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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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The other day I was sitting in my room just bored, watching tv or something and playing with my nutsack, and I found that I could kind of push one of my testicles up into the area above and to the side of my penis. There's like a bulge there when I do it, but it's not that noticeable and unless you were to look really close you couldn't even tell. So after a little bit of working at it I was able to get both simultaneously up there and hold them with one hand so it looked like I had no testicles at all. Then I just kind of examined myself in the mirror for a while and flapped the skin back and forth with my fingers and tugged on it and shit. Anyway, just something for you guys to try out if you have some spare time. It's tons of fun.

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The other day I was sitting in my room just bored, watching tv or something and playing with my nutsack, and I found that I could kind of push one of my testicles up into the area above and to the side of my penis. There's like a bulge there when I do it, but it's not that noticeable and unless you were to look really close you couldn't even tell. So after a little bit of working at it I was able to get both simultaneously up there and hold them with one hand so it looked like I had no testicles at all. Then I just kind of examined myself in the mirror for a while and flapped the skin back and forth with my fingers and tugged on it and shit. Anyway, just something for you guys to try out if you have some spare time. It's tons of fun.
Caleb
yeah, I guess I didn't really need the clarification after all. the posts in here over the last page or two really make me out to be a big ol' dumbass. it makes me sad, because I have changed quite a lot since turd was a regular poster, and I like people to think highly of me.gotta go to work. we'll be in "TOUCH."
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I'm probably about the same to worse than when Turd was last a frequent poster. Almost definitely worse off.Edit: Wow, this is kind of depressing me thinking about this. I haven't really made any significant positive changes in my life. Plenty of negative ones though. Well...this sucks.

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I'm probably about the same to worse than when Turd was last a frequent poster. Almost definitely worse off.
I think you're better Napa. Or maybe it's just because so many people have left that my standards have dropped.It's one of those things.
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yeah, I guess I didn't really need the clarification after all. the posts in here over the last page or two really make me out to be a big ol' dumbass. it makes me sad, because I have changed quite a lot since turd was a regular poster, and I like people to think highly of me.gotta go to work. we'll be in "TOUCH."
Well if it helps, I don't know who you are. When I was about twelve or thirteen I remember watching a David Blane special on tv. Me and my brothers were watching it in the living room, and we were completely blown away. We couldn't figure out how he did any of those tricks. Anyway, after a while my dad walked in and we were all excited to show it to him so he watched it for a little bit. Well, he did this trick where a guy picked a card out of the deck and then put it back in without showing it to him and then David Blane threw the cards against this big store window and the dude's card was stuck to the other side of the glass, and during the commercial break me and my brothers were all discussing how it was done and my dad said, "Boys, let me tell you something about the spirit world. There are spirits all around us that we can't see. Some are good and some are evil. Satan uses the evil ones, and some people can interact with these spirits and do things that normal people can't do. Now, I know it looks like magic and it's cool, but you need to realize that he's messing around with some very evil beings." After the commercial break David Blane picked up a pigeon in the park and then broke its neck and then brought it back to life and made it fly away. My dad just nodded to himself and said, "Yep, spirits" and walked out of the room. That man has a PhD. Every single week on sunday hundreds of people come to hear him speak. He teaches them how to live their lives.
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Almost definitely worse off.Edit: Wow, this is kind of depressing me thinking about this. I haven't really made any significant positive changes in my life. Plenty of negative ones though. Well...this sucks.
looking at the whole picture, oh god yes, I am so much worse off. but I think I'm a lot smarter, more articulate, etc. than I was in 2007ish.
Is 2007 our baseline?I'm much better off in real life now.
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2007? I'll say I'm doing way better. Personally, for sure. Professionally, it's always sucked. It was pre DUI, so those were good days. Still wouldn't go back and change it. Probably would killed someone.

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I'm probably about the same to worse than when Turd was last a frequent poster. Almost definitely worse off.Edit: Wow, this is kind of depressing me thinking about this. I haven't really made any significant positive changes in my life. Plenty of negative ones though. Well...this sucks.
I was thinking about this the other day. Not really in the context of how I've changed since I stopped posting here, but more about how I've developed as an adult over the last five years or so. Basically I realized that I haven't made any progression in emotional maturity. I've acquired virtually no skills in order to further a career I could do without killing myself inside of the next decade. I haven't had a single meaningful relationship that lasted more than a few months. I have virtually no control over my finances and absolutely no savings plan. I handle all my problems with my peers the way a five year old might. For example, a little while back some guy shushed me when I was being loud while he was trying to study for a test. It was in a public place (actually it was like a study hall area and everyone but me was studying), I was being pretty obnoxious, and he was really polite about it. Anyway, I left and then made fun of him behind his back for being a big enough pussy to actually study for a test. Then, the next day when I was talking to a group of people and he walked up and joined in the conversation I said, "I don't like you. Go away." Think about that. "I don't like you. Go away." What kind of an adult talks like that? An infant has more tact. If anything I've devolved in almost every aspect. I have had anal sex a number of times though. I had never had anal sex five years ago.
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2007? I'll say I'm doing way better. Personally, for sure. Professionally, it's always sucked. It was pre DUI, so those were good days. Still wouldn't go back and change it. Probably would killed someone.
Are you fatter? I bet you're fatter.
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so anybody wanna guess with me? better or worse?
Exactly the same?And Strat, let's not be too generous with your fictitious blown future. Heart attact at 47, I'd guess
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I could use a little advice. There's this guy at work who stinks. It's not a little stink either. Like if he's sitting near by and I turn towards him it snaps my neck back a little bit. Now, normally I'd just tell him he's smelly and he needs to take a shower before work, but I know for a fact that already three of the eight people I work with don't like me because I'm not nice and I'd like to have at least a couple of friends around. Plus, I was thinking maybe I ought to work on the maturity thing a little bit. So, how would an adult handle this one?

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Go to HR and tell them to do something for once? I'm starting to think I'm allergic to something at work. I'm constantly sneezing and having to blow my nose but am fine at home and on the weekends. Hopefully I am and it's nothing they could change so theyd have to let me work from home. That'd be the life. I'd probably never quit.Edit: yeah, what DJ said. Or your boss maybe?

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Exactly the same?
exponentially worse. and I sucked then. maybe I should move to new york city. what do you guys think? think I'd die within a month?turd: dude probably already knows he stinks and either doesn't care or can't help it. either way, your comments will not help him (or you).
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