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I Called In Sick Today


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So, you pedos are saying that she was attractive when she was underage, but not so much anymore?

 

You who is an underage hottie, Tyrion's new wife, Sunser, or whatever. The sweet speaking ginger.

 

Also, Nathan Fillion's daughter on Castle. At least she just turned 18 IRL

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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We had dueling mariachi's here last night. The house to the left and the house 2 to the right both had what I assume were graduation parties last night. Let me tell you, mexicans like their parties, which is fine, but what's not fine is BLARING the mexican carnival music until after 1 am in the morning. Should have probably gone over and told them to tone it down some but I wasn't getting out of bed, getting dressed and going over to deal with a bunch of drunk mexicans at freaking midnight.

 

Going to do some pork spare ribs and corn on the cob on the Q today. Not much else probably.

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It's not her looks, Mexico. Maeby was never hot. It was her attitude that was amazing the first time around. Granted, she didn't have a lot of screen time, in the first episode, but from what I saw, she has lost a step in the confidence department.

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It's actually a really nice neighborhood. Middle class working people, a good 9 iron from the driving range of a golf course. But, yeah, there are a lot of mexicans.

 

He's just getting into the minds of his clientele.

 

And employees. The only white people are 3 of the 5 bosses in the area. It's not uncommon for customers to comment about how I must be the boss...because I'm white.

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Went for a 2+ mile walk in my parent's hood this morning. They live at 1000ft of elevation, which I gather isn't much, although I've lived my life at 5ft, but man oh man, some of the hills in this community, one in particular, almost killed me. Now my left heel is barking again.

 

Point is, way outta shape

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AD is still good. I'm sad everyone is older. Maeby has lost her mojo if you ask me. Age hasn't been nice to the women.

 

I've seen two episodes so far (Michael 1, George Sr. 1, which are the first two on Netflix). The first one was okay, with a few good moments. The second one was pretty bad. China Gardens? A stupid Asian stereotype? It's not even remotely funny.

 

Please tell me it gets better.

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Went for a 2+ mile walk in my parent's hood this morning. They live at 1000ft of elevation, which I gather isn't much, although I've lived my life at 5ft, but man oh man, some of the hills in this community, one in particular, almost killed me. Now my left heel is barking again.

 

Point is, way outta shape

I live at 3500ft, maybe that's why I get winded so easily...

 

Also, way outta shape.

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Went for a 2+ mile walk in my parent's hood this morning. They live at 1000ft of elevation, which I gather isn't much, although I've lived my life at 5ft, but man oh man, some of the hills in this community, one in particular, almost killed me. Now my left heel is barking again.

 

Point is, way outta shape

 

Don't think I've lived below 1000' elevation since I was like 10, including now in So Cal. Wouldn't think that's enough to take the wind out of you. Maybe JLL teritory would. I'm sure hills had more to do with it. I mean, FL doesn't have any hills higher than a speed bump from what I've seen.

 

Did some outside clean up, ribs are smoking....about to pop a Fat Tire.

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I've got my first date since I broke up with my girlfriend tonight. It's been over a month, so I figure it's time to get back in there. This is a girl I work with, and there's zero long term potential there, so I'm sure the chances of it ending horribly and affecting my professional life are 95%+. Scouting breakdown follows

 

Name: Ellen

 

Age: 25

 

Looks: 65/80 (Face 65, Body 60)

 

Intelligence: 35

 

Sense of Humor: 50

 

Sluttiness: 70

 

 

She wants to go see ****ing fireworks, which is terrible, because I hate outside. I will cover myself in Deep Woods OFF! and still be eaten alive by mosquitoes. I will somehow manage to dress inappropriately. No matter what I wear, I will be uncomfortably cold or hot within 30 minutes of arrival at the fireworks site, and whatever she wants to do after (knock on wood), I will stick out like a sore thumb.

 

I'm just bringing a pint of vodka and a 12 pack with me so even if she doesn't want to drink, I won't get too hammered to not get laid.

 

 

Fireworks are the worst.

 

 

 

Edit: I used the MLB Scouting Scale above. It's the best scale. All tools are graded out of 80, with 50 being average, and each 10 points above or below representing one standard deviation.

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I cant imagine it would be humanly possible to tell the difference between seal level and a thousand feet...

 

 

 

I lean out a carbed non-turbo engine in three thousand increments and even then its in miniscule amounts

 

 

 

Hell, the average cabin pressure of an airliner is six to eight thousand at cruise...sure hope Chrissy dont ever jump out of his seat and try to run to the lav...

 

 

 

 

...not only will he pass out but the trim servo will likely overheat

 

 

 

 

(I got in two whammys with that one... first one is obvious...second takes some airman knowledge, but trust me...is goddamn funny)

 

 

 

 

 

In other not so amazing news

 

 

 

I also grilled ribs this evening. A few t-bones thrown in for good measure. Baked taters loaded to the hilt with a cheap cup full of black Crown on the side

 

 

 

Took all that in while watching the duke fight the japs in an ATsix...

