NickCave 194 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I spent most of my night writing stuff, and then deleting it because I was pretty sure somebody else had written it before. I'm almost certain I do not have a future in comedy. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 have you considered jokes about airline food? hey nick, I just woke up. and you're still up. how do you feel about that? I'm gonna forego going out and hanging out with friends tonight so that I can get a lot of grass cut so I don't have to cut it tomorrow so tomorrow I can go cut down a tree. woohoo. haven't cut wood in a while. gettin' the itch. Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 have you considered jokes about airline food? hey nick, I just woke up. and you're still up. how do you feel about that? A friend of mine has been reasonably successful in the comedy game, and one time somebody more successful than him made a joke at my friend's expense, in which he insinuated my friend's comedy was tantamount to airline food jokes. We spent the four days before his next set writing only airline food jokes so he could go on and show that guy what's what. Like, "hey, ************, I bet you think you're funny, THIS is what funny really is. SO WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH AIRLINE FOOD?" He bombed harder than anyone I've ever seen. It was epic. Oh, and as far as the awake/asleep thing you're talking about, I don't feel much about it either way. Except, I guess, ambivalent. Anyway, since we're talking about my sleep schedule, I tend to pull a few 24-36 hour life-shifts a week, while still averaging 6ish hours of sleep a night. Admittedly, it's super weird when I drink, because sometimes I honestly lose complete track of my sobriety. I mean, I'll have no idea if I'm sober or drunk. If I had to guess my BAC, I'm not sure if I could get within 8 points. I'm gonna forego going out and hanging out with friends tonight so that I can get a lot of grass cut so I don't have to cut it tomorrow so tomorrow I can go cut down a tree. woohoo. haven't cut wood in a while. gettin' the itch. hey shake, I just finished all my landscaping duties for the week. and you've still got to do yours. how do you feel about that? Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I feel GREAT Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I feel GREAT Sometimes I feel like I want to give somebody a high-five, but that doesn't seem awesome enough, so I imagine giving somebody a dick-five. Does that make me me some kind of fag? Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 depends on if you're erect or not Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I wrote a pretty great cover letter last night. this accounting job at the gaming company has been posted for forever, so I had an employee refer me. job requires collaboration with strangers around the company, so I wrote about the time someone forwarded me an impressive recon report, which led to me cold-emailing a guy 5 ranks above me (from another group) to ask for a meeting, collaborating with him to automate the creation of said report, and bringing the process into our group. was good. I will bomb on the phone like last time and not even get an on site interview. but it was a good cover letter. Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 boooooring Link to post Share on other sites
funyet 53 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 What's the deal with airline food? Why don't they just make the whole plane out of it? (stolen from Twitter; don't remember who said it) Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 new moderat album is incred Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 boooooring glad you decided to contribute this morning after dropping this Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Got a date tonight. This is a weird one. Met her in a bar and know nothing about her except I want to prosecute the pussy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 why? what did it do to you? Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 why? what did it do to you? Suborning perjury. (I told her I'm a racecar driver) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 well hey I've got an idea: you should have sex with her. Link to post Share on other sites
YonYonson 156 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I hope you do have sex with her. That way shake isn't the only one doing well. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 680 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Got a date tonight. This is a weird one. Met her in a bar and know nothing about her except I want to prosecute the pussy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 look at all this value shake is bringing Link to post Share on other sites
YonYonson 156 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I'm really going to enjoy a post work nap. Gonna leave soon because I have to go sign a new lease for my apartment. Decided to stay where I am. Big decision. Should be okay. Scheduled at 4 on Friday so I could leave early. It's how a playa does. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 680 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 With the same roommate that you hate? Link to post Share on other sites
Quacktastic 106 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 I think you are confusing him with NickCave... Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 680 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Another thing happening in my life is my living situation. My lease is up in 60 days and I won't be staying where I am currently. For several reasons: price, mobility, and tired of living with current roommate. Link to post Share on other sites
The Ocho 970 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Maybe Essay is Nick Cave's ex girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Just sprinkled some Gold Bond on my junk. Feel like that's the kind of thing I'd appreciate every day, but I only save it for special occasions. It's important to utilize restraint, you guys. Link to post Share on other sites
The Ocho 970 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Nothin like putting some medicated foot powder in your tenderest of tenders. Link to post Share on other sites
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