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I Called In Sick Today

turd ferguson

By turd ferguson,
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speedz99

speedz99 145

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I am human, but not a neurologist.
Yeah I know, but it's the easiest way to classify what you do in one word.
Was that 8 words?
My answer was "right pontomedullary brain stem"...I'm not 100% sure it's correct, we haven't gotten the key yet. I'm pretty sure that CNVIII goes through there which is why you can get the vestibular problems in addition to the CP deficits.
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vbnautilus

vbnautilus 48

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My answer was "right pontomedullary brain stem"...I'm not 100% sure it's correct, we haven't gotten the key yet. I'm pretty sure that CNVIII goes through there which is why you can get the vestibular problems in addition to the CP deficits.
You know what? Fuck the brainstem.
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speedz99

speedz99 145

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You know what? Fuck the brainstem.
You know what? Fuck you.Pre-Post Edit: Meh...that was too obvious. I should have gone with, "How about I shove my brainstem up your foramen magnum?"
I do wish pele and mr. sparco would chime in to elevate this to the next level.
Don't we all.
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ShakeZuma

ShakeZuma 585

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This is all so very interesting. I do wish pele and mr. sparco would chime in to elevate this to the next level.
well hey thereI just got R, LELI, and OCS in the mail from netflix. can't wait!
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JSHamm

JSHamm 9

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well hey thereI just got R, LELI, and OCS in the mail from netflix. can't wait!
well hey hey...I've had sherlock holmes from netflix for the past 4 months and still haven't watched it. too busy catching up on history channel's Top Shot
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Sickinfo2

Sickinfo2 291

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So I was staggering through the shop this afternoon, minding my own bidness and all...Alright...I never just mind my own bidness, but lets just pretend this one timeSo when I turned the corner into the main workshop I observed four adolescent males hovering around a table, acting quite suspicious while trying to block my view of its contents. Now since the old saying is true and you cant con a conman, I steered my feet in that general direction to Magnum the situation..."Whats goin on?""Nuthin"(peeks over shoulders)"What are you guys doing with my compound bow?""We thought we'd shoot it some""Whats the rag tied around the arrow for?""Thats how you make a flaming arrow...duh""Gimme that thing"Kids. You try to teach them right from wrong and thats the thanks you get. I mean, I can take the smart ass remarks as well as the next guy. Silly pranks...rolls right off my back. But let them borrow one deadly weapon and they think they know everything. It really chapped my ass, but after a few minutes of fatherly life advice they saw just how foolish the attempt was and soon was headed down the straight and narrow path(kids gathered around table with Beans)"So Dad....what ignites the black powder?""Well, you see that after I cut the threaded end off with the tubing cutters, the arrow shaft is hollow""Yeah""Once the arrow is filled with the powder, you take this thirty ought six case and stick it over the end with the primer facing forward""But it wont fit""It will once you trim it back behind the neck with the cutters""Oh""Then....(takes lashing wire and wraps it around case head forming a spring) you simply take this roll pin and put it into the wire holder"(all eyes get larger and grins break out)"I SEE MR ICEWATER!....WHEN WE SHOOT THE ARROW THE PIN IS DROVE INTO THE PRIMER AND SETS OFF THE POWDER!""Exactly"(fifteen minutes of Beans and Shane stories about our trial and error methods of doing the same thing at age fifteen)"Now guys....remember....never shoot them straight up into the air like that""How much of Shanes house burned down?""Just the spare bedroom...but his ass still smoked for weeks after his mom got home"

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runthemover

runthemover 39

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potential spoilers for TG (with the) WTDT (the "(with the)" was like me using my fingers to count. FUNNY)

When telling someone that they should watch "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" you always have to throw a qualifier in there. Is it good? yes. But, it can be a bit graphic. What dead people and stuff? umm. yea. But there's a rape scene. Oh. well. I've seen a few of those. Well there's kinda three of them in here. Ahh. It's like 150 minutes long but it certainly does not feel like that. Another bonus is that if you like it then you can see the sequel which comes out in July I think. Oh yea. It's foreign so there's subtitles.Toy Story 3 doesn't have any rape scenes.
I also had a TST spoiler as a bonus
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Tactical Bear

Tactical Bear 3

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Game. Match the random, unprompted text I received today to the sender.1) 515PM "You are a Jew."2) 9AM "Hey you are probably still asleep but call me when you get up. I want to bet on the Rangers today."3) 7PM "Was it you who told me the story about how you lost all that money betting on the actor who played the Grandfather in 'Problem Child?'" 701PM "If so, that's really funny. If not, I've got a really funny story for you."4) 3PM "I think I've asked you before, but I don't remember. How do you feel about dirty talk and racy text messages?"5) 11PM "Hey who was it that blasted Willie Roaf's wife and got her pregnant? It was Joe Horn right?"6) 1PM "I figured it out by the way. It's that guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dennis I think. You remind me of a less psycho Dennis."DadJennyKaylaKissyfaceMaggie(One person sent two.)I seriously want to finish my fight story, but I don't have access to a computer, and typing on this iPod is cumbersome as fuuuuuuuuck

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El Guapo

El Guapo 8

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Game. Match the random, unprompted text I received today to the sender.1) 515PM "You are a Jew."2) 9AM "Hey you are probably still asleep but call me when you get up. I want to bet on the Rangers today."3) 7PM "Was it you who told me the story about how you lost all that money betting on the actor who played the Grandfather in 'Problem Child?'" 701PM "If so, that's really funny. If not, I've got a really funny story for you."4) 3PM "I think I've asked you before, but I don't remember. How do you feel about dirty talk and racy text messages?"5) 11PM "Hey who was it that blasted Willie Roaf's wife and got her pregnant? It was Joe Horn right?"6) 1PM "I figured it out by the way. It's that guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Dennis I think. You remind me of a less psycho Dennis."DadJennyKaylaKissyfaceMaggie(One person sent two.)I seriously want to finish my fight story, but I don't have access to a computer, and typing on this iPod is cumbersome as fuuuuuuuuck
1. Kayla2. Dad3. Kissyface4. Jenny5. Dad6. Maggie
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