 

 

 

Good day

 

 

 

Hypoxia at a thousand feet....

 

 

 

Ill giggle myself to sleep with that one

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Hypoxia at a thousand feet....

 

 

 

Ill giggle myself to sleep with that one

 

Admittedly it's not quite the same thing but a few years ago I was diving when I still lived in the coast mountains. We maxed out our time at depth and were actually running late in general so when we surfaced we loaded our gear and started to boot home. I lived at 2200ft and we weren't halfway (upwise) there before my instructor's dive computer started going apeshit in the backseat of the car. Turns out you can get the bends if you keep climbing even after you out of the water, according to the computer anyways. So I wouldn't go diving on the last morning of a vacation before flying out!

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Admittedly it's not quite the same thing but a few years ago I was diving...

 

 

 

 

Never thought about that...

 

 

 

 

Ive staggered around colorado for years and never even noticed the difference myself. Pikes peak even.

 

 

 

 

I can tell you for an absolute fact that certain beers foam like crazy above twelve or so thousand feet. A few years back a buddy supplied our group with a couple cases of miller genuine draft for a trip from here to vegas...

 

 

 

Of course the winds aloft favored higher altitude but the beer didnt

 

 

 

Fought a terrible headwind all the way there and burned several more gallons an hour just for the ability to indulge...

 

 

 

 

Well worth it, though

 

 

 

 

Mexi just tweeted a pic from the top of the bank of america plaza....

 

 

 

10331780-washington-dc--july-9-space-suit-from-space-shuttle-mission-sts-128-to-the-international-space-stati.jpg

 

 

 

 

sweet glass elevator...

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sure hope Chrissy dont ever jump out of his seat and try to run to the lav...

.

Ill giggle myself to sleep with that one

 

O was more making a joke about the 1k feet. Truth is, I'm crazy out of shape for uphill walks

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Apparently it's pick on Ronny night.

 

Very good job on the scouting report Nick. Something more descriptive than "60" for the body would be good though. You know, face/cans/ass.

 

And tell us more about this 70 slutiness.

 

Had about a 12pk of Fat Tire's

 

I only had 3 or 4. I was happy to discover that Fat Tire pairs really well with ribs. Had a tall Blue Moon yesterday at Red Robin. I really like those wheat beers.

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Very good job on the scouting report Nick. Something more descriptive than "60" for the body would be good though. You know, face/cans/ass.

 

And tell us more about this 70 slutiness.

 

 

 

I only had 3 or 4. I was happy to discover that Fat Tire pairs really well with ribs. Had a tall Blue Moon yesterday at Red Robin. I really like those wheat beers.

 

 

I've spent 100 dollars at this ****ing carnival, so that 70 sluttiness score means she is going to feel obligated to touch my penis before this night is over. She's eating an Elephant Ear and a SnoCone right now, so I said I had to use the bathroom, but I went to my car to drink a beer and refill my flask, instead. I haven't even offered her a drink. Maybe I should do that?

 

I've already given you face (65/80), but if we break down the Big 3 it would look something like

 

Breasts 65

Legs 55

Ass 50

 

I don't care about ass, and breasts are the best, so they're probably weighted about 3:2:1. She's got good cans, but girls lie with bras, so that number really reflects an average of all possibilities. She could be as high as a 70, or as low as a 55/60. I've seen her in a few outfits, so I think 65 is a pretty safe guess for the muppets.

 

Now I'm off to get her drunk.

 

 

Blue Moon is fucking terrible.

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Holy shit, I thought I was an alcoholic. Apparently I have much to learn.

 

If were doing the beer count...I had a coors light, a high life (both in bottles) and two 24 oz cans of bud light today.

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At the I-Cubs game today me and my roommate were discussing how much juice you'd need to be able to throw the first pitch at the game. We decided our best chance would be to talk to his younger brother, who is a rapper, and create some sort of I-cubs song and hope it goes viral in our area.

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I still don't know what he means.

 

The wife has a friend visiting/staying with parents/sister for the weekend, so she's got my son and herself over there for the evening. I'm quite bored and drinking appropriately. Started off splitting a bomber of Lawson's Double Sunshine IPA (a quaint 100 rating on Beer Advocate that my boss got for me), then having a Jack's Abby Maple something or other. It just was okay. I do not recommend maple beers to anyone, ever. That only brings me to about 6 pm, when I was with people. I've been alone since, and have had a can of Hazed and Infused, a 32 oz bottle of a Mystic saison, and I'm on my second glass (between 3-4 oz each) of honey whiskey. Ron knows what I'm talking about. I love this honey stuff.

 

While I do have tomorrow off from work, I am reffing at 8:30 in the morning, with my dad. I got two games, the second of which I'll be the main referee for, which is a u19 boys game, which will probably be a large pain in my ass. So far this weekend, I've done 10 games in two days. I love soccer, but this is pushing it.

 

 

Time to watch AD episode 8, and then probably sleep.

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