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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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This place has kind of weird vibe today. Somebody tell a rape joke or something.

 

How would you guys react if your girlfriend wanted to do a rape fantasy thing?

 

That's not really a joke, sorry.

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If she told me she had a rape fantasy I'd say any scenario where I get to have sex with you is probably cool, so tell me what you want. And then I'd give it to her how she wanted and oh man it would be good. I'd be all giving it to her and she'd be like yeah you're giving it to me. So hot.

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I also called napa on his hypocrisy

 

Sir Francis, a play off of Stripes' "Lighten up Francis"

 

I did assume it was in ref to Strat's avatar, but I'm the one that called bs on Ocho's post, standing up for fatties everywhere, because as we know, every girl is 25% prettier with my dick in her mouth

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Is anybody watching the new show on Showtime called Ray Donovan?

 

I'm enjoying it very much partially because I love love Liev Schreiber

 

 

John Voigt had a fantastic little speech in episode two about a mouth being a mouth but dont let anyone fck you in the ass

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Yes. It's pretty good, but there's a few vibes/threads that are bothering me in a way I can't articulate. I'll definitely watch the rest of the season.

 

Under the Dome isn't getting better. I really liked the book, and they're taking away all the good elements of it and replacing it with shittily acted/written dreck.

 

The Bridge starts tomorrow. I'm in on any FX drama, but this looks pretty decent to boot.

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Under the Dome is horrible. The second episode of Ray Donovan was really disappointing.

 

I went to the bar with some friends the other night, and right before we left my place, I said something like, "One sec guys, gotta put on my rapin' shoes." Nobody laughed, and the girl we were with was audibly disgusted.

 

Kinda forgot there was a girl.

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Yeah I don't know how I would actually respond to her telling me she had a rape fantasy. Cause I would def be concerned that if I did it shed regret it afterwords and look at me like a filthy pervert.

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Damn women, always be trappin'.

 

Have you ever dated (married?) a sexually open (FREAKY) woman? I have. Once. Never again. It just got to feel like I was always being tested, and when I realized she just liked weird sex stuff, I started feeling I was being tested by God or something. Plus it was weird.

 

My brother and I had this conversation the other day, and it was kind of a while getting there, but once we both realized what the other was hinting at, it was so cathartic. "Damn you like boring sex, too? Maybe it's genetic?" One girl I hooked up with seemed like she'd be such a conservative lay, but when iti was getting close to business time, she kept asking my where I wanted to come. Words cannot explain how awkward that was. She was really REALLY focused on that, getting all specific and shit. "Do you want to come on my tits? Huh? You can come on my face if you want. I bet you'd like that, wouldnt you?"

 

I eventually settled for B-ing my L on her T's because I thought maybe I wanted to see her again.

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Look at me. A girl got me depressed.

 

Well, this week can only get better.

 

I have nothing to share about gnomes living in stumps....sorry

 

I stapled and glued their asses as well. Thanks!

 

Is this a dick move, or inappropriate?

 

 

That's my favorite kind of line, smart and funny, hilarious.

 

The ladies at the client all thought I was in high school though which legitimately ruined my day.

 

About 10 years ago I hired this 23 year old baby faced loser looking kid that looked 15. He was married to a well, not so hot girl and had two kids. Now he's 33, divorced and gets more ass than a pimp. He tells me it's because the baby face looks didn't become an advantage until he was older. He giggles and says "now I'm hot". Saw him recently and he had a 23 year old chick that looks like a model and younger than his daughter. Let's face it, some guys hit mid 30's go bald and look 50. You have a major advantage to look forward to.

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