spider man, always doing things. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Did you have to pay for the other half or something? Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 was that the same episode as the shrinkage bit? Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Beansey, how does Mrs Icewater feel about living so close to Mama Icewater? The picture you painted is that mama is a tad needy and you are an attentive son? In a momemt of honest, does the Mrs roll her eyes when mama calls? Or are you different from my family and actually like big family stuff Oh, like most all things marriage related it can be a problem... I built her a brand new house a couple years ago so Im still getting crap like, "You spent all that time working on her house but my baseboard still isnt finished where you took it off to stain the floor" and crap like that. I dont pay attention much to it these days. Shes seventy five and almost died bringing me into the world.... plus has put up with my nonsense from day one. The wife has just had a dozen or so visits to the house from the authorities over the years. Never more than two in one day. She has a lot of catching up to do... Just got back from taking her to the doctors office for blood work. Got in my truck and as usual gave me the stink eye for the beer in my hand. It really concerns her when I take one in the building wrapped in a cano.... "You aint takin that in with you are you?" "They dont serve them in there" "Ill tell you what one of these days youre gonna get into it" "For what?" "Drinkin in public" "Ill just pull out my forty five and take one of these pretty nurses hostage" "YOU CARRYIN THAT GUN?" "Never leave home without it" (sits down in lobby where Gunsmoke is on TV) "One of these days that thing is gonna go off and take your ass clean off" "I sit down real easy... plus its locked" "That dont mean nuthin....member that time you let that one go off in the kitchen?" "I was ten and that gun was defective" "What about when you shot the windshield out of the truck from the inside?" "Greg did a bad trigger job on that one...snapped the safety off and it went off" "...and the time you shot the television out?" "That wasnt me....Shane was fast drawing at a cowboy movie and his brother slipped a shell in it when he was in the bathroom" "Well.... Im just sayin" "Yeah" "Looks like youd learn somethin" "I know" "I want Long John Silvers on the way home" It's really pretty easy, but I remember reading once it was actually illegal to tie one: Ive heard that before, too. Now I want to make one.... Does a noose serve any purpose besides death and hanging in effigy? Could it be a sweet ass nautical knot? Its pretty close to the knot I tie on fishing lures. Improved cinch knot I think its called.... In other news, been working on a stripe layout for the jeep. Just spent two hours at the local parts place mixing up some custom paint. The guy who manages the auto paint department gave up years ago trying to match my thoughts and leaves me to brew my own recipes. Started off with silver ice metallic, added in some medium blue flake, just a tad of blue tint, and a dab of pearl. Sha-weet if I do say so myself. The color is called "Blue Beans Sippin Flash Bang Silver" in the computer listings. WA-six-three-six-R-BBSFBS is the official code in case anyone needs a gallon or two. Normally two eighty a gal, just mention me for a price break down to one fifty seven. Catalyst and reducer not included And the stripes.... yeah, wicked cool stripes, will be an already coded mix called, "Cyber Sex Gray Damp Unmentionables" Believe it or else, hes sold several gallons of that mix to others since I brewed it up a few moons ago. And no, its not scratch-n-sniff. Didnt think about mixing in the required additive until it was sprayed. Five grams of tuna oil sounds about right... Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,219 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 I used to love watching Chip Foose mix up a paint color and stripe a car. His guy Dennis (i think) did the thin ones by hand. Amazing to watch. If I didnt hate beer in the can (not my ass, but aluminum) I'd ask beansey to send me some of those canos. Still may. They're perfect for the beach. Last time we just bought a bunch of Jai Alai and the cans just looked like orange soda Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,035 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Some website is selling them for $4 apiece. Link to post Share on other sites
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